Batman: Assault on Arkham

Harley Quinn:
Anyone who throws boomerangs has some real issues letting go.

Harley Quinn:
[about Black Spider] Ninjas are AWESOME!

[Joker takes aim at "Batman's" head with a gun, but before he pulls the trigger, a bomb in "Batman's" neck explodes]

The Joker:
...Best gun ever!

[He lifts "Batman's" head and sees Black Spider's face]

The Joker:
Denzel... what have they done to you? [laughs]

Amanda Waller:
You going to write a blog and expose us? That's checkmate, Batman.

Batman:
I am warning you.

The Joker:
I'm here, b*tches! And I've got favors for everyone! [hurls out explosives]

Amanda Waller:
What can I say? When I make an omelet I break a lot of eggs.

Batman:
And you're such a messy cook.

Amanda Waller:
Assemble Task Force X. We have another Suicide Mission.

[On a helicopter, Batman and the Joker fight. Harley tries to fly the plane]

The Joker:
You know she's going to kill us, right?

Killer Frost:
The Joker has a dirty bomb? That gives me the chills.

Captain Boomerang:
Ice puns? Really?

Amanda Waller:
Those scumbags are trying to screw me. NO ONE SCREWS THE WALL!

Harley Quinn:
[on the Joker] I'm fine. We're done. He's a jerk. Whatever.

Killer Frost:
[sarcasm] Well, I'm convinced.

G.C.P.D. Commissioner James Gordon:
We've got it under control, Batman, you can... [sees Batman is gone]

G.C.P.D. Commissioner James Gordon:
...and I'm talking to myself. Again.

The Riddler:
Riddle me this: what belongs to you, but others use it more than you do?

Amanda Waller:
Your name.

The Riddler:
Huh...? You've heard that one.

Amanda Waller:
No, I have Google. Like the rest of the world.

[Harley tries to break into the Joker's cell]

The Joker:
[taps his cell walls] Sorry, hun. Bulletproof.

Harley Quinn:
Even better, puddin'.

[She fires through an air hole of the cell. Joker ducks as the bullet ricochets wildly around the walls]

[Deadshot finds Harley in his bed]

Deadshot:
What do you want?

Harley Quinn:
I got an itch I thought you could help me scratch, cowboy...

[Angry, Deadshot throws her down on the bed and pins her arms above her head]

Harley Quinn:
WHOO! Good start!

Deadshot:
Oh, what the hell...

[He starts making out with Harley. She wraps her legs around him and they both tumble off the bed with a crash... ]

Harley Quinn:
Yahtzee!

[Deadshot shows he can throw darts better than Captain Boomerang]

Captain Boomerang:
Lucky shot.

Deadshot:
Right. Let's see *you* do it.

[Captain Boomerang throws a dart at the board, but it ricochets around the room and then flies at Deadshot's head... who just catches it]

Captain Boomerang:
Sorry, mate. Looks like that one took a bad bounce.

[Deadshot punches Captain Boomerang]

Deadshot:
Let's call it even... mate.

The Joker:
[points a gun at Deadshot] You! New guy! I don't like people touching my stuff!

[Deadshot just walks forward and touches his forehead to the barrel]

Deadshot:
Go ahead. You're out of bullets.

The Joker:
I am not!

Deadshot:
You are. You're going to pull the trigger, and when nothing happens, I'm going to punch you in the throat and bash your brains out. Three... two... one...

The Joker:
Hold on, stop counting for a second! I know there are bullets...

[fires the gun into the air]

The Joker:
See?

[Deadshot punches the Joker, who grabs Harley and tumbles down the laundry chute with her]

Captain Boomerang:
Mate... you just out-crazied The Joker!

[repeated line]

Harley Quinn:
Yahtzee!

[last lines]

[Amanda notices a line of sight on her chest]

Amanda Waller:
Motherf...

Deadshot:
[aiming at her with a gun] Bang.

[all the criminals Waller assembled see each other]

Harley Quinn:
AW CRAP! Not this again!

Captain Boomerang:
[to Deadshot] You too? It's like a bloody recurring nightmare.

[arriving in Arkham through a parachute]

Harley Quinn:
Don't worry! I landed on my head!

The Penguin:
[sees Harley] CLOWN!

Harley Quinn:
[to Captain Boomerang] Go wave your boomer-Wang at the shark guy!

King Shark:
[Aggressively] Do it and I'll bite it off!

Deadshot:
[to Harley] Don't call me "puddin'."

Deadshot:
[throwing Joker into the helicopter] Have a seat, puddin'!