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Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf. (to a group of deaf children standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band in Wales)
How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test? (to a driving instructor in Scotland)
I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing. (during a speech)
If it had got four legs and is not a chair, if it has two wings and it flies, but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it. (commenting on Chinese eating habits at a 1986 World Wildlife Fund coference)
It looks as if it was put in by an Indian. (looking at an old-fashioned fuse box while on a factory tour near Edinburgh)
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