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The most important thing isn’t the argument, it’s the way you argue it and the way you resolve it, arguments don’t destroy the relationship. It’s the way that people argue that destroys the relationship and the way people respond to arguments.
We’ve known for years that stress creates fatigue, aches, pains, insomnia, anxiety and [it can affect] the gastrointestinal tract with ulcers, IBS, and the endocrine system, as well as your thyroid. We know that stress leads to high blood pressure, heart attacks, stroke, and more.
If you know that your partner is creating the stress, it’s about you sitting down and saying, ‘this is what I see. How can we solve this?'.
The fact that both men and women cited in the top 5 that they argued constantly tells you that people are not skilled at resolving conflict.
If we’re arguing on where to go on [vacation], out of a 10 maybe that’s a 3 or 4. If we’re talking about finances, and one partner is spending tremendously and we’re going into debt, then that’s going to create a stress that might be 8 or 9.
If you and I are having an argument, if I’m undergoing stress or you’re undergoing stress in your own life and I’m your partner, I still want to look at myself and say how is this affecting me? What can I do to help her? What can I do for our relationship?
I think there is a cultural shift towards change and younger men are more open to change than older men, younger men have a very different perspective to their roles ... and younger men are not afraid of the woman being in power or having a female president or having a female boss.
A female starts facing change from a very, very young age, men have a lot less change in their body, that therefore changes the way women perceive life because they see things in cycles, they see things as changing, they expect change and then they embrace change.
I'm really learning again, i can talk to my kids about stuff that I've never been able to talk to my kids about.
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