Rizzoli & Isles

Dr. Maura Isles:
Maybe we can sit down and have a cup of coffee? Real coffee. I can make us all some breakfast.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I'll take the coffee [and pours the coffee in some sort container]

Dr. Maura Isles:
Oh, eh...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Thanks; See you later [walks away]

Angela Rizzoli:
Wasn't that your vase?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Yup

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Morning

Detective Vince Korsak:
What are you doing here?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I have had hundreds of homicides and grievings that go with it. I can deal with this

Detective Vince Korsak:
Really? Because you had coffee in your pencil holder

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
It is not a pencil holder, Maura was messing with me

Dr. Maura Isles:
[Dictating] Dr. Maura Isles initiating the examination of...

Dr. Maura Isles:
I... , I don't want to call you Jane Doe, because that is what I call the other women who end up on this table who are... less alive than you. Based on the flounce hem of your skirt and the elasticity of your skin I say that you are in your mid twenties. The most popular baby name 25 years ago was Jessica.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[Dictating] Maura Isles initiating the examination of Jessica Doe, female Caucasian, approximately just 25

Dr. Maura Isles:
I am sorry, you don't mind me talking as if you were not here?

Lily Green:
It's okay, you are trying to help me, right?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, I am trying to find out what happened to you

Dr. Maura Isles:
I am finished my live autopsy; well technically it can't be an autopsy as it is by definition an examination of body after death. Although I could be using the word in the spirit of autopsy,the Greek meaning of: seeing with ones eyes.

Dr. Maura Isles:
It occurred to me today, that we need to talk about our last wishes

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No we don't

Dr. Maura Isles:
I want to be buried at sea

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No, I hate boats. And I have to go to city hall and get all kinds of permits and... no, just pick something more landlocked.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Jane, I want to return to the primordial soup that spawned us all. Bring nothing fancy, just a small group of friends and family and a cello

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
We're on a boat Maura! And a cello is officially fancy

Dr. Maura Isles:
It will be only one and it should play Bach's Suite G in major. And then everyone can toast me with a nice bottle of champagne before you throw me overboard. So, what do you want?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I want to die one day before you, so I don't have to go out on a boat

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Do you make this stuff up because you know we can't check it?

Maura Isles:
Yes. [pause] No. I'm not that fanciful.

Maura Isles:
[watching arson clip on her laptop] This is terrible! Oh my god, Jane

Jane Rizzoli:
Don't panic

Maura Isles:
Too late! I need to see it again

Jane Rizzoli:
Wait no, too much screen time is bad for you! Take a break, go cut open a body

Maura Isles:
Well, I can't lie

Jane Rizzoli:
Yes you can! That's the beauty of the new you!

Maura Isles:
[hesitates] I can try

Jane Rizzoli:
I have confidence in you

Maura Isles:
[at the crime scene] This is interesting

Vince Korsak:
Last thing I expect to hear here

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
What would you expect?

Vince Korsak:
Sad story

Maura Isles:
Well, this is interesting and sad

Jane Rizzoli:
[enters lab] You rang? Ish!

Maura Isles:
I have a surprise for you

Jane Rizzoli:
[looking at an oddly shaped white sheet on a table] Oh no, Dr. Frankenstein, you shouldn't have!

Boris Martin:
Tell me about your living arrangements

Jane Rizzoli:
I, uh, live with my brother. [Boris frowns] It's temporary

Boris Martin:
Well, he'll have to move, till this is over

Jane Rizzoli:
Pff, finally some good news

Boris Martin:
How're you doing?

Jane Rizzoli:
Now I know what a prisoner feels like

Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, time goes slow when there is nothing to do

Nina Holiday:
There is no 52626th street in Boston

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Surprise

Maura Isles:
Maybe it would help if you lean into the discomfort

Jane Rizzoli:
In the same way you lean into your stilettos?

Maura Isles:
Yes, except for the leaning you're about to do, doesn't make your butt look great

Jane Rizzoli:
It doesn't make anything look great

Jane Rizzoli:
[walking in the woods, waving mosquitoes away] Right now I am more worried about catching malaria

Maura Isles:
Oh, don't be. There hasn't been an outbreak of locally contracted malaria since 1931, although there have been recent outbreaks of equine encephalitis

Jane Rizzoli:
Has not one of these mosquitoes buzzed your head? You really aren't human, are you?

Maura Isles:
Well, some people have genetic susceptibility to being bitten. I don't

Maura Isles:
Okay, you have a birthday coming up. Wouldn't it be nice to just get something you really want?

Jane Rizzoli:
I really want a cause of death

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
[Looking at the leaving parents of the victim] How the hell do you through a day like this?

Vince Korsak:
Right now they're on autopilot. The worst day is coming: the day the shock wears off and they know their little girl is really gone

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
[sighs] I'll get on it, right after I cancel the plans I had for the rest of my life

Jane Rizzoli:
So, [he] killed him?

Maura Isles:
I can't say that

Jane Rizzoli:
Did you every play clue? Two people in the room, one person's dead, the other person's covered in blood. Who's the murderer?

Maura Isles:
Well, I think it's the person that left his fingerprints on the murder weapon

Vince Korsak:
The DA office is gonna love this case, it's all wrapped up with a bow on top

Maura Isles:
Speaking of gift wrapped, Jane, I've got a little surprise for you

Jane Rizzoli:
You didn't

Maura Isles:
I did! Granted, I had to oil a few hands and tug a few lines...

Jane Rizzoli:
[looking at a very confused Korsak] No, she means: grease a few palms and pull a few strings

[Maura grabs the coffee from Jane]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I will kill you

Dr. Maura Isles:
Caffeine is bad

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Death worse!

[Maura starts drinking Jane's coffee]

Dr. Maura Isles:
Hmm, this is good! Did you use Sulawesi?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I hate you

Officer Garcia:
Is detective Frost in?

Detective Vince Korsak:
No he is on vacation

Officer Garcia:
Oh, when is he coming back?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
He is driving back today, he will be in tomorrow

Detective Vince Korsak:
Can I help you with something?

Officer Garcia:
I doubt it

Detective Vince Korsak:
Well, try me

Officer Garcia:
Oh, the detective has been helping me organize all my house observations and patrols in a database which I can cross reverence with other officers and update from my phone. The system is so complicated I am afraid to touch it myself. Any change you can input these for me?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Ahh, you might be better if detective Frost handle that himself

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
How sure are you about this?

Dr. Maura Isles:
On a scale of one to Alpha Centauri?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
If you have to

Dr. Maura Isles:
About a block from Alpha Centauri

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
That is very sure

Dr. Maura Isles:
A lot of women work as strippers to get them through college. Which is not so strange considering to the cost of higher education

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, I am not advocating their life style, although I do envy anyone who do work where 5-inch heels are required

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura, Focus!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Right, yes.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I. Will. Kill. You.

Maura Isles:
Caffeine bad.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Death worse.

Maura Isles:
Would that be so bad becoming a little like your mother?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I mean, nuclear war is worse, but it's close.

Jane Rizzoli:
[walks in] I'm starving!

Maura Isles:
Good Morning. What are you looking for?

Jane Rizzoli:
A piece of bread or a muffin. In your world: a croissant

Maura Isles:
Carbs

Jane Rizzoli:
Yes!

Maura Isles:
Empty calories

Jane Rizzoli:
[arriving at the crime scene, seeing Korsak and Frankie quarrel] What's up?

Vince Korsak:
Frankie lost a bet, and I get to pick his punishment. But you're probably talking about the crime scene, don't you?

Maura Isles:
[investigating the victim] Huh?

Jane Rizzoli:
What is it?

Maura Isles:
This blood pooling! Something's not right

Jane Rizzoli:
What are you thinking?

Maura Isles:
I'm gonna have to investigate further

Vince Korsak:
Surprise, surpise

Maura Isles:
So, do you want the bad news or... the bad news?

Jane Rizzoli:
Hmm, you pick

Jane Rizzoli:
How long were you two together?

Linda Hendrickson:
Not long, I broke it off. Mark wasn't my kind a guy

Vince Korsak:
I... I got to say: I'm surprised he was your kind of guy, even for a little while

Linda Hendrickson:
It's tough for me to meet men

Jane Rizzoli:
You're surrounded by men!

Linda Hendrickson:
So are you! Does that make it easier?

Jane Rizzoli:
[enters the lab] You rang?

Maura Isles:
Yes. There's something very interesting about the big fish that was found in Mark's live well when he died [picks up a dissection plate]

Jane Rizzoli:
Is that the fish that kept swimming toward me? The cute one?

Maura Isles:
Yes!

Jane Rizzoli:
You killed him! 'cause you were jealous!

Maura Isles:
Well, he was sick. That's why he kept swimming around repetitively and banging into the glass

Jane Rizzoli:
Sick of love!

Maura Isles:
Uh! Well, I cured him!

Jane Rizzoli:
[in a row boat, Jane is doing the rowing] Did you know that because of all the pollution the bass are changing sexes, with the male carrying the eggs?

Jane Rizzoli:
[not very surprised] Well, it's about time!

Jane Rizzoli:
You did not know that!

Maura Isles:
Yes, I did. I read it in a science journal. You?

Jane Rizzoli:
Remember that book Skeet gave me? Interesting

Maura Isles:
Skeet?

Jane Rizzoli:
The book!

Kent Drake:
[back on the lake, on a motor boat] If Jane asks: you rowed!

Kent Drake:
You two have a unique relationship, don't you? I'm still trying to figure it out

Maura Isles:
Me too!

Maura Isles:
[after an unclear answer] I can never tell when you are joking

Kent Drake:
I know!

[leaving Maura even more puzzled]

Jane Rizzoli:
Well, someone is lying!

Vince Korsak:
Carla?

Jane Rizzoli:
No, everybody else

Susie Chang:
Dr. Isles is the first president elect in the field of forensic pathology

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yes, and the first whose patients are all dead

Susie Chang:
[Taking the cake as the celebration is interrupted] Okay, I'll just, eh, take this to the fridge [looking at Jane] not the morgue fridge

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
If that goes anywhere near a person with a toe tag, I'll know it

Susie Chang:
I understand

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I'm watching you Chang! [Leaves the autopsy room]

Susie Chang:
The morgue fridge is the only thing big enough to fit this cake in

Angela Rizzoli:
Dead man tell no tales

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, he is shot, right, Maura? He wasn't run through with a spear or something?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, I need to autopsy to confirm the cause of death, but these wounds are consistent with a gunshot, yes

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, just because it is a professional killer, doesn't mean it's a professional hit. Ned wasn't even supposed to be here

Detective Vince Korsak:
Professional killer, random target?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Don't day the R-word! It's bad for morale!

Dr. Maura Isles:
You know I think he has clinical lycanthropy, usually brought on by schizophrenia or a psychotic break

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Do I need a tattoo on my forehead that says: "What does that mean, Maura?"

Dr. Maura Isles:
Oh! I assumed you were just shocked into silence because his condition is so rare

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No!

Nina Holiday:
Turns out custom reloaders are very cooporative people [Korsak looks surprised] after I threatened them with a warrant to seize all their chemicals to search for unregistered tags

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Hey, did you get my text?

Dr. Maura Isles:
You said you were coming down

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, and then I said: "scratch that, I need you to come upstairs and talk to Teen Wolf"

Dr. Maura Isles:
Oh [picks up her phone and starts reading]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, after that it's just variations of "where the hell are you?"

Dr. Maura Isles:
These emoticons don't deserve to be used in such disturbing ways

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Gets the point across, doesn't it?

Detective Vince Korsak:
That's a first. A suspect that wants to stay in jail.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
There is no way in hell I am taking this off, all right? I'm already running twenty-six miles with a camel toe.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Holy crap! You're not gonna cry on me.

Dr. Maura Isles:
No, I'm trying not to. It's just that my amigdala and my lacrimal gland have a connection that I can't really control.

Angela Rizzoli:
Alright, lighten up Frank, come on. Jane's running, Frankie's working. Everybody's having fun, I mean. We're all families out here.

Frank Rizzoli Sr.:
I'd rather hang out with your mother.

Angela Rizzoli:
Okay, that's not nice. That's not a good way to start the day, okay?

Dr. Maura Isles:
[sarcastically] Okay, sure Jane, yes, just give me a Leatherman and some duct tape and I'm all good to go.

Tom Garvin:
Great. I got those both right here.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Come on, Jane. Maybe we should stop the race.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura, we stop this race, we send a message to thousands of people that we give in to fear. We don't give in to fear!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Okay, I understand, I... If we do, then we just end up dying a little bit every day. [pause] Which, metabolically speaking, we do anyway.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura! Really?

[first lines]

Race Reporter:
What a perfect day for the Massachusetts Marathon. Now, we've got our own race correspondent ready to tell us all about this twenty-six point two mile race. Tom? What's the mood down there?

[last lines]

Angela Rizzoli:
[to Jane and Maura, after they've finished the marathon route and everyone's celebrating] I'm so proud of you!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Eating dry toast] Yummy, this tastes just like a ham and cheese omelet! Without the ham, the cheese and the omelet!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
So, no talking about work!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Why? The body is ever so fascinating

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yes it is, but less so the insides

Dr. Maura Isles:
Fine, then what do I talk about when anything work related comes up?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Anything

Dr. Maura Isles:
Oh, you say anything, but...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, okay, talk about puppies

Dr. Maura Isles:
Puppies?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, everybody loves puppies

Dr. Maura Isles:
True, information on the intestinal enterits of puppies...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
The outside, Maura! Everybody loves the outsides of puppies!

Angela Rizzoli:
[Wearing a hideous dress] How do I look?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Oh!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Eh, well, that's a very challenging palette for you, Angela, but you seem to be pulling it off

Angela Rizzoli:
Damn! Okay, how do I look worse?

Detective Vince Korsak:
What are doing?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Watching her work

Detective Vince Korsak:
Your sister?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
No, the cop she's with. She's British, her name is Jillian. She's got one of those accents, you know, like James Bond and Mary Poppins, all into one.

Detective Vince Korsak:
Ah, even an insult looks good in that accent

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Yeah, I'd wish she insult me!

Jillian:
This is incredible! How did you figure this out? Are you some sort of bibliophile?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No, it... it wasn't me; it was our resident everything-ophile, Dr. Maura Isles.

Dr. Maura Isles:
I don't know everything

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What's the capital of Chili? She knows

[Couple of scenes later, when Jane walks out of the elevator and just before the elevator door closes on Maura]

Dr. Maura Isles:
And it's Santiago

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Brilliant!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Oh my God. You're flirting over a dead body.

Dr. Maura Isles:
When else am I going to do it?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura, what do you see?

Dr. Maura Isles:
A reddish brown stain.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
In other words, blood.

Dr. Maura Isles:
No, the crime lab will determine what it is. She has no lacerations.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
So maybe we got lucky and the killer was bleeding. Or smearing reddish brown stuff.

Dr. Maura Isles:
You are deceptively complex. I do not understand you.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, you would if I was a dead body.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Do you think so?

Angela Rizzoli:
Frankie needs a wife.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Why? He has you!

Dr. Maura Isles:
When's the last time we had two stranglings in one day?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, cheer up. Maybe tomorrow'll be stabbing day.

Detective Barry Frost:
Korsak's calling me BBK. Barf Bag Kid. Crowe's leaving plastic puke everywhere.

Dr. Maura Isles:
You're not the first detective to be sickened by death. You just have to find your morgue legs.

Detective Barry Frost:
[nods] I read a study that said people can conquer this kind of thing with repeated exposure. Like, when you're afraid of dogs or flying.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Ah. Immersion therapy. Very effective. It worked for me.

Detective Barry Frost:
What were you afraid of?

Dr. Maura Isles:
People. Live ones. [turning to the body on her table] She'll never judge me, tease me. And I can help her. I can speak for the dead.

[first lines]

Television Reporter:
Thanks, Bill. Now let's take a look at traffic around the Boston area today. It's a light day because of the holiday. And even if you're heading to Logan Airport, the traffic is flowing even through the Williams Tunnel. If you're lucky enough to have the day off, it is one gorgeous day in Boston...

[last lines]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Maura is smiling at Jane after an awkward conversation with Lieutenant Grant] Oh, shut up.

Detective Kenny Leahy:
Detective, huh? I heard they was putting girls on the job.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, they even let us drive our own cars.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Was she dead before she was tossed?

Dr. Maura Isles:
That would be guessing

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I won't tell

Dr. Maura Isles:
Perfect enamel layer. No deterioration of the abutting gingiva

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
English!

Dr. Maura Isles:
She's a flosser

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Oh, yeah, he's fantastic. I want to kill myself. What's the best way?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Uh, atlanto-occipital disarticulation is very fast

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No idea what that is. What else you've got?

Dr. Maura Isles:
[next to the victim] Researchers at the University of Pittsburgh have proven that optimistic people live longer

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
So, she was a pessimist?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Ms. Westcourt? Police! Ms. Westcourt? Ms. Westcourt, I am detective Korsak. Don't know if you remember me?

Carol Westcourt:
How could I forget? It's not every day that your husband gets arrested for murder!

Dr. Maura Isles:
How you're feeling?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Okay. Tired. Bruised

[Gives Maura a present]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
It's the only thing I could afford without taking out a second mortgage

Dr. Maura Isles:
Susie, we have a new case. Danni Mitchell, she's a 25 year old woman who was found dead in her apartment

Susie Chang:
Either I am being punk'd or you're losing it!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, I never punk and I can assure you I am in full control of my faculties.

Susie Chang:
And I can assure you that Danni Mitchell is a case we started last week

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, we're gonna start this case again this week

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
How's it going?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Hey. This case is going down faster than the Titanic!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Is this why you called me down here?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No, I called you because you were right

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Of course I was! About what?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Well, maybe we don't need to be so hasty

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Why shouldn't we?

Detective Vince Korsak:
I've been over this guy's case files and one thing is very clear: he hates women! Last time I looked: you're a woman!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
It's easy to see how you made detective!

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
I hope so, because if this is random, it'll be like looking for a needle in a haystack! What are you gonna tell Paul?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
That we're knee deep in a very big haystack

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Bye, bye alibi

Detective Vince Korsak:
Later, later perpetrator!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
How does it go so wrong between two people who love each other so much?

Detective Vince Korsak:
You're asking a guy who has married three times?

[first lines]

Mandy Mateo:
[as she instant messages someone on her phone] Where am I? Where are you? You're at the park? Don't see you. [the phone rings. She answers] Crap. Hi, Mom. Yeah. I got Joey. We're on our way home. Yes, we'll do our homework. K. See you soon. Love you, too. Bye.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[fussing with her skirt] The cleaning lady put this in the dryer. It's vicuna wool. Who puts vicuna wool in a dryer? It's tight. Does it make me look fat?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yes. You look ginormous. I can't believe how fat you are. What, what, what do you weigh, like a hundred and fifteen pounds?

Dr. Maura Isles:
A hundred and sixteen point eight.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Wow, no wonder.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Really? 'Cause I've been craving carbohydrates lately. Maybe it's a hormonal imbalance.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maybe you don't have enough to do.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[softly, to the dead girl] Help me find Mandy. What am I not seeing that I need to see? [whispering] Sweet girl. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Detective Vince Korsak:
This whole thing's been a setup from start to finish. I don't get all this texting and U-ing and I'ming.

Detective Barry Frost:
IMing.

Detective Vince Korsak:
Whatever. But I'll tell you one thing. That kid was stalked. Whoever took her knew everything about her right down to her best friend's handle.

Detective Barry Frost:
Screen name.

Detective Vince Korsak:
Okay, will you stop correcting me? And think? About what it means?

Angela Rizzoli:
I made a fresh pot. [She serves coffee to Korsak and a sandwich to Nicole] Please eat.

Nicole Mateo:
You've really been so kind. [apologetic] Well, you can go home.

Angela Rizzoli:
I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm part of a cop family, too.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I am never getting married. Or having children.

Dr. Maura Isles:
You think that'll protect you?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No.

[last lines]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Now can we get a beer?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Guess what?

Dr. Maura Isles:
You know I can't guess.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I'm gonna have coffee Tomorrow!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Jane...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
And the next day!

Dr. Maura Isles:
You're impossible.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I know!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Enters Maura's home] Morning

Dr. Maura Isles:
Good morning! Coffee?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, I'd love some, but we have a dead girl in Kenmore Square!

Dr. Maura Isles:
We do? Oh, my phone must have been off!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[looks around] Hi Jack!

Jack Armstrong:
[from above] Morning Jane!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
He knows he can come down here, right?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, he can't actually, until he finds his pants! I've looked everywhere!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Nice, and on a school night no less!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Looks like Westcourt's car was at the hotel the night of the murder

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, that's a good alibi right?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
For his car!

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's really hard trying fit in! That's part of the reason that I spend my day with dead people

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
But why book a romantic getaway with a mistress you're planning to kill?

Detective Vince Korsak:
To make it look like you're not planning to kill her

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Reverse thread nuts are always tricky! If you turn the wrench the wrong direction you crack the porcelain

Detective Vince Korsak:
Sometimes I forget you're a plumber's daughter

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You know, I never thought I would say this: Thank you pop!

Angela Rizzoli:
I'm taking a class, eh, at night, eh, a cooking class

Jane Rizzoli:
Oh what kind of cooking?

Angela Rizzoli:
French

Maura Isles:
My favorite, pot-au-feu, choucroute, steak frite

Angela Rizzoli:
I know, I love it

Jane Rizzoli:
You love it? You love French food?

Angela Rizzoli:
Uhm hmm

Jane Rizzoli:
What other kind of French food do you love?

Angela Rizzoli:
Well, I like it all! French onion soup and French fries and French toast

Maura Isles:
I love the body farm! Isn't it amazing?

Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, in a "Walking Dead" sort of way. Who things of with something like this?

Maura Isles:
Well, the BCU just wanted a natural setting in order to study the decomposition of the dead bodies. I just wish it was here when I was at school

Vince Korsak:
Why is she so chipper this morning?

Jane Rizzoli:
What, are you kidding? This is like Disneyland to her

Vince Korsak:
[laughs] Yeah, plenty of dead bodies to play with and none of the long lines

Maura Isles:
From an academic perspective, Dr. Carlson is a highly respected forensic anthropologist

Jane Rizzoli:
From people's perspective, he's a dick!

Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, well, what is the wound consistent with?

Maura Isles:
Suicide by hanging

Jane Rizzoli:
Really? So, she hung herself and then drove her body over to the body farm and then tucked herself in under some garbage? I don't think that happened

Jane Rizzoli:
You know what? You go sit in his chair and tell him you're not leaving until he gives you the list

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
You got it

Nina Holiday:
And I'll go wait in my chair for the list to show up

Jane Rizzoli:
I will wait here in my chair for the list to show up

Vince Korsak:
This is my chair and I'll defend it to the death

Jane Rizzoli:
[while inspecting the apartment of a possible suspect] What'd you say if we tear this place apart?

Vince Korsak:
I thought you'd never ask!

Dr. Maura Isles:
There's the lake.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Nothing gets past you.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Take off your shirt.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Now I know you've suffered a head injury.

Dr. Maura Isles:
To bind the wound.

[first lines]

Sports reporter:
[voice-over] It's the bottom of the ninth. Can he do it? And it's gone! Home run, Manny Vega! Vega has done it! The upstart expansion team Boston Pilgrims will live in the shadow of the Red Sox no more! They are one game away from the playoffs!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Is it a suspicious death? What does your gut say?

Dr. Maura Isles:
I don't listen to my intestines.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura.

Dr. Maura Isles:
The murder weapon is a cylindrical, heavy, hard object.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[watching crime lab techs working on baseball bats across the hall] Gee, what could it be? Think it's a pipe?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Pipe is too thin.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What about a majorette's baton?

Dr. Maura Isles:
I'm glad that you find my scientific approach amusing.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Jesse Wade gave me his phone number. Maybe it's time to make a call.

Detective Barry Frost:
[laughing softly] Yeah. A booty call.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Really?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You spoke to Frankie?

Detective Barry Frost:
He's still goin' through all twelve dumpsters with every division detective we could spring loose.

Detective Vince Korsak:
Then why aren't you there? Oh, I know. Ooh, I hate eyeball fluid. Ooh, I'm afraid a' garbage.

Detective Barry Frost:
Why aren't you there? I know. Might mess up that nice sport coat from 1989.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[sighs] This is not CSI: Boston, Jane, okay. It's a very delicate process, and it's not always successful.

[last lines]

Dr. Maura Isles:
Would a check be okay, or would you feel safer with cash?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Cash. Cash is good.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Fine.

[Waitress brings a glass of wine for Jane and points to the gentleman on another table]

Dr. Maura Isles:
Thank you [Maura returns glass to waitress]

Dr. Maura Isles:
Come on! You know French women don't obsess for having an occasional glass of wine when they are pregnant

Dr. Maura Isles:
French women don't shave their under arms!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Good point

Dr. Maura Isles:
I will let him down easy. [Whispering to the man] She's a lesbian, gay!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
That's very open minded of him

Dr. Maura Isles:
She is also in her first trimester, pregnant!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Shut up! [Man looses interest] Well played!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Oh, I was just going to call you. I got a surprise here.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Oh, I like surprises!

Dr. Maura Isles:
That's a good one! Do you want to talk about it?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
We're talking about it!

Dr. Maura Isles:
We are?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura, we don't have the time for this. I need you to focus!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Explain to me again why I am not on my couch eating nachos?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, this case has me thinking: there is merry in planning for unforeseen circumstances

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Can't plan for unforeseen circumstances, hence the term unforeseen!

Dr. Maura Isles:
I am talking about preparation, not psychic interventions! Of course you can't know what the future holds

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
True. Cause I thought my future holds nachos, cheese and jalapenos, for example.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I begin to think we have the right to know

Detective Vince Korsak:
I think I have the right to my privacy!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
When did you become so secretly?

Detective Vince Korsak:
When did you become so nosy?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Have you met my mother?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Keep your voice down, alright, not everybody knows, you know!

Angela Rizzoli:
Well, maybe they should, so they stop sending you to very dangerous situations that could get you killed!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
That's kind in the job description, ma!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Maura is examining a dead body] Is the same knife that killed Helen?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, it appears that the apex of the incise wounds is indeed rough and uneven which would be consistent with what Helen suffered.

Detective Vince Korsak:
[to Rizzoli] Indeed is close to yes, right?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yes adjacent.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[Jane has been walking back and forth outside Maura's office to see if she notices her footsteps] *What* are you doing?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
How'd you know it was me?

Dr. Maura Isles:
You were clomping.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You recognized my clomping?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No. I heard clomping. I looked up. And I saw my best friend being weird.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[about the fact that one of Jane's legs might be longer than the other] You should get that looked at.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I don't want to get it looked at.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, it could cause damage to your back over time. Simple enough to lengthen the other leg.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I don't need to be taller, Maura. Men are already afraid of me enough as it is.

Dr. Maura Isles:
And you think it's because you're tall?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Warning Carlo to leave Maura alone] When Maura's father started causing problems, I *shot* him.

Carlo:
[the family cousin who's made a living by scamming people and just tried to do the same to Maura] See you at Christmas.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Don't threaten me.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[walks into her kitchen] Great news!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You're getting a dishwasher with only one button! Yay! No, okay, uhm [presses buttons] top and bottom rack, regular soil, air...

Dr. Maura Isles:
Don't air

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
But it has the little energy saving symbol next to it

Dr. Maura Isles:
I know, but it takes like 9 hours to finish and the sound of the fan drives me crazy

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Energy waster on [and closes the dishwasher] Uh, it takes less time to wash them by hand

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
He doesn't have a job and has two Lexuses [Maura frowns] or two Lexi

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Uh, Makes me want to give up on going to malls

Dr. Maura Isles:
You don't go to malls

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Mission accomplished

Jane Rizzoli:
[Frankie is making coffee] Did you read the label?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
I know how to make coffee

Jane Rizzoli:
Your last pot tasted like motor oil!

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
That was an anomaly! How was I to know those were espresso beans?

Jane Rizzoli:
By reading the label!

Jane Rizzoli:
[Entering the lab] How's it coming?

Maura Isles:
Good! I mean, not for him, he's dead

Maura Isles:
The thing is, no autopsy has been performed. And due to the backlog, there isn't one scheduled

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Uh, makes sense, big city

Jane Rizzoli:
So is Boston

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Yeah, but they don't have Maura: the Backlog Killer!

Maura Isles:
Thank you!

Dr. Hart:
Tell her about the disarticulation of the hyoid horns

Maura Isles:
In a strangulation like this, the hyoid bone can shift to a side. Which side depends on the whether the assailant is left- or right handed. This victim's pattern of disarticulation was the same as our victim's

Jane Rizzoli:
So, they were killed by the same person?

Maura Isles:
That's possible. But it is also possible that the victims were killed by two different, left hand dominant people

Dr. Hart:
Of roughly the same weight and physical build

Jane Rizzoli:
Because they were killed by the same person

Dr. Hart:
I wouldn't speculate

Maura Isles:
[to Maura] There are more of you!

Jane Rizzoli:
I don't know

Vince Korsak:
Well, I flew you to LA to find out!

Jane Rizzoli:
Oh, it wasn't for the breakfast burritos? 'Cause so far, that's all I like about this place, no offense

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Burritos for breakfast? This is so unfair

Maura Isles:
I keep hearing this phrase: "no worries".

Jane Rizzoli:
What's wrong with it?

Maura Isles:
I can't pin down the meaning. Is it social pleasantry like "you're welcome"?

Jane Rizzoli:
It's more like a blanket position, you know, like "no nukes". Agh, I'll tell you what I can't do? I can't live in a state where the flip-flop is the state shoe! And what's with the drumming? Everywhere! All I hear this drumming

Maura Isles:
Well, probably because of the drum circles

Dr. Hart:
Do you ladies think, that you'll be back again soon?

Jane Rizzoli:
When Malibu freezes over

Dr. Hart:
Malibu received .3 inches of snow in 2007

Jane Rizzoli:
It's not happening!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Referring to the murder victim who is dressed up like a super hero] Maybe Batman slipped when he tried to fly in and save his mistress in distress.

Detective Vince Korsak:
[Very serious] Batman didn't fly.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, he... leapt great distances in a... bat-like and heroic manner.

Detective Vince Korsak:
Yes, but that's not flying. Not like Superman.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Is she alive?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Yup

Dr. Maura Isles:
Then I'll take a look at the actual victim

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
And silphium is a plant

Detective Vince Korsak:
What a stupid thing to name a hotel after

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's a sex plant

Detective Vince Korsak:
Better, but still...

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
[Showing the keys of the handcuffs with which the wife was tied to the bed] Look what CSRU found when EMTs moved them

Detective Vince Korsak:
Where was it?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Between the mattress and the bed frame

Detective Vince Korsak:
Why put it there?

Nina Holiday:
So it doesn't get lost during the festivities [seeing Frankie and Korsak wonder] or so I hear

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
The Caped Crusader has a Nemesis

Dr. Maura Isles:
Yes

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Or Nemisi

Dr. Maura Isles:
That isn't the plural of Nemesis

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Doesn't matter, he's not a real superhero!

Dr. Maura Isles:
[Jane has to hit a dummy as hard as possible] Ready Susie?

Susie Chang:
Norm is ready, Detective Rizzoli

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Norm?

Susie Chang:
He's my uncle

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
My apologies Norm

Susie Chang:
Well, he... left my aunt for a barista

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Screw Norm!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Seems like a pretty big mistake in an otherwise buttoned-up crime

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
If criminals didn't make mistakes, we'd never catch them

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
True

Detective Vince Korsak:
How did you get this idea?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Frost! I know, I know you don't believe in that sort of things

Detective Vince Korsak:
This happens many more times, I'll have no choice

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You need to amp up the fun

Dr. Maura Isles:
Yeah, like great music could do that

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, get a jukebox

Detective Vince Korsak:
Got a jukebox in the back. It's busted though. I'm gonna get it fixed.It's got every tune ever done by Tiffany on it

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
That explains why it's busted

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Really? Statistics now?

Dr. Maura Isles:
There's comfort in numbers

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, this is a first

Detective Vince Korsak:
I've seen it once

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Is there anything that you haven't seen once before?

Detective Vince Korsak:
You cutting me slack

Detective Vince Korsak:
We've gone over all the accident reports. So far, no people or feet have been reported missing

Dr. Maura Isles:
I'll keep looking here

Detective Vince Korsak:
I'll keep looking everywhere else

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Jane doesn't like the ocean

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, that's not why, but I'll add it to the list

Nina Holiday:
I like the ocean, but don't get me started on lakes

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Why? Lakes are great!

Nina Holiday:
There's no current. Have you ever seen what settles on the bottom?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Great! Now you've ruined lakes

Angela Rizzoli:
Don't you think he's a little afraid too?

Margaret:
Louis? No! Mh, mmh, he's perfect

Angela Rizzoli:
Louis is a man? [Margaret nods yes] Yeah, well, then he's not perfect!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Enters lab] What's up?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Oh, you got your clothes back

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, I mean the scrubs were comfortable, but every time I got in an elevator someone wanted to tell me about their rash or their headache

Dr. Maura Isles:
And what would you say?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Drink some water, get some sleep

Dr. Maura Isles:
You're an excellent doctor

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Thank you

Detective Vince Korsak:
[Jane drops evidence on Vince's desk] New paperweight? Thanks!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Actual cause of death was poisoning. No needle marks, so it's likely he ingested it.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Any idea what it was?

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's from the phenethylamene family. But, I've never seen this exact combination.

Susie Chang:
We'll know soon though.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[Barely able to contain her excitement] Yes, we will.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Is the... fen... Ethel Merman fairy gonna tell you?

Dr. Maura Isles:
I'm afraid not. But, it is the perfect test run for our bio orbotron MS8000 mass spectrometer. [Smiling big] It's being delivered today.

Susie Chang:
[At Jane's thoroughly confused look] It is the most advanced chemical analyzer in the world.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Ultra high resolutions.

Susie Chang:
Recombinant glycol protein characterizations.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Feigning excitement] Oh my gosh! Remember when you girls got that new DNA splicer and you talked about it for weeks?

Dr. Maura Isles, Susie Chang:
[Extremely happy and excited] Yes!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
This is even more boring than that!

Jerry:
[In awe] You and me. Our minds are like one.

Nina Holiday:
[Thoroughly unimpressed] Not even a little bit.

Angela Rizzoli:
Yeah, I am free, I am single, I got new job and it's time I start to live it up a little. Don't worry Jane, I'm making more money now than I ever did. And I got three new credit cards this week!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yes, but mom, you do realize that you pay these off with real money, right?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You've been following him for the past 2 weeks. Who hired you?

Jerry:
I don't give up my client. Confidentiality issues

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You know that privilege doesn't extend to PIs, if you'd like to add obstruction...

Jerry:
Blyer's wife!

Angela Rizzoli:
I have customers!

Dr. Maura Isles:
So do I! Well, bodies

Alexandra:
Look, try to use just the two middle fingers. Like that. Alright, slowly, squeeze... [gunshot] Good, keep practicing [walks away]

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
I will

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Angry] You failed your shooting test on purpose?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
What? No way

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, either that or you're going blind, which from the way you're staring at her ass, I can see that's not the case!

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
It's no big deal, okay? I just needed a reason to have a couple of lessons with the new firearms instructor, Alexandra. Did you see her?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
This is sad on so many levels!

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
I just... I failed my shooting test! Again!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You know what? You keep screwing around, you're gonna regret it!

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
That's the thing. I really tried this time. It's Alexandra, she was standing so close to me I couldn't focus. All I could think about was coming up with the perfect line to ask her out

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
How about: "the only thing I love more than a woman in uniform is a woman out of uniform". That's always a winner

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Hmm. Hello! Tall, shiny and handsome

Dr. Maura Isles:
And he doesn't leave the toilet seat up. Jane Rizolli, I would like you to meet Bio-Orbitron MS-8000

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
This thing costs more than I make in a year, don't it?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Costs more than everyone makes in a year

Nina Holiday:
Which is strange

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Strange is good. Strange is our friend in a murder investigation

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
We should just talk to my mom together. You know, like a financial intervention

Dr. Maura Isles:
Look, why don't I just handle it, because you and your mother just argue when you talk about money

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Mother and I argue when we talk about the weather

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura, it's a weapon. It doesn't have to match your purse

Dr. Maura Isles:
Jane, accessories always have to match

Detective Barry Frost:
[to Maura] You got her to do yoga?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[sarcastically] No, it was my idea. I love yoga.

Maura Isles:
We had to leave before Ardha Chandrasana. I feel very unbalanced.

Jorge:
You're like a race car. Finely tuned. Beautiful. [whispering, leaning in for a kiss] Fast.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Not that fast.

Maura Isles:
Come on, Jane, Jorge's a catch.

Detective Vince Korsak:
If you don't want him, can I have him?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Jorge? Yeah, he's all yours. Maybe if I get fat, he'll stop calling.

Maura Isles:
I just think if you allow him to see all sides of you, then he'll stop calling. [Jane turns and stares at Maura] You know what, I just heard what that sounded like, and that is, what I meant to say was that human beings have good and bad traits, you know, and you have, you know, some characteristics that are a little not as, um, wow, fudge clusters!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maybe I should be a lesbian.

Maura Isles:
Aww, well wishes can come true. Frost and Korsak wanted to fill out your dating profile. I typed!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You what?

Maura Isles:
If it wasn't for me, you'd be butch.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura, we all love the fact that you dress like you're about to strut down a Paris runway. It's, it's... interesting.

Detective Barry Frost:
It's endearing.

Detective Vince Korsak:
Sexy. [Maura, Jane and Frost stare at him]

[first lines]

Brock:
[instructing his yoga class] And heels down.

[last lines]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[They are back in yoga class] You better hope this calms me down.

Maura Isles:
Well I could always tell him you like him.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Don't you dare. [playfully pushes Maura and apologizes to the yoga instructor as they go back and forth]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, looks like karma finally caught up to him.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Sanskrit word. A cycle of cause and effect. I think it originated in the Sramana tradition.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Do you have to do that?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Do what?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
That. That word thing you do.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Etymology?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You can't stop, can you?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You okay?

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's very distracting to work in a wrinkled dress.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[checking her phone] It's Maura. You wanna come to the autopsy?

Special Agent Gabriel Dean:
[mildly] That sounds lovely. Can that be our first date?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[laughing] Yeah, that's actually an offer I've never had before.

Dr. Maura Isles:
You're clearly trying to frighten me.

Charles Hoyt:
I am.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[leaning in] I'm not afraid of you.

Charles Hoyt:
[leaning in and whispering] I know. Because you're like me.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura, what is Frankie's face doing?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Movement of the outer orbicularis oculi pars lateralis. He's happy!

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
[laughing] What?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[slowly] I'm being hunted by a serial killer, and my little brother's occipital spatula is orbiting.

[first lines]

Charles Hoyt:
[stroking her face] Hey Jane. Oh it's okay, baby. Wake up, baby. [whispering and raising his scalpel] Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[last lines]

Newspaper headline:
Woman Killed After Attacking Two Police Officers

Charles Hoyt:
[reading the paper] Here we are again, Jane.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, whoever said that you feel great after a workout never went for a run in the middle of a heat wave

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, perspiration evaporates from the skin, it extracts the heat by vaporization in order to change into a gaseous state, resulting in a cooling effect

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
So, I need to run faster and sweat more to cool off?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Oh my AC sucks! It was so hot last night, I didn't get any sleep. You have central air-condition, right?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Yes, but I don't use it

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Why? Trying to make me feel bad?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Because I sleep in the nude

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Note to self: no follow-up questions!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Enters smelly bathroom] Ugh, heat waves and dead bodies do not mix!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Enters autopsy room] Ah, this is the coolest... [notices the onlookers] place in the building

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, the autopsy is on a separate system. Can't let the bodies deteriorate from the heat

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Whispers to Maura] Why do you have an audience?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Oh, well, they just wanted to observe an autopsy

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Orozco from media relations and Anders from the carriage unit?

Susie Chang:
Oh, hi detective Rizzoli

Dr. Maura Isles:
[to all] Welcome. You're just in time to hear the autopsy report

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
They are using you for your cool air

Dr. Maura Isles:
[Whispers back] I know, but I'll take any opportunity to get people interested in science!

Susie Chang:
It's hot, I won't poke the bear! Metaphorical speaking

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Thank you, Maura jr.

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
He's a millionaire

Nina Holiday:
[sighs] I'm not sure I can add properly with my brain on fire, but I think that's right

Detective Vince Korsak:
Well, the best lies are usually half truths, so maybe he was a drugs dealer

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Hipster drugs dealer laying low in Sobo

Nina Holiday:
Isn't that a bubble drink?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
No, that's Soba

Detective Vince Korsak:
No, no, no, the noodles are Soba. Bubble drinks are Boba

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Sobo is what the hipsters are calling South Boston

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
It's not a thing!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Did you know that all United States currency is printed on the cotton-linen blend paper made by Crane&Co, which they have been supplying since 1879?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yes. You know what else is a fun fact? Something that helps me catch the killer!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Is it still cool in your world?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Yes, and crowded! I can barely start a Rokitansky without 50 sweaty people watching over me

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, they're so much better up close

Dr. Maura Isles:
You think so?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maybe, if if I knew what a Rokifransky was

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Where does someone get $2,000,000 in cash? Is there some special teller window for that?

Detective Vince Korsak:
You're thinking of withdrawing the Rizzoli family fortune?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
In order to get $2,000,000 you must have $2,000,000

Angela Rizzoli:
Janie, I love you, but you are so nosey!

Maura Isles:
Hmm, true! [Jane frowns to Maura] Sorry, I was thinking out loud

Jane Rizzoli:
Not helping!

Jane Rizzoli:
You know what? Just if he sends flower, comes by or something, will you please let me know?

Maura Isles:
You want me to snoop?

Jane Rizzoli:
No, I would like for you to use your impeccable attention to detail

Vince Korsak:
We're investigating a homicide here. I know, you're not trying to stand in our way

Dale Mullins:
No, not at all! But unless you think one of my paintings murdered someone, this conversation is over, detectives

Nina Holiday:
Is there anything we can do to help?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
I don't know. Got a time machine? Go back in time and urge my mother to rethink her choice of husband

Jane Rizzoli:
[Arriving at the crime scene] Well, what do we got?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Not exactly the convivial greeting I was expecting

Maura Isles:
Well, a very good morning to you, sergeant Korsak

Jane Rizzoli:
Yes, it is a good morning. Not so much for him

Detective Vince Korsak:
Yeah, good point

Jane Rizzoli:
Well, everything seems to be in order. What made him stop?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Maybe he met someone. Could be a sexually liaison gone awry?

Jane Rizzoli:
Do you think so, Mr. Holmes?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Kiki suggested that I expand my vocabulary and not use cop talk all the time

Maura Isles:
There is a recent study that shows that the ability to recognize a voice diminishes with time. Almost 70% less in two weeks

Jane Rizzoli:
Well, then we should find whoever did this quickly. Please, no dawdling doctor

Maura Isles:
I don't know the meaning of that word. Well, of course I know the meaning of the word, I just meant that...

Jane Rizzoli:
I got it! Yeah

Detective Vince Korsak:
[while reading a book] And there is no evidence yet of any extramarital philandering

Jane Rizzoli:
Give it to me!

Detective Vince Korsak:
But it's a gift from Kiki

Jane Rizzoli:
[Takes the book] And you can have it back when you're promoted to Lieutenant. Right now I need you to speak like a real cop

Detective Mike Guthrie:
My first case as a detective. Ruth Simons, late 60's, was found beaten to death on the side of a pretty desolate road

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Aren't all roads in Main desolate?

Detective Mike Guthrie:
[Chuckles] Only the ones that go through the towns

Maura Isles:
I just knew that you would not approve of my field trip

Jane Rizzoli:
I do no approve and not just because I'm a cop, because I'm your friend. What you did could've been dangerous

Maura Isles:
I took your mother

Jane Rizzoli:
Which is dangerous in its own right

Dr. Maura Isles:
A dead person isn't gonna be any less dead if I wait for just a little bit

[Jane and Angela are playing gin, Maura walks in]

Dr. Maura Isles:
How are you feeling today?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Good, I have beaten my mother 30 consecutive times, so I am pretty good!

Angela Rizzoli:
Yeah, she cheating, I just don't know how!

Dr. Maura Isles:
You were right! This body is beautifully preserved!

Detective Vince Korsak:
I don't think I said beautiful, I'm pretty sure I compared it to beef jerky

Detective Vince Korsak:
Any idea how long she's been dead?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Difficult to say, more than two years, less than ten

Detective Vince Korsak:
Is that based on the dryness of the corpse?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No, the color of her shirt. That was a very popular style in the mid 0's

Detective Vince Korsak:
Hm, who says that fashion doesn't have a place in forensics

Dr. Maura Isles:
Certainly not me

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Tasha?

Tasha Williams:
Hi

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
This is Dr. Maura Isles. You spoke to her on the phone

Tasha Williams:
Hello. [Maura nods to Tasha] What's that thing?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
That? That is a hug-me-tight Teddy bear, you know, in case you are lonely

Tasha Williams:
I'm not really a hugger and that's not really a bear

Dr. Maura Isles:
I didn't want to say anything, but she's right. It's a Panda, Ailuropoda Melanoleuca

Tasha Williams:
Which literally translates to black and white cat foot, not bear foot, more close related to raccoons than to bears

Dr. Maura Isles:
Yeah, I'm afraid not, a recent international science study of DNA concluded that pandas are actually more closely related to spectacle bears from South-Africa than raccoons

Tasha Williams:
Maybe, but their skull and dental structures don't resembles bears, their feet don't have heel pads and they don't hibernate, so if they are bears, then they are all alone on their own little bear island

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
So we're agreed: it's part panda, part bear, part raccoon, part cat

Tasha Williams:
I'm not agreeing to that!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Jane, that's ridiculous!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yes, it is absolute ridiculous that a stuffed animal can be genetically incorrect!

Detective Vince Korsak:
I called her doctor, he wouldn't talk to me! Do you have better luck?

Dr. Maura Isles:
The thread of an official visit from a medical examiner works every time

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
[giggles] Yeah, who want you sitting in their waiting room, right?

Dr. Maura Isles, Detective Vince Korsak:
[Korsak and Maura frown at Frankie]

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
No! Not... you... it's, it's office...

Dr. Maura Isles:
Sorry, I get it, I get it!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I am so tired, my taste buds are asleep. What are we eating?

Dr. Maura Isles:
A gluten-free almond cookie

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Uh, so it is supposed to taste like cardboard

Dr. Maura Isles:
You are looking for something with a sharp tip, although the wound is not precise laterally

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
So a knife with a pointing tip and dull sides

Dr. Maura Isles:
I did not say a knife

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
We are looking for, eh, an SPT

[Frost & Korsak look puzzled]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
A sharp pointy thing

Dr. Maura Isles:
I am comfortable with that, yes

Jane Rizzoli:
Enough already... you'll only be gone for three days

Dr. Maura Isles:
You're pregnant! Your vitamining for two. Do we need to revisit the pictures of the iron deficiencied spleen?

Jane Rizzoli:
I am so excited for your medical examiners convention! Is there anything I can do that will help you get out of the door?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Take you pyridoxine! [Hands box of pills to Jane]

Jane Rizzoli:
Is that the one that looks like Fred Flintstone or Barney Rubble?

Susie Chang:
I can't say

Jane Rizzoli:
Well, take a guess

Susie Chang:
I am a scientist

Jane Rizzoli:
So is Maura! She does it

Susie Chang:
I am not Dr. Isles

Jane Rizzoli:
I know that, but she's not here, so throw out a theory, stretch your wings, grow, stick out and shine

Susie Chang:
That's a mixed metaphor!

Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, see, there you go, that's very Maura

Jane Rizzoli:
Wow, it looks like you're having fun

Dr. Maura Isles:
Jane, it's a nightmare! Carla is out of control! And wrecked my room. And now they think I am this crazy party person!

Jane Rizzoli:
You're not?

Jane Rizzoli:
Susie, I was just coming to talk to you

Susie Chang:
Oh, ehm, I am not there, I am here, to show you how I shine

Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, great [they walk into a room] What's that?

Susie Chang:
It's my theory

Jane Rizzoli:
Your theory is in a box?

Susie Chang:
It's a diorama [turns the opening of the box towards Jane]

Jane Rizzoli:
Oh, D-I-E

Susie Chang:
Yes!

Jane Rizzoli:
For dead people

Susie Chang:
Well, not all of them are dead, but it's a representation of how it got to be

Jane Rizzoli:
It's amazing!

Jane Rizzoli:
Well, can you at least talk about what it is the two of you are doing here?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Susie is pursuing an interesting line of inquiry, a forensic examination of the victims

Jane Rizzoli:
Victims? What, what victims?

[Susie points to the watermelons]

Jane Rizzoli:
Those are not victims, those are watermelons!

Susie Chang:
I am conducting a fruitopsy

Dr. Maura Isles:
That's funny!

Jane Rizzoli:
Hilarious, I'll check in later. I am going to get a susdictionary!

Angela Rizzoli:
Hey Vince! [reads over the shoulder of Vince]

Detective Vince Korsak:
Angela! [quickly closes the folder]

Angela Rizzoli:
Well, you can keep it from me, Vince, but you can't keep it from yourself

Detective Vince Korsak:
It's a lot more complicated that the loss of an old friend, Angela.

Angela Rizzoli:
Complications, secrets, pain, happiness, they are the spices in the soup. You leave one out, it doesn't taste as good

Detective Vince Korsak:
[Opens folder and points to photo] Peter & Vince! We had a meeting with an A&R record guy from Ney York. He took us out of the town, wined us, dined us. The end of the night Peter wanted to go home, wanted to see his wife and kid, but not me. I was flying, I didn't want that night to end. I let him walk home alone, drunk. He took a short cut, cross some railroad tracks, he fell, he hit his head, never woke up. It snowed that night, took a couple of days to find his body. So, how do I tell Bobby I killed his grandfather?

Angela Rizzoli:
Oh, come on Vince, you know that's not true

[Jane and Maura are looking at another diorama of Susie]

Dr. Maura Isles:
At least I am to scale

Jane Rizzoli:
You are so, so not to scale! Look at those things at your chest!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Those 'things' are perfect in both form and balance. Look at you, you are all legs!

Jane Rizzoli:
Well, I am exactly to scale as Susie doesn't guess

Dr. Maura Isles:
She does now!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[at a spa with Maura] I can't believe I let you talk me into this.

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's good for you.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Taking a dirt bath seems sort of, I don't know, unhealthy.

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's clay, not dirt. Seventy-five percent American colloid, HPM twenty, and twenty-five percent western bentonite. From Utah.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Ohh, it's from Utah. Well. Why didn't you say so. Spending eighty bucks to be submerged in Utah dirt is still a waste of money.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[after coming home to Angela testing out old paint on her apartment wall] This reminds me of the time that I asked for a bunk bed and you surprised me with a pink canopy.

Angela Rizzoli:
I thought you loved that bed!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I asked for a bunk bed because I wanted to build a fort, Ma, and I didn't wanna hurt your feelings. Ugh. I wish you knew I hate pink!

Angela Rizzoli:
[referring to a paint sample on Jane's wall] It's begonia!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Then I hate begonia, too.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I'm female.

Detective Barry Frost:
Yes. Yes you are.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What's the fastest way to push this guy's buttons?

Detective Barry Frost:
Let's mix it up. You be good cop. I'll be black cop.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[snorts] Bold choice.

Detective Barry Frost:
Yeah. Maybe Tracy can't get pregnant with Hank.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, and decides to do in vitro with donor eggs and sperm.

Dr. Maura Isles:
No no, she had quite robust reproductive organs.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[to Frost] Do you find that sexy in a woman? Robust reproductive organs?

Detective Barry Frost:
First thing I look for.

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
I know Guardian Chogokin is in your drawer. It's going for five hundred dollars on Ebay. You ripped off my mother.

Detective Barry Frost:
He doesn't even have the sword, man. Okay, okay, you know what, if it gets you to shut it, I'll give your mom the three eighty.

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
He wasn't for sale!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Can you fight over the doll after we've solved this murder?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Action figure.

[first lines]

Tracy:
No please no!

[last lines]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[back at the spa with Maura, who is playfully flicking clay] You stop. Stop it, or they're going to charge us for the robes again.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Did you really like him?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No!

Dr. Maura Isles:
What?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, I said yes the first seventeen times you asked something, apparently it's the wrong answer.

Detective Vince Korsak:
What about the weapon? Can you determine it's the same for both murders?

Dr. Maura Isles:
You know I can't answer that question now, sergeant!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
We know, but it never gets old asking!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You called?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Hi Jane, you met Nina?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No, hi, Jane Rizzoli

Nina Holiday:
Rizzoli? Like...

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Yup, I'm the reason the department has a nepotism policy

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No, you're the reason the department get rid of vending machines!

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Nice!

Nina Holiday:
And I have got a bot searching FBI wiretaps looking for the names of local guys who might have done the hit. It's a long shot, but...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, I don't know what a "bot" is, but I appreciate the offer!

Vince Korsak:
Nice jacket

Jane Rizzoli:
It was all Maura's idea

Maura Isles:
I never mentioned fringe

Vince Korsak:
Victim is at the bottom of the hill

Maura Isles:
Thank you, sergeant [and walks away]

Vince Korsak:
You're messing with her?

Jane Rizzoli:
[giggles] Yeah! I am making a point and it's always so much more fun to amuse myself while I do it

Maura Isles:
These are spiral fractures. The twisting pattern is caused by pressure being exerted by a moving object

Jane Rizzoli:
Like someone was stepping on his fingers?

Maura Isles:
That would account for the pattern. In fact I believe it's likely that the damage was done by a rubber soled hiking boot

Jane Rizzoli:
Dr. Isles! Are you actually speculating about how this damage was inflicted?

Maura Isles:
I don't need to speculate. I have science

Nina Holiday:
26, 27, no 28

Jane Rizzoli:
What's up?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Uh, you're not gonna believe this!

Nina Holiday:
29

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
No way

Nina Holiday:
30

Jane Rizzoli:
What's going on?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Nina unlocks Stuarts phone and it's weird: there's no email, no calendar programs, no apps but there is a lot of texts

Nina Holiday:
31

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Now that's just greedy

Jane Rizzoli:
31 what?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Women!

Jane Rizzoli:
What?

Nina Holiday:
Not just women. Girlfriends! 32

Jane Rizzoli:
Stuart Crane had 32 girlfriends?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Stuart wasn't just reading Don Juan. The guy was Don Juan

Vince Korsak:
[reading a threatening text] "You home wrecking a**hole! I'll cut off your..." OOOH!

Jane Rizzoli:
That's some colorful language

Nina Holiday:
Definitely not medical advisable

Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, well you said that keeping your farther's secret is the reason that you break out in hives when you tell a lie, right?

Maura Isles:
It's a working hypothesis

Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, so let's test it out. Lie to me!

Maura Isles:
What?

Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah. Say something. Anything! But make it big, so it counts. And then we'll see if you break out in hives

Maura Isles:
Jane...

Jane Rizzoli:
LIE TO ME!

Maura Isles:
[hesitates] I really like your new jacket. Fringe has always been one of my favorite

Jane Rizzoli:
[Gasps] Ooh! Are you itchy?

Maura Isles:
Not yet

Jane Rizzoli:
[mobile buzzes, reads text] Okay, I got to go. But, this is good! Keep lying alright? [starts walking away] Keep it up. Maybe it's a breakthrough or something. Oh, hey, that whole fringe jacket thing? I'm not keeping it. I was just messing with you

Maura Isles:
[to herself] Jane, I love it when you play pranks on me [and looks for the hives on her arm]

Vince Korsak:
Hey, are you free tomorrow night?

Jane Rizzoli:
Yes! Anything to get me out of Frankie's apartment

Vince Korsak:
Are you at each other's throats?

Jane Rizzoli:
Yes, he's just like, you know "Don't drink my beer", "Put your pizza box away". He is bossier than Ma

Vince Korsak:
Well, it is his apartment

Jane Rizzoli:
Oh, that's nice! Take his side! What's tomorrow night?

Vince Korsak:
You want to meet Kiki?

Jane Rizzoli:
Well, it's about time

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
[to burglar] Turn around! This is the part where you put your hands on your head

Jane Rizzoli:
Are you sure we're talking about Ma? 'cause that is shockingly rational advice

Maura Isles:
What? Your mother can be very rational

Jane Rizzoli:
We're talking about the same person who thinks she started the Led Zeppelin riot in 1975

Maura Isles:
[giggles] Well, we can't proof she didn't

Maura Isles:
There are plenty of other options. I think you should come with me and we'll make a day out of it

Jane Rizzoli:
Hmm, hmm, [cynical] I can't wait

Maura Isles:
Oh, I think I just found the perfect treatment for you

Jane Rizzoli:
I bet you 5 bucks you're wrong

Maura Isles:
Vino-rejuvenation, using the free radicals and antioxidants found in grapevines. And each treatment comes with wine

Jane Rizzoli:
How much wine? [picks up phone] Rizzoli

Maura Isles:
Your very own bottle! [picks up phone] Isles

Jane Rizzoli:
[whispers to Maura, covering the phone] Do you get the wine before the treatment?

Maura Isles:
[whispers back] Yeah

Jane Rizzoli:
You win!

Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, I'll make a deal with you: I'll go to this spa whatever it's called, if you go to a Patriots game with me

Maura Isles:
[laughs] That hardly seems like a fair trade-off

Jane Rizzoli:
I know, but I'm willing to suffer through a massage, because I am a giver

Jane Rizzoli:
[enters lab with a cup] Hey, I... I heard you're half-caff caramel macchiato man

Kent Drake:
You didn't spit in it, did you?

Jane Rizzoli:
Do I look like someone who would be that immature... please, don't answer that!

Jane Rizzoli:
Where did the wife's family get all her money?

Vince Korsak:
Her family invented clothespin

Jane Rizzoli:
You're messing with me

Vince Korsak:
What? You think these things invented themselves?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I think we've found the body that goes to that ear.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well I'm not prepared to say conclusively until I've tested tissue samples.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura he's got one ear!

Dr. Maura Isles:
[urgent whispering] I have to pee!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You better be telling the truth.

Dr. Maura Isles:
All mammals have to pee.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Why couldn't we dress up like call girls? They look so cute!

Detective Vince Korsak:
Show me a beautiful woman, I'll show you a husband who's tired of sleeping with her.

Angela Rizzoli:
[at the bar, pitching a health drink] Do you get tired in the afternoon? Forget where your keys are, your phone? Well, Polynesian people are among the healthiest and happiest people in the planet. Now, science knows why. And it comes in a bottle.

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
[watching] How long's this been going on?

Detective Vince Korsak:
A while. I got the two bottle special.

Dr. Maura Isles:
These people are not the enemy.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, neither was Columbus. Tell that to the Native Americans he killed with smallpox.

Dr. Maura Isles:
The Fairfields helped build this city.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
My grandfather was an ironworker. He helped build this city.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Hey. [offering Maura a bar of chocolate] Got 24-carot gold flakes in it.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Are you making fun of me?

Sumner Fairfield:
[to Korsak and Frost] Fairfields'll do a lot of things to each other, detective. Brothers don't kill brothers.

Garrett Fairfield:
[to Maura] Fairfields'll do a lot of things to each other, but brothers don't kill brothers.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Mmm, branzino. With a Mugnier reduction.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Oh, ugh, it's looking at me, like I personally put the hook in. How am I supposed to eat that?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Use your fish knife. It's next to the melon spoon.

[first lines]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You believe in love at first sight?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Immediate attraction is pure narcissism.

[last lines]

Dr. Maura Isles:
[trying beer for the first time] That's delicious!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Right? Wait 'til you try a spuckie.

Dr. Maura Isles:
I don't know what that is, but it sounds really...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Why are you doing the autopsy on a Sunday? Did they cancel all the kundalini-pulao-riku-yoga classes?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Kundalini is sacred energy work, pulao is a savory rice dish and I'm pretty sure that you made up that last word

Dr. Maura Isles:
[hands Jane an invitation] I want you to be my guest

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Won't I embarrass you?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Probably. But haven't I embarrassed you?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No... more than half a dozen times. [reads the invitation] "Cocktail dress requir..." Can't I just go like this?

Dr. Maura Isles:
If you're going to embarrass me, at least do it in the proper clothes!

Detective Vince Korsak:
[Referring to the victim] Jeweler to the rich and famous.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
How famous?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Rappers. Athletes. Young people with a lot of money and no understanding of understatement.

Dr. Maura Isles:
What I say cannot leave this room.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What you say cannot *fit* in this room.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Referring to Maura's adoptive father] Want me to shoot him?

Dr. Maura Isles:
I do. I really do.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Okay.

Dr. Maura Isles:
But, instead maybe I'll talk to him first.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Fine. But, let me know if you change your mind.

Dr. Maura Isles:
We'll see how the talk goes. [pause] Otherwise, you are very good at shooting my relatives.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Maura's phone rings, she doesn't react, Jane looks at it] Ooh, oh, A.I.! Artificial Intelligence. You're getting a call from the future.

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's actually from the past. It's my father, Arthur

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Let me guess, all the partygoers ran out when he called 911?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Like the wind

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Kitchen staff?

Detective Vince Korsak:
What's faster than the wind?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Kitchen staff with visa problems? [Korsak gives a thumbs up]

Dr. Maura Isles:
[Jane comes rushing into the lab] Oh, I've been thinking about your wardrobe. And I was wrong about starting on ensembles. You're not an ensemble person. You just need a few high quality pieces and we build from there

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I just need a new pair of pants. Is this why you brought me down here?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
So, the diamond flakes have anything to do with why he's dead?

Kent Drake:
No, it's just a little factoid, plated for your edification

Dr. Maura Isles:
Thank you, Kent

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You two should get married and then have children that get their butts kicked on the tetherball court

Detective Vince Korsak:
Erase another one from the chalkboard

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
We have a chalkboard?

Detective Vince Korsak:
We used to! It was very satisfying

Detective Vince Korsak:
Too bad it's not a crime to be stupid

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Prisons would be full and streets would be empty

Detective Vince Korsak:
[laughs] Yeah

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Because you have absolutely no poker face

Dr. Maura Isles:
Yes, I do!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Have you every beaten me at cards?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
You know, if you and I went rogue, I think we would make pretty good criminals

Detective Vince Korsak:
You?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Yeah

Detective Vince Korsak:
The guy who hates to cut in line?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Well, I'm not saying I'm going to the dark side, but I think I'd be pretty good at it. If I wanted to, which I don't!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Maura explains something in the lab, Kent suddenly pops up] Jeez, what the hell?

Kent Drake:
Puffer fish actually tastes quite delicious

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What you're doing?

Kent Drake:
I was looking for my pen. A little tense, are we?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
A little weird, are we?

Kent Drake:
It actually just tastes like chicken. Any more questions?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
So many

Kent Drake:
Alright, fine, I'll be getting back to my work then [leaves the lab]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I mean, I don't want to paint the netire country with one brush, but that Scottish guy? Weird!

Dr. Maura Isles:
That's unimportant

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Okay

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
[Jane is moving in with Frankie in his apartment] Janie, we can make this work, we just have to lay down some ground rules

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Ground rules?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Yeah. For instance, see that drawer?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Don't open it

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Okay [Frankie turns around, Jane opens it]

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Ah! See? That was a test! You failed! Now you will never know the location of my secret drawer

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Can I use your computer?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Of course

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Good, I'm gonna stay at a hotel

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
No, no, no, stop, stop. Look, we can do this. We just have a few more rules, right?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[sighs] Okay

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Dishes in the sink, rinse! If you finish my cereal, replace it. And please don't dry your brassiere in my shower

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, please don't ever say the word "brassiere", Francis

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Don't call me that

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Fine, Franklin

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
That's not even my name [Knocking]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, can I open the door or is there a rule against that too? [Frankie allows, Jane opens door]

Dr. Maura Isles:
Hey

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Hey, glad you are here, you can help me find Frankie's porn drawer

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
It's a secret drawer

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
That means it's weird porn [Maura and Frankie start hughing] Don't touch her brassier

Dr. Maura Isles:
Why would he touch my brassiere?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
He has a thing

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
I don't have a thing

Dr. Maura Isles:
You know, you couldn't be happier if I told you that I magically turned all the lattice in the world into beer

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Make it happen, we'll find out

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, but as my best friend and a doctor, would you do me one favor?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Anything

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Put me in a medical induced coma

Dr. Maura Isles:
I'm going to the market

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Just one little coma, is that really too much to ask?

Dr. Maura Isles:
You have better luck asking me to give you oxycontin

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Augh! Well, can I have some of those then?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
And then she wanted to massage my feet

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, that's very nice!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yes, when I was three! Now it's a little weird

[Jane is secretly reading a file hidden in a magazine]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What you're doing ma?

Angela Rizzoli:
Just wondering what grabbed your attention

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Ehhh... [reads the magazine's cover] I was just reading this fascinating article: Ten Ways to Please my Man and make him happy as a clam [looks away and spots a candle] with a candle [sheepishly turns back to Angela]

Angela Rizzoli:
[Spota the same candle] Oh, that's a new one

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
It's fascinating stuff!

Angela Rizzoli:
Hmm, the candle or the clam?

[Jane calls Frankie]

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Hey

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
About Korsak's case...

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
How about: hello, how are you?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Hello! And about Korsak's case...

Dr. Maura Isles:
The original chemist tested 38 materials inside the Sullivan home: dry wall, door cells, fabric, foam, plastic...

Detective Vince Korsak:
Are you gonna list all the materials he tested?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Yes!

[Korsak looks puzzled]

Dr. Maura Isles:
This is usually when Jane says: "Get to the point!" before she's overcomes with the urge to strangle me with her bare hands

Detective Vince Korsak:
I miss her!

Nina Holiday:
Detective Rizolli! Great to have you back at work!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Oh! I am not back at work at all!

Nina Holiday:
You look fantastic anyway!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Thank you, Nina [Nina leaves]

Dr. Maura Isles:
You look... not... like... you... at all!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, what's the vibe you getting like? Stuffy? Uptight? Professional?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Wait a minute, that's... that's my suite! What do you mean: stuffy? And that's my blouse!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, I didn't think you would mind, I have never seen you wore this outfit

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, that's because it isn't an outfit! The blouse is evening wear, that suite is for work, which is why the skirt is knee length or at least that's supposed to be! Okay Jane, what's really going on here?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What do you mean?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Why are you dressed like a flight attendant?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
First of all I am dressed like a librarian! I am wearing glasses on a chain, for God sake! Have you ever checked out a book?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, have you ever been on a plane? Because that scarf you are wearing screams: "In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can also be used as a floatation device"

[Jane takes the scarf off]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Is that better?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Much

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Good! I got to be 100% librarian to pull this off [Jane runs away]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
To pull what off? What just happened?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Why don't you just test them now? Oh,. I know, get it all out, rules, policy, bla, bla, bla

Detective Vince Korsak:
Oh, no! No, no, no! Right now I am so grateful that you're so stubborn you don't care getting fired

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Will get fired?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Probably rule 110, section 27: Officers on Medical Leave?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Jason Sullivan? Sergeant detective Korsak, Boston homicide

Jason Sullivan:
Oh my God! Something happened to my wife? My son?

Detective Vince Korsak:
No, no, no, the're fine! I am sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Hi ma

Angela Rizzoli:
Hi, how come you're dressed up like... a flight attendant?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Librarian!

[Jane is preparing to go back to work]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Are you ready ma?

Angela Rizzoli:
I feel the same as I did on your first day of school: sending you out into a world where I can't be there to take care of you!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
And I was fine that day and I'll be fine today

Angela Rizzoli:
No! You came home missing a front tooth, fighting with that Murphy boy!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, he started it! Besides the tooth was loose anyway

Angela Rizzoli:
Oh, you could always take care of yourself, Jane. Go ahead, go knock them dead

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I am a homicide detective ma, they're already dead!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Don't be a smart ass!

Detective Barry Frost:
How can you be this big animal lover and eat their flesh?

Detective Vince Korsak:
I'm a complicated man.

[first lines]

Professor Dwayne Cravitz:
[conducting a Revolutionary War reenactment] Forward! March! Halt! Make ready! Aim! Fire!

Dr. Maura Isles:
You should change.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Alright, I'll change in the car.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Then I'm driving.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Aw, come on, I hate it when you drive.

Dr. Maura Isles:
I hate it more when you undress and drive.

Professor Dwayne Cravitz:
I was merely attempting to move this artillery piece out of your way! Commanding Officer General Ezekiel Parker of the Sixteenth Brigade.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[shaking his hand] I'm Martha Washington. Let me see your driver's license.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[grumbling] I can't believe I let you talk me into wearing this. I don't think this thing's been washed since 1776.

Dr. Maura Isles:
You're just not used to the linsey-woolsey fabric. I told you to wear the silk polonaise.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Oh yeah, the whale bones diggin' into my b*obs woulda been much more comfortable.

Detective Vince Korsak:
The wig's kinda scratchy, but we totally blend in.

Detective Barry Frost:
[looking around at all the white faces] Yeah. Totally.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Oh. How long have you been eating these? [picks up Korsak's box of crackers]

Detective Vince Korsak:
Couple weeks. Part of my whole new health regime.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[laughs] It's not a heart attack, Sergeant.

Detective Barry Frost:
What?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[in unison with Frost] What?

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's gas. And given the fiber content, I imagine quite a lot.

Detective Barry Frost:
[laughs] He's been makin' enough to float the Hindenburg.

Constance Isles:
I sense that, um, there's something you'd like to say to me.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, there is. I don't like seeing my best friend hurt.

Constance Isles:
You think I hurt her?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Not staying with her? Canceling dinner? Forgetting to put her on the list of your installation. Yeah, I think that hurts her.

Constance Isles:
She's the Chief Medical Examiner. She has her own life. You're both out there working an important case. It's all over the news. I didn't want to be in her way. She must know how proud I am of her. How much I love her.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Not really the signals you're sending.

[last lines]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You want a peanut? They're really good.

Constance Isles:
Thank you.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[joking] Have someone come by and shell them for you.

[Maura was going to help Frankie with his anxiety over the detective's exam, but got called away on a case]

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
It's okay, I didn't want to be a detective anyway.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Then why is he taking the exam?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
That's sarcasm.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Using irony to convey contempt?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Are you trying to drive me crazy?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[angry at Warden Price] He called me hysterical.

Detective Barry Frost:
I'm surprised his balls aren't in his throat.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[after chasing down their killer] I told you to stay put.

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
No, you told me to stay in the car.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Nice move, little brother.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Y'know, female commissioned officers are addressed as Ma'am. It's a sign of respect.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Sir is a sign of respect. Ma'am is for fat old cat ladies.

Angela Rizzoli:
Are you talking about me?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[annoyed] Do you have a cat?

Angela Rizzoli:
[pause] No.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No. Stay away from Giovanni.

Dr. Maura Isles:
No? [pause] Oh, this is a dibs thing!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
A dibs thing? Really? Okay. Tell me what you have in common with him. Alright. He's a blue-collar Boston-Italian auto mechanic.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well so are you! Well, except for being an auto mechanic, and we're best friends.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yes, but I'm interesting. And you don't wanna sleep with me. [Maura gives her a look] Do you?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No. No! But that's my point. That's all I wanna do with Giovanni!

Detective Vince Korsak:
Detective Frost. I have a Navy Admiral here to see you.

Detective Barry Frost:
I got this, Sergeant Detective. [pause] Dad. What are you doing here?

Admiral Frost:
I'm here for the immediate release of Petty Officer Salerno.

Detective Barry Frost:
Yeah, nice to see you, too.

Giovanni Gilberti:
You look hot. You smell hot, too.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[laughs softly] Thank you.

Giovanni Gilberti:
I love talking to you. I could talk to you all night. But right now, babe, all I wanna do is get you naked and lick your face.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[taken aback] Lick my face.

Giovanni Gilberti:
Come to daddy.

Detective Vince Korsak:
He ever tell you you were great at what you do?

Detective Barry Frost:
[thinks about it] No.

Detective Vince Korsak:
Well. I'm gonna tell you, you are a damn fine detective.

Detective Barry Frost:
You don't have to be my dad.

Detective Vince Korsak:
I'm not old enough to be your dad.

Detective Barry Frost:
Yeah, well, I'm too good lookin' to be your wife.

[first lines]

Angela Rizzoli:
[to drivers honking at Navy sailors] Oh, leave them alone! They're serving our country!

[last lines]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[to Giovanni] We'll let you know.

Maura Isles:
I'm not seeing him.

Jane Rizzoli:
Yet.

Maura Isles:
Somebody should. Don't you think?

Jane Rizzoli:
Yap.

Maura Isles:
Should we draw straws?

Jane Rizzoli:
Couldn't we just show him our tits and let him decide?

Jane Rizzoli:
Why are you so interested in Hoyt?

Special Agent Gabriel Dean:
That's need to know.

Jane Rizzoli:
Seriously? You fed guys actually say that?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[to Maura as she answers the door in the middle of the night] Why do you always look like you're about to do a photoshoot?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Did you ever like the same guy as your best friend?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Did you ever have a best friend?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You'd tell me if you were a cyborg, right?

Dr. Maura Isles:
[thinking] No, I don't think I would.

Jane Rizzoli:
[suddenly seeing something on Maura's kitchen floor] God, what is that?

Maura Isles:
Shhh. You'll scare him.

Jane Rizzoli:
He's alive?

Maura Isles:
His name is Bass. Geochelone sulcata. African spurred tortoise. I've had him since he was like this big. Partial to British strawberries. [She crouches down, offering the large tortoise a fresh berry]

Jane Rizzoli:
Bass? What, after an old boyfriend?

Maura Isles:
William M. Bass. The forensic anthropologist who founded the famous body farm.

Jane Rizzoli:
Right, yeah, that, that Bass.

Special Agent Gabriel Dean:
Uh, did you eat dinner?

Jane Rizzoli:
I can't remember.

Special Agent Gabriel Dean:
Well, are you hungry? For food?

[first lines]

Jane Rizzoli:
[making a basket against Frankie] Oh! Finally!

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
You're still down by ten.

Jane Rizzoli:
I will beat you someday.

[last lines]

Jane Rizzoli:
[jokingly, to Maura] These are my going out clothes. [to Joe Friday] Come on! Keep going, go on.

Maura Isles:
Wikipedia is frequently incorrect. Very little of what they write is rigorously peer-reviewed.

Angela Rizzoli:
Here [hands over an ice bag] It won't be attractive if your nose swells up. You may never know who you might run into

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Ma!

Angela Rizzoli:
What?

Jane Rizzoli:
'Cause I meet so many great guys at work. Too bad they're all dead

[Jane has reluctantly been forced to bring Angela to a crime scene]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Stay in the car.

Angela Rizzoli:
I won't embarrass you.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Thirty years of experience says otherwise.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Did you play sports?

Dr. Maura Isles:
[proudly] Ballet. And fencing.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Those aren't sports.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Yes they are! What did you play?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Field Hockey. I was an Attacker.

Dr. Maura Isles:
I'm sure you were very aggressive.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[confused then amused] Attacker is a position. [smiling]

Angela Rizzoli:
Can you help me get the Buick back? You're a Police Officer!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I'm a Homicide Detective! Are you planning on killing the car dealer?

Angela Rizzoli:
I might.

Angela Rizzoli:
I didn't think you talked to anyone like that but me.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Is that Mom-speak for Thank you?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[skeptically examining a sandwich] Is this from the good fridge, or the dead people fridge?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Cold air is cold air.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Ohh. Doctor Maura Isles. Knuckle deep in germy bar snacks, I'm shocked.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Oh, I had representative samples tested. Bacteria count fell within acceptable limits. Want one?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Must be very complicated to be you.

Dr. Maura Isles:
You have no idea.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I applied to BCU.

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's very hard to get into.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I got in.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Why didn't you go?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Wanted to be a cop.

Dr. Maura Isles:
What's the real reason?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
My father would have spent everything to send me there. I couldn't do that to him.

[first lines]

Danielle Davis:
[on her cell] Oh, it's fine. [pause] Yeah, I knew the beginning part, so I felt good about that. [pauses, listening] Mm-hm. Well I didn't have enough time for both of the essays but, I still think I did really well. [stops short, seeing something] I'll call you back. [hangs up]

[last lines]

Dr. Maura Isles:
I think that's really... that's really sweet.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Oh. Oh gross. Okay, give me the wine.

Dr. Maura Isles:
What?

Angela Rizzoli:
I won't embarass you!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Thirty years of experience says otherwise.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
It must be very complicated to be you.

Maura Isles:
You have no idea.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[Looking at Angela's steaming car engine] I would suspect it's a ring job

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
How much?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Uh, three, maybe four...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Hundred?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Thousand

Angela Rizzoli:
Oh! Oh God, your father is gonna kill me

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Tell him not to do when I'm on call

Jane Rizzoli:
[Maura is picking an outfit for Jane] Looks like it came out of your grandmother's closet

Maura Isles:
You said stylish and demure

Jane Rizzoli:
I have never used the word: demure!

Maura Isles:
Okay, then [picks another dress] this will be perfect

Jane Rizzoli:
I'm interviewing with a condo board, I'm not auditioning for The Bachelor!

Vince Korsak:
[At crime scene, Jane walks in with her dress, Korsak uses exact same words as Maura] Hey, sophisticated with just a touch of va-voom!

Jane Rizzoli:
She texted you?

Vince Korsak:
Yeah, we're just trying to be supportive

Jane Rizzoli:
Well, let's just try to be detectives

Maura Isles:
[Jane still in her va-voom dress] Question: where do you keep your gun?

Jane Rizzoli:
Oh, don't ask!

Angela Rizzoli:
So, how is it going, with you and Jane living under the same roof?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Not bad! We're all actually getting along pretty good. It's nice having her around

Angela Rizzoli:
[skeptical] Is that right?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Eh, yeah

Angela Rizzoli:
Hmm, okay, alright [walks away]

Nina Holiday:
You told me, you guys drive each other crazy! Why don't you tell her the truth?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Well, because then she'd go to Jane and start nosing around and then Jane will want to know why I was complaining to Ma. The whole thing is like a viscous circle

Nina Holiday:
So, what's the real problem with you and Jane?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
One bathroom, two adults

Nina Holiday:
Why don't you tell your mom that?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
The minute I tell her, it becomes a big deal. Besides Jane has a meeting with a condo board today. If that goes well, she'll be out of my place real soon and I have avoided a family crises. Win-win

Angela Rizzoli:
[walks back in] You're sure you don't want to tell me anything?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
[playing innocent] Me? No! Why?

Nina Holiday:
[looking guilty] I've got nothing

Angela Rizzoli:
Hmm, all right [and walks away]

Nina Holiday:
She knows we're lying

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
She always knows

Jane Rizzoli:
Takes a big man not to go to another man's office and punch him in the face

Vince Korsak:
It had to be done. I don't think that dog would hurt a fly

Jane Rizzoli:
How much time did you get?

Vince Korsak:
Another 24 hours

Jane Rizzoli:
Well, that's like 7 days in dog years!

Vince Korsak:
[laughs] I hope it's enough

Jane Rizzoli:
Did we talk to her?

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Well, the uniforms knocked on her door during the canvassing, but she didn't answer

Jane Rizzoli:
Well, maybe we should knock a little louder

Jane Rizzoli:
What's with the notebook?

Delores:
Oh, I have been writing license plate numbers ever since we had that string of break-ins back in the 90's. I write down the number of anyone who doesn't belong

Jane Rizzoli:
You wrote down my license plate

Delores:
I don't know you

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[catches Korsak gawking] I'm guessing she's in the waitress protection program, and you're watching her because...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[catching up] What, are you going to tell me I filled out nicely?

Lt. Joey Grant:
And risk charges? Maybe...

Lt. Joey Grant:
I gotta leave for D.C. Soon. Just wanted to come by and see you before I left. Say bye, if that's okay.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What's in D.C.?

Lt. Joey Grant:
Big job I wasn't expecting.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What, did they appoint you to the Supreme Court or something?

Lt. Joey Grant:
[half-smiling] No, not that big.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[Maura speaks in Creole to the mother of the victim] Exorcisms are very powerful.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Is that what she said?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Is that what you said?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yo, Dr. Death. J-Lo needs a cause of death, not a seminar on gangsta nicknames.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Damnit! I am late for dinner! My mom is gonna kill me.

Detective Barry Frost:
You were firebombed, Jane. It's a good excuse.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You don't know my mother. Will you call her and tell her I'm on my way?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
How much you know about Cape Verdeans?

Detective Barry Frost:
You mean, do I have any special insight because I'm black?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[scoffing] Yeah. The gangbangers I've arrested are usually somewhat suspicious of white, female cops.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Very intriguing culture.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Descendants from the Portuguese explorers and slaves from the Cape Verdean Islands.

Dr. Maura Isles:
I'm impressed!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I can Google, too. And that Father Coku, or whatever, is a phony. Did you check out that poncho he was wearing?

Dr. Maura Isles:
A grand boubou.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I said I know.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Oh you knew? What that robe was called?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
A boubou?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well it's popular with the Christians in West Africa. Though the Swahili and East Africans and Bantu speakers in Central Africa also...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Like their boubous?

Dr. Maura Isles:
[examining Jane's sandwich] What is that white substance?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Fluff.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Light, downy particles of cotton?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[pauses] It's marshmallow. [Maura raises her eyebrows, intrigued] And the brown substance is called peanut butter. It's ground up heavy, oily particles of peanuts. What, they didn't have that in your fancy boarding school?

Dr. Maura Isles:
[eating] Oh, it's really good!

[first lines]

Angela Rizzoli:
[upon seeing a dress Jane is trying on] Oh! That's beautiful.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[laughing] Yeah, if you're a farmer's wife. Ma, come on, my birthday was last month, it's fine.

[last lines]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well have fun in Washington. [kisses Grant on the cheek] And I'll miss you. [gives him one more peck on the cheek, and exits into her building]

Angela Rizzoli:
[Shopping for a dress for Jane] Oh, we're not leaving until we found something that we both like!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Did you bring food and water?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Maura gets something out of the victim's body] What's that?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Crime lab confirmed the presence of candle wax

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Hold your questions. These dark particles, those are burned feathers

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, let me guess: he was smothered with a burning down pillow while he drank candle wax

Dr. Maura Isles:
No!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Hey, you know, maybe ghosts are real! Maybe I could pick the winning lottery numbers today. Maybe I am losing my mind

Dr. Maura Isles:
I could do a brain scan tonight if you like

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[cynical] Thank you, that's... that's very helpful

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Can you lie about that?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No, I don't lie

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, it's not a lie

Dr. Maura Isles:
Yes it is. I know when it is. I start to hyperventilate

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, it's a white lie

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's still a lie

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You've never lied to a guy and tell him he was good when he wasn't?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Like this shirt with this jacket?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Not really, no

Dr. Maura Isles:
There is a weather vane

Detective Vince Korsak:
Let's which way the airline is pointing

Dr. Maura Isles:
I'll check the wind direction of this morning... [looks it up on a computer] North by north east

Detective Vince Korsak:
So the air is pointing north-ish

Dr. Maura Isles:
Which means that we're looking for a house on the east side of street in that runs north to south

Detective Vince Korsak:
Thank you, Magellan

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I'm always sad I missed the Irish crime wars.

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's a shame that they penetrated his temporal lobe. That would have been an excellent brain to study.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah. Bummer.

Detective Barry Frost:
[to Korsak] Sixty-two bucks at Dairy Freeze. What the hell did you eat?

Dr. Maura Isles:
He introduced himself as Mr. Selsi. It's Isles, my adoptive name, spelled backward.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I know, you keep saying that.

Dr. Maura Isles:
He was toying with me from the start, while he was staring at his murdered son.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Come on. He came to say a final goodbye to Colin, and he knew that you wanted a DNA sample, so he gave you some of his blood. That's a guy with balls!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Come on, you're defending a stone cold killer.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No I'm n [pause] yes I am. Uh, and, I'm gonna stop now. Look, I think that whoever killed Colin knew that his murder would draw Patrick out. [pause] I mean, if it makes you feel better, these were all bad guys.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Oh, don't tell me that you're finally letting emotion run that big brain.

Dr. Maura Isles:
I don't know who I am anymore. I just...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Come on. You're the same ridiculously smart, amazing, goofy person that you were before. I mean knowing that he is the source of the sperm doesn't change that.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well don't be so sure. Technically you did just say that my father's a killer.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Mm mm mm. I said the sperm donor was a killer.

Frank Rizzoli Sr.:
Nothing's mixed up, Frankie. Everything's in the order of the order of things.

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
[handing him a section of pipe] What the hell does that even mean? Here.

[first lines]

Detective Barry Frost:
We're waitin' on a warrant. Can't touch the car.

[last lines]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[instructing Maura in the art of throwing peanuts at one's sibling] Yeah, aim at the head. Face. Yes. Nice. Very nice!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Shall we?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Not so fast, professor! Why are you trying to get out of teaching this class?

Dr. Maura Isles:
I told you: because of my love and devotion for you about all.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No, didn't sell it! What's up?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
The department head, he told me that he is so excited about my syllabus that he wants it to be a course of credit.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Okay, how is that bad news?

Dr. Maura Isles:
I'll have to give grades! Yet I don't want that burden on my shoulders. I'm still scared over that A-minus biochemistry incident in 1996! I cannot imagine just crushing the spirit of young body minds like that!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
How many times has he called?

Dr. Maura Isles:
By my count: a lot; 27 to be exact.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
If he hasn't already sent a governors-aid over here to shut you down, he will do so, very soon. So you're almost done?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Eh, yes, I am moving as fast as I can, while still following protocol. I have ruled out seizures due to heart attack, epilepsy, stroke, meningitis, encephalitis or toxoplasmosis. There is one other possibility.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
And instead testing for that you are buying a gold fish?

Dr. Maura Isles:
No I'm setting up a variation of the pyrogallol test.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Wauw! Wauw! That is... wauw! You see what I mean?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I am still grasping. What do the bubbles mean?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Eh, well first of in a kinetic and spectro electronic chemistry...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Ehm, the mechanism of redox reaction...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No squared!

Dr. Maura Isles:
The release of gas bubbles indicate that there was air in Chelsea's heart.

Jack Armstrong:
You were great!

Dr. Maura Isles:
You think so? I thought I completely botched the section on the importance of statistics in DNA matching.

Jack Armstrong:
That has nothing to do with teaching, people don't understand statistics.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[Talking to hairbrush] Five sigma is fun, but forensics solves crimes. Ah. Five sigma is fun, but forensics solves crimes! Chin up.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[Walks in] I cannot believe what my mother... what you're doing?

Dr. Maura Isles:
[starts brushing, while hiding notes] 89, 90, 91... just ehm, I am doing my usual 100 brushes a day! What does it look like I am doing?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
It looks like you're singing into your hairbrush practicing for your summer camp talent show.

Dr. Maura Isles:
It's absurd! The camps I went to never had talent shows!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What's that [picks up notes] ? Thrombotic... thrombocytopenic. These are the worst lyrics ever!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Latin card and a metaphor plant? He could be your soul mate. Or your clone!

Dr. Maura Isles:
The truth is I have been doing a field study on dating for 10 years and I can no longer ignore the results: there is no Mr. Right out there for me!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura, come on! Right, you can't look at relationships like they are scientific experiments

Dr. Maura Isles:
The guy with who I had the most amazing sexual chemistry with: a face licker!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah.

Dr. Maura Isles:
And the next guy who I had feelings for ended dead and I was framed for his murder.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
To be fair: getting murdered was not his fault! For all we know he could have been a wonderful boyfriend

Dr. Maura Isles:
And then the guy who said that he wanted my body, he meant it literally, because he was a serial killer who made sculptures out of dead women bodies!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yes that was unfortunate. But would a serial killer send you a romantic metaphor plant?

Dr. Maura Isles:
I am not sure. The nerium oleander has two meanings: it's rare and beautiful and also deadly!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Really? You would think a guy would brush up his botany before sending you a tree with mixed messages.

Jane Rizzoli:
I'm just saying that Kent Drake is not the name of a real person!

Maura Isles:
I have seen his file and his picture. We had a videoconference interview

Jane Rizzoli:
Tall? Dark? Handsome? Suit, slightly too large for his body? Because his superhero suiut is underneath it

Maura Isles:
He is not a superhero, he is a military-school graduate

Jane Rizzoli:
Superhero

Maura Isles:
Glasgow Medical School. Just finished a tour to Afghanistan

Jane Rizzoli:
Marvel Superhero!

Maura Isles:
Well, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Jane Rizzoli:
If you have to ask...

Jane Rizzoli:
I was so worried about trying to avoid a hernia... of the entire body

Maura Isles:
That's not what a hernia is

Jane Rizzoli:
Yes, I know that!

Kent Drake:
Please, feel free to ask me anything you like

Maura Isles:
Well, I have worn those shoes working out, but I never really thought of them as a business attire

Kent Drake:
Right, well, technically that's not a question, is it?

Maura Isles:
No, I just don't find them suitable

Kent Drake:
Unlike your 4 inch heels?

Maura Isles:
3! And I often have business meetings

IAD Det. Hitchcock:
This is a simple question, detective: How did Frank seem this morning?

Jane Rizzoli:
Fine! He was the same a**hole that I have dealt with for the past 35 year

Jane Rizzoli:
Well, you can't do an autopsy, 'cause you're Frankie's friend

Maura Isles:
Right

Jane Rizzoli:
And I can't watch te autposy, because I am Frankie's sister

Maura Isles:
That is, in theory, true!

Maura Isles:
The algorithms for facial recognition fall into two catagories: geometric, which focuses on features, and photometric

Kent Drake:
So, how long does this program usually take to find a match?

Maura Isles:
A few minutes. A few days. Forever!

Vince Korsak:
A PI-address and a log is more than we had

Nina Holiday:
IP-address

Vince Korsak:
What did I say?

Nina Holiday:
PI-address

Vince Korsak:
That'd comes as no surprise to you that I often don't know what you're talking about! [Nina smiles]

Dr. Maura Isles:
The cute boy with the erection is being discharged from the hospital. He sent me these orchids.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Good. I wish him and his wang a speedy recovery.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Our medical miracle is here to thank us. Come on.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Ugh. I'm keeping my distance. I'm afraid of that erection.

Detective Barry Frost:
Watch yourself.

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Even with a warrant?

Detective Barry Frost:
Yea. When he swings that Tomahawk at your head just wave that piece of paper.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Oh! I forgot to tell you. He sculpts in the nude.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I want to hear everything!... after we solve this case.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Do the autopsy, you'll feel better.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
The murder is near Franklin Park

Giovanni:
You got a murder in the Franklin Park Zoo?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Why? You have family there?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Late is a million times better than never

Dr. Hope Martin:
Maybe I didn't believe that I could save people, but I knew I could speak for the dead

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, I wish I could speak for her

Dr. Hope Martin:
She's someone's daughter. That's what drives me. Everyone is someone's child

Dr. Maura Isles:
Did the old lady kill her?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Uhm, that's doubtful

Dr. Maura Isles:
Doubtful! So, she might?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No

Dr. Maura Isles:
Then why did you say: doubtful?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I wanted you to know what uncertainty felt like

Detective Vince Korsak:
[Looking at a picture with a Scott wearing a kilt] Would you ever wear a skirt Frost?

Detective Barry Frost:
Where is this going?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Chickenpox?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No

Dr. Maura Isles:
Chlamydia?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Really?

Dr. Maura Isles:
I'll take that as a no. Thrombosis?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No

Dr. Maura Isles:
How about depression?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Only since you starting me asking all these questions!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Let me remind you that if you got to your regular OB, we would not have to fill out new patient forms

Dr. Maura Isles:
I didn't actually tell your mother. She somehow knew and I confirmed it. I don't really know how it happened. I am so sorry!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
She used some Latin thing on you?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Et non dico mendacium quaestiones

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, that's it. And that she'd tell her about her physic grandmother and then take your hand and say she could tell if you were lying by running her fingers across your palm?

Dr. Maura Isles:
But it felt so real and honest

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Her grandmother died when she was 5

Dr. Maura Isles:
I am such so an idiot!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I am warning you! One word gets out about this and I am naming this baby after Constantina

Angela Rizzoli:
You are never to speak her name!

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Who is Constatina?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Her niece

Angela Rizzoli:
Il Diablo

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Boy or girl: Constatina Rizzoli! And now I go to lunch. And ma, fill him in about cousin Consty...

Dr. Maura Isles:
Nutrition is more important now than ever. The first trimester is the most critical in terms of developing the organs, the nervous system, the arms, fingers, legs, toes

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
It was just a cupcake, not a hostile act!

Detective Vince Korsak:
Can you tell how long he has been in the ground?

Dr. Maura Isles:
I can't be certain until I examined the remains

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura, approximately isn't going to hurt you

Dr. Maura Isles:
Science is not a guessing game!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You want me to get another cupcake?

Dr. Maura Isles:
A year or more is likely

Detective Vince Korsak:
What! No heels?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Cramps! Long story, but don't tell Jane!

Dr. Maura Isles:
Quite simply, keeping your brain busy aids recovery. Mind. Body.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Mind. Business.

Dr. Maura Isles:
You are my business.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
I'm not a hero, Maura. Shooting yourself is not heroic.

Dr. Maura Isles:
The people of Boston think it is.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Eight people died. I don't want a medal for that.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Five of them were bad guys, Jane.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[softly] Whatever.

Sgt. Major Casey Jones:
So how come we never finished what we started?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Because you didn't give me the time of day until Senior Week.

Sgt. Major Casey Jones:
[laughs] I was a jerk.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Well, you were just too cool for me. And smart.

Sgt. Major Casey Jones:
Truth? You were too scary for me.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Gee thanks.

Sgt. Major Casey Jones:
I looked cool, but I was like twelve in boy years. You were a force even then. Smart, beautiful. Didn't care what anybody thought of you.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
What about personal? Abby said the men in her platoon resented her.

Detective Vince Korsak:
No way!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Korsak, with all due respect, there weren't women serving when you were a Marine.

Detective Vince Korsak:
Hey, I ever treat you any different from Frost, Rizzoli?

Detective Barry Frost:
Well, yeah. You never brought me flowers.

Dr. Byron Sluckey:
Are we questioning my opinion?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well there could be another component. The mind is powerful. She had a trauma.

Dr. Byron Sluckey:
Um, you're merely a pathologist, and she had expert care from a renowned trauma surgeon.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Are you talking about yourself in the third person?

Dr. Byron Sluckey:
Are we angry?

Dr. Maura Isles:
We are. Thank you, for reminding me why I don't date surgeons.

[first lines]

unnamed female reporter:
[voice-over] And it's the annual Boston Police Department Salute to Heroes tonight. Boston Homicide Detective Jane Rizzoli, who was badly injured in a siege at headquarters three months ago, will honored, along with Army Private Abby Sherman, just twenty-two years old. Sherman's story made headlines when her platoon was ambushed in Afghanistan. She was shot, but crawled to a machine gun to save three members of her squad.

[last lines]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[singsong] Doctor Isles guessed, Doctor Isles guessed.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Did not. [firmly] I did not.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Did too.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
So our victims were either transported from the 90s. OR they work for Hilary Clinton. Or our killer is a scrunchie freak.

Dr. Maura Isles:
You're running this morning! Come on

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Uh, uh, your're too late, I already showered

Dr. Maura Isles:
[Sniffs Jane] Last night or this morning?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Definitely a solid, high density object. In common parlance: something hard

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Brilliant deduction

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
How did you rip your pants?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Oh man! These are new!

Detective Barry Frost:
Yeah, new in 1995

Dr. Maura Isles:
I'm going to the gym and even though you're rude, you're coming with me

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No, thank you. I am too tired to work out

Dr. Maura Isles:
Then let's go to the Dirty Robber, I'll even have a beer with you

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
No, I am working out on my couch: five stages of junk food

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
A piece of a toothpick?

Detective Vince Korsak:
Big splinter

Dr. Maura Isles:
I am prepared to say it's a sliver of wood

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah Korsac! How could you possible think that sliver was a splinter?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Have you been drinking?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Yes water! Two liters a day is recommended by the Mayo clinic

Detective Vince Korsak:
[Maura has stopped talking to Jane] You'll make up.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Yeah, that's what they said about the Beatles.

[first lines]

unnamed drug smuggler:
What are you doin'?

Detective Danny Clark:
[munching an apple] Caught me. I was eatin' into the profits.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Maura. You're staring at Chuck's biceps. Stop it.

Dr. Maura Isles:
I am! Females are wired to be attracted to the strongest, most dominant male. It's natural selection at work.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You're making me uncomfortable. Stop.

Dr. Maura Isles:
What? I'm just appreciating his sternocleidomastoid. [to the cop lifting weights] Excuse me. You have beautifully developed musculature. [to Jane] What, am I embarrassing you?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Oh no, not at all. Why don't you tell him he's got a nice ass, too.

Dr. Maura Isles:
[to the weight-lifting cop] And a wonderfully proportioned gluteus maximus.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[shaking her head] I am never working out with you again.

Frank Rizzoli Sr.:
Everybody makes mistakes, Jane.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Running a priest down in a crosswalk on your third DUI conviction is not a mistake.

Angela Rizzoli:
Father Crowley has forgiven him. Why can't you?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
You're throwing him a party in a bar, Mom. Are you crazy?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Marino wants a cup of coffee, there's none upstairs. Guy's a wreck.

Dr. Maura Isles:
I've tried everything. British strawberries, fennel, bok choy...

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Are, are we in the same conversation?

Dr. Maura Isles:
I'm sorry, I, I was talking about Bass.

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Ahh, you're obsessing over your turtle again.

Dr. Maura Isles:
Tortoise.

[last lines]

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
[screaming] No!

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Why, you don't like plastic champagne glasses?

Dr. Maura Isles:
Well, you should use flutes, so you don't want the carbon oxide to escape

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
It's sparkling cider, Maura!

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Do you know how many private security agencies work for the NSA?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
About two thousand

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
I bet you don't know this: there are half a million non-government workers without top secret security clearance

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
Do you know how many government agencies there are conducting intelligence activities?

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
Sixteen

Frankie Rizzoli Jr.:
We got the: CIA, DIA. NSA, NGA, NRO, Afisra, Inscom, MCIA, ONI, OICI, INR, CGI, FBI, DEA, ONSI, INR and TFI

Detective Jane Rizzoli:
That is very impressive. Now breathe!