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It didn't affect me as much right after as it did about four or five years later. It hit me so hard. I was so traumatized by it, I was like: 'Just keep going,' i wasn't even willing to admit that anything had even happened. ... I didn't tell anybody. I didn't even tell myself for the longest time. And then I was like, you know what, all this drinking, and all this nonsense, you have to go to the source, otherwise it just won't go away.