Slackers

Ethan:
I have copies! I'm not afraid to expel you!

Ethan:
They call me Cool Ethan. I live in Heineraker Hall.

Dave:
Alright - cool.

Dave:
I brought you coffee.

Ethan:
I don't touch that stuff.

Dave:
Can I come in?

Ethan:
No. No one comes into Ethan's room. Ethan's rules.

Dave:
What's that smell?

Ethan:
Maybe it's the smell of your ass getting kicked out of school.

Ethan:
You're smart. I like you. I'll probably give you a nickname.

Jeff:
Yoo-hoo, it's Steve Pasternack, looking for Angela! Angela, please!

Reanna:
Do I f***ing know you?

Jeff:
Uh, I lent Angela my notebook, because I take such world "famous" notes. So I was wondering if I could... are you busy with something?

Reanna:
Yeah. I was masturbating.

Jeff:
Heh. Hoo! Masturbating. In the dorms. Well, that's what you get when you go to art school.

Sam:
You know what boys? Why don't you just let me take care of it. You treat a hot girl like dirt, and she'll stick to you like mud.

Sam:
Why don't you watch where you're going, you skanky-ass bi-atch.

Girl at Trendy Club:
Cocksucker.

Sam:
Slut.

Girl at Trendy Club:
Buttwipe.

Sam:
Hoe.

Girl at Trendy Club:
Monkey boy.

Girl at Trendy Club:
OH!

Ethan:
What would me say?

Mr. Leonard:
Good afternoon Mr. Dulles.

Dave:
Call me Jack.

Mr. Leonard:
But is says here your first name is Ethan?

Dave:
Nah, just call me Jack.

Mr. Leonard:
All right Jack. If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?

Dave:
Hmmm, I'd have to say... slave to the freaky ass booty.

Ethan:
Angela? Weird!

Angela:
Ethan? What are you doing here?

Ethan:
Well, I'm in the food service industry, and I like bums, so it's kinda my duty.

Ethan:
I just need a woman's POV on the whole "sitch"

Long-Haired Hobo:
I'm not gonna eat that sh*t, you f***in' retard.

Ethan:
No one calls me a retard, ya FREAKIN' HOBO!

Ethan:
I want to make sure that you and I are best friends - "gnome" matter what.

Angela:
Ethan, that's a troll.

Ethan:
"Gnome" it's not.

Jeff:
We have been getting screwed by the system. The system that forces us guys to like girls. All right? We're getting pushed into this. What if we just take the girls out of it? We can have our own system, it's a counter-system. And then, you do things together, you swim, you row, you... boat, you eat, you stink. We can just be guys! You can have sex, you can do it, you know, many guys at a time, but it's not gay.

Ethan:
You are so awesome, your room is so awesome, your phone is kick-ass, and you know what? I love you.

Ethan:
There goes Dave the Liar, I eff-ed his old girlfriend!

Sam:
I have something to say to you... and I think that it's important that I say it out of the cage.

Angela:
Ethan, what is this, is this a hair doll?

Ethan:
I didn't make that! It fell out of your hair that way!

Ethan:
I had a nickname for you! You wanna know what it was? I'm not going to tell you. All right, it was "Laser."

Dave:
I'm a commercial airline pilot.

Hot Twin #1:
Yeah, whatever.

Dave:
No, I'm a commercial airline pilot.

Hot Twin #1:
Haha.

Dave:
I am a professional... commercial... airline... pilot.

Hot Twin #1:
Cool!

Hot Twin #2:
Cool!

Hot Twin #1:
Is he a pilot too?

Jeff:
FBI. I get the ugly one.

Ethan:
The dirty old whore told me to do it!

Angela:
You are a child and you are manipulative and even worse... you're a whore.

Dave:
I am not a whore.

Philip:
Eyes on my own paper,eyes on my own paper. Joe Schmo has no answers for you.

Ethan:
He's in my seat.

Philip:
Yeah... and we're grown-ups. We don't argue over seats. Now go sit over there. There are plenty of empty seats there.