The Spoony Experiment

The Spoony One:
Billy, tell Hulk about Disneyland.

The Spoony One:
I haven't been this uncomfortable watching a mentally handicapped person wrestle since Eugene in the WWE!

The Spoony One:
Great! Now we've got a brain-damaged, 300 pound bodybuilder who's also retard-strong and who hallucinates other people are Vietcong!

The Spoony One:
I like wrestling, but I hate fighting, but I like wrestling, but...

The Spoony One:
Hulk sense disturbance in the force.

The Spoony One:
Yeah, try pulling the trigger about 10 more times, I'm sure there's a bullet in there somewhere!

The Spoony One:
Oh come on! What did they do, buy the costume at Wal-Mart? He looks like a Spanish conquistador! Actually my first thought was that he kinda looks like Locklear from Betrayal At Krondor... Oh God... I just made a Betrayal At Krondor reference in Two-Thousand-and f***ing-Eleven... I don't get out much...

Dr. Insano:
You don't want to mess with Bill Nye! He will own your ass! WITH SCIENCE!

Dr. Insano:
Ooooh, yes! With my latest invention I'll burn my name into the White House lawn and then the world will kneel at my feet! Ahahahahah! You just invented Roundup weed killer, you moron!

The Spoony One:
But there's just something about this game, something irrational, something instinctive that whenever I see this guy I just wanna punch this motherf***er! This sissy, shorts-wearing, f***ing fat-faced Leonardo Di Caprio-looking jackoff! F*** this guy! F*** him in his leather lederhosen! I hate his f***ing faggy Meg Ryan hair! I hate his smug, f***ing hideous Arch Hall, Jr. face! I hate his stupid, girly, banana-colored half-vest! I hate his stupid, squeaky, nasal f***ing voice! And every f***ing time he opens his big f***ing mouth I just wanna stab him in the throat with an ice pick just to watch him die! I HATE HIM! I HATE YOU! I HATE THIS GAME! [screams like a maniac]

The Spoony One:
How do you buttf*** an entire series in twelve minutes?

The Commander:
Alright, men. You deploy at 0600. Any questions?

Bloodfist:
Uh... who are you?

The Commander:
That's classified information. Technically, I don't exist. I am not here. We are not having this briefing.

Bloodfist:
We didn't have a briefing!

The Commander:
Good man!

Bloodfist:
No, really! You just walked in here and said that we were leaving at 0600.

The Spoony Snob:
You know, somehow I doubt that Edgar Allan Poe wrote The Fall of the House of Usher as a sequel to Zombie 4"!

Heihachi:
Lions push their cubs over a cliff and raise only the one that climb back up!

The Spoony One:
No, no they don't. You see, I researched it, and lions are extremely protective of their young and would never hurl them off a cliff! So basically the instigating event that set into motion the plot of the movie and every single Tekken game is complete bullshit!

Heihachi:
If you're truly my son then you'll be able to climb back up.

[Hurls Kazuya off the cliff]

The Spoony One:
You think he'd double check that little factoid before throwing his son off a cliff. I'll bet he went home after and checked online "Aw, son of a-! Well now I just feel silly..."

Dr. Insano:
I wasted $1.99 renting this movie, and I will have my revenge!

Dr. Insano:
Well, go on. You'll never guess. Paul's shown so much innovation and creativity solving all the problems up to this point he's like freaking Macgyver. Guess how he does it? Go on. Guess! GUESS!

The Spoony One:
F***ing Freddie Prinze Jr. couldn't command f***ing wings at a f***ing KFC!