Die Ehe der Maria Braun

Red Cross Nurse:
How long were you married?

Maria Braun:
I still am married.

Red Cross Nurse:
I mean, it didn't last long, did it?

Maria Braun:
Yes, it did: half a day and a whole night.

Mother:
It's wrong to give all your love to only one person, Grandpa. If you don't have potatoes, you eat turnips. When the turnips are gone, you eat gruel. But every girl loves her one and only. He goes to war; five months later he's dead, and you mourn the rest of your life. Does that make sense to you, Grandpa? It drowns you.

[Maria commenting on her new hairdo]

Maria Braun:
I look like a poodle.

Betti Klenze:
You think so? It's the latest thing.

Maria Braun:
I'll bet the Americans are crazy about poodles.

Peddler:
I just happen to have a beautiful edition of Kleist's works on hand.

Maria Braun:
Books burn too fast. They don't give any heat.

Peddler:
That's one way of looking at it.

Maria Braun:
It's my way.

Peddler:
Right now it's probably the right way.

Maria Braun:
I'm working in a bar - selling beer, not myself.

Doctor:
Even if I've learned to stop believing people here, I still believe you. I know you can take care of yourself. And there's always penicillin.

Vevi:
You're here alone, and your husband's who knows where, maybe even dead. And love's only a feeling; it's not real.

Maria Braun:
But it's a good feeling, and it's real, and it's true.

Vevi:
True? The only thing true is an empty stomach. And feelings are something you have between your legs, like an itch. You can't do it on an empty stomach and with someone who isn't here. Your sweetheart over there, he's here, and he ain't starving, and he's got a feeling for you.

[Maria Braun visits the first-class section of a train]

Maria Braun:
Ever notice how tiny the rest rooms are? I thought they'd be bigger in first class - fatter people.

Karl Oswald:
Senkenberg's basically a good fellow, and so am I.

Maria Braun:
I'm not.

Karl Oswald:
We're businessmen, not bookkeepers.

Senkenberg:
I beg your pardon. I am a bookkeeper.

Karl Oswald:
Sorry.

Maria Braun:
I don't know a thing about business, but I do know what German women want. You might even say I'm an expert on it.

Karl Oswald:
You've no sense of humor. The best accountant in the world and not a nickel's worth of imagination, not a wooden nickel.

Maria Braun:
That's a compliment. Imagination would only be a liability to you. Someone must ensure we don't lose our credit rating.

Karl Oswald:
I suppose we'll just have to wait for a miracle.

Maria Braun:
I prefer making miracles than waiting for them.

Karl Oswald:
You were different last night.

Maria Braun:
Last night I slept with you. Today I'm working for you.

Karl Oswald:
Afraid someone will think we're having an affair?

Maria Braun:
I don't care what people think. I do care what you think. And you're not having an affair with me. I'm having an affair with you.

Karl Oswald:
I feel like a schoolboy.

Maria Braun:
Because you are. A dear, dumb little schoolboy.

Karl Oswald:
Why didn't you want to go?

Maria Braun:
You would've proposed to me.

Karl Oswald:
Right. Is that why - How did you know?

Maria Braun:
I know all about schoolboys.

Senkenberg:
Your union is talking socialism, Klenze, and I don't like it.

Willi Klenze:
We're only paying you back in kind. It's no wonder, the way you play the entrepreneur.

Senkenberg:
The secretary of the treasury said...

Willi Klenze:
Yeah, "We're all in the same boat." Trouble is, it's your boat, and we have to row it.

Maria Braun:
I'm a master of deceit: a capitalist tool by day, and by night an agent of the proletarian masses - the Mata Hari of the Economic Miracle.

[Karl Oswald begins kissing Maria Braun]

Maria Braun:
I thought we were having dinner first.

Karl Oswald:
A good businessman knows how to adapt to circumstances.

Mother:
He kept me warm on those cold nights after the war.

Wetzel:
Oh, really?

Mother:
He always brought me firewood.

Maria Braun:
Most happy people look indecent when one is unhappy.

Mrs. Ehmke:
He wants to talk to you.

Maria Braun:
I said I wasn't here.

Mrs. Ehmke:
(speaking into phone) I'm sorry, she's out of the office.

Maria Braun:
I don't want to go to lunch.

Mrs. Ehmke:
(speaking into phone) She doesn't want to go to lunch - oh, I'm sorry - Hello? Mr. Oswald?

[Mrs. Ehmke hangs up the phone and starts to cry. Maria Braun starts to laugh]

Maria Braun:
What a riot! That's the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Stop crying now. Call him back and tell him I'm possessed by the devil. He can meet the devil for lunch at 1:00 if he wants.

Karl Oswald:
You're cynical.

Maria Braun:
Maybe I am.

Karl Oswald:
You're bored with me.

Maria Braun:
Maybe I am bored with you.

Karl Oswald:
Why don't we just leave?

Maria Braun:
Because you're well brought up and I pretend I am.

Karl Oswald:
Do you want to leave me?

Maria Braun:
That would be stupid. It would only make us unhappier. At least if you know you're unhappy, there's still hope.

Maria Braun:
Betti was your wife, after all - the only person I can tell all my troubles to.

Willi Klenze:
Because she doesn't listen.

Maria Braun:
Could be. You need somebody who listens. I need the opposite.

Maria Braun:
And Annelise - what's she like?

Willi Klenze:
She's what a man needs, someone who is his equal. She can talk, think - my equal in every way.

Maria Braun:
So you think women have to be men's equal?

Willi Klenze:
Sure, except most men aren't conscious of it yet. 'Consciousness lags behind reality.'

Maria Braun:
Did Annelise say that?

Willi Klenze:
Why?

Maria Braun:
You'll wish you had your Betti back.

Maria Braun:
She shares my food and my lies. But she lets me do all the thinking.