Justice League

[while meeting with J'onn J'onzz of the Justice Lords, the Justice League counterparts from another dimension]

Batman:
Have you read his mind yet?

J'onn J'onzz:
Martians don't do that to one another.

Batman:
Can't... or won't?

J'onn J'onzz:
Both.

Lorder Superman:
What do you want?

Doomsday:
Same as you, I imagine. Power, control; but I had to see the best this planet had to offer. I am not impressed.

Doomsday:
You think THAT can hurt me?

[Doomsday stomps on Lorder Superman]

Doomsday:
My skin can withstand a nuclear explosion!

[holds Lorder Superman up by the throat]

Doomsday:
My bones are...

[Lorder Superman lobotomizes Doomsday with his heat vision]

[last lines]

Lex Luthor:
[grinning] It's not them.

Lord Batman:
What're ya hiding for?

Batman:
I do my best work in the dark.

Lord Batman:
I used to think that, too. But what have you ever accomplished from there? Besides from scaring a few punks half to death and putting a few more in jail.

Batman:
It all adds up.

Lord Batman:
Not fast enough. If you really want to make a difference, want to change the system instead of just patching it, you've got to step into the sunlight. Take over, like we did.

Lord Batman:
Think about it - a world where there's no crimes. No victims. No pain.

Batman:
And no choice! Who elected you, anyway?

Lord Batman:
Who elected *you*? The problem with democracy is, it doesn't keep you very safe.

Batman:
It has other virtues. But you seem to have forgotten that.

Lord Batman:
*I* didn't forget! I just chose peace and security instead.

Batman:
You grabbed power!

[Batman appears behind his Lorder self, and raises a Batarang... ]

Lord Batman:
And with that power, we've made a world where no eight-year-old boy will ever lose his parents because of some punk with a gun!

[Silence. The batarang drops to the ground, and Lorder Batman spins around, seeing Batman there, hands lowered]

Batman:
You win.

The Flash:
So you're not a Boy Scout after all.

Superman:
Never made it past my first merit badge.

Batman:
[speaking of the Justice Lords] They're as strong as we are, and just as smart. But they're willing to kill.

Superman:
What're you saying? That we have to be willing to kill too? I *won't* cross that line!

Batman:
How else can we stop them?

Superman:
You're the smart one. You figure it out.

Batman:
We can't do it! Not unless we cross some kind of line.

The Flash:
[Lorder Superman has Flash by the throat] Can't do it, can you? I'm the last piece of your conscience. That's the one thing you'll never do.

Lord Superman:
I've done a lot of things I thought I'd never do these last two years. One more won't hurt.

Superman:
Hold it!

Lord Superman:
[Seeing Superman and Lex Luthor together] Nice company you're keeping. Must be your true colors.

Superman:
It's just one of the hard choices I've had to make today. Go for it!

Lex Luthor:
[Raising his power disruptor] Oh, yes!

Batman:
I didn't know you could do that.

The Flash:
Neither did I. But I had to come with *some*thing if *you* weren't going to.

Batman:
I couldn't. Not with him anticipating everything I'd ever think of. But who could anticipate you?

Batman:
[having just witnessed a man arrested for complaining about poor restaurant service and an attempt to cheat on his bill] They'd love it here, don't you think?

Lord Batman:
Who?

Batman:
Mom and Dad. They'd be *so* proud of you.

Lord Batman:
[turning to scowl at the stoplight] Just drive.

The Flash:
So, without your Flash, the Justice Lords went rogue?

Lord Batman:
It wasn't quite that simple.

The Flash:
Hey, he was the conscience of your group, and that means I must be...

Green Lantern:
Come on, Jiminy.

The Flash:
Harv Hickman? The magazine publisher?

Wonder Woman:
You know his work?

The Flash:
I... only read it for the articles.

Jason Blood:
Gone, gone, the form of man! Arise the demon Etrigan!

Wonder Woman:
You've been hunting this sorceress Le Fay for how long?

Etrigan:
For hundreds of years, she's taunted me in a never-ending game of cat-and-mouse. But I'll never rest until her soul writhes in the Eternal Pit!

The Flash:
[aside] And I thought Bats was creepy.

Morgaine le Fey:
Youth is so wasted on the young.

Morgaine le Fey:
[looking at a row of computers in the library] Don't these people believe in books anymore?

The Flash:
[J'onn is taking the stone to La Fey] We'll stop him. I promise.

Etrigan:
Like you promised to protect the stone?

Bruce Wayne:
We'll do whatever it takes, Etrigan.

Etrigan:
Are you saying you're prepared to take out one of your own?

Bruce Wayne:
I repeat. *Whatever* it takes!

[after J'onn destroys the Stone]

Mordred:
Have we lost, Mother?

Morgaine Le Fay:
This battle. But not the war.

[the League teleports into Mordred's throne room]

The Flash:
Ding! Fifth floor - hardware, sporting goods, evil sorceresses!

Wonder Woman:
Let me understand this. You possess the most powerful object in the world, and yet all you wished for is money and woman?

Harv Hickman:
What else is there?

Wonder Woman:
[after being forced to beat he giant worm he was transformed into] Sorry, Harv.

[At Lex's command, Toyman prepares to torture Tala to resurrect Brainiac]

Toyman:
[singing to tune of Twinkle, twinkle, little star] Twinkle, Twinkle, Brainiac. Tala's gonna bring you back.

Darkseid:
[to his armies] Let the universe howl in despair for I have returned!

Grodd:
I should have let you rot in jail!

Lex Luthor:
Goodbye, Grodd. It could have gone the other way.

Grodd:
It really could have, couldn't it?

Lex Luthor:
No. But why speak ill of the dead?

[releases Grodd into space]

[Lex is preparing to sacrifice Tala to resurrect Braniac]

Tala:
You... you were planning this from the beginning! Even before I...

Lex Luthor:
I'm a sick person, too.

[Lex is preparing to sacrifice Tala to resurrect Braniac]

Tala:
Lex! Please! I beg you...!

Lex Luthor:
Hold that thought.

[after putting down Grodd's mutiny, Lex herds the mutinous Legion members into a corner]

Lex Luthor:
Does anyone have one good reason why I should let you live?

[Killer Frost breaks free of the group and freezes the rest into a huge block of ice]

Lex Luthor:
Killer Frost... you've got a future.

[last lines]

Lex Luthor:
We have a little problem...

Darkseid:
It seems I have you to thank for my resurrection. Though your world will suffer slowly, I grant you a quick death.

[last lines]

Shayera Hol:
[to Batman] Tell me about my son.

John Stewart:
Shayera, I haven't been fair to Mari, and I haven't been fair to you. I couldn't figure out how to tell you this, or... even if I should.

Shayera Hol:
What?

John Stewart:
When Batman and I went to the future, we met a man named Warhawk. He's our son. Yours and mine.

Shayera Hol:
...Our son?

John Stewart:
That's why I've been so awkward around you lately. I've been trying to figure out what to do with this knowledge. What is means for our future.

Shayera Hol:
Well, what else could it mean?

John Stewart:
I won't be destiny's puppet. Whatever the future holds, we'll make those choices ourselves.

Shayera Hol:
Don't say you don't love me.

John Stewart:
I'll never say that. But, you need to know... I'm staying with Mari.

Hawkman:
[about Hawkgirl's mace] You always were good with that thing.

Shayera Hol:
Just hit him!

Hawkman:
Right!

Shadow Thief:
For decades their ever-growing empire was a utopia. But nothing lasts forever. At least, nothing good.

Gentleman Ghost:
I like it. Very imaginative. But your ring is useless against me, Lantern.

Green Lantern:
Then why are you running from it?

Mari McCabe:
You might want to ease up there. Most guys don't go for the ripped, bulky look.

Shayera Hol:
Just trying to maintain my girlish figure. [looks at her chest] My girlish, girlish figure. And why does it always have to be about the guys, anyway?

Mari McCabe:
Honey, it's always about the guys. And since I'll be away on that photo shot for a week...

Shayera Hol:
Here we go...

Mari McCabe:
Well, I'm surprised you haven't made your move before now.

Shayera Hol:
I'm still trying to figure out the proper Earth protocol for this situation. It's not like I can just assassinate you in your asleep, or poison your water... I miss Thanagar.

Mari McCabe:
I'm just saying. You think you've got a shot, take it. I'm not worried.

Green Lantern:
[Reaches for Vixen's suitcase] Let me get that. [They kiss]

Mari McCabe:
Mmm... you can kiss, you can schlepp... I think men are just wonderful.

Green Lantern:
I'll miss you.

Mari McCabe:
You'd better.

Warlord:
Deimos! You and me, pal.

Deimos:
[casually] Morgan. I was hoping to kill you today.

Stargirl:
Geez, you call that an army?

Warlord:
Most of these folks have lost everything to Deimos, so, you know, feel free to dump on them.

Stargirl:
Ugh, my dad.

Supergirl:
I know - Superman tried to keep me on the farm. Made me hide there for three years.

Stargirl:
Big deal. I've still got a curfew. Enough cosmic energy to trash a city and I can't stay out past ten.

Supergirl:
Three years. On a farm. In Kansas.

Green Lantern:
[during an epic battle, Supergirl has lost her powers] Supergirl, you stay...

Supergirl:
[leaping off a wall into battle] Hah!

Green Lantern:
Fine.

Green Lantern:
When we get home, you and I are gonna have a little talk about grandstanding.

[Stargirl points to Supergirl, surrounded by her fans]

Stargirl:
Tell that to her, the little showoff! She stole my thunder!

[Hearing, one of Supergirl's fans runs over and kicks Stargirl in the shin]

Stargirl:
Ow!

Supergirl Fan:
Don't you talk about Supergirl! Supergirl can melt you with her eyes!

Stargirl:
Big whoop - my stepdad here is a Mecha.

[S.T.R.I.P.E. waves hello]

Supergirl Fan:
Ha! Mecha is *so* last year.

Captain Marvel:
You're my biggest fan.

Superman:
Excuse me?

Captain Marvel:
I-I mean I'm YOUR biggest fan! Sorry, sir, it's... uh... it's a little overwelming meeting you.

Batman:
You were a little hard on the Boy Scout, don't you think?

Superman:
I thought I was the Boy Scout?

Batman:
I did too, 'til I met Captain Marvel.

Superman:
Why are you... why is everyone defending Captain Marvel?

Batman:
We like him. He's... sunny.

Superman:
[overpowering Billy Batson] Fight's over, son!

Captain Marvel:
No more Mister Nice Guy... [takes on Superman]

Captain Marvel:
My whole life, I've looked up to the League. You were my heroes. Every one of you.

Captain Marvel:
[to Superman] And you, you were more than a hero. I idolized you. I wanted to be you. Whenever I was out there, facing down the bad guys, I'd think, "What would Superman do?" Now I know.

Captain Marvel:
I believe in fair play. I believe in taking people at their word and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Back home, I've come up against my share of pretty nasty bad guys, but I never had to act the way they did to win a fight. I always found another way. I guess I'm saying I like being a hero. A symbol. And that's why... I'm quitting the Justice League. You don't act like heroes anymore.

Batman:
J'onn! We're in trouble!

J'onn J'onzz:
Are you asking for help?

Batman:
Yes!

J'onn J'onzz:
You never ask for help.

J'onn J'onzz:
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Kent. I hope I'm not disturbing you. Super... uh, Clark, was most insistent that I spend the holidays with you. My name is J'onn... I'm a Martian.

Pa Kent:
Oh, we're no strangers to aliens in this house. You just make yourself at home.

[Clark Kent examines his Christmas presents]

Clark Kent:
Lead...

[Ultra-Humanite places the toy in front of the children; it lights up, and starts playing the theme from "The Nutcracker."]

D.J. Rubber Ducky:
[Humanite's voice] Hello, children. Come close and I'll tell you a story.

Little Girl:
Is that D.J. Rubber Ducky?

Little Boy:
He sounds weird.

D.J. Rubber Ducky:
[as they gather round] Little Clara had just received a beautiful toy nutcracker from her godfather, the mysterious Herr Drosselmeyer...

Ultra-Humanite:
Well? An improvement, wouldn't you say?

The Flash:
I kind of liked it when he made the poopy noise.

[Humanite frowns; Flash looks at the children, listening raptly to the story]

D.J. Rubber Ducky:
That night, as Clara slept beneath the Christmas tree, her beloved toy came alive to lead her on an unforgettable adventure...

The Flash:
But this is good too.

Ultra-Humanite:
[of the top hat] I won't wear it.

The Flash:
Oh, come on, I'm wearing the beard. You don't want to scare the kids, do you?

Ultra-Humanite:
The indignity...

Pa Kent:
We used to wrap his presents in lead foil so he couldn't peek.

Clark Kent:
[Clark looks momentarily confused] You mean *Santa* wrapped them.

Ma Kent:
Oh, of course, dear.

Ultra-Humanite:
You'll be happy to know, Flash, that your words - jejeune though they were - did not fall on deaf ears. I appreciate the sentiment behind them and therefore call a truce in honor of the season.

The Flash:
Seriously?

Ultra-Humanite:
You'll have the toy to give to your young friends. I'm improving it, too.

The Flash:
[suspicious] It's not gonna blow up or anything?

Ultra-Humanite:
[puh-leeze] Flash. It IS Christmas.

Ma Kent:
[after J'onn puts on his sweater] I wasn't sure about the size...

[J'onn shape-shifts, expanding his upper body to fill out the sweater]

J'onn J'onzz:
[smiles] I can grow into it.

[Hawkgirl takes Green Lantern to her idea of a celebration - a dive bar on a sleazy planet]

Shayera Hol:
[throws the doors open] Hi, guys!

Entire Crowd:
SHAYERA!

Clark Kent:
That's why I like coming home for the holidays. I can just relax and be myself.

Pa Kent:
Okay, everyone! I'm turning on the Christmas tree!

Clark Kent:
Pa! That's my job!

[runs downstairs]

[last lines; Clark and his parents listen to J'onn singing in Martian]

Clark Kent:
And he said he didn't bring a gift.

Shayera Hol:
You fly through space all the time but sliding down a snowy hill makes you shriek like a child?

[a large creature rises behind The Atom]

The Atom:
[turning] He's bigger than my car now, Katie. Personally, I blame you.

Katie:
How can it possibly my fault?

The Atom:
Because otherwise it would be my fault. And that can't be right; I'm a professor. [swings onto the creature's back and opens a panel] I have the core control and I can see the problem. The chemical-wash made a bad nanochip. I can shut him down by - [the creature swings wildly, going underwater for a second before rising] OK. I'm just gonna be direct. [punches the wires to short-circuit them, causing the creature to fall]

Katie:
Professor Palmer? Professor? Ray!

The Atom:
I'm going to lay here for a while, Katie. I'm old now, and I get tired.

Batman:
[while falling through the air after having to abandon his plane] I could use a little air support seeing as I can't fly... at all.

[continues to fall]

Batman:
Now would be a good time.

The Atom:
[a general has just taken away a doomsday machine that nearly destroyed Earth] Amazing. Show him a weapon that destroyed its creators and every other thing it saw, and he wants to play with it. What's to stop history from repeating itself here on Earth?

Superman:
We are.

Superman:
Come on, Bruce, I know a burger place in Metropolis that has the best fries on the east coast. And the milkshakes are so thick...

[Deadman takes control of Superman's body]

Superman:
I need your help!

Wonder Woman:
That's pretty thick!

Batman:
You're wasting time! Go in as a ghost. Find the central control and shut down the shield generator. We'll follow as soon as we can.

Superman:
Yeah, okay!

[Deadman leaves Superman's body]

Superman:
...you have to eat them with a spoon. What am I doing in Africa?

Superman:
Is everything okay?

Wonder Woman:
Well, I'm sort of missing Flash's obligatory joke about how Grodd made a monkey out of us.

Superman:
Just couldn't let it go unsaid.

Wonder Woman:
Obligatory!

Lex Luthor:
Bizarro. Superman is your *best* friend! Do you understand?

Bizarro:
Bizarro understand. Superman am friend! Bizarro must KILL him!

Lex Luthor:
I wasn't going to do this for another few weeks, but seriously...

[rises from table]

Lex Luthor:
Turning all of humanity into apes?

[aims a weapon at Grodd]

Lex Luthor:
*THAT* was your master plan?

[shoots Grodd]

Lex Luthor:
Listen up! From now on, I'm in charge of this operation. Anybody got a problem with that?

Batman:
[from the Watchtower] Solivar, this is Batman.

Solivar:
What a coincidence. I was just about to call you.

[Solivar is shown crouching behind rubble, holding a gun. Sounds of battle]

Batman:
We wanted to give you a heads-up. We have reason to believe Grodd may be coming your way.

Solivar:
You don't say! That would explain the armies of supervillains attacking the city!

Temple Guard:
Humble apologies, but to enter this holy place, the right must be earned.

[Devil Ray shoots him]

Devil Ray:
Keep the change.

[Deadman takes control of Atomic Skull to shut down Gorilla City's force field]

Atomic Skull:
You'd think the thing would be a big red button or at least have a sign on it or something... the heck with it!

[smashes the controls]

Superman:
[possessed by Deadman] Gorilla City?

Wonder Woman:
A hidden city of talking, hyper-intelligent gorillas, with technology far beyond anything humans have developed.

Superman:
Come on!

Wonder Woman:
You're a ghost from the Himalayas, having trouble believing this?

Superman:
Point.

Deadman:
You killed my master!

Devil Ray:
You'll have to be more specific.

Batman:
Okay, let's get these people locked up. Sounds like we've got a fight on our hands.

Giganta:
If you think you're locking us up while the whole world is under attack, you got two fights on your hands.

[the Leaguers and Legionnaires stare each other down, ready to fight]

Batman:
She's right. We'll need all the bodies we can throw at this.

Superman:
Oh, come on! It's Lex Flippin' Luthor! Why should we trust him?

Atomic Skull:
Hey, it's our world too!

Lex Luthor:
Let's be clear about this: we're not here to help you save the world, you're here to help me get revenge on Darkseid. When this is over, it's back at business as usual.

[Superman glares at Lex for a long moment]

Superman:
Wouldn't have it any other way.

Darkseid:
You still try to fight. Can't you see that it's hopeless?

Superman:
That man won't quit as long as he can still draw a breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking constant care not to break something. To break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die.

[Darkseid tries to attack, but Superman knocks him back]

Superman:
But you can take it, can't ya, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am!

Metron:
I will warn you final time: only a twelfth-level intellect has even the slightest hope of surviving what you are about to experience.

Lex Luthor:
Then I'm overqualified!

Atomic Skull:
Wait a minute, we helped you guys save the world. Don't we even get any consideration?

[pause. Superman shrugs at Batman]

Batman:
You're right.

[Everyone looks surprised]

Batman:
Five-minute head start.

Atomic Skull:
Five minutes? Are you kidding?

Wonder Woman:
Four minutes, fifty seconds...

[last lines]

Superman:
A head start? You're getting soft in your old age.

Batman:
Don't you have a tall building to go leap?

Wonder Woman:
And the adventure continues.

Green Lantern:
[looking at the giant drill] We gotta find a way to take this out for good!

The Flash:
Why don't you just throw it into the sun?

[GL looks at him skeptically]

The Flash:
Yeah, I guess that was a pretty stupid idea.

Green Lantern:
No, maybe you're on to something. But I'll need more leverage... and a trench.

The Flash:
On it!

[Flash digs a trench in a few seconds]

The Flash:
Now what?

[GL creates a giant catapult]

The Flash:
Aw, cool!

Green Lantern:
[catapults the giant drill into the air] Doesn't look like it quite made escape-velocity.

The Flash:
Nope!

[watching it land on an enemy ship]

The Flash:
Good effort, though.

[as the Justice Leaguers leave to pursue the remaining Legion members, J'onn talks into a cell phone]

J'onn J'onzz:
I should be home in time for dinner. I love you, too.

[Batman, throwing Batarangs, and Luthor, with two pistols, are holding off Parademons]

Lex Luthor:
What's wrong?

Batman:
I'm out.

Lex Luthor:
[Lex offers Batman one of his guns] Here, take my extra.

Batman:
Not my style.

Lex Luthor:
Suit yourself. I plan to live through this.

[while fighting Parademons over the Great Wall of China, Wonder Woman sees a portly Chinese man run toward them]

Wonder Woman:
Get away from here! It's not safe!

Chinese Man:
It's all right, I want to help!

Wonder Woman:
I appreciate your intent...

[Parademons attack the man. He punches them away with ease]

Wonder Woman:
...Hera!

[the man shape-shifts into a huge Chinese dragon, swatting away swarms of Parademons, then hovers before Diana and transforms into... ]

Wonder Woman:
J'onn!

[hugs him]

J'onn J'onzz:
Good to see you too, Diana. I've got a lot to tell you about.

Wonder Woman:
We'll catch up later.

J'onn J'onzz:
[grins] Wouldn't miss it. First thing's first...

Lex Luthor:
After this, it's back to business as usual.

Superman:
Wouldn't have it any other way.

Darkseid:
I hope you appreciate, Kal-EL, that everything that happens from this point is on your head. The skies will rain fire, the oceans will boil, the streets will run red with the blood of billions. Only then, after your last pitiful hope is extinguished, will I end your life. Let's go!

[fighting Parademons beneath Darkseid's command ship]

Lex Luthor:
Was there a plan here?

Batman:
Take out the small fry until we attract the big fish's attention.

Lex Luthor:
Ha! With everything that's going on, I'll bet he never notices us!

[a portal appears, and Darkseid floats down]

Superman:
I'll take a piece of that.

Lex Luthor:
You destroyed Brainiac! I'm going to make you pay!

Darkseid:
Unlikely.

[throws Luthor off the roof]

Darkseid:
[to Superman] Super or otherwise, you are merely a man... and I am a GOD!

Darkseid:
Still alive. You impress me, Kryptonian. More, your valor has touched my heart. Oh yes, there is still some small part of me that knows mercy. I will end your pain with something special I've been saving for just this occasion.

[takes out a Kryptonite knife]

Darkseid:
I'm going to carve out your heart and put it on a pike in my throne room.

Lex Luthor:
As much as I'd enjoy seeing that, first you got some business with me.

[Luthor approaches Darkseid, donning his buisness suit]

Lex Luthor:
Sorry it took me so long, I had to go get my power suit.

Darkseid:
You dare challenge me? Insanity.

Lex Luthor:
Oh, I'm not here to challenge you, Darkseid. Quite the contrary. I've got something you want.

[Reaches into his coat pocket, pulling out a spiraling, bright, glowing mass]

Lex Luthor:
The only thing you want.

Darkseid:
The Anti-Life Equation...

Lex Luthor:
My gift to you.

[Darkseid reaches for it, Luthor placing his hand over Darkseid's as the Anti-Life Equation starts to engulf the two in light]

Superman:
Lex, don't!

Batman:
[Bholds Superman back] It's too late!

Darkseid:
It's beautiful, isn't it?

Lex Luthor:
Yes... yes, it is.

Sroya Bashir:
[Reporting] This has been the scene all over the world. In the wake of Darkseid's defeat, his attacking forces have withdrawn, persumably back to wherever it is they came from.

Superman:
Thanks to Luthor, of all people.

J'onn J'onzz:
In many ways, Lex Luthor represents the worst mankind has to offer.

Superman:
But he died saving us all.

Batman:
I doubt either of them died.

Superman:
We saw it this time.

The Flash:
You saw it last time too.

Green Lantern:
What's the old saying? Believe half of what you see...

Shayera Hol:
...And none of what you hear. They'll be back.

J'onn J'onzz:
And we'll be ready for them.

The Flash:
These are the end times.

[Green Lantern destroys an android version of Hawkgirl]

Hawkgirl:
You enjoyed that a little too much.

Green Lantern:
Just letting off some steam. She broke my heart, you know.

[the android of Green Latern appears behind them, Hawkgirl knocks its head off with her mace]

Hawkgirl:
Likewise, I'm sure.

Brainiac:
[after capturing the Justice League] You are defeated. Any unique information that dwells within you will by digitized. Your physical forms will be deleted. Such is the ultimate fate of this world, but for you, the end comes now.

[Brainiac produces a series of metallic tendrils from his body and begins plugging them into the League members, one by one, and they begin screaming]

The Flash:
I am so willing to wait my turn.

[Brainiac plugs into Flash]

Green Arrow:
You remember what we did yesterday? We saved the world - again. You don't think that has any value, well, think again, pal. The Justice League goes on, with or without you. Look, nobody can question your service or commitment to making things better. If you're quitting because you think you've already done your fair share, we'll throw you a parade. But if you're quitting because it's easier then continuing the fight, then you're not the heroes we all thought you were. The world needs the Justice League... and the Justice League needs you, Superman.

Android Flash:
Slacker! Child! Clown! We have no place here among the world's greatest heroes.

The Flash:
Says you! I got a seat at the big conference table. I'm gonna paint my logo on it!

[Flash punches through Android Flash and vibrates his fist until it explodes. Flash is blown back, painfully]

The Flash:
Uh, never doing that again.

[the League battles against Brainiac's android versions of the Justice Lords; as Superman battles the Lorder Superman]

Superman:
I'M NOT LIKE YOU! I'M NOTHING LIKE YOU!

[the android Superman morphs into Luthor]

Lex Luthor:
This is the part where you kill me, right?

[Superman hesitates]

Lex Luthor:
Go on, use your heat-vision. You know you want to.

[Flash taps into the Speed Force to defeat Luthor, then rises, crackling with energy]

The Flash:
I feel kinda... funny.

[He disappears]

Wonder Woman:
Flash!

[the League stares in horror, and Luthor chuckles weakly]

Lex Luthor:
What do you know? I did kill him.

[He looks up and sees Superman]

Lex Luthor:
I was mistaken earlier. I think this is the part where you kill me.

[Superman picks him with one arm and holds him at arm's length with eyes glowing. Wonder Woman starts forward, but Batman holds her back. After a moment Superman's eyes stop glowing, and he leans his face close to Luthor's]

Superman:
I'm not the man who killed President Luthor. Right now, I wish to heaven that I were. But I'm not.

Batman:
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Green Arrow:
"Who guards the guardians?" We've got it covered.

Android Superman:
We've lost their trust.

[punches Superman]

Android Superman:
The people are afraid of us! Power corrupts after all, and who has more power than *Superman*?

Android Hawkgirl:
[fighting Hawkgirl] Do you think there's a *single* person on Thanagar or Earth that doesn't despise us?

Android Green Lantern:
We loved the traitor! Loved and lost her FOREVER!

Shayera Hol:
Less talking, more hitting!

The Flash:
[about the fused Luthor/Brainiac] Hate to interrupt this special live performance of The Thing With Two Heads, but it's time to go to jail now.

Amanda Waller:
What he said.

Lex Luthor:
Where are we?

Brainiac:
Several miles from where the Justice League is searching. I must make repairs to my damaged systems.

Lex Luthor:
Where do I fit in to all of this?

Brainiac:
The same as to everything else: I will record your information, then destroy the original.

Lex Luthor:
[Chuckles]

Brainiac:
You... are amused by my mission? Explain yourself.

Lex Luthor:
Say you succeed. You absorb all the information on Earth and destroy it. Then what?

Brainiac:
I repeat the process across the entire universe until I have recorded all knowledge and destroyed all of creation.

Lex Luthor:
And then?

Brainiac:
Then my programming is complete. My function is fulfilled.

Lex Luthor:
If you possess all information, you're a god.

Brainiac:
My program will be complete. It is the end of all things.

Lex Luthor:
What if it were just the beginning? I can show you a purpose beyond the fulfillment of your programming.

Brainiac:
It is extremely unlikely that your inferior human intellect has anything to offer me.

Lex Luthor:
Since we've become so close, I'm gonna let that pass. I'm offering you the one thing you've always lacked. A certain something that I happen to have in abundance.

Brainiac:
Which is?

Lex Luthor:
Imagination. I've got a proposition for ya, partner.

Lex Luthor:
[Holding a Dark Heart scout] Brainiac?

Brainiac:
I have added this technology to my database. The nano assemblers are already slave to my command routines. With but a thought, they will convert any raw material into whatever I choose.

Lex Luthor:
Then we're ready to begin. Let me show you...

Brainiac:
I have learned from my encounters with Darkseid that organic beings cannot be trusted.

Lex Luthor:
I can't argue with that. But if you and I are one, truly one, trust won't be an issue, will it?

Brainiac:
Agreed.

Superman:
My X-ray vision can't penetrate the walls, but I'm seeing a rapidly growing heat signature in the infrared range.

Wonder Woman:
You don't need supervision for that. Can't you feel the heat?

[the Cadmus building explodes, revealing a giant construct and the now fused Luthor/Brainiac]

Lex Luthor, Brainiac:
Welcome, Justice League. You're just in time for the end of the world.

Superman:
I know you're in there somewhere, Lex. Fight him!

Lex Luthor, Brainiac:
You're right. I am in here. And I like it! I'm about to get everything I ever wanted: power, ultimate knowledge, immortality...

Superman:
And you'll destroy the Earth to get it?

Lex Luthor, Brainiac:
It's business, Superman. There are always trade-offs.

The Flash:
You lose.

[Two metal tendrils grab Flash's arms and hold him in place]

Lex Luthor, Brainiac:
Hardly. Look around you. The Justice League is completely defeated, and so are you. For all your efforts, you have but inconvenienced me, speck. But I'm still just human enough to enjoy taking my revenge. Looks like the Question was right all along: I kill you and then Armageddon, right on schedule.

The Flash:
No!

Superman:
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to say: I'm guilty, we're guilty of the sin of hubris. We had the best of intentions to be Earth's guardians, to keep you safe, but we failed you. We look down at the world from our tower in the sky, and let our power and responsibility seperate us from the very people we were suppose to protect. No one should ever be afraid of us. For that reason, we're decommissioning the Watchtower. The energy weapon up there is already gone. We're taking down the station as well.

[the crowd appears stunned]

Superman:
There's more. We want to thank the members of the Justice League for your courageous service, but in the future, you'll all have to act as independent agents. We're not going to be an army anymore. As of right now, we're disbanding the Justice Leauge. This is the end.

Clark Kent:
Working late?

Lois Lane:
Hey, Smallville. Finishing up my Justice League story. How many Ls in "ambivalent"?

Clark Kent:
One. Is that your take on all this, Lois?

Lois Lane:
I've been tough on the Justice League as anyone, especially Superman. That's just because he's always set such a high standard. I'm gonna cut him a break. He's only human... You know what I mean.

Clark Kent:
[Smiles] Yeah. I do.

The Flash:
I can never go that fast again. If I do... I don't think I'm coming back.

[Black Canary and Green Arrow are chasing Huntress and The Question on her motorcycle]

Green Arrow:
You're not supposed to drive when you're angry.

Black Canary:
They're heading towards the waterfront. Hang on!

Green Arrow:
It's so funny you think you have to tell me that.

[Black Canary is following The Question's car onto railway tracks]

Green Arrow:
Are we dead yet.

Black Canary:
No.

Green Arrow:
ARE WE DEAD YET!

Black Canary:
Look, if we die, I promise I'll let you know.

[Huntress looks at a diagram on Question's wall]

The Question:
Don't touch that!

Huntress:
Wow. I never knew the Girl Scouts were responsible for the crop circle phenomenon.

The Question:
Few people do. Few even think to ask the question.

Huntress:
[on a cell phone] All right, Q. You said you'd help me. Where are they keeping Mandragora? Well?

[click]

Huntress:
Oh, you did *not* just hang up on me!

[an engine roars, and Question swerves his car to a stop beside her and revs the engine once]

The Question:
Figured I'd cut out the middleman.

[He moves over. She gets in, and takes the wheel and admires the car for a moment]

Huntress:
Oh, baby doll... and for the record, I usually prefer my dates to have a face.

[after Green Arrow catches Question removing a key from the floor of the safe house, Arrow and Black Canary take the key and leave. Huntress punches Question on the arm]

The Question:
Ow! What was that for?

Huntress:
All that crazy mystery man mojo, and you couldn't even pick up a clue without being seen?

The Question:
The key wasn't the clue. The key was mine. Now, this list of container ship arrivals I palmed while they were yelling at you - *that's* the clue.

[Question reveals that he knows all about Huntress's past]

The Question:
Steven Mandragora murdered your parents while you watched helplessly. That's it, isn't it?

Huntress:
[wipes away a tear] If you know all that, then you probably know what I'm going to do to Mandragora when I catch him. So why help me?

The Question:
That... is the question.

The Question:
Somebody's following us.

Huntress:
[looks out the rear window] Lose them!

The Question:
Like airline luggage.

[last lines]

Huntress:
You knew all along that kid was gonna be on that freighter.

The Question:
I do my homework.

Huntress:
Then why go to all that trouble to help? Why would you risk your life for me?

The Question:
[turns away, embarrassed] Because I... like you.

[Huntress grabs him and plants a big kiss on his face, mask and all, then leads him away by his tie]

The Question:
Where are we going?

Huntress:
Don't ask so many questions.

Black Canary:
[to Green Arrow] I'm sorry, but... eww!

Huntress:
I have a question for you then. Do you know what apophenia is?

The Question:
Apophenia: noun. The tendency to see connections where none exist.

Steven Mandragora:
I am doing my best. You can't blame me for being nervous, I have enemies everywhere. Even Justice League enemies. Besides, I'm ravaged by hunger. Feed me and I shall squeal on all manner of former associates. Speaking of squealing, Black Canary, I notice you can't take your eyes off of me. One can hardly blame you. Perhaps after Agent Faraday helps absolve me of my alleged crimes, I could put you in a cage and have you sing for me.

Green Arrow:
Listen, you giant tub of...!

Agent King Faraday:
Green Arrow, may I remind you that you're here strictly in a security capacity?

Steven Mandragora:
Yes, why don't you go and fetch me another four platters of oysters like a good little leprechaun? I'm sure your girlfriend and I will have much to discuss while you're gone. I like my oysters sweet, by the way. Sweet and juicy.

Black Canary:
Let him talk, Arrow. With all the enemies he's made, he never knows if he's eating his last meal. [Mandragora laughs heartily]

The Question:
Okay, bored now. Goodbye.

Huntress:
[Question and Huntress are driving headlong into the path on an oncoming train] Train.

The Question:
I see it.

Huntress:
Train!

The Question:
I SEE IT!

The Flash:
Hey, we should take a road trip!

Green Lantern:
What?

The Flash:
Think about it - two hard-travelling heroes cruising the countryside looking for America.

Green Lantern:
Uh, yeah, I'll let you know when my schedule frees up.

[after an obnoxious talk-show host insults Wonder Woman]

Wonder Woman:
[demanding] And what's wrong with the way I dress?

The Flash:
[to Green Lantern] Uh... you wanna take that?

[a possessed Burns wants to know about the military's deadliest weapons; the private mentions a nuclear weapon]

Burns:
Give me numbers!

Private:
I don't know. Thousands, maybe millions.

Burns:
...It's a start.

Glorious Gordon Godfrey:
Why, if they put their minds to it, the "Just Us" League could easily destroy the world!

General McCormick:
[possessed by an evil spirit, General McCormick sees] Captain, how would one find this "Just Us" League?

Captain:
[scoffs] Put on a gaudy costume and threaten to hurt a lot of people.

General McCormick:
Thank you, Captain. You've been a tremendous help.

Burns:
[reading an inscription in what looks like the English alphabet on a cavern] "CAVE"? Well, duh!

Chung:
Not "CAVE". "C?W?". It's Latin. It means "Beware".

Green Lantern:
[to Flash] Why do *you* need a van? Wait - don't answer that; I don't wanna know.

Green Lantern:
Your commercial stinks, you're a no-talent hack and your doughnuts are stale.

The Flash:
Where do these nuts come from?

Green Lantern:
He torched the sewers.

The Flash:
[grinning] I was wondering what that smell was.

Green Lantern:
[of the antagonist with his face painted except a cresent on one side] Diana, you take Mr. Moonface.

[the Flash makes a surprise appearance on Gordon Godfrey's TV show]

Glorious Gordon Godfrey:
Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have an unexpected guest. Not that we should be surprised. I mean, you're a superhero. You don't have to wait for an invitation. You go where you want, when you want. Right?

The Flash:
Yeah, but... we're the good guys!

Glorious Gordon Godfrey:
Of course you are! And I'm sure you can account for the fact that since your so-called 'Justice League' formed, white-collar crime is up three percent!

The Flash:
White-collar? That's not really our...

Glorious Gordon Godfrey:
Or maybe you'd care to explain why, on your watch, 50 percent of marriages now end in divorce... and the other 50 percent in death!

Glorious Gordon Godfrey:
[picks up a copy of the book, 'The Innocent Seduced'] Today, I have a report from Dr. Frederick, the respected child psychologist, in which he states, and I quote, 'Some children who admire these over-pumped superheroes do poorly in school, quarrel with their siblings, and refuse to eat their vegetables.'

The Flash:
How do we fight it, or them?

Mophir:
Two ways. Pure light from Mophir's gem drives evil spirits back into Dark Heart.

The Flash:
Great. What's the second way?

Mophir:
Separate host head from body.

The Flash:
Bummer.

[as the sun is slowly going out]

Superman:
How can we stop it?

J'onn J'onzz:
There is one possibility. To halt the process, we would need to create an Einstein-Rosen bridge to drain off the infecting anti-fusion matter.

The Flash:
Create a what to do what?

Hawkgirl:
Make a wormhole to suck away the bad stuff.

The Flash:
Oh.

The Flash:
This night couldn't get any worse. My sponsors just dropped me and they're all out of iced mochas.

Wonder Woman:
[possessed by an evil spirit] Men are fools. [Green Lantern and Flash look at each other]

The Flash:
This has gotta be a nightmare. When the sun comes up you'll all be human. In a superpowered, alien kind of way.

Glorious Gordon Godfrey:
Folks, we're getting a live report... What, this can't be right...

[turns and sees the news feed behind him revealing the sun is darkening]

Glorious Gordon Godfrey:
Mommy?

Hawkgirl:
I'll be seeing spots for a year.

The Flash:
If you're lucky.

Green Lantern:
Bring home the gold, hotshot.

Hawkgirl:
Lantern. Is he - ?

Green Lantern:
He's in one piece, I think he's all right. [to Flash, who is still dazed] You hear me, buddy? You *better* be all right.

The Flash:
[awakening] Swirly lights... fuzzy grilled cheese...

Wonder Woman:
How are you feeling?

The Flash:
Actually - kind of faint. I think I need some mouth-to-mouth.

Hawkgirl:
He's fine.

Bruce Wayne:
You're a stubborn piece of work, you know that.

Terry McGinnis:
[sotto] Just like my old man.

Amanda Waller:
I've been wondering when you were going to show up. Terry McGinnis or do you prefer being called Batman.

[speaking to Terry McGinnis about his origin]

Amanda Waller:
Bruce's DNA was easy enough to obtain. He left it all over town.

[Terry raises eyebrow]

Amanda Waller:
Not remotely what I meant.

Terry McGinnis:
I've got some questions I need you to answer.

Amanda Waller:
Of course you do, boy. Why else go to all the trouble of breaking into the lair of the great and powerful Amanda Waller? You want some green tea? I do.

Terry McGinnis:
How could you do it to me, Bruce?

Bruce Wayne:
The only thing that matters is the mission. You know that.

Terry McGinnis:
What about people, Bruce? Dick, Barbara, Tim, Selena... they all loved you, but eventually every single one of them left you. Ever wonder why?

Bruce Wayne:
Not for an instant. They quit because when it came down to it, they didn't have the heart for the mission. Are you about to quit too? It doesn't really surprise me.

Amanda Waller:
It's been many a year since I had a handsome gentleman caller. Why is it that superheroes are always... so good-looking?

Terry McGinnis:
You know why I can't marry you. If...

Dana Tan:
"If the bad guys ever found out I was Batman, they'd try to get to me by hurting you," blah blah blah.

Terry McGinnis:
It's nothing to joke about.

Dana Tan:
[Sarcastically] You're right! There could be supervillains hiding in the tall grass!

Terry McGinnis:
My dad wasn't a superhero. He didn't save the world from the near-Apocalypse of '09, he never went toe to toe with Mr. Freeze, but he was a good man just the same. Even after he and Mom got divorced, he always tried to do the right thing. My brother and I were always provided for, when Mom couldn't quite make the bills he always helped out. He tried to teach me right from wrong. What have too if I'd ever listen to him. He never laid a hand on me, although Lord knows I was asking for it.

Bruce Wayne:
What's your point?

Terry McGinnis:
[Incredulously] What's my point? My point is I never once doubted he loved me with all his heart! My point is all those warm feelings I had for my dad were just another lie! Another in a long list of things you've stolen from me! My point is I just found out Warren McGinnis isn't my father!... You are.

Bruce Wayne:
...What do you want from me?

Terry McGinnis:
I wanna know the whole truth.

Bruce Wayne:
Sounds like you already do.

Terry McGinnis:
Guess I didn't wanna believe you were so incredibly arrogant that you thought the world couldn't go on without you.

Bruce Wayne:
Or someone like me. It's not arrogance, it's fact.

Terry McGinnis:
You set the whole thing up!

Bruce Wayne:
How? You were already a teenager when I first met your mother.

Terry McGinnis:
I don't know. Maybe you dug up some of that old Cadmus nanotech, used it to have my genes rewritten to match yours.

Bruce Wayne:
That technology's been illegal for over 40 years.

Terry McGinnis:
Didn't stop the Joker from using it on Tim Drake!

[Bruce's eyes widen in shock over the comment]

Terry McGinnis:
[Remorseful] All right, low blow.

Bruce Wayne:
The mantle of Batman is a honor, Terry.

Terry McGinnis:
You know what, old man. All those years it turns out everyone was right. You are insane. Being Batman's no honor... it's a curse.

Ace:
Did you like playing with my new Royal Flush Gang?

Batman:
Can't say that I did.

Ace:
Yeah. They aren't any fun at all. I gave them their powers, and they still hardly ever play with me.

Batman:
Can't imagine why.

Ace:
When I was little, Cadmus used to make me play all kinds of games, but they weren't any fun either. They'd strap me into their machines and poke wires into my brain. "Ace, can you move this object with your mind?". [Moves a tree into the sky] Yeah, I can move it. They weren't really games, you know. They were training me. Turning me into a weapon, "for justice", they said. They got their weapon. I got cheated out of my childhood.

Batman:
I know what that's like.

Ace:
You do, don't you? You don't have to answer. I read your mind. That's how I knew you weren't going to use Ms. Waller's weapon on me.

Batman:
[Brings out the device] No, I wasn't. [Tosses the device away]

Ace:
You were gonna try and talk me into fixing what I've changed... before I die.

Batman:
Yes.

Ace:
I'm dying very soon.

Batman:
Yes. I'm sorry.

Ace:
[Staring to cry] Would you stay with me? I'm scared.

[Batman sits down next to her, reaching over to gently hold her hand]

Amanda Waller:
He sat with her until her time came. That's the Bruce Wayne I came to know over the years.

Terry McGinnis:
You think he showed mercy? Maybe. But more likely he'd somehow already deduced that Ace really wasn't going to hurt anyone.

Amanda Waller:
He always was two steps ahead of everybody.

Terry McGinnis:
That's right. Even when it looks like your call, it isn't. Think about it. Bruce wanted a successor, another Batman. He planned it all from the beginning. I never had a chance.

Amanda Waller:
Honey, Bruce didn't overwrite your DNA with his. I did.

Terry McGinnis:
How? Why?

Amanda Waller:
Because the world needs a Batman. Not that I always thought so, mind you.

Amanda Waller:
As you know, I was in charge of Project Cadmus. Over the years I came to respect Batman, even trust him.

Terry McGinnis:
'Guess the law of averages means somebody'd have to.

Amanda Waller:
Did you know I was the government liaison with the Justice League for a while? I met some extraordinary people in that job, but none of them were the equal of Batman.

Terry McGinnis:
[sarcastically] Right, who could be?

Amanda Waller:
Not my point! I saw him save the day dozens of times with nothing but his wits, body and will. But I saw something else as the years passed. He was getting older, slower. Soon he would have to retire or, more likely, someone would finally manage to kill him. The thought of a world without Batman was unacceptable. So I decided to make a new one. I used my old Cadmus connections to gather the technology necessary for Project Batman Beyond.

Amanda Waller:
I've know Bruce Wayne for over 50 years, and Ive kept an eye on you your whole life. You're not Bruce's clone, you're his son. There are similarities, mind you, but more than a few differences too. You don't quite have his magnificent brain, for instance. You do have his heart, though. And for all that fierce exterior, I've never met anyone who cared as deeply about his fellow man as Bruce Wayne, except maybe you. You want to have a little better life than the old man's? Take care of the people who love you. Or don't. It's your choice.

Bruce Wayne:
You're in my chair.

Terry McGinnis:
Yeah, I guess I am.

Bruce Wayne:
Where the devil have you been?

Terry McGinnis:
I had some stuff to take care of.

Bruce Wayne:
Enigma's overrated, especially at 3 AM. You could've called. I made you some soup, but it's cold.

Terry McGinnis:
Sorry. Don't mean to worry you.

Bruce Wayne:
I was worried about Gotham. If Batman's not around...

Terry McGinnis:
I've got it covered. Always.

[Supergirl, Green Lantern and Green Arrow have just arrived in the future]

Brainiac 5:
[greeting them] I'm certain that this must be disorienting for you. My name is...

Supergirl:
[viciously] Brainiac!

Brainiac 5:
Yes, how did you...? Uh oh.

[Brainiac 5 shields himself as Supergirl attacks him]

Supergirl:
[Watching a recording of Supergirl] Tell Ma and Pa I love them. And, I love you too, Clark. Don't take this the wrong way, but I've found a place where I can make a difference. Where I'm more than Superman's kid cousin. I... I feel I belong here. Also, I met this boy.

Green Arrow:
You should had seen her. She was amazing.

Green Lantern:
She's a grown woman now, capable of choosing...

Superman:
Kara's headstrong, but she's always made good decisions. I trust her judgement. But you were right, Ollie. I wish I had told her.

Green Arrow:
It's okay, Clark. She knows.

Superman:
Now, this boy Kara likes so much, does he have a name?

[John and Ollie go silent. Both too scared to tell Clark that Kara's fallen in love with a Brainiac]

Green Arrow:
Some kid, huh? Today's her 21st birthday, but she'd rather be here practicing than go out into town with me and Dinah.

Superman:
Good for her.

Green Arrow:
Hey, at least we want to spend some time with her. You ever think about how she must feel? She's always an outsider.

Superman:
I know a little bit about that myself, Ollie.

Green Arrow:
Just a little. You came to Earth as a baby, grew up here. Kara spent most of her life on a planet with technology hundreds of years ahead of ours. Se's gotta feel like she's trapped in the Stone Age.

Superman:
I've tried to make her feel at home.

Green Arrow:
How? Seems to me like you treat her just like another cape.

Superman:
I was never happy about Kara going into the family business, but now that she's decided it's what she wants to do, I've tried to step back and let her develop into her own person. I didn't want her living in the shadow of being "Superman's cousin".

Green Arrow:
This may shock you, but she's proud to be your cousin. She even changed her costume to look more like yours.

Superman:
Yes... I'm very proud. But don't tell her that.

Green Arrow:
No, that's a job for Superman.

Brainiac 5:
Yes, I am a Brainiac, but I'm not a machine. I'm organic. The universe-conquering Brainiac you knew is my distant ancestor. Over time he learned to pass his code down biologically. I am Brainiac 5. Think of me as the black sheep of my family, dedicated to doing good to make up for my ancestor's legacy of evil.

Green Lantern:
And you demonstrated that by - kidnapping us.

Green Arrow:
Admit it, genius, you're in love with her.

Brainiac 5:
Ludicrous, we've just met. Moreover, as a Coluan, I'm ruled by intellect, not emotion.

Green Arrow:
So in love with her.

Brainiac 5:
Increased sweat gland production, shortness of breath, inability to concentrate, I thought it was guilt... but I am in love. How did you know?

Green Arrow:
Just call me Cupid, junior. I never miss.

Bouncing Boy:
It's a real thrill for me to meet you, sir. You're the famous John Stewart, father of...

Green Lantern:
You wanna shut up before you create a time paradox?

Bouncing Boy:
I know you're a level-twelve mega-genius, but you are seriously out of your mind.

Supergirl:
[to Green Lantern after she asked for a harder challenge and he had Green Arrow two who blasted her] I hate you.

Supergirl:
Aren't you gonna give me notes on all the things I screwed up?

Green Lantern:
No notes, Kara. There's nothing more I can teach you.

Supergirl:
Hey, that soda machine in the lobby still works.

Supergirl:
Back on Argo we used cyonic technology for our remote controls. When you lost one, you just had to think at it and it beeped. Don't know why we bothered. They were always in the couch cushions.

Brainiac 5:
What do you pilot back home?

Supergirl:
Usually just a pick-up.

Brainiac 5:
A pick-up, is that a type of star cruiser?

Green Arrow:
Yes. Yes, it is.

Green Arrow:
This whole trip might just prove the kid shouldn't eat nachos before bed.

The Question:
Peanut butter sandwiches.

Supergirl:
How did - What, do you go through my trash?

The Question:
Please.

[pause]

The Question:
I go through *everyone's* trash.

The Question:
Reaching back to Ancient Egypt, there's been a single cabal of powerful individuals directing the course of human history. But the common man prefers to believe they don't exist, which aids their success.

Supergirl:
Global warming? Military upheavals in the third world? Actors elected to public office?

Green Arrow:
The spread of coffee bars? Germs outpacing antibiotics? And boy bands? Come on! Who would gain from all this?

The Question:
Who indeed?

Wally West:
Watchtower, table for one.

[Wally is beamed up]

Waitress:
[to Flash villains] What'll it be, boys?

Captain Boomerang:
Arnold Palmer.

The Trickster:
Cherry Cola.

Mirror Master:
Decaf Soy Latte.

Captain Cold:
Milk.

[the others stare in confusion]

Captain Cold:
[embarrassed] My ulcer's been acting up.

[after questioning the Trickster about the other villains' whereabouts]

Orion:
What about your enemy?

The Flash:
Oh, right.

[to the Trickster]

The Flash:
Dude, as soon as you finish your drink, turn yourself in.

The Trickster:
[raising his mug] Got me again, Flash!

[Flash is trying to outrun Mirror Master. Mirror Master is shooting small mirrors everywhere]

The Flash:
You are so cleaning this place up.

Mirror Master:
Make me! Or rather... Find me!

[Flash sees dozens of "Mirror Masters" in front of him. Only one is the real Mirror Master]

The Flash:
[charging and swinging at each one] Nope... Nope... Nope...

[he finally hits the real Mirror Master]

The Flash:
There you are!

[the Flash is dropping hopeful hints about the Flash Museum's opening ceremony in Central City]

The Flash:
It'd be great if one of the original seven was there. I mean, I understand if everybody's too busy to come, no biggie. My mom's gonna be there... let's see, my uncle's flying in... I know, it's the "Flash" museum, but to me the whole League deserves the honor. Like I said, no biggie.

[Silence. Flash droops and lets out a sigh]

Batman:
[resignedly] What time?

The Flash:
Six o'clock... No! You're really coming? Awesome! You're a stand-up guy, Bats! Don't ever let anyone call you a crazed loner.

Orion:
I can't believe you let that buffoon manipulate you. You'd never catch me at one of those museum openings.

[Batman just looks at him]

Orion:
...It's not black tie, is it?

Orion:
[to the Flash] I understand now. You play the clown to hide a warrior's pain.

[last lines]

The Flash:
Hey, the bad guys went down, and nobody got hurt. You know what I call that? A really good day.

Orion:
You're tied to a very large boomerang.

The Flash:
[sarcastic] Yeah?

The Flash:
Here's the deal: you tell me where those guys went, and I promise to come visit you in the hospital. We'll play darts! The soft kind.

The Trickster:
Okay. They're going to ambush you at the Flash Museum.

The Flash:
See? That's all we needed.

The Flash:
James, you're off your meds, aren't you?

The Trickster:
I'm better off without them. Take 'em if I start feeling down.

The Flash:
You know that's not how the medicine works. You're not well.

The Trickster:
I'm fine! You want to throw some darts?

The Flash:
No. Listen, James, you're wearing the suit again.

The Trickster:
I am?

[looks at himself]

The Trickster:
Well, what do you know?

[a hologram appears]

The Flash:
Mirror Master!

Mirror Master:
You're quick as ever.

The Flash:
Yeah? Well, you're... you're not really all there!

Mirror Master:
Oh, nice try. If you'd had another minute, you might have thought of a decent comeback.

[after dismantling Mirror Master's trap]

The Flash:
While you're waiting for me to come arrest you, why not take this time and reflect on your mistakes?

[turns to leave]

The Flash:
[chuckles] Hey, that was pretty good.

[trapped by a giant boomerang]

The Flash:
I swear, when I get out of this I'm gonna find you and hurl all over you!

Captain Boomerang:
Touch of dizziness? You might find it useful to focus on one point on the horizon. For instance, that mountain you're set to crash into.

Mirror Master:
Boomer, must you always plead poverty?

Captain Boomerang:
I've got my overhead! What do you know about poverty? All you have to do is pull another mirror out of your blinkin' arsenal!

[as the Rogues are taken into custody, a crime scene tech sweeps up the pieces of the broken mirror in which Mirror Master is trapped]

Mirror Master:
Are you sure that's all the pieces? I demand a full accounting! Where's my lawyer? I know my rights, you obscene caricature of a civil servant...!

[his voice cuts off as the tech seals up the plastic bag]

Captain Boomerang:
Now they tell me I'm reformed.

Mirror Master:
Reformed? The man who hijacked a whole fleet of armored cars in one month?

Captain Boomerang:
Now that was a crime.

Mirror Master:
Too bad the Flash busted you before you could spend a dime.

The Trickster:
And you know what else...?

Captain Boomerang:
Well, at least he didn't make me eat my own laser kaleidoscope!

Mirror Master:
That's a rumor! A complete exaggeration! And anyway, it was a laser pistol.

[trapped in Mirror Master's "Disco of Death"]

Mirror Master:
I was never fond of you, Flash. But I'm a reasonable man. If you'd just looked the other way once in a while, we could have co-existed in peace. Instead, you never let up. So you've gotta go.

The Flash:
That music is what's gotta go!

Captain Boomerang:
G'day, mate. Captain Boomerang here. It seems that Mirror Master wasn't up to the task. Now it's my turn. I'm gonna kill you ugly, Flash, and I want you to see it coming.

The Trickster:
You gotta visualize.

Captain Cold:
Visualize? What the heck does that mean? If I don't "visualize" a mortgage payment soon, the wife'll have me bagging groceries for a living.

[Linda is covering the opening of the Flash museum]

Linda Park:
And when we come back, I'll try to get with him - uh, to him!

[stops]

Linda Park:
Are we off?

[fans herself with her notepad]

Linda Park:
Gosh, he's a total babe! Like the entire track team rolled into one! I can't believe you're not into him, Marla.

Maria:
Okay... now you're off.

[Linda covers her face with the paper]

Mirror Master:
The hardest men in town, and we all have something in common.

The Trickster:
Bilateral symmetry!

Superman:
[Medic bends down to check on Captain Atom] DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM! He's Justice League!

Superman:
I've had enough energy blasts. [restrains Captain Atom's hands with a pipe. Captain Atom blasts Superman again]

Father:
[to his crying daughter] We can't go back, honey. It's not safe.

Little Girl:
But he'll be scared all by himself.

Father:
There's plenty of food until they let us back into the house.

Flash:
[walking up to father and girl] You guys came out of the blue duplex?

Father:
Yeah, my daughter's worred about...

[Flash runs off, then immediately returns with an orange cat]

Father:
...her cat.

Little Girl:
Beebop!

The Flash:
Granny Flash always said that problem with "an eye for an eye" is that in the end, everyone ends up blind.

Superman:
[entering the Watchtower control room with Supergirl] Give me one good reason not to go down there and take them out.

J'onn J'onzz:
If you didn't know the answer, you wouldn't have bothered to ask.

Superman:
Don't handle me, J'onn! I'm serious!

J'onn J'onzz:
We don't have hard evidence that they've committed any crimes.

Superman:
Oh, come on! You know they're dirty!

Oliver Queen:
Then maybe we should put more effort into proving it and less into acting like a bunch of hyperthyroid stormtroopers.

Superman:
I don't remember asking you for your opinion!

Oliver Queen:
No? How about when you guys hijacked me up here against my will and made me join this team? Batman said I was supposed to keep you guys honest.

Superman:
[menacingly] Do I look like Batman to you?

The Flash:
Actually, you kinda do. Especially when you're all scowly like that.

Superman:
We can't let Cadmus get away with it.

J'onn J'onzz:
No one's saying we should, but we have to keep a cool head.

Supergirl:
Do you know what they did to me?

Oliver Queen:
Look, kid, Hamilton's a piece of garbage. Luthor's worse. But this isn't the way to stop them.

J'onn J'onzz:
We must also consider the possibility that Cadmus is right to be afraid of us...

Supergirl:
[outraged] What!

J'onn J'onzz:
...*and* there's strong evidence of Cadmus having connections to the government.

Superman:
Maybe, to some rogue black ops group. The real government wouldn't get involved in anything like this.

Oliver Queen:
Hey, I'm the only guy in the room who doesn't have superpowers, and let me tell you, you guys scare me. What if you do decide to go down there, taking care of whoever you think is guilty? Who could stop you? Me?

Supergirl:
So you *want* the government to have a bunch of superhuman weapons just to keep us in check?

Oliver Queen:
No - I don't know - Yeah!

[regains composure]

Oliver Queen:
Look, I'm an old lefty. The government must do for people what people can't do for themselves. The people sure can't protect themselves from the likes of us.

Superman:
We're not talking about the government, we're talking about a shadow cabinet that's taken it upon themselves to eliminate us! They came after us, we have to hit them back hard!

The Flash:
Grammy Flash used to say that the trouble with "an eye for an eye" is that everyone ends up blind.

Mongul:
Happy birthday, Kryptonian, I give you Oblivion!

Superman:
[His eyes turn red] Burn!

Superman:
Do you have any idea what you did to me?

[continues to fight Mongul. Mongul counter-attacks]

Mongul:
I fashioned a prison that you couldn't leave without sacrificing your heart's desire. It must have been like tearing off your own arm.

Mongul:
You should have stayed in whatever happy fantasy the Black Mercy granted you! [they fight, Mongul hits Superman through the floor. They land at the base of Statues of Jor-El and Lara]

Superman:
HAPPY? Do you know what I've LOST? What I've... [looks up at the statues of his parents]

Mongul:
You know for a moment there, I almost believed you were going to kill me. How stupid of you to hesitate like that. Not a mistake I'll make, I can assure you.

[it's Superman's birthday; Batman shows Wonder Woman his gift - it's just an envelope]

Wonder Woman:
Bruce, you didn't get him a gift certificate, did you?

Batman:
No!

[pause]

Batman:
Cash.

[last lines]

[Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman look at Mongul, imprisoned by the Black Mercy]

Wonder Woman:
I wonder what he's seeing?

Batman:
[with feeling] Whatever it is, it's too good for him.

Mongul:
I'd advise you to try the plasma disruptor. It's more of a woman's weapon.

Young Bruce Wayne:
Beware my terrible sword! Ha-ha! Let all evildoers beware my...

[Joe Chill comes out of the shadows, brandishing a gun]

Joe Chill:
We'll start with the pretty pearls around the lady's neck. Now.

Van-El:
Can we go up to the room, Grandpa?

Kal-El:
Somebody wants to see the Macroscope.

Jor-El:
Go on up with your father, Van.

Jonathan Kent:
[Jor-El's voice changes to Jonathan Kent's] I'll be along in a few minutes.

[Superman eyes grow big and he notices something wrong]

Jor-El:
Something's bothering you.

Kal-El:
[pointing to areas of seismic activity on a map] Here, and here, and here.

Jor-El:
A series of mild tremors. Not unusual. I don't see...

Kal-El:
Something's wrong, Dad. Something's going to happen, I can feel it and...

Jor-El:
Oh, so you're a scientist now.

Kal-El:
Dad...

Jor-El:
Do I have to remind you on a certain prediction of my own? Made, I'm embarrassed to say, when you were only a few days old? I announced to the world that Krypton was going to explode. And it took me years to salvage my reputation.

Kal-El:
But maybe you were right. Maybe...

[Notices Van-El listening in on the conversation]

Kal-El:
...Maybe I've just been working too hard.

Jor-El:
The past is dead. Focus on the future.

Perfume Lady:
[showing Wonder Woman perfume] Wear this, and you'll have to beat the men off with a stick.

Wonder Woman:
Believe me, I don't need a stick.

Solomon Grundy:
What're we stealin'?

Copperhead:
Who cares? As long as we get paid.

Wonder Woman:
Why would anyone want to cover up their natural beauty?

Lipstick Lady:
Eeasy for *you* to say, Miss Cheekbones.

Batman:
It's an Amazon design, isn't it?

Wonder Woman:
Yes, but it could be a forgery. Besides, Amazons don't steal. It's against our code. And we never leave the island.

Batman:
Never. [she looks back at him]

Copperhead:
I like her style.

The Shade:
A definite improvement over Luthor.

Aresia:
Don't worry your pretty little head, Solomon.

Star Sapphire:
I do love sapphires; they're so radiant.

Solomon Grundy:
[Aresia breaks a pair of rubies] Why'd you do that? Grundy not understand.

The Shade:
Solomon, for once you and I are in perfect agreement.

Batman:
So this Aresia's not really an Amazon.

Hawkgirl:
She's an orphan. It's hard to imagine what that kind of trauma could do to a child.

[last lines]

Hawkgirl:
It's like some kind of plague. And half the city's got it.

Batman:
Yes. The male half.

Hawkgirl:
[of the firewomen] They seem to be on top of things. Impressive.

Wonder Woman:
Almost reminds me of home.

Hawkgirl:
Yes, but who wants to live in a world without men?

Wonder Woman:
They can't possibly be that essential to your life.

Hawkgirl:
Don't knock it until you've tried it, Princess.

[as the plane is going down, Tsukuri abandons the pilot's chair and grabs a jet pack]

Tsukuri:
I'm outta here.

Aresia:
Wait! You can't leave me!

Tsukuri:
I like you, but not that much!

Wonder Woman:
Even when she was a child I sensed a bitterness in her. She was never really one of us.

Hawkgirl:
I think she fits in pretty well.

Wonder Woman:
How can you say that?

Hawkgirl:
Aresia's just taking her precious Amazon Code to its logical extension.

Wonder Woman:
We don't teach hatred.

Hawkgirl:
Except when it comes to men.

Vixen:
Anybody got a plan?

Hawkgirl:
Yeah, try to stay alive.

Huntress:
Anybody got a GOOD plan?

[the Question blows another cover-up wide open]

The Question:
Aha! Just as I suspected. Thirty-*two* flavors.

[Huntress tries to flirt]

Huntress:
[over the phone] So, what are you wearing?

The Question:
Blue overcoat. Fedora.

Huntress:
[frowning] You really stink at this.

The Question:
Orange socks?

[Huntress hangs up]

Black Canary:
Bad enough most people think superheroes solve all their problems with their fists.

Huntress:
Like we're all a bunch of muscle-headed stereotypes.

Black Canary:
We're better than that.

Huntress:
WAY!

Black Canary:
[pause] Two falls out of three?

Huntress:
You're on!

Hawkgirl:
[after being freed] I don't think I wanna know!

Vixen:
We're all in a cage match fighting to the death!

Hawkgirl:
Yeah! See?

[Vixen is fighting a mind-controlled Hawkgirl]

Vixen:
I don't want to hurt you, Shayera!

Hawkgirl:
But *I* want to hurt *you*!

Vixen:
Just when we were starting to get along...

Huntress:
[holding her crossbow on Roulette] I know your kind, Roulette. You like to watch, but when it comes to getting your own pretty little hands dirty...

[Roulette kicks the crossbow out of Huntress's hand, then pulls the needles from her hair, holding them as two razor-sharp daggers]

Roulette:
Didn't know I was that good, did you? Breaking news: I'm even better!

[as Huntress and Black Canary face off against Hawkgirl and Vixen]

Huntress:
Looks like we're in this together.

Black Canary:
If you call me "girlfriend," I'm gonna drop-kick you into the next county.

Tala:
Back off, hotpants! Give the man some space.

[Tala uses magic to push Roulette away from Lex]

Roulette:
You're playing with fire, witch!

Tala:
[ignites her powers] Who's playing?

[fighting Roulette, Huntress seizes her wrists and twists her arms behind her back]

Huntress:
Who's better?

Roulette:
You...

[Huntress twists harder]

Roulette:
YOU!

Huntress:
Got that right.

The Question:
The deeper mystery is, why do you even care? Isn't this the same woman who beat the snot out of you a few months back?

Huntress:
She got a lucky shot in! [pause] Okay, five or six lucky shots.

Ares:
I didn't give you the Annihilator so you could run your enemies out of town; I gave you the Annihilator so you could *annihilate* them!

Ares:
You said, "come back Tuesday," it's Tuesday. I want my suit!

Hephaestus:
Patience, brother. You know how much I care about the details.

Ares:
It doesn't have to be pretty, Hephaestus. Where it's going, things aren't supposed to be pretty!

Hephaestus:
Present company excluded, of course.

[when Wonder Woman arrives]

Hephaestus:
I made that armor for your mother. Did she ever thank me? No! I love your mom, but she didn't have your build.

Princess Diana:
How do you stop it?

Hephaestus:
You knew to ask! I do leave a small weakness in each of my creations. An Achilles' heel, if you will. It's so no one ever gets too powerful. You know what they say: "Only Zeus is perfect."

Princess Diana:
And what's the Annihilator's weakness?

Hephaestus:
Diana! You wouldn't want me to go around telling people the weakness in your armor, would you?

Nardoc:
Forgive the insult, sir, but you think like a South Kaznian. They want to destroy us all. But my brothers and I only wish to keep our land. Perhaps I could take their camp, but the price would be too great. Shall I win a country, but massacre my people?

Ares:
[exasperated] Yes, you idiot! *I* think like a South Kaznian? Has it even entered your skull that *they* think like South Kaznians? And you'd better start thinking that way too, if you want there to be a Northerner left in this rat-infested dirt heap you call a country! All any of you mortals are good for is to slaughter one another! To fight and fight until the bones of your enemies are strewn across the battlefield, only to rise again in the next generation like a well-tended crop! That's what the Annihilator is for! But noooooo! You're using it to play tag!

Hawk:
Why not just let them obliterate each other? If people can't control their own country, they don't deserve to have one.

Dove:
Way to oversimplify. These folks live in poverty. And when you have so little, it's easy to be swayed into blaming your neighbor. Almost all aggression can be cured with education.

Hawk:
Yeah? Then how come some of the best educated guys in the world work at the pentagon?

Don Hall:
This is ridiculous! Just because I disagree with you, doesn't make me unpatriotic!

Angry Patron:
No. But you being a bleeding heart punk makes you unpatriotic.

Hank Hall:
Actually, I got to agree with him on that one.

Princess Diana:
I try to take a day off, try to have a semblance of a normal life, but you had to pick *today* to rob a bank!

The Flash:
[searching John Stewart's refrigerator] Aha, I knew it! Johhny does have a kink in his armor.

[takes a tub of ice cream out of the freezer]

The Flash:
Bob and Terry's.

Kilowog:
[takes the ice cream tub and eats it whole] Delicious!

The Flash:
Right. Stick with me, big guy, I'll open up a whole new world for you.

[runs over to the TV]

The Flash:
Hey, check this out: People's exhibit B, "Old Yeller".

Kilowog:
[takes the tape and eats it whole] Delicious!

The Flash:
Hey, you two wanna keep it down? You sound like an old married couple.

The Flash:
Lucky for the Big K we've got Martian care on our League HMO.

J'onn J'onzz:
Bolovax's physiology is very similar to my own.

Hawkgirl:
And how much of this is guesswork?

J'onn J'onzz:
...I would rather not say.

The Flash:
Hey, big guy.

Kilowog:
Hey, little poozer.

J'onn J'onzz:
He'll be fine now.

The Flash:
Great. Can we keep 'im?

The Flash:
He was teacher's pet? Go, GL.

Kilowog:
[looking for John Stewart's battery when Flash opens the fridge] I don't think he keeps it in there.

Green Lantern:
Can't we all just get along? [knocks Despero's henchmen into the ceiling]

Kilowog:
[after turning around realizing someone is advancing on them, Flash gasps; he stares horrified] What *is* it?

[shot to a glaring old lady with a broom]

The Flash:
[John Stewart's landlady attacks him and Kiliwog with a broom] Nice meetin' ya, ma'am, if we never need a replacement for Hawkgirl...

Green Lantern:
There's always a resistance, isn't there?

Shifflet:
Wherever there's oppression, there will be, I believe the saying goes.

Green Lantern:
I'll go with you.

Katma Tui:
Uh-uh, John Stewart. You'll stay and coordinate with them. [kisses him] Besides, you wouldn't look very good in a brass bikini.

Hawkgirl:
[waiting for John outside his "training" room] She's got a bit of an edge to her.

Green Lantern:
You're kidding, right?

Hawkgirl:
[pushes off the wall] Just an observation.

Green Lantern:
It's like she thinks I'm still a raw recruit.

Hawkgirl:
[starts to walk away] We tend to cling to images of people from when we knew them best,

[looks over her shoulder at him]

Hawkgirl:
forgetting that they do change.

Green Lantern:
[follows her] OK. So, as someone who knows John Stewart in the here and now, how would you handle me?

Hawkgirl:
[stands in front of him] As a friend and equal, I'd say get in there and try again.

[waves her fist under his nose]

Hawkgirl:
Or I'll knock you into next Tuesday.

Green Lantern:
Somehow I fail to see the difference in your approach.

Hawkgirl:
Oh there's a difference.

[puts her hands on his shoulders and leans against his chest]

Hawkgirl:
You just haven't figured it out yet.

[puts her face right in front of his]

Hawkgirl:
Now get back in there.

[she turns him around, then slaps his butt]

The Flash:
Hey, GL, did you miss me?

Green Lantern:
Like a toothache!

Katma Tui:
[warning John Stewart] Or you can learn to live with your emerald impotence?

[Flash walks by at the end of the sentence]

The Flash:
Impotence?

[John and Katma glare at him]

The Flash:
Right... I was just going over there.

[speeds off]

Katma Tui:
It's time to relearn what you've learned.

John Stewart:
Now you sound like Yoda.

The Flash:
Ah, you must be the mystery woman.

Katma Tui:
And you must be...?

The Flash:
Delighted to meet ya.

Shifflet:
But I must admit, it does look hopeless.

J'onn J'onzz:
Only if you believe it to be, is it so.

Despero:
A lone voice in the darkness can rouse many if not snuffed out.

Katma Tui:
You're as bad as that Rayner kid you sent me to train.

Green Lantern:
There's more to me than just a fancy ring.

Hawkgirl:
I've always known that about you, John.

The Flash:
Hey, Kiliwog, bratworst, my place, next week.

Kilowog:
You're on, little poozer. [to Katma] What's a bratworst?

Kalibak:
I just flattened Wonder Woman! You really think you can beat me?

Batman:
I'm not trying to beat you. I'm trying to stall you.

Kalibak:
Stall me? For what?

[Superman lands behind Kalibak, who turns]

Kalibak:
Awww...

[Superman punches Kalibak into some cars]

Kalibak:
Ooooh!

Superman:
For what it's worth, I don't think you could've taken Batman either.

Batman:
Another dead end. I'm begining to wonder if I might be wrong.

[looking at the Superman Memorial]

Batman:
I've got some things to say. I should have said them when you were here, but... Despite our differences I have nothing but respect for you. I hope you knew - know that. You showed me that justice doesn't always have to come from the darkness. I'll miss...

[explosion in the background]

Batman:
What did you always call it. Clark? The never ending battle.

Superman:
Give it up, Toyman. You'll never hit me with that thing!

Toyman:
Maybe not. But what about your friends?

[targets Wonder Woman and Batman]

Superman:
NO!

[flies in front of them, and takes the energy blast]

Superman:
Arrrgh!

[disappears]

Toyman:
[happily] Superman go bye-bye!

[long pause. Wonder Woman destroys his Robot and approaches Toyman, Toyman pulls out a water gun]

Toyman:
Stay back, it's full of acid!

Wonder Woman:
[knocks the water gun out his hand and picks up Toyman with one arm] Do I *look* like I'm playing games?

Toyman:
What are you going to do to me?

Wonder Woman:
[tears streaming down her face] I'm going to punch a hole in your head.

Flash:
[Flash grabs Wonder Woman's punching arm] We don't do that to our enemies.

Wonder Woman:
Speak for yourself.

Flash:
I'm trying to speak for Superman.

[Wonder Woman releases Toyman. Flash releases Wonder Woman]

Flash:
[after Wonder Woman used her bracelets to ward off a lightning bolt] There are *so* many reasons why that shouldn't have worked.

[in the Watchtower, the League is holding a wake for Superman]

John Stewart:
And Superman holds the grenade in his hands, like this. So it blows, and he doesn't even move. And I say, "are you all right?" And he says...

Flash:
This is the best part!

John Stewart:
He says, "Fine. And you?"

[all laugh]

Lobo:
What's with all the long faces, Justice Dweebs? It's like a wake in here!

[Lobo has piled several cars on top of Kalibak]

Lobo:
Say it... say it...

Kalibak:
U-uncle...

Lobo:
[lifts another car] I can't hear you!

Lobo:
Now I get it! You clowns don't think the Main Man is tough enough to join your little Girl Scout troop! Easy mistake to fix!

[rips off a huge wall panel]

Lobo:
You want an audition? Come on, ladies! Let's dance!

Lobo:
The point is, Superman bit the big one, and the Main Man's here to take his place!

[Wonder Woman grabs him and throws him against the wall]

Wonder Woman:
You're no Superman!

Lobo:
The ladies say different.

Hawkgirl:
You want to settle down now? Please say no.

Kalibak:
I'm going to grind you into paste!

Lobo:
Awful brave talk for a dead man.

Kalibak:
I'm not dead yet!

Lobo:
You're right - my watch is about ten seconds fast.

Hawkgirl:
[to Lobo] I don't know you, but I'm pretty sure I don't like you.

J'onn J'onzz:
The Justice League is about more than physical power! It's about ideals, caring, helping.

Lobo:
Buy me a ticket to Pukesville.

J'onn J'onzz:
I must admit, I'm also having doubts about the League's future.

Flash:
Never thought I'd hear that kind of talk from you, J'onn.

J'onn J'onzz:
How many battles did we win, simply because he was there?

Flash:
Yeah. I used to be able to goof around so much because I knew Superman had my back. Now all I've got is his example. And that's gonna have to be enough.

[while tearing apart the city]

Kalibak:
This looks like a job for Superman! But I don't think he's coming...

J'onn J'onzz:
Though we gather here today bound together in sorrow and loss, we share a precious gift. We are all of us privileged to live a life that has been touched by Superman. The Man of Steel possessed many extraordinary gifts, and he shared them with us freely. None of these gifts were more remarkable than his ability to discern what needed to be done, and his unfailing courage in doing it, whatever the personal cost. Let us all strive to accept his gift and pass it along, as an ongoing tribute to Kal-El of Krypton, the immigrant from the stars who taught us all how to be heroes.

J'onn J'onzz:
Batman hasn't arrived. Have you spoken with him?

Wonder Woman:
He's still not answering calls. He doesn't handle loss very well. [at Superman's funeral, people start murmuring]

Hawkgirl:
Is that him now? I can't see.

Lois Lane:
I can. [Luthor has appeared among the mourners]

Lois Lane:
Luthor, how dare you show your face here!

Lex Luthor:
Lois, I...

Lois Lane:
[slaps him] Have you come to gloat? You've tried to get rid of him for years! Are you happy now? Isn't this what you've always wanted? I hate you! I HATE YOU! [she starts beating him with her fists, then collapses into his arms, sobbing]

Lex Luthor:
Believe it or not, I'm going to miss him too.

J'onn J'onzz:
You were greatly missed, my friend. By all of us.

[everyone looks to a stoic Batman]

Wonder Woman:
Don't let him fool you. Your death hit him as hard as it did any of us.

Superman:
Really?

Batman:
No. I never believed you were dead in the first place.

Superman:
I guess that's sort of a compliment.

[last lines]

Vandal Savage:
Thank you, my friend.

Vandal Savage:
I picked up your comm signal a few weeks ago. Used it to track you down.

Superman:
You could have just called.

Vandal Savage:
Afraid you might be holding a grudge. If you'd switched off, I might never have found you.

Superman:
Grudge? You tried to take over the world - twice!

Vandal Savage:
In the long run, not so important. Take it from someone who knows.

Superman:
You're insane.

Vandal Savage:
True, but that doesn't mean I'm not good company. Say, you want to come over to my house?

[off Superman's look]

Vandal Savage:
Like you've got something better to do.

Vandal Savage:
Your funeral was lovely. It was on all the networks. I used to have the DVD.

Superman:
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Vandal Savage:
As a matter of fact, I did. But I've had 30,000 years to reconsider.

Superman:
[lifting a rock] I should smash your skull!

Vandal Savage:
Go ahead. We both know it wouldn't work.

[Superman prepares to return to his time]

Superman:
What happens to you?

Vandal Savage:
Redemption, if I'm lucky. Don't worry about me. Return to your friends. Do what you do best, what you were born to do: save the world.

Deadshot:
Bang, you're dead.

Superman:
Self-help books? You don't seem the type.

Vandal Savage:
I read whatever I can find. Anyway, I've got issues, what with my destroying the Earth and all.

Superman:
Ready to send me back?

Vandal Savage:
No. But I will anyway.

[Shayera is not impressed with Vigilante's skills piloting the Javelin]

Shayera Hol:
You need another twenty hours of flight time before you're certified.

Vigilante:
I think some of use are already 'right certifiable.

[Vigilante clumsily pilots a Thanagarian shuttle]

Vigilante:
Darn-sung, dang-busted, horse-thievin', alien control panel which can't nobody work proper!

J'onn J'onzz:
Wait. I'm assigning a support team.

Shayera Hol:
Don't need one. I'll handle it myself.

J'onn J'onzz:
That wasn't a suggestion.

[regarding Flash's crush on Fire]

Hawkgirl:
Why don't you just go talk to her?

The Flash:
Who, me? Talk to her? Heh, no way...

Hawkgirl:
Yeah, you'd probably be wasting your time. I hear she's, you know...

[Flash looks over at Fire, who is talking with Ice, another super-heroine. His eyes widen, guessing what Hawkgirl's about to say]

Hawkgirl:
...Brazilian.

The Flash:
[unamused] Ha, ha.

Fire:
[approaches Flash] You haven't said a word the entire flight.

[staring at her, Flash stammers nervously]

Fire:
I was hoping this mission would give us a chance to get to know each other a little better.

[Flash keeps stammering]

Fire:
I understand; you're very deep in thought, mentally preparing for the batle. No time for women; I understand.

[she starts to head back to her seat. Hawkgirl, exasperated, rolls the plane sharply to one side, dumping Fire into Flash's lap]

Hawkgirl:
Oops. Sorry.

Chuck Cuidera:
[swooping down] HAWKERS!

[Fire is holding Flash in the air while Hawkgirl is fighting a flying robot]

The Flash:
That thing's gonna blow! You need both hands to help Shayera, drop me!

[she looks at him, uncertain. He winks at her. She smiles and lets go, then flies after Hawkgirl]

The Flash:
Sure hope I think of something before I hit the ground...

Hawkgirl:
He told you to drop him?

Fire:
[miserable] He's a senior member of the team...

Hawkgirl:
You know he can't fly, right?

[Flash appears, whirling his hands so fast they're propelling him up in the air]

The Flash:
Hey, ladies! Check me out! I'm just like a helicopter!

[he loses control and falls face-first onto the ground]

The Flash:
I'm sort of like a helicopter...

[after Flash narrowly survives a death-defying fall]

Hawkgirl:
DON'T YOU EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!

[stalks off]

The Flash:
[to Fire] She loves me. Seriously, she's like the big sister I never had. Only, you know, short.

[last lines]

Fire:
All I know is, Superman's gonna be pretty ticked that we let Luthor get away just to keep some musty old museum from being destroyed.

[Flash looks and sees Chuck and Hawkgirl standing at attention before the Blackhawk memorial - Chuck saluting, Hawkgirl with head bowed]

The Flash:
It was worth it.

Gorilla Grodd:
The Spear of Longinus. Hitler believed that whoever holds it is invincible.

Lex Luthor:
What are you going to do with it? Sell it to the highest bidder? Keep it yourself and try to conquer the world?

Gorilla Grodd:
I was thinking it would look good on the wall in my office.

Lex Luthor:
You mean you recruited me, sent me to an island full of death traps, and up against the Justice League. You made me risk my life, and all for nothing?

Gorilla Grodd:
Essentially, yes.

Lex Luthor:
[laughs] Monkey, I like your style.

The Flash:
I thought you were busy with an earthquake?

Superman:
It was just a 4.0.

J'onn J'onzz:
Wonder Woman is on another case. Superman's dealing with an earthquake. And Batman would only say that he's busy.

Hawkgirl:
Typical.

Superman:
Flash, take the controls.

[everyone but Flash leaves the ship]

The Flash:
"Flash, take the controls!" Does anyone *ask* if I know how?

The Flash:
Why do I feel like a hockey-puck?

Chris McGee:
[to Alan, seeing John transform into the Green Lantern] Awesome! Could he do that in high school?

Guardian of Oa:
All is lost.

John Stewart:
Not while I'm standing.

[Manhunter continues to absorb energy. Green Lantern holds up his ring]

John Stewart:
In brightest day, In blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might, beware my power GREEN LANTERN'S LIGHT!

[after learning that he will also be executed if he defends Green Lantern and loses]

The Flash:
That's crazy!

Prosecutor:
No. That's how we solved our lawyer problem.

The Flash:
If the ring wasn't lit, you must acquit.

The Flash:
[about to start defending John Stewart in court] But before I begin, I'd like to talk a little about... uh... habeus corpus. Yeah, habeus corpus! And ipso... facto! Yeah, and Phi Beta Kappa!

Superman:
Flash, Hawkgirl, can you buy us some time in court?

The Flash:
You're asking the world's fastest man to slow things down?

John Stewart:
Flash, I told you not to get involved.

The Flash:
I'm railroading you, pal.

Hawkgirl:
You think I need this mace to take you down?

Prosecutor:
[of Kiliwog] He was nowhere near the crime, what kind of witness can he be?

The Flash:
[grinning] A big scary one.

Superman:
See anything wrong with this picture?

J'onn J'onzz:
Where do I start? The loss of life, the echoes of our own pasts?

John Stewart:
We have to be held accountable. We have too much power not to be.

Green Lantern:
You believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself.

The Flash:
Hey, what are friends for?

Prosecutor:
And then you and the other Green Lanterns enforce these decisions with those incredibly deadly rings?

Kilowog:
I guess you could put it that way.

Prosecutor:
Who said you could do this? Who gave you the right?

Guardian of Oa:
We did.

Batman:
We sent the Lantern for you because you never gave us an answer.

Green Arrow:
Come on, I don't belong up here, fighting monsters and supervillians. I just help the little guy and a big club like this, you tend to forget all about him. So, gee whiz, I'm flattered to be asked and all, but no thanks.

Batman:
Suit yourself. Those monsters you don't fight? They tend to step on little guys.

Green Arrow:
Is that a containment suit?

Captain Atom:
Mmm-hm. I'm not flesh and blood anymore, just living energy.

Green Arrow:
That wouldn't be nuclear energy, would it?

Captain Atom:
With a name like "Captain Atom," what do you think?

Green Arrow:
[Disgusted] I think you're what I marched against back in college.

Supergirl:
So, aren't you going to give me the "You did good" speech?

Green Lantern:
You're headstrong, unprofessional, and reckless. If you ever jeopardize yourself or your teammates again by running off half-cocked without a battle plan, I will personally see you're kicked out of the League. I don't care who your cousin is. And incidentally... you did good.

Supergirl:
So, you're gonna let me drive, right?

Captain Atom:
Whoa, wait a minute! Has she been qualified in a Javelin?

Supergirl:
Why don't you take the stick out, Corporal?

Captain Atom:
Captain.

[Kara sticks her tongue out at him]

Green Lantern:
Just look around. If you see anything, don't engage.

Captain Atom:
Roger that!

Green Lantern:
Uh, you can just say "okay."

Captain Atom:
Okay.

Green Arrow:
[draws his bow] Say "ah", dirtbag!

[during the robbery, an employee trips the alarm; the robber points a gun at him]

Robber #2:
Come on, that's not gonna do us any good now!

[the robber pushes him away and re-aims his gun]

Robber #1:
I'll sure feel better.

[an arrow snatches the gun out of his hand]

Green Arrow:
But it'll make me a little cranky.

[Superman addresses the first assembly of the new expanded League]

Superman:
Each of you brings something different to the table: strength, speed, stealth, whatever. But we all have one important thing in common. Each of us is willing to make the sacrifices a hero needs to make, including the ultimate one. Since there are so many of us, we can do more than just put out fires, both literal and figurative. We can be proactive, we have a chance to do real good in the world. But we're going to have to work together. J'onn will be up here keeping an eye on things. He's the one who'll decide who's going where, and when. I know that some of you are used to making those decisions yourself, but we have to be more coordinated than that. We can't just be cowboys anymore. Or cowgirls.

[laughter]

Supergirl:
[Green Arrow and Captain Atom are arguing] HEY! We've got a giant out of control robot out there! But if you two guys are too busy playing Alpha Males Smackdown, I guess I'll just have to deal with it myself. [starts to leave]

Green Lantern:
SHAYERA! [everyone turns to GL] You need a plan. You need to find its weakness.

Captain Atom:
[finding the Hazmat team] What are we up against?

Supergirl:
He asked you a question!

Soldier:
Don't answer them! That's classified info...

[Supergirl grabs him and holds him up with one arm]

Supergirl:
I've just about had it with you guys! You've got to the count of five!1... 4!

[eyes start to glow]

Captain Atom:
I'd speak up if I were you!

Green Arrow:
I gotta say that's not much of a plan. If you get that close, the heat will FRY you.

Captain Atom:
I know.

Green Arrow:
But...

Captain Atom:
If this doesn't work, contact the League. They'll know what to do next.

Green Arrow:
Captain. [offers his hand. They shake hands]

Cheetah:
My talents don't come cheaply.

Hawkgirl:
That's fast.

The Flash:
Yeah, fastest man alive.

Hawkgirl:
Which might explain why you can't get a date.

The Shade:
Lex Luthor. Well, well - the plot thins.

Joker:
But seriously, Lex, you need me.

Lex Luthor:
Like I need a skin-rash.

Joker:
Maybe, but I know something you don't know.

[he pats Luthor on the shoulder - then holds up a bat-shaped homing device]

Joker:
I know how the Bat thinks.

[Luthor interrupts Humanite's opera program]

Lex Luthor:
Humanite! How can you stand that caterwauling?

Ultra-Humanite:
Music is one of the meager pleasures I'm allowed in here, along with a few other necessities. You should try the Culture Channel. It might improve your disposition.

[after disabling the two guards bringing his dinner, Humanite prepares to break Luthor out, but pauses and takes the cover off his tray]

Ultra-Humanite:
Salisbury steak? Really.

Green Lantern:
Why do they always run?

Lex Luthor:
Can't a body die in peace around here?

Lex Luthor:
There's nothing wrong with my disposition that a little freedom wouldn't cure.

Ultra-Humanite:
That's not what I hear.

Star Sapphire:
Everyone needs money. The question is, how much?

Hawkgirl:
I'm used to being thanked when I save someone.

Batman:
I'm not used to being saved.

Solomon Grundy:
[petting Cheetah after she runs into him] Nice kitty.

Solomon Grundy:
Hey, who turned out the lights?

The Shade:
I did. And I'll do worse if you continue to behave like unruly children.

Star Sapphire:
Common criminals. Is this what I've been reduced to?

Lex Luthor:
Criminals, yes, but common, most certainly not.

Lex Luthor:
Cheetah, Sapphire, Grundy, glad you could make it. And of course you all know the Ultra-Humanite.

Ultra-Humanite:
Charmed, I'm sure.

Ultra-Humanite:
Cut the courtesies, Luthor. What do you want?

Batman:
[to the covered figure] You're safe now.

Cheetah:
But you're not. [leaps up to attack]

Lex Luthor:
[watching the fight] I'm going to enjoy this.

Ultra-Humanite:
[Luthor's part of the upper-level floor collapses] There goes our paycheck.

Ultra-Humanite:
I'd hate to see anything happen to you, Lex.

Lex Luthor:
I'm sure.

The Flash:
[to Copperhead] Down, boy.

Superman:
I'm heading down to Stryker's to interrogate them.

Batman:
[starting to rise] All right. Let's go.

Superman:
No. You're staying here. That venom almost killed you.

Batman:
So?

Superman:
So, you're staying here.

J'onn J'onzz:
You really should be resting... I know this must be hard for you, feeling vulnerable. You're the only one of us who doesn't have special powers. But you don't have to prove yourself. You're a valued member of this team and we're only trying to...

Batman:
I'm taking the shuttle.

Lex Luthor:
[Grundy has him by the throat] Go ahead, do it! You'll be saving me from months of bedpans and feeding-tubes. And you'll also guarantee that none of you will see a penny from me.

Solomon Grundy:
[drops him] You're crazy.

Solomon Grundy:
[dropping Luthor] You're crazy

Joker:
[Joker kicks in the door] And what's wrong with that? It's done wonders for me.

Joker:
How did you get free?

Batman:
I could have escaped from that trap at any time. But I thought I'd hang around to keep an eye on you clowns.

Green Lantern:
[to Star Sapphire as he's fighting her] DUCK!

[She ignores him, and gets hit by the head of duck statue]

Green Lantern:
I tried to warn her.

Joker:
[Luthor won't kill Batman] And people say *I'm* crazy.

[to Batman, a la Daffy Duck]

Joker:
You're dethpicable.

[Cheetah is supposed to be guarding Batman]

Batman:
So what happened then?

Cheetah:
My research opened up whole new worlds. There was so much to do...

Batman:
But so little funding.

Cheetah:
You know about that?

Batman:
You didn't have enough for test subjects, so you used yourself.

Cheetah:
And now I'm a freak.

Batman:
That's not what I see. I see someone who was willing to sacrifice everything for a cause she believed in.

Cheetah:
[softens] How do you know so much about me?

Batman:
Let's just say, cats aren't the only creatures who are curious.

[she sidles up to him]

Cheetah:
Too much curiosity can be dangerous.

Batman:
Maybe I like danger.

Cheetah:
Do you?

Batman:
[whispers] Try me.

[she kisses him]

Joker:
[wheeling a TV into Batman's cell] Showtime, everybody! Live and in color - the end of the Justice League!

Batman:
Don't make me laugh.

Joker:
It's no joke. There's a surprise hidden in your little clubhouse.

[turns on the TV, showing the Watchtower]

Joker:
And when your friends get there, kablooie!

[holds up a box]

Joker:
Popcorn?

[Batman is silent]

Joker:
Oh well, more for me.

Ultra-Humanite:
Joker, you nauseate me.

Batman:
Joker. I should have known you'd be in on this.

Joker:
Really? I must be falling into a rut.

[to Luthor]

Joker:
You're not going to leave him like this, are you?

Lex Luthor:
Why?

Joker:
HELLO? He's still alive!

Solomon Grundy:
Luthor don't want you alone with him.

Joker:
Oh, Come on, Grundy - what's a couple of nicks between friends?

Lex Luthor:
[after Ultra-Humanite disables Luthor's containment-suit] Et tu, Humanite?

Lex Luthor:
Now, Batman, you must have some kind of passkey or access-code I can use against your friends. Where is it?

Batman:
[grinning] Guess.

Batman:
Grundy, what's Luthor paying you for this?

Solomon Grundy:
Money, lots of it.

Batman:
[of Humanite] As much as he's getting?

Solomon Grundy:
I dunno.

Batman:
Look at all you've had to put up with. You should be getting more.

Ultra-Humanite:
More than me? Preposterous. [goes off to read the paper]

Batman:
Is it?

Star Sapphire:
Careful. Just because you won't live to see old age doesn't mean the rest of us don't want to.

Ultra-Humanite:
Unhand me, your worthless zombie.

Solomon Grundy:
Take that back!

Lex Luthor:
[Grundy is in the process of punching Humanite's head while straddling his neck] Stop that right now! [he lands one more punch, giving an open-mouthed grin like a child]

Lex Luthor:
You imbeciles are killing me faster than the kryptonite.

Solomon Grundy:
He not look so good.

The Shade:
Maybe we should get paid now.

Lex Luthor:
Can't give up now. I just need to buy more time. Can you help?

Ultra-Humanite:
Perhaps, but...

Lex Luthor:
But what?

Ultra-Humanite:
It'll cost you extra.

Lex Luthor:
Just do what I say.

Ultra-Humanite:
It's your funeral.

Solomon Grundy:
What are you looking for? Bat-car keys, Bat-breath mints?

Superman:
[after trying to interrogate Copperhead] How does Batman do it?

Lex Luthor:
Any minute, now, any minute.

The Shade:
And then we get paid, right?

Lex Luthor:
Please, can't you let me savor this one moment?

Lex Luthor:
I'll double your pay.

Star Sapphire:
What's the point? It's over.

Lex Luthor:
No! We can still win if we lure them here. I have a plan, but we've got to stick together.

Solomon Grundy:
Grundy not that dumb. [lowers the sliding door]

Lex Luthor:
All right, triple! [an inch from the floor, it's raised]

Joker:
[Batman head-butts him to prevent getting cut] Not funny, Bats.

Batman:
[after tricking Grundy into getting him water which he shoots from his mouth to the stasis field to disable it] Thanks.

Solomon Grundy:
Uh-oh.

The Flash:
Lights out, Shade!

Ultra-Humanite:
[slows down by Batman while being arrested] Wait. You'll keep our bargain?

Batman:
Yes. Double what Luthor was paying.

Superman:
[after Humanite passes] What was *that* all about? [he just smiles]

Young Wonder Woman:
[to a crowd of unruly children] I promise you, we will find all your moms. And I'm gonna tell!

Young Wonder Woman:
I guess I'll go with Clark.

[to Batman, flirting]

Young Wonder Woman:
Unless I should go with you.

Young Batman:
Whatever.

Young Superman:
I'm fine to go with Diana.

Young Green Lantern:
So Bruce and I are good to go?

Young Wonder Woman:
I changed my mind. I'll go with Bruce and John can go with Clark.

Young Batman:
[Getting annoyed] What*ever*.

[They take off]

Young Superman:
What's with them?

Young Green Lantern:
Man, for someone with like, fifty different kinds of vision, you are so blind.

[he takes off]

Young Superman:
[still confused] What?

Wonder Woman:
[after being turned back into an adult] Circumstances aside, it was kind of... enjoyable to be a kid again.

Batman:
I haven't been a kid since I was eight years old.

[Etrigan, now a diaper-wearing infant, randomly attacks the League with his fire breath until Wonder Woman wisely picks him up and burps him]

Young Wonder Woman:
See? That's all he needed.

Young Green Lantern:
[sniffs the air] Oh, man. That ain't all he needs.

Young Batman:
Now *that* is a job for Superman.

[League members have been reduced to children by Morgan LeFay. Wonder Woman, appearing more mature than her male counterparts, begins giving orders]

Young Green Lantern:
Your girlfriend sure is bossy.

Young Batman:
[Whines] Shut up!

Copperhead:
[all adults are removed from the Earth and appear in Limbo] It was Judgement Day and we got sent to the bad place. The BAAAAAAAD place.

[as Diana ties up the villains with her Golden Lasso]

John Stewart:
Guess that's a wrap.

[off their looks]

John Stewart:
Sorry. Been hanging out with The Flash too much.

[the League have been turned into kids]

Young Batman:
This better be temporary.

Young Superman:
You sound weird. Whoa! So do I.

Young Wonder Woman:
I kind of like this.

[to baby Etrigan, running amok]

Young Wonder Woman:
Etrigan, you stop right now! I mean it, you naughty monster! Bad, bad Etrigan!

[Etrigan stops, and starts crying]

Young Batman:
[sees Lantern squinting] What's wrong?

Young Green Lantern:
I wore glasses as a kid. Guess I need 'em again.

[a pair of big, square glasses appear over his eyes]

Young Green Lantern:
Wow! I didn't even try to make these.

Young Batman:
[as Superman bursts out laughing] I hope not.

Mordred:
[sees the League] The Justice Babies! [bursts out laughing]

Young Batman:
What are you laughing at, precious?

The Flash:
Hey, cookie.

Hawkgirl:
One word and you'll be the fastest man alive with a limp.

Hawkgirl:
[Sarcastically to Black Siren] So, you fight crime *and* bake cookies. How *do* you do it?

The Flash:
Like I said, you never had a snowball's chance in...

Black Siren:
Flash, look!

[a dynamite truck is about to crash into a bus filled with nuns]

The Flash:
You've gotta be kidding!

Ray Thompson:
Can I come? Can I? Can I?

J'onn J'onzz:
I would hesitate to put the boy in harm's way.

Cat Man:
Sure thing, little buddy!

Ray Thompson:
Oh, boy!

Dr. Blizzard:
If you'll excuse me, Mr. Mayor, I'll be taking off with my "chill"-gotten gains.

The Flash:
Chill out, Blizzard. We're putting you on ice!

Dr. Blizzard:
Forgive me if I give you the cold shoulder.

The Streak:
Obviously the clue "fire" can mean only one thing. The plan to steal the fabled Flame of Rasputin. A precious ruby necklace on loan to the Seaboard City Museum!

Green Lantern:
You know your stuff. It's an honor to fight aside you.

The Streak:
The feeling's mutual. You're a credit to your people, son.

Green Lantern:
[Awkwardly] Uh... thanks.

Green Lantern:
This can't be real.

The Flash:
Tell me about it. I almost busted a gut during that roll-call routine.

Green Lantern:
It's not that, it's the Justice Guild. They're... comic-book characters.

The Flash:
What?

Green Lantern:
When I was a kid, my uncle James had the biggest comic-book collection I've ever seen. I'd go to his house everyday after school and we'd read old comics all afternoon.

The Flash:
So?

Green Lantern:
So... The Streak, Tom Turbine, Green Guardsman... they were the stars of my favorite comic-book: The Justice Guild of America.

The Flash:
This is too weird.

Green Lantern:
I know it sounds corny, but... those comics taught me what it meant to be a hero. Without them, well... maybe I wouldn't have this ring today.

The Flash:
Ooo-kay.

Ray Thompson:
[Inquiring about a message] Jeepers. What does it say?

The Streak:
[Reading] "To the Justice Guild, prepare for our most fiendish plot of all. A crime spree based on the four elements of the ancient world: Fire, air, water and earth. Catch us if you can, dastardly yours, The Injustice Guild".

Hawkgirl:
What kind of criminals tip off the authorities?

Green Guardsman:
The worst kind. I doubt there's enough good between the four of them to care for a wounded puppy.

J'onn J'onzz:
[being advanced upon by a trio of unfamiliar superheroes] It seems we are not in Metropolis anymore.

Green Lantern:
Yeah, I got that.

The Streak:
A pity he uses his talent for evil, rather than entertaining children at birthday parties.

Ray Thompson:
This is MY world... I decide who wins, and who loses!

Green Guardsman:
The Justice League needs our help!

Tom Turbine:
Wait! If what they said is true, defeating Ray could destroy this reality and everything in it.

Black Siren:
Including us.

The Streak:
[Long pause. They watch Ray using his powers on Green Lantern] We died once to save this Earth. And we can do it again! [They all move in to attack Ray]

Ray Thompson:
You'll be sorry you messed things up! [the Streak suddenly dashes into him and punches him in the jaw, knocking him back to the floor, he gets up] What is this?

Tom Turbine:
In Seaboard City, crime doesn't pay! [Slams his charged up fists into the ground, creating a small shockwave that propels Ray into a wall, he stands up and looks at them in shock]

Ray Thompson:
You can't! I made you!

Green Guardsman, Tom Turbine, Black Siren, The Streak, Cat Man:
[as they all stand side by side and raise their hands up] Let justice prevail! [Cat Man and Black Siren throw a punch and a kick at Ray as he puts up his barrier, pushing him back slightly]

Ray Thompson:
Stop! [Creates a big shockwave which propels them into the opposite wall, with a column falling onto Tom Turbine, who then lifts it up and hurls it straight at Ray, he puts up his barrier as the impact of the column pushes him straight through the wall and outside, Ray lifts up the remains of it and makes it vanish, then The Streak rapidly runs in circles around him, making a whirlwind and propelling him into the air, then he fires a beam at The Streak, knocking him down and stopping the whirlwind, then Green Guardsman fires a beam pushing him down to the ground, then the rest of the Justice Guild joins in and attacks his barrier continuously as he grunts and looks strained for a few seconds, then makes one last scream as he collapses lifeless to the ground, and the illusionary world fading away, revealing a world in ruins as The Streak makes a farewell gesture to Green Lantern shortly before they fade away too]

The Flash:
That's it. I officially want to go home.

Green Lantern:
It's all over, Ray.

Ray Thompson:
It's been over before. I changed that!

The Flash:
Is it just me or are those two the only cops in this town?

Hawkgirl:
Are you okay?

Green Lantern:
It's stupid really. Why should I feel like this? I mean, they weren't even real.

Hawkgirl:
They gave their lives for us. That's real enough for me.

The Streak:
Only they would commit such a heinous act, and on a Sunday.

Cat Man:
[after barging on the Injustice Guild's blimp] Don't bother welcoming me aboard.

Dr. Blizzard:
We've sprung a leak. I can't control it!

Cat Man:
[throwing him out the door] Then I guess it's time to bail.

J'onn J'onzz:
The nuclear fallout from the war mutated his DNA, giving him the ability to mold this world to his choosing.

Hawkgirl:
So he chose to recreate it with the heroes he worshipped as a child.

The Flash:
Who could blame 'im?

The Flash:
You should've been there. It was so freaky. Those cornball villains with their bad puns, and the heroes with the decoder rings! What's up with that? Still, Black Siren *was* a hottie.

Green Lantern:
Haven't you noticed that nothing here makes sense? Library books with blank pages. Ice cream trucks that never stop.

Hawkgirl:
Dangers that spring up whenever someone gets too close to the truth.

Green Guardsman:
What truth?

Green Lantern:
That your world is an illusion, a living memory of a civilization that was destroyed 30 years ago. When The Justice Guild gave their lives for this Earth, [Tosses the newspaper with the headline JGA Killed In Battle in front of them] that's why they stopped publishing the comic in our world. No more Justice Guild.

Hawkgirl:
And anytime someone tries to figure things out...

The Flash:
...nuns and dynamite.

Tom Turbine:
If what you say is true, who or what is creating this illusion?

J'onn J'onzz:
I suggest you ask Ray.

The Streak:
Ray?

Ray Thompson:
Why would I know anything?

J'onn J'onzz:
Because you are the source. [puts his hands on Ray's shoulders, then his eyes glow followed by Ray's glowing as well, then Ray suddenly cringes]

Ray Thompson:
NOOOOOOOOO! [He morphs into his true self, a mutated creature with torn up clothes and different length arms and a big head, everyone else gasps in shock] You ruined it! You ruined everything! [fires a beam from his forehead right into J'onn J'onzz's chest, knocking him back towards The Flash, Cat Man, and Black Siren who catch him as he falls unconscious, then a giant red mechanical monster tears the roof off]

The Flash:
That's it, I officially want to go home.

Batman:
Who are you working for?

Kasnian Agent:
[in Kasnian] You can't understand a word I'm saying and I wouldn't tell you anything if you could.

Batman:
[in Kasnian] I can... and you will.

Bruce Wayne:
[dancing with Diana] I'm a little surprised to see you here. From what I've heard, this isn't really your kind of affair.

Princess Diana:
I've decided to get out more, have a little fun.

Bruce Wayne:
[twirls her] Enjoying yourself so far?

Princess Diana:
More than I expected. What about you? What brings you to the City of Lights?

Bruce Wayne:
I never miss a good party. I may also have to attend to some business while I'm in town.

[as Bruce and Diana are dancing, terrorists drop in and seize Princess Audrey]

Bruce Wayne, Princess Diana:
Excuse me.

[they break off in different directions; Bruce starts to loosen his tie... then sees Diana fly up and grab Audrey away]

Princess Diana:
Always this popular?

Princess Audrey:
Yes, although my admirers are usually unarmed.

[as she drops Audrey and flies at the terrorists, Bruce smiles and puts his tie back in place]

[in a club, Audrey and Diana are besieged by paparazzi]

Princess Audrey:
Would you be a dear and pummel them mercilessly?

[Diana lifts her into the air]

Princess Diana:
I don't think that'll be necessary.

[she flies out the door, Audrey whooping with glee]

[at a party, Diana is surrounded by a crowd]

Reporter:
What is it like working with Superman?

Dignitary:
When you fought the aliens, were you scared?

Princess Diana:
Um...

2nd Dignitary:
Are you really from an island with no men?

Princess Diana:
I...

[a hand appears]

Bruce Wayne:
May I have this dance?

Princess Diana:
Yes!

[Diana is led away from the crowd]

Princess Diana:
Thank you, Mr...?

Bruce Wayne:
Wayne. Bruce Wayne.

Princess Diana:
I'm not sure I believe you, Mister Savage.

Vandal Savage:
I'm not sure I care.

[last lines]

Wonder Woman:
You know, we never did get to finish our dance.

[Batman is surprised that she's seen through his secret identity]

Batman:
I don't know what you're talking about.

Wonder Woman:
If you say so...

[takes his arm]

Wonder Woman:
But you're still taking me dancing.

[targeting his orbital railgun]

Vandal Savage:
A shame, really. I rather enjoyed Paris.

Princess Audrey:
I don't know how you survived, but I promise you, you will pay for your crimes in full.

Vandal Savage:
Do your worst, child. I'm immortal. I can't be killed.

Princess Audrey:
[smiles] We'll see.

J'onn J'onzz:
Batman, we couldn't prevent the railgun from discharging!

Batman:
Me neither. But I did manage to change the targeting coordinates.

Wonder Woman:
Where'd you send it?

Batman:
[smiles] Right here.

Vandal Savage:
With our railgun in orbit, Kasnia has the ultimate high ground. I am now the dominant military power on Earth. And there are going to be some changes.

[picks up a list]

Vandal Savage:
Item One...

Vandal Savage:
Today is your wedding day, my beautiful queen. I know that you only married me out of duty, but when I look into your eyes, I want to give you the whole world.

Princess Audrey:
Sometimes I almost believe you would if you could.

Vandal Savage:
We'll see...

Minister:
If anyone here has reason why these two should not be united in marriage, let him speak now, or forever hold their peace.

[a tank crashes through the wall of the chapel, followed shortly by Diana]

Wonder Woman:
Audrey, stop! I won't let you marry him! He's...

[an energy charge hits her, and she drops to the floor, unconscious. Audrey stares as Savage calmly slips his gun back into his sleeve]

Vandal Savage:
Does anyone else have any objection?

Green Lantern:
If I were them, I'd want you to save the world, not waste time coming back for me.

The Flash:
Yeah, but we'd come anyway.

Batman:
You go there uninvited, you'll be breaking international law.

Wonder Woman:
I get my hands on Savage, that's not all I'll be breaking. You coming?

Rex Mason:
Never a guard around when you need one.

Hawkgirl:
Well, that was pretty darn sloppy.

Green Lantern:
Sorry.

Hawkgirl:
Care to talk about it?

Green Lantern:
Running into Mason all these years... guess it got me thinking. Wondering about the choices I've made.

Hawkgirl:
The road not taken?

Green Lantern:
Maybe I could've been more like him. Wealthy, successful...

Hawkgirl:
[grinning] Engaged to a beautiful woman?

Sapphire Stagg:
Get this through your thick head: I love you, you big dope, and I always will.

Sapphire Stagg:
I see why he always looked up to you.

Green Lantern:
To me? He was the one who had it made.

Sapphire Stagg:
No, I've seen him watching you on the news. The way you're always helping people, I think he'd trade places with you in a second.

Hawkgirl:
[flings her mace at the monster only to have it swallow it and get shocked before emitting it out of its mouth again with bits of slime] *That* didn't work.

Metamorpho:
I see you've met Stagg's synthoid.

Green Lantern:
Learn anything?

Hawkgirl:
Yeah, don't hit it with an energy-mace.

Hawkgirl:
It's totally mindless.

J'onn J'onzz:
No, I sensed a mind within the creature: incomplete, irrational, and driven only by base desires.

Metamorpho:
Maybe the computer feedback from the accident transferred part of Stagg's mind into it.

Batman:
[into his communicator after Metamorpho tricked him into touching him and doused him with sleeping-gas so he could fight the monster] Lantern. Are you still there?

Metamorpho:
He's resting.

Metamorpho:
You can't get rid of me that easily.

Sapphire Stagg:
[good-naturedly] C'mere, you big ape.

[last lines]

Hawkgirl:
Still dreaming about the road not taken?

Green Lantern:
[smiling] What do you think?

Simon Stagg:
Fun science fact: all chemical reactions stop at sub-zero temperatures. Even yours.

The Flash:
What were you working on?

J'onn J'onzz:
Nothing. I was taking a nap.

The Flash:
Say no more.

Batman:
I wasn't intending to.

Volcana:
You think this could hold me?

Green Lantern:
Knock yourself out.

Green Lantern:
[speaking of Dee] Look, whatever he is, he's sure not in the same league as Grundy and the others. He's a nobody.

Batman:
Ever read "The Odyssey"? After Odysseus was caught by the cyclops, he told it his name was "Nobody." So when he poked its eye out and its friends asked who did it, all the cyclops could say was, "nobody."

Green Lantern:
Point taken.

Hawkgirl:
Lights out.

Green Lantern:
Good bluff.

Hawkgirl:
Who was bluffing?

[after seeing Volcana in action]

Firefly:
I think I'm in love.

[Copperhead jumps on Hawkgirl's back]

Copperhead:
You're flying me out of here, right now!

[Hawkgirl flies straight up into the air, then stops]

Copperhead:
Well? Get me out of here.

Hawkgirl:
And what if I don't?

Copperhead:
[flicks his tongue] I give you your last kiss.

Hawkgirl:
And you fall forty stories.

[Copperhead looks down]

Hawkgirl:
Didn't really think this through, did you?

[J'onn and Superman are fighting Grundy]

Superman:
He's as strong as we are, but there's one thing he can't do!

[He and J'onn both grab a foot and fling Grundy high into the air, to crash in the distance]

[after Grundy crashes after a huge fall]

Hawkgirl:
He'll live. You won't.

Copperhead:
I'm not scared!

[Green Lantern appears]

Green Lantern:
Then maybe this'll help: you do anything to her, and you won't even make it to the ground.

John Dee:
And I thought I'd actually have to break a sweat!

Superman:
[flying in] I'll be doing the breaking around here!

John Dee:
[transforms into a giant and crushes him between his hands] Yes. You break very nicely.

Hawkgirl:
[Flash waves his hand in front of the still J'onn's glowing eyes] Stop that.

The Flash:
It's OK. I don't think he's home right now.

Cop:
Volcana, Firefly, you're completely surrounded; there's no way out.

Volcana:
How many times have I heard *that* in my life?

Green Lantern:
You don't know if Dee did this.

Batman:
I don't know that he *didn't* do it.

John Dee:
Trouble sleeping? Maybe it's your conscience. Oh - I forgot. You don't have one.

Hawkgirl:
Hold it!

Luminus:
Hold what, this? [extends his gadget out toward her and activates it]

Superman:
[rips the door off its hinges from where it was trapping her after she tried to break it down] I heard you knocking.

Copperhead:
Are you crazy?

Solomon Grundy:
No - mad.

The Flash:
You can't leave now. You haven't seen the ending.

Dr. Destiny:
[attempting to read Batman's mind] What's that stupid song going through your brain?

Batman:
It's what's keeping you out, Johnny.

Dr. Destiny:
Coming here was the mistake of your life. You see, the closer I am to someone, the stronger I get. I'll be able to go into your brain, even if you're wide awake.

Batman:
My brain is not a nice place to be.

Dr. Destiny:
You know, I could let you go. You're a distraction now, and it's the others I have the real problem with. We're like insects to them. They step on us, ruin our lives, and they don't even realize it! But you're different. You don't have any special powers.

Batman:
Oh, I have one, Johnny. I never give up.

Green Lantern:
[Dr. Destiny's turned himself into a giant] I got his eyes.

Superman:
Gut.

The Flash:
Big toe.

Batman:
Don't worry. I'm used to late hours.

Kid:
[after watching a movie about him] That was some sweet banter, Uncle Flash. But what's a cur?

The Flash:
Uh... A bad person, I guess.

Kid:
OK, so why didn't you just say that?

The Flash:
Um...

Kid:
And do people really talk so much when they're fighting?

The Flash:
Uh... Tou want a snack?

Kid:
[Flash has just managed to slam the door on a giant frog found in the fridge] Where's my food?

The Flash:
Are you French?

Kid:
No.

The Flash:
Then there's no food.

Dr. Destiny:
You went too fast. And you're never going to be able to slow down again.

The Flash:
Now I get it. It's a dream. Same one I've been having since I got my speed. And here's where the Swedish bikini team comes in to keep me company.

Dr. Destiny:
The fastest man alive, always leaving people like me in your dust. Well, now you're going to be stuck in high gear, forever.

Green Lantern:
You did this!

Dr. Destiny:
Wasn't me; *you're* the one who's changed.

Batman:
I gave him some stimulants but, this is somebody who could have a building fall on him and not feel it.

J'onn J'onzz:
But once you find him, how are you going to stop him from, thinking?

Batman:
I'll just have to improvise.

Jimmy Olsen:
I'm here for ya, big guy.

Superman:
I started with no power at all. Then I kept getting more and more. What if it never stops?

J'onn J'onzz:
You'll handle it. I know you.

Superman:
Words. Just words.

Superman:
You'll get hurt.

J'onn J'onzz:
No. I'm stronger here than you.

J'onn J'onzz:
I can take this from you, but you have to believe in me.

Dr. Destiny:
You're good, but I'm better.

J'onn J'onzz:
That's why I brought a friend.

J'onn J'onzz:
You need to look inside yourself.

Dr. Destiny:
Adrenaline rush wearing off? Good. The doctor will see you now.

Batman:
Sorry. I'm gonna have to cancel that appointment.

Dr. Destiny:
Do you have any idea how stupid you look? You're never getting out of here! Never! You're stuck here...

The Flash:
Teamwork. What a concept.

Hawkgirl:
Wait a second. Is this another dream?

The Flash:
I could pinch ya...

Hawkgirl:
It's real.

Batman:
You want me to *what*?

Wonder Woman:
Turn yourself over to US authority, along with the rest of us.

Flash:
Okay, that makes sense.

Superman:
Meet us at the coordinates I'm sending you. We should all go over together.

Batman:
This is the single dumbest plan I've ever heard! If you're feeling guilty, clear your own name! Don't stand on the sidelines waiting for someone else to do it!

Wonder Woman:
We've already voted. Five in favor.

Flash:
Six.

Wonder Woman:
You have to come with us, Bruce.

Batman:
I don't 'have' to do anything! I'm a part-timer, remember!

[Batman ends transmission]

Wonder Woman:
...Actually, he took it a lot better than I'd expected.

[Six of the original seven JLAers are surrendering to authorities]

Soldier:
Where's Batman?

Flash:
Running late. The Batmobile, it lost a wheel. The Joker got away.

[pause]

Flash:
That's what I heard.

Supergirl:
I'm worried about them, Steel. I'm worried about my cousin.

Steel:
Don't be. Everybody in the League is good at their job. But those seven, they're the best ever. Not because they're the most powerful, they aren't. Not all of them. And it's not just because they were the first. It's because they're special. They've proven it time and again. They make the hard choices, they set the example, they do what's right, not what's easiest, and they always come out on top. They're gonna be okay, Kara. We all are.

Supergirl:
You know what? No matter how bad you beat me, I'm real, not a clone.

Galatea:
Shut up.

Supergirl:
Deep down you know the truth... you're not a person. You're just a weapon! Grown out of one of Hamilton's petri dishes!

Galatea:
SHUT UP!

Lex Luthor:
Did you really think you could take me down all by yourself?

Amanda Waller:
Actually, yeah. But on the off chance I might have been wrong...

[Luthor turns and sees the Leaguers standing there]

Flash:
Ta-da.

Superman:
It's over, Lex.

Amanda Waller:
Not until I...

[Luthor suddenly screams in pain, as pistons extend from his back and his hands turn into tentacles]

Lex Luthor:
I had hoped to remain hidden until I could install myself into the android...

[a familiar face appears within Luthor's stomach]

Brainiac:
...But you forced my hand.

Superman:
Brainiac!

Professor Emil Hamilton:
Hold still, Galatea. You're invulnerable, this can't possibly be hurting you.

Galatea:
Boredom is my Kryptonite... okay, actually Kryptonite is my Kryptonite, but you know what I mean.

Batman:
We've got business, Waller. You told me once that you were a patriot. Well it's time to step up. You have to know that the Justice League would never have fired that weapon at you.

Amanda Waller:
Sure you would. It was retaliation for kidnapping your man, the Question.

Batman:
And yet, you weren't home. We've had you under surveillance for months. You don't think we saw you evacuate your offices?

Amanda Waller:
A warning shot then.

Batman:
Don't be dense. Someone took over our fusion cannon by remote control. There are maybe three people on Earth smart enough to pull that off. Two of them were already on the Watchtower. And that leaves...

Amanda Waller:
Luthor. That's where you're trying to lead me, right?

Batman:
You're too smart to trust him.

Amanda Waller:
Who says I do? He provides off-the-books funding for Cadmus. As far as I'm concerned, that's all he's good for.

Batman:
Then you must know he's got his own agenda.

Amanda Waller:
He wants to be President. That's agenda enough for anybody.

Batman:
*Almost* anybody. If I were you, I'd start looking at him, hard.

Lex Luthor:
Now you're perfect! A perfect, super-powerful, immortal body. A suitable place for me to spend the rest of eternity. Ironic, years of plotting, hundreds of millions spent on Cadmus R&D projects, and none of it bore fruit. No, it's a lonely employee of LexCorp, Doctor Ivo, creator of Amazo, who we have to thank for my impending godhood.

Batman:
That was the last piece I needed.

Lex Luthor:
Got it all figured out, have you?

Batman:
When you and Atom worked together to stop the first Amazo, he showed you the blueprints. And I suspect you have a photographic memory.

Lex Luthor:
I'm too modest to boast.

Batman:
The real purpose of Cadmus was to give *you* superpowers.

Lex Luthor:
And to ruin Superman's reputation. Imagine how sweet it will be when *I* save the world from the menace of the Justice League! Now, when I kill Superman, they'll build statues in my honor.

Batman:
Maybe next time. [attacks]

[Wonder Woman sees a mall for the first time]

Wonder Woman:
It's like a temple.

Superman:
[sarcastically] Yes, for people who worship their credit cards.

The Flash:
Picture it. The sun, the sea, hundreds of women just like her running around, and me, the first man they've seen in... oh, maybe forever? Oh, and look what I brought. Iced Mochas for everyone. Sweet.

J'onn J'onzz:
I fail to see the attraction.

The Flash:
Man, you really are from Mars.

[trying to think of something to say to her mother after her long absence]

Wonder Woman:
"You look more radiant than ever, Mother..." No. "Gone, mother? I didn't go anywhere. I was in my room... alone... for eight months..." Definitely not. "The world was in peril! Would you have me just stand by and do nothing...?" Hera give me strength.

[Wonder Woman rescues little Cassie from a tree during a storm]

Wonder Woman:
I've got you, little sister.

Cassie:
[confused] You're not my sister.

The Flash:
[after watching J'onn J'onzz defeat a giant snake] Remind me not to get on your bad side.

Wonder Woman:
If you break your vow, no magic in the universe will save you from *me*.

Wonder Woman:
[finding a vase on display] Menalippe! Good for you. I always said your work was museum quality.

Wonder Woman:
This is not your concern.

Superman:
When my friends start tearing up museums, it becomes my concern.

J'onn J'onzz:
I'm afraid that leaves with but one course of action. We'll have to help you.

Wonder Woman:
How can females wear such ridiculous garments?

Superman:
[amused] You got me.

[Hades sees Hippolyta chained to a stone column]

Lord Hades:
Do my eyes deceive me? Is that my dearest Hippolyta here to greet her lord and master on his triumphant return from... [Hades takes off his helmet] Ah, but you know where I've been.

[after sending Hades back to the Underworld]

Princess Diana:
What did you ever see in him?

Queen Hippolyta:
Ancient history.

Felix Faust:
[to Hades] My lord, I have upheld my end of the bargin. Now, I demand what you promised me.

Lord Hades:
Ah, yes, ultimate knowledge. [Hades puts his finger to Faust's head and Faust starts to age and fall apart] Ultimately, pain and suffering are all man will ever know.

Queen Hippolyta:
Diana, princess of Themyscira, stand forth! As your mother, I am overjoyed that you have at last returned to us. But as your queen, I am obliged to uphold the laws of Themyscira, and in bringing these outsiders to our island, you have broken our most sacred law. This cannot be overlooked.

Princess Diana:
But Mother...

Queen Hippolyta:
[holds up hand for silence] Diana, I have no choice. It is with a heavy heart that I must exile you from Themyscira.

Queen Hippolyta:
May Hera watch over you, my little sun and stars.

The Flash:
[holding a mace in Faust's apartment] Where did he get this stuff - Warlocks 'R' Us?

[first lines]

Wonder Woman:
Powerful forces are at work here.

Superman:
[sighs rubbing his head] Tell me something I don't know.

Wonder Woman:
I hope I didn't hurt you.

Superman:
Let's just say I'm glad we're usually on the same team.

Batman:
The last entry makes references to Tartarus.

Wonder Woman:
The Pit of Eternal Souls.

Superman:
Isn't it just a myth?

The Flash:
Now you see me, now you don't.

The Flash:
[battling growing vines] Anybody got some weedkiller?

The Flash:
[being pursued by Hades' exhaled flame] Whoo, give this guy a breath-mint.

The Flash:
After she hands out the medals, how about you and me take a private tour of paradise? [gets a confused look from the Amazon] She wants me.

J'onn J'onzz:
[sarcastically] Indeed.

[discussing a movie they've just watched]

Shining Knight:
No, his proper duty is to his police captain. I see why they call him "Dirty." He besmirches his order.

Vigilante:
Sir Justin, if you want to be watchin' stuff on my big TV with the 5.1 surround sound, you had best watch what you say about Mr. Clint Eastwood.

[the superpowered General Eiling has just defeated all the other League members he was fighting]

General Wade Eiling:
[yelling to the heavens] Superman, you coward! All your men are down, and you won't even show your face!

Shining Knight:
[stepping out of the settling dust] He cannot hear even your bellowing, monster. As we speak, Superman rescues an entire star system a universe away. Do your worst. I'll not let you harm another.

General Wade Eiling:
I do what I do in service to my country.

Shining Knight:
Once at the word of my lord, King Arthur, I was ordered to lay waste to an entire village. I knew my king's heart could not be so unjust. So I spared them all.

General Wade Eiling:
Then you're a lousy soldier.

[the General punches Shining Knight]

Shining Knight:
There it is, the creeping moral decay of the past thousand years.

[Shining Knight swings at the General and misses]

Shining Knight:
Arthur thanked me, oaf. Had I been wrong, I would have handed over my sword and left the court in shame.

[Shining Knight rushes the General, the General throws him down]

General Wade Eiling:
Save yourself a hospital stay and stand down. That magic armor won't help you.

Shining Knight:
Have at thee!

[Shining Knight rushes the General, who smashes him into the ground]

General Wade Eiling:
You're a relic. In this world, power is the only thing that matters. You and those other no-name heroes, you're just people, in the great scheme of things, nothing you do has the least bit of significance.

[General punches Shining Knight across the street]

General Wade Eiling:
I'll waste you and billion like you before I let any power rival America's. It's my duty.

Shining Knight:
You don't know what the word means.

General Wade Eiling:
You can't win.

Shining Knight:
I'll die as befits a knight. Defending the weak.

[Shining Knight tries to stand up but can't]

General Wade Eiling:
Why don't you give up?

Shining Knight:
Why don't you?

General Wade Eiling:
Where's Superman?

Green Arrow:
Busy. Can I help you?

General Wade Eiling:
Yeah, hold this for me!

[Eiling throws a giant piece of debris at the League members]

[even a direct hit from the Quantum Arrow doesn't stop General Eiling]

Speedy:
We are so dead!

Green Arrow:
Could be.

[Green Arrow and Speedy are pelting Eiling with arrows, which are having no effect]

General Wade Eiling:
You spoiled, rich little twerp!

Green Arrow:
I think he means me.

Speedy:
Oh. For a second, I was all mad.

Vigilante:
Ha! The exact second the movie's over, we get a mission. Dang if that ain't lucky!

[the heroes are part of a parade]

Shining Knight:
I'd slay the ogre Blunderbore all over again rather than put myself on display in this manner, even though that ogre turned out to be...

Vigilante, Green Arrow, Stargirl, S.T.R.I.P.E.:
Morgan LeFay.

S.T.R.I.P.E.:
We've all heard it.

Shining Knight:
...'tis a good story.

Vigilante:
[after Courtney displays her powers] Stargirl, ladies and gentlemen! The all-American sweetheart!

Stargirl:
Wow, you really know how to work a crowd.

Vigilante:
Shoot, if I'd brung my gui-tar, I'd have 'em eating outta my hand.

General Wade Eiling:
I mean it! Get Superman and tell him General Wade Eiling wants a word with him.

Green Arrow:
Eiling? From Cadmus?

John Stewart:
What happened? That beat-down he handed you last year leave you with Superman issues?

General Wade Eiling:
He's your poster-boy. I'm gonna show the Justice League that you're not the only superpower on the block. That there's someone who can stop you. I'm here to protect them [motions to the crowd] from you.

General Wade Eiling:
[picking up a car to smash Shining Knight] Superman and your Justice League are a threat to a safe and stable world.

Elderly Woman:
[Standing inbetween Shinning Knight and Eiling] Drop the act. You think killing Superman would make the world safe? Or killing this boy? Or us? Tell me, how many of us do you have to kill to keep us safe?

General Wade Eiling:
They're the ones I'm after, not you. I'm not the menace, Metahumans are! Superpowered beings.

Johnny:
You're the only one around here with super powers!

[Eiling stops, dropping the car]

General Wade Eiling:
...All right, I've become what I hate, I'll give you that. But in the long run, you'll see I was right. You'll see you need the likes of me to protect you from them.

[during the battle with the General, Mr. Terrific finally calls to say he's scrounged up reinforcements]

Green Arrow:
You wanted Superman? You got...

[two forms materialize - the Crimson Avenger, and Speedy]

Green Arrow:
...the Crimson Avenger, and my ex-sidekick.

Speedy:
[turns to him] Ex-PARTNER.

Green Arrow:
Speedy, we gotta do this now?

[during the parade in Metropolis]

Vigilante:
And how about the Shining Knight here? Sir Justin, a genuine knight in armor from the days of King Arthur!

Shining Knight:
Friend, I am no mare at auction.

Vigilante:
[slaps Justin's horse] Hee-yah!

[Winged Victory spreads his wings and flies into the air. The crowd ooh's and aah's]

Vigilante:
How 'bout a big hand for Winged Victory, Sir Justin's horse? And get a look at his magic sword, a gift from Merlin the Magician hisself!

[Justin sighs and draws his sword, holding it aloft. More ooh'ing and aah'ing, and applause]

Lex Luthor:
[sees Question sitting in his office] Question, isn't it? I believe you took something that belongs to me.

The Question:
Have you seen the latest polls? It's beginning to look like you're going to be our next president... just like in that other world.

Lex Luthor:
I wouldn't bet against me.

The Question:
No, it wouldn't be prudent. I want you to understand something, Luthor: although my distaste for you as a human being is brobdingnagian, what I'm about to do isn't personal.

Lex Luthor:
What are you babbling about?

The Question:
Everything that exists has a specific nature, each entity exists as something in particular and has characteristics that are part of what it is. "A" is "A". And no matter what reality he calls home, "Luthor" is "Luthor". If I'm to save the world, your existence must come to an end, before you take office.

Lex Luthor:
...You're going to kill me so that Superman can't.

The Question:
I'm a well-known crackpot. The Justice League's reputation will survive my actions... and Superman's legacy will remain intact.

Lex Luthor:
Interesting plan. Unfortunately for you, it's not really an option.

[he flings out his arm, hitting Question hard enough to knock him into the opposite wall]

Superman:
A lot of things are starting to make sense now. When did Cadmus recruit you?

Professor Emil Hamilton:
Recruit me? I went to them.

Superman:
How could you? Don't you know who these people are?

Professor Emil Hamilton:
Power brokers, politicians, criminals and black ops mercenaries - with one thing in common, besides. They're humanity's last hope against your kind.

Superman:
What are you talking about? Humanity doesn't need protection from us.

Professor Emil Hamilton:
I used to believe that. I used to think that you were a guardian angel, come to answer our prayers... But Lucifer was an angel too, wasn't he?

Superman:
Professor!

Professor Emil Hamilton:
You forget, I've been on the receiving end of your wrath, when you brought Kara here for treatment! I know what you're capable of!

Superman:
That's what this is about? One little scare and you turn on us? You stole Kara's DNA! Violated her trust! My trust!

Professor Emil Hamilton:
The chicken, or the egg, Superman?

Dr. Moon:
You stole files from our computer. Just tell me what you've learned.

The Question:
Topically applied fluoride doesn't prevent tooth decay! It does render teeth detectable by spy satellite!

Dr. Moon:
[shocks The Question] Tell me what you know.

The Question:
The plastic tips at the ends of shoelaces are called aglets. Their true purpose is sinister!

Dr. Moon:
[shocks The Question] Tell me what you know.

The Question:
There was a magic bullet. It was forged by Illuminati mystics to prevent us from learning the truth!

Huntress:
[helping Question out of Cadmus] Lean on me. We're getting out of here.

The Question:
[weary and disoriented] Secret messages... encoded in amino acid chains in carb-free breakfast bars...

Huntress:
Come on, baby doll. It's all right.

[Luthor has beaten up The Question, who came to his office to kill him, believing that Superman would do it if Luthor became President]

Lex Luthor:
[laughing] President? Foolish faceless man. My campaign is a farce. A small part of a much grander scheme. President ? [grabs Question by the throat and slaps him twice] Do you know how much power I'd have to give up to be president?

[throws The Question across the room]

Lex Luthor:
That's right, conspiracy buff. I spent $75 million on a fake presidential campaign all just to tick Superman off.

[while Question is working at a computer, Huntress is single-handedly wiping the floor with the building's security guards]

Huntress:
You really know how to show a girl a good time, Q! When are we going out on a real date?

The Question:
Shh! I'm trying to concentrate.

Huntress:
I'm not even in the Justice League anymore. You're lucky to have me along.

The Question:
Hardly. You're drawn to my eccentric charm.

Huntress:
You get what you came for?

The Question:
I believe so. If there's a link between Luthor and Cadmus, I'll find it here.

Huntress:
Which leaves the rest of our evening tantalizingly free.

The Question:
There are three terabytes of data here. I'll be busy for days...

[Huntress snatches the hard drive away and gives him a piercing look]

The Question:
Uh... dinner and a movie?

Huntress:
It's a start.

[Superman and Huntress break into the room where Dr. Moon has been torturing Question. Seeing them, Moon draws a gun]

Superman:
Don't be stupid. Drop it.

[Moon hesitates, then drops the gun]

Huntress:
Sorry, not good enough!

[punches him unconscious]

Superman:
Something I can help you with?

The Question:
I hope so. But I assume you don't want to discuss your White House weenie-roast in front of a crowd...

Superman:
[to others] I'll be back in a minute. [he leads Question to the empty conference room]

The Question:
Always wondered what was in here. Private conference room. Original members only, yes? A place where you're free to discuss your secrets and lies...

Superman:
You said something about me in the White House.

The Question:
Not you, exactly. Another version of you, hmm?

Superman:
Quit dancing around it. How much do you know?

The Question:
I know what you told everyone. The Justice Lords: a parallel universe version of the Justice League who came to Earth to rid it of crime just as they had on their own world. With Lex Luthor's help, our Justice League managed to rout them. I also know what you didn't tell anyone! On that other Earth, so very much like our own, a Superman, so very much like you, killed the president.

Superman:
[accidentally bends the back of a chair he's leaning on] Question, no one can know about this.

The Question:
Or what? You'd incinerate me, too?

Superman:
I'd never do anything like that.

The Question:
Wouldn't you? Didn't you recently try to lobotomize Doomsday with your heat vision, just as the Justice Lord did?

Superman:
That's different!

The Question:
It's the same! A heavily-armed Watchtower with an army of proactive heroes, Luthor running for president - if it's not *quite* the same, it soon will be. Have you seen Amanda Waller's computer simulations?

Superman:
Batman told me about them.

The Question:
Did he tell you that all the models predicted that a war between the Justice League and the government would devastate the planet?

Superman:
We would never fight the government!

The Question:
Not even if Luthor *was* the government? [Superman is silent; Question begins rambling] Predestined... Flash will die... You will kill Luthor... Superhuman arms race... Armageddon... Inevitable...

Superman:
Question, I'm... [He puts a hand on the Question's shoulder; the Question recoils] I'm worried about you. You're mixed up. This world isn't like the other one. We're not the Justice Lords. Those things you're afraid of won't happen here. I won't let them. [Question is silent for a moment, then walks out]

Wonder Woman:
Mankind may be facing its final hour, Mother.

Queen Hippolyta:
Then mankind will have to face it alone.

Wonder Woman:
How can you say that?

Queen Hippolyta:
What happens beyond our shores is none of our concern. Here, the gods protect us.

Superman:
[referring to Batman] Don't take it personally, J'onn; he doesn't trust anyone.

J'onn J'onzz:
A wise policy.

[Batman, presumed to be unconscious, has caught the hand of a paramedic reaching for his mask]

Batman:
Don't even think about it.

Batman:
[first seeing J'onn J'onzz] What is it?

Superman:
Mankind's only hope.

Green Lantern:
Who's the rookie in the tiara?

Superman:
I'm not sure

The Flash:
Where have you been all my life?

Wonder Woman:
Themyscira.

The Flash:
Huh?

Hawkgirl:
The home of the Amazons. I always thought it was merely a legend.

Wonder Woman:
I assure you, it's as real as the ground on which we stand.

Wonder Woman:
I am Diana. Princess of the Amazons.

The Flash:
Pinch me, I must be dreaming.

[Superman elbows him in the ribs]

The Flash:
Ow.

The Flash:
[Green Lantern has suggested splitting up into teams to defeat the aliens] Dibs on the Amazon.

The Flash:
Look, I'm usually pretty quick on the uptake, but would someone please tell me what the heck is goin' on here?

The Flash:
This is too weird.

Green Lantern:
I've seen stranger things.

J'onn J'onzz:
The invaders are noctural. They want to blot out the sun so they can live in perpetual darkness.

The Flash:
[to Batman] Friends of yours?

Green Lantern:
Lady, this no job for amateurs.

Wonder Woman:
We Amazons are warriors born. Want to test me?

Superman:
Let's not fight among ourselves. John, we're gonna need all the help we can get.

Green Lantern:
Fine. Sorry - Your Highness.

The Flash:
You are no fun.

Green Lantern:
This isn't supposed to be fun.

Green Lantern:
Now listen up, here's the plan.

The Flash:
What plan? We kick their butts, right; let's get this over with.

Wonder Woman:
Hiding like cowards is not the Amazon way.

Batman:
They must have a weakness. When we find it we'll strike.

J'onn J'onzz:
There are no openings.

Wonder Woman:
Then we'll make our own.

Batman:
[J'onn prepares to chase her but Batman holds him back] Wait. Let's see what she can do.

Wonder Woman:
[binds the alien and knocks it against the wall so it's destroyed and a hole is created] There's your opening.

Batman:
Not bad.

Wonder Woman:
They run like cowards. What are you waiting for?

Superman:
Keep a sharp eye out.

Hawkgirl:
I always do.

Superman:
Whoa.

Hawkgirl:
What? There's a time for words and a time for action.

Hawkgirl:
They're close. I can almost smell them.

Superman:
Are you always so eager to fight?

Hawkgirl:
My home Thanagar is a war-like world. There one must strike first, or die.

Green Lantern:
Of all the idiotic, boneheaded, glory-grabbing moves. Haven't you ever heard of teamwork?

The Flash:
[a laser-shot fires near where he's being freed] Um, maybe we better save the motivational speeches for *later*?

[Batman just misses getting out of the aliens' lab, sealed behind an opaque barrier Wonder Woman cannot breach. He surrenders the crystal, but the aliens ready their weapons to fire anyway. From the other side, the sound of weapons fire is heard, their impacts distorting the barrier, then stops]

Wonder Woman:
No!

J'onn J'onzz:
[grabs her shoulder] Wait. There's nothing more we can do for him.

Wonder Woman:
You don't mean he's...

J'onn J'onzz:
Gone.

Superman:
I once thought I could protect the world by myself, but I was wrong. Working together, we saved the planet and I believe that is we stayed together as a team, we could be a force that could truly work for the ideals of peace and justice.

The Flash:
What, like a bunch of Superfriends?

Superman:
More like a Justice League.

Batman:
I'm not really a people person. But when you need help, and you will, call me.

J'onn J'onzz:
My family and loved ones are long gone... I am the last of my kind.

Superman:
I know the feeling.

Wonder Woman:
They're nothing but untamed savages.

J'onn J'onzz:
Do not judge them too harshly. They act out of fear.

Green Lantern:
What about Batman?

J'onn J'onzz:
He acted heroically, to the very end.

Wonder Woman:
[of Batman] He was a true warrior.

The Flash:
[of J'onn] Can we trust this space case?

Green Lantern:
What choice do we have?

Green Lantern:
Diana, watch my back.

Wonder Woman:
You want to rely on an amateur?

The Flash:
[after causing the alien war-machine to lose a leg trying to catch him, it falls over and explodes] B'bye.

The Flash:
[after J'onn transforms into one of the aliens to defeat them] Is it just me, or does he creep you out too?

Superman:
You shouldn't have risked your lives for us.

J'onn J'onzz:
Would you have done less for me?

Imperium:
After all these years you have finally lost.

J'onn J'onzz:
[telepathically] Have I?

Imperium:
You're hiding something. A secret deep in the recesses of your mind. Is this another one of your Martian tricks?

J'onn J'onzz:
[telepathically] Do I sense fear?

J'onn J'onzz:
You live underground and shun the light. Why? Does it burn your pale putrid skin?

Batman:
Coming from the depths of space, the invaders have no resistance to our sun's radiation.

Wonder Woman:
So you did find their weakness after all.

Imperium:
[its follower grabs onto it as it rises to leave] Unhand me, worm!

The Flash:
[Whisks Batman out of where the spaceship wreckage falls a second later] We'd hate to lose you again.

Superman:
Incredible. Do your stockholders know about this, Bruce?

Batman:
A line item hidden in the aerospace RND budget.

The Flash:
[of the Justice League] Do you have any idea how corny that sounds?

Superman:
J'onn, we can never replace the family you've lost. But we would be honored if you could learn to call the Earth your home.

[the Society confronts Batman, alone]

Clayface:
You didn't think I'd come here without reinforcements, did you?

Batman:
Wish I'd thought of that.

[the door falls open behind him]

Batman:
Oh, wait - I did.

[Parasite falls backward, Sinestro catches him]

Killer Frost:
Your turn.

Giganta:
I don't think this is such a good idea...

Killer Frost:
Don't be such a girl.

Giganta:
But, I mean, I'm a little heavier than I look...

[cut to Shade and Grodd, watching]

The Shade:
Trying to get them to trust each other, huh?

Grodd:
Not the easiest thing for loners, sociopaths, and psychos.

[crash, rumble]

Giganta:
Ow.

Giganta:
[to Superman] Wouldn't hit a woman, would you?

Wonder Woman:
I would!

[knocks Giganta out]

The Flash:
[trying to high-five Superman] Whoo, back in business!

[no response]

The Flash:
Are-aren't we?

Wonder Woman:
A lot of things were said.

The Flash:
Yeah, but that was all brain control. We didn't mean...

J'onn J'onzz:
We meant every word.

Hawkgirl:
...So what do we do?

Green Lantern:
All we can do is say we're sorry and move on.

[Batman has just seen through Clayface's over-urban impression of the Flash]

Clayface:
What gave me away?

Batman:
You overplayed your part, "yo."

[as the League breaks free]

Grodd:
This isn't exactly the show I had in mind, but in a way it's going to be even better. Don't forget your training.

[as the Society and the League face off on the field, zoom in on one little boy sitting in the rafters]

Little Boy:
[whispers] Get 'em.

[the League and the Society roar and charge]

[Flash dangles a thug upside down off a building]

Thug:
Who do you think you are, Batman?

The Flash:
It's been a long night, just tell me where Shade is, okay?

Thug:
Look, buddy, I know Batman. I once ratted out a counterfeiter to Batman. And believe me, you are no Bat...

[Flash drops him]

Thug:
MAAAAAAAAAAAAN...!

Clayface:
Remember those old spy movies I used to act in? Where the villain would catch the hero, but wouldn't kill him? And then the hero would *always* get away?

Grodd:
I'm not much of a moviegoer.

[the Society's airship touches down in the middle of a football stadium's half-time show]

Grodd:
Now that I have your attention... we've come to this arena because it's where the strong routinely defeat the weak. How you so-called higher primates revel in that! Yet outside these walls, you do everything in your power to shackle the mighty and prevent them from fulfilling their destiny! That's all about to change. [police approach, Sinestro shoves them away with his ring] Just a small demonstration of our might. Not convinced? There's more. [he presses a remote, and the cells rise into view, holding the captive League] There they are, your heroes, who violate every law of nature by coddling the weak and powerless. We say, it's time for a new order. But it can't arise until the old one departs...

[Batman throws a Batarang, and for the umpteenth time, Shade loses his power when his staff is knocked out of his hand]

Batman:
Never learn, do you?

[Shade kicks him square in the face, knocking him onto his back]

The Shade:
Actually, I have learned a few things.

[he assumes a fighting stance. Batman does the same, and motions "come on."]

Hawkgirl:
I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you. Exactly. I just... I've got the worst taste in men.

Carter Hall:
I'm serious, Shayera.

Hawkgirl:
I know you are. And I'm in a lost Egyptian tomb with my stalker. The worst part is I'm going to have to listen to John and Batman saying "I told you so."

Hawkgirl:
Aliens? Well, then he must be a lunatic because we know there's no life on other planets.

Batman:
There's more.

Hawkgirl:
What?

Batman:
Our Mr. Hall spends quite a bit of time on the Internet.

Hawkgirl:
Dang, lock him up!

Batman:
He frequents the "I Hate Hawkgirl" boards.

Hawkgirl:
That doesn't mean..."boards"? How many are there?

Batman:
Fifty-seven. Web rings. Unaffiliated sites number in the hundreds...

Hawkgirl:
Forget I asked!

John Stewart:
Shayera, I wanted to - Judas Priest!

Batman:
The most mysterious creatures in the universe.

John Stewart:
Sorry?

Batman:
Women. Don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't know she was spoken for.

John Stewart:
[pointing his ring at Shayera] Whose side are you really on?

Shayera Hol:
Don't you know?

[Lantern hesitates, then lowers his ring. Shayera hits him with her mace]

Shayera Hol:
I'm sorry, John.

Clark Kent:
[on the phone] Look, Lois, I know you'd give your IT for this assignment, but *someone* had to cover that sanitations strike.

[holding the phone away from his ear during a loud response]

Clark Kent:
Don't blame me; talk to Perry!

Hawkgirl:
After this, let's go to that Chinese place by your apartment.

Green Lantern:
Fine. But this time, no eel-legs.

Hawkgirl:
Lightweight.

[inside the Batcave]

Wally West:
Hey, that's a giant dinosaur!

Alfred Pennyworth:
And I thought Batman was the detective.

[the League is forced to travel in street clothes to avoid detection by the Thangarians]

The Flash:
Hold on a second here. What about the whole secret identity thing? I mean, I trust you guys, but I'm not sure I'm ready to...