Eli Stone

[Discussing Eli's MRI results]

Nathan Stone:
Well, it's a little technical, medically speaking, but I'll try and put it in terms that you can understand: brain good, personality bad.

Eli Stone:
No joking, everything was all right?

Nathan Stone:
I was standing over the technician's shoulder the entire time. We looked at your MRI, we compared it to last month's scan, and nothing has changed. You're still a tool.

Nathan Stone:
Not every problem can be solved by suing somebody, Eli.

Eli Stone:
I got a law degree that says different.

Patti Dellacroix:
[Eli has brought Patti a gift from the Himalayas] My boss has a nervous breakdown, and all I get is this lousy... what is this?

Eli Stone:
That is a Saraswati. The Hindu goddess of wisdom.

Patti Dellacroix:
How does it work? Do I hit you in the head with it, and then you come back to your senses?

Eli Stone:
Patti, the grumpier you are, the more I know you missed me.

[last lines]

Grace:
We both know that only one of us is getting on that airplane.

[Ray LaMontagne's "Let It Be Me" begins playing in the background]

Eli Stone:
We weren't brought together for nothing.

Grace:
No. Oh, it wasn't for nothing. I think it was proof that there was someone else out there like us, someone else *for* us. It was a reminder.

Eli Stone:
That can't be all it was.

Grace:
That's not all it was. [pauses] You gave it to me - my magical airport moment.

Eli Stone:
Don't those usually end with - with a... [Grace kisses Eli]... with a kiss?

Grace:
[whispers] Yeah. A kiss and a goodbye.

Eli Stone:
For now. Yeah? Tell me it's just for now.

Grace:
Nobody knows what's gonna happen in the future. Not even you, Eli.

Eli Stone:
Bye, Grace.

Grace:
Bye, Eli. [wipes away her tears, smiles, turns around and walks away]

[last lines]

Aaron Stone:
[narrating from his journal a letter addressed to his son Nate when Nate was still a kid] You boys are my whole world. I know what's in store for both of you, [adult Nate raises a glass and mouths the words "to Pop"] and... I just cry [Nate and his brother Eli clink glasses] because I'm so very proud. I love you, Nathan. I love you so much it aches. Happy birthday. Love, Dad.

Taylor Wethersby:
I specifically asked you not to say anything to Matt!

Jordan Wethersby:
There was a *chocolate bear*!

Nathan Stone:
I thought that Eli burned my Dad's journal.

Dr. Chen:
Yeah, he did. It's ash, Dude.

Nathan Stone:
So how did you know that I was supposed to be in court? What? Did you use some Eastern mystic power to reanimate it?

Dr. Chen:
Yeah... it's called KINK-O'S!

Matt Dowd:
How'd you...?

Taylor Wethersby:
I know people who know people who know Maggie who knows people who know Seal!

George Michael:
Would... would you mind not poking me, please?

Eli Stone:
Well I'm sorry, it's just, you know, you're very solid for a vision.

George Michael:
You're a very odd man.

Eli Stone:
Well, at least I'm not a hallucination.

George Michael:
Well, he can see me.

Eli Stone:
Bradley, do you see me talking to anyone? Real life? Actual person?

Bradley Kitsis:
Of course I do, sir... That's Bono!

George Michael:
Yeah... happens all the time. I had the glasses first, by the way.

George Michael:
Are you Eli Stone? I'm George Michael.

George Michael:
You just have to try and make a difference, don't you?

Eli Stone:
Yeah.

[Maggie has made a pre-trial motion to remove Eli from the opposing team because he claims to be a prophet]

Maggie Dekker:
Last year he predicted the Silver Terrace earthquake to some public notoriety.

Eli Stone:
Which actually supports the idea that I could be, you know... special.

Maggie Dekker:
Which is an unfair advantage in a jury trial. What juror wouldn't be swayed by the fact plaintiff's counsel counts God as one of his clients?

Eli Stone:
She's right.

Maggie Dekker, Taylor Wethersby:
[together] She is?

Eli Stone:
Insofar as the personal details of the trial attorneys may prejudice the jury.

Maggie Dekker:
Your honor...

Eli Stone:
[interrupting Maggie] So we should make sure that they don't find out that Ms. Dekker and I slept together last week.

Maggie Dekker:
That is totally inappropriate and prejudicial!

Matt Dowd:
[talking over Maggie] You dog! I knew it was just a matter of time.

Eli Stone:
Come to think of it, [indicating Taylor and Matt] she's also sleeping with opposing counsel

Maggie Dekker:
That's irrelevant!

Eli Stone:
And now she's carrying his unborn child. And did I mention that Ms. Wethersby and I used to be engaged?

Judge Marcia Phelps:
Uh, uh, uh. So basically what you're saying is, I'm the only person in this room who's not having sex with one of you. [Paul Rollins raises his hand]

Eli Stone:
And that Ms. Dekker's motion might be motivated more by personal issues than legal ones.

Maggie Dekker:
You wish!

Judge Marcia Phelps:
Enough! Save it for your inevitable reality show. If Mr. Stone does work for God, I'm not gonna chance damnation by disqualifying him. But, if I hear any of you utter one more word about prophets, prophecies, or especially who's sleeping with whom I will hold you in contempt, I swear... to Mr. Stone's boss.

Taylor Wethersby:
[to Eli] It's like the aneurysm woke up every part of you, except your heart.

Eli Stone:
Are you breaking up with me? 'Cause I-I was just diagnosed with a brain aneurysm, and that would be really bad timing on your part.

Eli Stone:
[hearing the song 'Faith'] It's coming from the living room!

Taylor Wethersby:
[yelling] I'm glad SOMETHING'S coming!

Eli Stone:
But I don't believe in God.

Dr. Frank Chen:
Sure you do. You believe in right and wrong! You believe in justice and fairness! You believe in love! All those things are God!

Dr. Frank Chen:
Almost all religions believe there are those who are sent to us who will help us find are way. Some people call them prophets.

Eli Stone:
Stress gives you premature grays, it doesn't make legendary British pop stars sing their greatest hits live from your couch.

[Nathan thinks Eli's vision of George Michael was just a hallucination]

Eli Stone:
What do I do if George Michael comes back?

Nathan Stone:
Get an autograph.

Taylor Wethersby:
Look, Patti, I weathered your hostilities when I was with Eli, but now that I work here I have got to know: what the hell is your problem?

Patti:
Can I be honest with you?

Taylor Wethersby:
This is you holding back?

Patti:
I don't like who Eli became after he started dating you.

Taylor Wethersby:
I didn't change Eli, Patti, I couldn't -

Patti:
After he started seeing you, the firm's smaller clients weren't worth his time.

Taylor Wethersby:
Eli has been at this firm for eight years, he has been dating me for two!

Patti:
How do you explain the last two months? The cases he's taken? What he's done right before, and since, he dumped you?

Taylor Wethersby:
Maybe because he's sick?

Patti:
Or... maybe *now* he's better.

George Michael:
[singing]... And I'm feeling good.

Martin Posner:
You can stay on as a counsel. In fact, Marci and I discussed it, we would very much like you to.

Jordan Wethersby:
That's a magnanimous consolation prize, Martin. I have some rather specific anatomical suggestions as to what you can do with it!

Jordan Wethersby:
Might I entice you to follow your old boss to a new firm?

Eli Stone:
No... but I'll follow my friend.

Jordan Wethersby:
Eli Stone reminds us of the best parts of ourselves. He applies his considerable talents to underdogs and individuals, instead of conglomerates and CEO's. I believe that every firm, everyone needs an Eli Stone.

Eli Stone:
I need this to be ironclad. I need to draft it without sympathy or sentiment.

Matt Dowd:
I am fairly unsympathetic.

Eli Stone:
This is what I'm counting on. We're gonna put your utter lack of humanity to good use.