Breaking In

Carrie aka Fontaine:
What would I do with your balls, were they mine? Would I hang them by their shorthairs from my long painted nails? And crack a grin as they dropped, splat splat, on the floor? No, I wouldn't do that with your balls, were they mine. But I'd put them instead in some sort of shrine. I'd fondle them daily, and keep them in line, and give them a licking from time to time. Yes, that's what I'd do with your balls, were they mine.

Mike Lafebb:
Man, I never met anybody who did crime for a living. I mean I had a cousin once who held up a gas station on his bicycle, but he was nuts.

Ernie Mullins:
Runs in the family, huh?

Mike Lafebb:
Hey, you with some kind of organization?

Ernie Mullins:
Yeah, uh, Northwest Homeowners Association.

Ernie Mullins:
[while robbing the safe] Hey, where'd you get that apple?

Mike Lafebb:
Out there.

Ernie Mullins:
Next time you want an apple, you buy it!

Ernie Mullins:
More guys blow their careers 'cause they can't control their bad habits.

Mike Lafebb:
So, you're an actress?

Carrie aka Fontaine:
Well, I'm an actress and a model.

Mike Lafebb:
Yeah? Done any movies?

Carrie aka Fontaine:
I'm not at the performance level just yet. I'm still developing my instrument.

Mike Lafebb:
Oh, so you're a musician too, huh?

Ernie Mullins:
[doing knee bends] The knees are the second thing to go.

Mike Lafebb:
What's the first?

Ernie Mullins:
I can't remember.

Young Woman Apostle:
Do you have a family?

Mike Lafebb:
No, not really. Just a mother, and a father, and a sister.

Sam the Apostle:
[wheeling in bogus machine] It's gonna be about 15 minutes. After we leave, that's when the roaches die.

Ernie Mullins:
We don't have any roaches.

Sam the Apostle:
See, we were here about 2 years ago.

Ernie Mullins:
[parting] Poor kid.

Mike Lafebb:
Poor old guy.