American Reunion

[from trailer]

Steve Stifler:
Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually you were. Not you.

Mia:
What's with you jacking my style, b*tch?

Steve Stifler:
[after punching Dr. Ron out] I ain't worth jackshit, D-Ron.

Kara's Mom:
Remember this song? [puts My First Kiss on and starts dancing to it]

Stifler's Mom:
I once caught Steven sticking my hairbrush up his ass. It wasn't the handle side either.

Kevin:
Were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day?

Finch:
Not us, our generation, we were more mature.

Steve Stifler:
Check it out vagina shark. [goes under water, girls scream]

Finch:
I take that back.

MILF Guy #1:
Milf?

MILF Guy #2:
Milf...?

MILF Guy #1:
Milf!

MILF Guy #2:
Milf!

MILF Guy #1, MILF Guy #2:
Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf!

Michelle:
Get off my husband you little piece of sh*t!

[repeated line]

Steve Stifler:
Oh, Finch's mom!

Finch:
How is your mother, Stifler?

Steve Stifler:
You stay away from my mom, shitbricks!

Michelle:
Everytime I wanna shop online and I start typing Amazon, amazingcollegesluts.com pops up.

Michelle:
Hey, remember that one time at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each other's p...

Selena:
[Interrupts Michelle] Yes, yes. I remember.

Jim Levenstein:
Stifler's having a party tonight. OK, I know that doesn't sound romantic or anything, but remember our first time was at a Stifler party. You made me your b*tch.

Michelle:
Yes. Yes I did.

Jim's Dad:
It is so great to see all you kids back in town. And what a terrific soiree are you throwing here tonight. Just wonderful.

Steve Stifler:
You know what? I'm gonna get you f***ed up.

Steve Stifler:
F*** yeah, Mr. Levenstein!

Jim's Dad:
[Drunk] The name's Noah, motherf***er!

AJ:
Did you just refer to yourself as the Stifmeister? Coz that's, like, the lamest name ever.

Steve Stifler:
I'm gonna f***ing kill you.

Kevin:
Don't mess with the class of 99, b*tch!

Sherman:
[Talking about his divorce] At least I got to keep little Furlong.

Steve Stifler:
You named your kid after Eddie Furlong?

Sherman:
Yes I did. You know why? Because Terminator 2 is still the greatest film ever made.

Steve Stifler:
Dude, you need to get banged bad.

Kara:
Jim? I can't believe it's you. You don't remember me do you? Remember Teletubbies Tuesdays?

Jim Levenstein:
Kara? No, oh my god, what? You're not a kid anymore.

Kara:
It's been a long time since I needed a babysitter.

Jim Levenstein:
I can't believe how much you've grown up.

Kara:
Thanks. It's actually my eighteenth birthday tomorrow.

Jim Levenstein:
Eighteen, wow.

Kara:
You should come to my party.

Jim Levenstein:
Oh, thank you, no, I... that might be...

Kara:
Please I want you to come so bad.

Jim's Dad:
Is it an erectile problem? Because sometimes, you can buy a little time... with a well-placed thumb.

MILF Guy #2:
[after seeing Oz rip his undershirt] Dude, you have an amazing body!

Kevin:
You destroyed their Jet Skis

Steve Stifler:
They splashed us, so...

Steve Stifler:
[Whispering as he drops his shorts and sits on some high school students' cooler] I'm shitting in their cooler.

Jim Levenstein:
[Gagging] I'm going to throw up.

Steve Stifler:
Hey, Shitbruck, when you're getting rammed by your cellmate tonight, think of Kevin.

Steve Stifler:
Morning, co-workers and cock-jerkers!