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Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
Elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with Public Officials.
I traveled a good deal all over the world, and I got along pretty good in all these foreign countries, for I have a theory that it's their country and they got a right to run it like they want to.
The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing -- and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House
I bet you if I had met him Trotsky and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn't like.
I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.
If any of us had a child that we thought was as bad as we know we are, we would have cause to start to worry.
If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week.
Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, that don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous.
Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.
On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.
The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation. I never yet talked to the man who wanted to save time who could tell me what he was going to do with the time he saved.
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How's the President'
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
We are sure living in a peculiar time. You get more for not working than you will for working, and more for not raising a hog than for raising it.
When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I dident like. I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.