Crash of the Titans

Doctor Neo Cortex:
[through a megaphone] Is... is this thing on? Yeah? Ha ha! I'm back, babies! Surrender to Cortex!

Crunch Bandicoot:
Make us, sucka!

Doctor Neo Cortex:
Hey, genius. I can't actually hear you. I'm really far away and I'm flying like a hovercraft or something.

Aku Aku:
I will deal with them. I've been fighting evil for many centuries!

Crunch Bandicoot:
What? You don't even got a body!

Uka Uka:
That was ridiculous and appalling! You've failed to destroy Crash Bandicoot!

Doctor Neo Cortex:
I don't see what the big deal is. We got away with the Mojo and Crash's sister!

Uka Uka:
I got away with the Mojo, and the big deal is that Crash Bandicoot is still alive! Cortex, I'm going to replace you.

Doctor Neo Cortex:
[Shocked, Neo spits his tea all over N. Gin's face]

Doctor N. Gin:
[screams] Thank you, master!

Doctor Neo Cortex:
You can't replace me. My name's on the stationery!

Doctor N. Gin:
[giggles] That's right, tough guy! Unless you want to buy a new stationery, you respect the master!

Tiny Tiger:
It's really nice stationery, too.

Doctor N. Gin:
Oh, I know! Glossy!

Uka Uka:
Cortex, you've never been more wrong.

Doctor Neo Cortex:
Uhh... why thank you. What? What do you mean?

[Neo throws his cup of tea onto N. Gin's face]

Doctor N. Gin:
[screams] Thank you again! Hotter than the first!

Uka Uka:
Allow me to announce your replacement: Nina Cortex.

[Neo once again spits his tea onto N. Gin's face, but he barely flinches]

Doctor N. Gin:
Aww, come on! He didn't even have a cup!

Doctor N. Gin:
I should start a record label. Then I could get some chicks! I'm tired of monkeys!

Uka Uka:
I will kill Crash Bandicoot. Kill him... forever...

Aku Aku:
Well, what do we have here? You'll tell us where Coco is, won't you?

Doctor N. Gin:
Of course not. Disgusting, filthy bandicoots! I hate them with cheese.

"Neo" N. Gin:
They made it here! Now they'll help us save Doctor Cortex!

"Nina" N. Gin:
Don't be ridiculous, you stupid hominid! We're with Nina now! We're with the winner.

"Neo" N. Gin:
But Doctor Cortex is our friend!

"Nina" N. Gin:
You don't have any friends! He always kicked you in the tokus, and other... very... gentle spots!

"Neo" N. Gin:
But I liked it when he did that!

[Crash and Aku Aku look on confusedly]

"Nina" N. Gin:
It was kind of fun. Listen. We make a deal with this filthy rodent and pie-nuts-face, and they help us save the master... then we shower them with doom!

"Neo" N. Gin:
[giggling] Yes! We shower them good! Right in the eyes!

[N. Gin giggles some more until Crash yanks as his head rocket, causing him to yelp in pain]

Aku Aku:
Listen up, corn dog. You help us, or Crash will sing you some knuckle music.

Doctor N. Gin:
I'll be good! I promise! I be good! And once my precious master has been freed, I will gladly betray you! You don't even look like a bandicoot!

Aku Aku:
What?

Doctor N. Gin:
Shhhh. It's okay. Anyway, get out of here. That's right, stupids! You need to go to Uka Uka's lab and stop him! That's where they make all the delicious mutants! Maybe your revolting sister is there, too. Eugh... girls...

Nina Cortex:
You want something done right... use a giant spider body!

Tiny Tiger:
Crash, I really am cross with you! I'm just trying to do my job, and you go and cause all this chaos! I'm sorry, but... I'm gonna have to eat your face.

[Crash panics]

Tiny Tiger:
Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. I wish some sort of reconciliation was possible here, and frankly, I'm still mad about the last game. You didn't even invite me! That really hurt!

Tiny Tiger:
Stop! No more, please! You're just too stupendous and fantabulous! Honestly, you are just awesome.

Crash Bandicoot:
Uh huh.

Tiny Tiger:
I'll tell you where they go! Nina took Coco to the factory on the beach.

Crash Bandicoot:
Nina? Howjihebevuh?

Aku Aku:
Nina? You mean Doctor Cortex, don't you?

Tiny Tiger:
No, Nina! Uka Uka and her got rid of Cortex. They were tired of Cortex failing all the time.

Aku Aku:
This isn't good, Crash. Nina's a lot smarter than Cortex ever could be. I'll take us there now! Get ready, Crash.

Doctor N. Gin:
Attention, revolting yet beloved Doom Monkey servants. Tomorrow is 'Make-Your-Child-Work-In-The-Corps Day. Be sure to bring your many rat-like offspring so we can make them do work considered unsafe for robots. Also, please note that Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Day, so try to find a sufficiently tacky shirt. That is all.

Doctor N. Gin:
Shower him with fisticuffs! Or is it cuftifists? Gah! Just hit him!

Doctor N. Gin:
Come on everybody! Sing along, you all know the tune! Doooomy doomy-doooom doom... shooby-doomy-doomy doooom doom... Eh heh heh! [pause] Oh, I am the worst thing to happen to music... since Andrew Lloyd Webber!