Archer, Season 1

Archer (2009-Present) is an animated comedy series on FX created by Adam Reed. more »

Trexler:
[after Archer hits a polo ball out the window] God, you're a natural! Bet it's all that lacrosse at boarding school, no doubt.

Archer:
Yeah, 13 years' worth.

Trexler:
13 years?! What, did she ship you off in kindergarten?! Gosh, that must've been tough.

Archer:
No, I loved it. Uh... made a lot of good friends. [Quick cutaway to a young Archer sitting alone on the lacrosse field] Family, almost, is what they were.

Trexler:
Speaking of, how's your mother taking all this?

Archer:
Oh, please. I bet she doesn't even miss me.

[Cut to ISIS]

Malory:
[drunk on absinthe] Because he'll be back, crying for his mommy! Just like that Christmas break when I moved and forgot to give my new address to his stupid boarding school. [Cheryl gasps.] I mean, he rode the train into the city all by himself. He couldn't pick up a phone book? Nine years old, and bawling in that police station like a little girl! What's that tell you?

Cheryl:
Kind of a lot, actually.

Malory:
Oh, shut up. I bet you're barren.

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