My parents focused on celebrating achievements, and my being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them.
That's so silly.
It's actually based on very sound theories; his mother published a paper on it.
What was it called, I Hate My Son and That's Why He Can't Have Cake?
It was obviously very effective. Leonard grew up to become an experimental physicist. Perhaps if she also denied him Christmas, he'd be a little better at it.
Well, I love birthdays: waking up to mom's special French Toast breakfast, wearing the birthday king crown, playing laser tag with all my friends...
Yeah! See? That's what kids should have!
Actually, that was last year...