Big Guns

Navy Lieutenant #1:
[looking out at the California weather] It is WAY to f***in' cool to go to school today. Ah, but it's never too f***in' cold to jack off.

Mr. Egan:
[catching Kevin's stare] You want it?

Paperboy:
Sure.

Mr. Egan:
[hearing the paperboy gagging] Shut up and suck.

Paperboy:
[under Mr. Egan's sexual onslaught] Come... Slow down. Oh, God.

Gun Lesson Friend:
[slapped while ridden] Don't leave my ass too red or my girlfriend will wonder what I've been doing.

Navy Lieutenant #2:
F*** your girlfriend!

Navy Lieutenant #2:
Bet you love THIS big gun up your ass, don't cha.

[Mike bets John $100 he can nail the 18-year-old boy seen at a swimming pool]

Navy Lieutenant #1:
I'm gonna win THAT hundred bucks. You wait and see.

Navy Lieutenant #2:
No, you're not.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Yes, I am.

Navy Lieutenant #2:
You ain't even gonna touch him.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Wh-what...

Navy Lieutenant #2:
How you gonna prove it to me?

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Just wait and see. I'll go over there and do it, come back and tell ya.

Navy Lieutenant #2:
And I'm supposed to believe you?

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Yes.

Navy Lieutenant #2:
I've got a better idea.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
What?

Navy Lieutenant #2:
[pulls out a traveling case] This little outfit CID boys back at base let me use. See that little window right there?

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Yuh-huh.

Navy Lieutenant #2:
[pulls out a video camera] Da-da-da-da-da... And this!

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Whoa!

Navy Lieutenant #2:
Fits right inside. See this transmitter? Goes over a thousand feet, and I can see it all.

Boy at Motel:
How much should you get paid for this massage?

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Uh, fifty bucks.

Boy at Motel:
Fifty bucks?

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Mm-hm.

Boy at Motel:
Wow. How many do you do a day?

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Uh, about three, I'd say.

Boy at Motel:
A hundred and fifty dollars?

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Mm-hm.

Boy at Motel:
Wow. That deal's pretty good money.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Yeah.

Boy at Motel:
Do you do ladies, too?

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Mm-hm. All the time.

Boy at Motel:
Do you ever get to mess around with them?

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Sometimes. You know... one thing leads to another.

Boy at Motel:
Wow. You get fifty bucks and you get p*ssy, too?

Navy Lieutenant #1:
I think it's time to do your legs. Uh... I don't wanna get oil on your shorts. Why don't you take your, uh, shorts off.

Boy at Motel:
Oh, okay.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
I think I'll take my shirt off. It's hot.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Why don't you take your underwear off? I don't wanna get any oil on 'em.

Boy at Motel:
Well... I don't think I should do that.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Well, why not?

Boy at Motel:
Well, I... kinda got a... problem down there.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Oh, don't worry about that. I'm a professional. I won't even notice it.

Navy Lieutenant #2:
[watching Mike's seduction of the motel boy on his monitor] Oh, sh*t! He's goin' for the pants.

Boy at Motel:
You didn't tell me you were gonna do THIS.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Well, one thing leads to another.

Boy at Motel:
I've never had a guy touching me like that before.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
You like that?

Boy at Motel:
Yeah, it's great.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Roll over. I'll show you something that feels even better.

Boy at Motel:
I never thought I'd like it but I love it.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
You like gettin' f***ed, don't ya?

Navy Lieutenant #1:
Hey, watch it. You're gonna rip my fundies. What's my girlfriend gonna say?

Guy from Base #2:
F*** your girlfriend - I did.

Navy Lieutenant #4:
You're always grab-grab grab, you know?

Navy Lieutenant #3:
I really wanted to make it with that girl.

Navy Lieutenant #4:
Yeah, get a little romance goin'.

Navy Lieutenant #3:
How am I supposed to do that?

Navy Lieutenant #4:
Well, you know, a woman's erogenous zones.

Navy Lieutenant #3:
Erogenous zones?

Navy Lieutenant #4:
Yeah, they're the same on a man as they are on a woman. You close your eyes, relax, I'll show you.

[Jeff lightly strokes the back of John's neck]

Navy Lieutenant #3:
Mm.

Navy Lieutenant #4:
You like that?

Navy Lieutenant #3:
It's kind of different.

[Jeff wants some reciprocal treatment]

Navy Lieutenant #3:
Oh, I can't do that.

Navy Lieutenant #4:
Yes, you can.

Navy Lieutenant #3:
Can't.

Navy Lieutenant #4:
Come on.

Navy Lieutenant #3:
Mm-mm.

Navy Lieutenant #4:
Come on. Suck my dick.

Navy Lieutenant #3:
No.

Navy Lieutenant #4:
Come on.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
All right, men, this is a survival game. The object of the game is to survive, and to do that, you kill your opponent with these - paint guns. Three shots to the kill zone and you're out. Any questions?

Admiral's Favorite:
Yeah. Sounds good. Good for all of us.

Navy Lieutenant #4:
Yeah? Well, I think we ought to make it more interesting. I say the loser gets stripped and tied to a tree all night long, and the other two head back to the base and drink beer.

Navy Lieutenant #1:
All right.

Admiral's Favorite:
It sounds good.

Navy Lieutenant #4:
Let's go.

Admiral's Favorite:
Good idea.

Admiral's Favorite:
You guys are ROUGH!