Two and a Half Men, Season 1

Two and a Half Men (2003-present) is a TV series original centered around a hip single bachelor whose lifestyle is interrupted when his newly separated brother and his son move in. more »

Evelyn:
Granted, I have no idea what's it like to be an eleven-year-old boy, but I do know one thing, sweetheart. You have no idea what real unhappiness is. Real unhappiness is being totally ignored by the very people you gave birth to! Real unhappiness is when you're recovering from liposuction and your only grandson doesn't even send you a get-well card. And FYI, I only had that surgery so you wouldn't have a grandmommy with matronly upper arms.

Alan:
Well, if he didn't need a shrink before, he needs one now.

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    Who said: "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"
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