Apartment for Peggy

Prof. Collins:
You were in the Navy, weren't you, Taylor? [Professor Collins is a college professor who Taylor thinks is too tough on the GIs returning to school after serving in World War Two]

Jason Taylor:
Yes, sir.

Prof. Collins:
What kind of duty?

Jason Taylor:
I was on the Vincennes [a U.S. Navy Cruiser sunk at the Battle of Savo Island] till she went down and then a little later...

Prof. Collins:
[interrupts] That's a little tough. I was on the Wasp. [an American aircraft carrier sunk by Japanese submarines]

Jason Taylor:
[taken aback] I-I heard that wasn't exactly a picnic, either.

Prof. Collins:
Nothing worthwhile ever is, Taylor.

Jason Taylor:
[long pause] I'm just beginning to find that out. [They turn and smile at each other]

Peggy Taylor:
Do you know in a recent survey 64% of all used car salesmen said they wished they gone into some other field.

Jason Taylor:
You made that up! You're always making up statistics.

Peggy Taylor:
Of course, I made it up. Somebody's always making up statistics and it just as well be me. You'd be surprised how many arguments I win with my statistics. If I get this far I just say 36% or 400 million. Nobody bothers to check. They just say, 'My, I never realized it was that much'. And when I walk away they think I'm very smart.

Dr. Philip Conway:
Edward tells me you've taken in a G.I. couple.

Prof. Henry Barnes:
I've not only taken in a G.I. couple I've taken in a G.I. dog, a G.I. cat and very probably a G.I. mouse.

Prof. Henry Barnes:
Why not suicide?

Peggy Taylor:
Because it wouldn't change anything.

Prof. Henry Barnes:
The gentleman would be dead! I consider that a drastic change.

Peggy Taylor:
What makes Mr. Hypothetical think he's living now?

Prof. Henry Barnes:
I just said he's living!

Peggy Taylor:
I mean really living! He's just doing nothing but sitting around moping thinking of reasons why he should kill himself. He's not alive, he's dead already. Just as dead as a dodo. Now if he's dead suicide isn't going to change anything. It's just going to give him more of the same thing he's got. Suicide only puts an end to living and vice versa. The only way he can change that deadly existence is to start living with a capital L and that's what Mr. Hypothetical ought to do right now.

Peggy Taylor:
OK. Give me a half dollar and I'll show you how Pop won more arguments than any guy in town.

Jason Taylor:
Well, what do you want a half dollar for?

Peggy Taylor:
Give me a half dollar! [He gives it to her] OK. Close your left eye. [She's holding the coin up to his right eye] What do you see?

Jason Taylor:
My half dollar.

Peggy Taylor:
Hmm,Hmm. [Now walking away] Now what do you see?

Jason Taylor:
The same half dollar.

Peggy Taylor:
What else? What else?

Jason Taylor:
Well I see you and the professor and the books over there.

Peggy Taylor:
That's just what I mean. Never hold money so close you never see anything else. If you do you're a cooked goose.

Prof. Henry Barnes:
I find it singularly curious that if a doctor tells us that peanut shells are good for us, we eat them. If a chemist maintains that one gasoline is better than another we use it. We're guided by experts on everything from soap chips to foreign policy and yet on the most important thing of all how to live we pay no attention. Ever since man began to think great minds have been telling us the pleasure in living is helping, but happiness comes from a simple, useful constructive life. But yet we call this kind of advice infantile, impractical and hopelessly idealistic.