K.C. Undercover

Kira Cooper:
[opening lines]

[goes upstairs into KC's room to wake her up]

Kira Cooper:
Good news, KC!

[KC is sleeping on the couch, Craig kicks the couch to wake her up]

K.C. Cooper:
[wakes up] I'm up!

Ernie Cooper:
Good! 'Cause you've been accepted to the University of Maryland!

K.C. Cooper:
Wait, I got into college? Are you serious! Yes! Yes! I don't remember applying.

[pause]

K.C. Cooper:
Wait, how long was I napping for?

Ernie Cooper:
[sitting down] It's for a mission.

K.C. Cooper:
This is great! I get to go to college and be with mature, sophisticated people who take their education seriously. Plus, I'm not gonna need a hall pass to tinkle.

Kira Cooper:
Actually, you're going undercover as a total party girl, so you can bond with Eliza Montgomery.

K.C. Cooper:
Wait, *the* Eliza Montgomery? The President's daughter? The West Wing Wild Child?

[KC chuckles]

K.C. Cooper:
Man, her dad may be able to pass a bill, but *that* girl can't even pass a class!

Kira Cooper:
Which is why this is her 3rd college in 2 years!

Ernie Cooper:
Yep. She's notorious for ditching her Secret Service agents. Your assignment is to become her best friend and keep an eye on her. The big guy himself chose you for this mission.

K.C. Cooper:
Wait, "the big guy"? I have an assignment from the *President*? Commander in Chief? POTUS!

Ernie Cooper:
No! Stanley! The big guy who's head of the Secret Service!

[Ernie laughs loudly]

Ernie Cooper:
Like the President knows you exist!

[Ernie continues laughing, KC smiles sarcastically and throws a pillow at him]

K.C. Cooper:
[KC is in the library, as Harper, the party girl; looking for Eliza. She picks up a book and looks at it] I'll be back for you in a couple of years. [walking to a couple of college students at a table and does the peace sign] My peeps! [walking over to a table, where she sees Eliza at a table, taking selfies with her phone, with her Secret Service agents standing over her] My assignment. [Eliza takes one final selfie, and then gets up from her table with her Secret Service agents following her]

Eliza Montgomery:
[to one of her Secret Service agents] Relax, tuna breath! I'm getting a book. [Eliza walks over to the bookshelf where she sees KC aka Harper drop her schedule paper] Uh, dude? You dropped your class schedule.

K.C. Cooper:
Oh, thanks. Now I know exactly what classes I'm not going to! [Eliza chuckles] [KC holds out her hand and introducing herself] Harper Wyatt.

Eliza Montgomery:
[shaking KC's hand] Eliza Montgomery.

K.C. Cooper:
[looking at Eliza like she recognises her] Dude, you look really familiar. [gasps] Are you internet famous?

Eliza Montgomery:
No. My dad is kinda the President.

K.C. Cooper:
Eh, that's cool too. Hey, can you do me a favor and tell him to stop with the whole Daylight Savings thing, cause it was 4 hours ago, and I'm still half-asleep!

Eliza Montgomery:
[Eliza laughs] You're funny!

K.C. Cooper:
[whispers to Eliza] Hey, wanna get outta here and actually *do* something fun?

Eliza Montgomery:
Well I would, but [looking at her Secret Service agents standing behind her back] I've got Tweedledee and Tweedle-dumber!

K.C. Cooper:
[points her to a bookshelf near the window] Hey, you should check out this research book! [Eliza and KC walk over to the bookshelf near the window] [whispers] I can get you out of here with them even noticing.

Eliza Montgomery:
Dude, if you can sneak me out, you're my new best friend!

K.C. Cooper:
[KC gives a random college student a dollar, then drapes Eliza's fur jacket and puts her wool hat on the random girl] OK, there we go. [whispers to the girl] Just go right there [points her towards the Secret Service agents, the girl walks out of the library, wearing Eliza's jacket and hat, then Eliza's Secret Service starts following the girl] Yes! [to Eliza] Alright, it's time for us to hit the books! [Eliza nods, KC and Eliza start climbing up the bookcase and out the window]

K.C. Cooper:
What are you doing?

Marisa Clark:
[referring to her dance moves] Oh it's a blend between the Cabbage Patch and the Robot. I know it's a little old-school but that is how Clarisa rolls!

K.C. Cooper:
Look, I can't get distracted. I gotta keep my eyes on Eliza.

Marisa Clark:
See, what's so special about her anyway?

K.C. Cooper:
OK, "Party-Dar", clearly you don't have a current events-dar! She's the First Daughter.

Marisa Clark:
In her family to go to college?

K.C. Cooper:
Of the United States!

Marisa Clark:
She's the first daughter in the United States to go to college? [Marisa laughs] I don't think so!

K.C. Cooper:
No, "Clarisa"! She *is* the First Daughter! The *President's* daughter! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to... [sees Eliza sitting on a cute boy's lap and getting her picture taken by the paparazzi] Oh no! [KC shoves past so many college students and then tries to find Eliza]

Eliza Montgomery:
[Eliza and KC are at the coffee shop where they are having a party night. Eliza brings two cups of coffee to her and KC's table] Extra-bold dark roast. The beans are fermented in elephant poo for an extra kick! [Eliza giggles]

K.C. Cooper:
[almost disgusted, but has to keep her cover] Oh, goody! Kick me! [Eliza chuckles] [points to Eliza] Hey, check out that cutie over there. [Eliza looks across the table, and sees the barista, KC spills her coffee on a plant]

Eliza Montgomery:
Harper, you and I have very different taste in guys!

K.C. Cooper:
[pointing to her half-spilled coffee cup] Mmm, yummy!

Eliza Montgomery:
[Eliza looks out the window and sees the paparazzi taking pictures of her and KC] Ugh, not again! [she tips her coffee at the window and pokes her tongue out and makes a funny face at the paparazzi]

K.C. Cooper:
No! Eliza, chill! Dude, you *do* realise that your dad *is* the President of the United States, right?

Eliza Montgomery:
Who cares? He doesn't give an elephant's poo about me! Besides, Eliza Montgomery *loves* the media attention, haven't you heard?

K.C. Cooper:
You *do* like the attention, but I think you might want it from your dad.

Eliza Montgomery:
Right. Yeah, like my dad knows I exist! He's so busy running the country, that I am the last thing he even thinks about... [realising what she has been doing in the past]... which is why I act out to get his attention! [realising KC is right] OK, you might have a point.

K.C. Cooper:
Look, your dad has seen you sneak out to parties, OK. He's seen you fail out of schools, and ditch your Secret Service agents, but you know what he hasn't seen you do? [looks at Eliza, and she looks at her like, "What?"] Get an A!

Eliza Montgomery:
[gasps] That would *totally* freak him out! I'd be all like, "You don't know me, Pops! I got mad study skills!" [looks at KC, worried] Except I totally don't, dude!

K.C. Cooper:
I can totally help you study, dude.

Eliza Montgomery:
Really, dude?

K.C. Cooper:
Yeah, dude!

Eliza Montgomery:
[in a thank you tone] Dude!

K.C. Cooper:
[in a you're welcome tone] Dude!

Eliza Montgomery:
[gasps] Too bad the library isn't open now!

K.C. Cooper:
Well, we snuck out, we can sneak back in.

Eliza Montgomery, K.C. Cooper:
[pointing at each other thinking it's a good idea] [in unison] Dude!

K.C. Cooper:
What are you doing after school?

Ernie Cooper:
You know, the usual.

K.C. Cooper:
Good, so you're available.