DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp

Genie:
[looks through an encyclopedia] Las Vegas must be some place if Caesar built his palace there!

Huey, Dewey, Louie:
Faster, Launch Pad, faster!

Scrooge McDuck:
Slower, Launch Pad, slower!

Huey:
Gee, I guess one of us has got to wish for peace and happiness all over the world.

Genie:
Hey. These are wishes, not miracles.

Scrooge McDuck:
Launchpad! Look what you've done to these ancient ruins!

Launchpad:
Well, it could've been worse - it could've been something *new*.

Scrooge McDuck:
I wouldn't miss this for all the scones in Scotland!

Genie:
Do you have to yell at me all the time?

Scrooge McDuck:
If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be in this mess. Thanks to you, I've got this crazy animal act on my tail.

Genie:
That's it, blame the genie. I only saved your life.

Huey:
How about a small speedboat?

Genie:
Oh, sure. You want that with or without an ocean?

Huey:
A little much, huh?

Genie:
Well, just a tad.

Genie:
I don't hear anything. I think they're gone.

Scrooge McDuck:
Where are we?

Genie:
Well, it's not exactly the Ritz...

Scrooge McDuck:
Not the lamp?

Genie:
I'm sorry about the mess. But you'll get used to it after a couple of thousand years. Could you move your elbow, please?

Scrooge McDuck:
GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Mrs. Beakley:
It's in here, Mr. McDuck!

[gasp]

Mrs. Beakley:
It's gone!

Scrooge McDuck:
Mrs. Beakley, is this a ploy to get some vacation time?

Mrs. Beakley:
It was here! Honest! An elephant, wearing a big pink bow!... You think I'm crazy, don't you?

Scrooge McDuck:
[sees a chair moving away] Maybe not.

Launchpad:
Forward, ho! [They crash] Reverse, ho!

Scrooge McDuck:
If you don't stop crashing, I'll give you the heave ho!

Huey:
This is Geni... Gene, yeah, Gene.

Scrooge McDuck:
You're new around here?

Genie:
Yeah, kinda. I pretty much pop up every now and then.

Louie:
Quackarooney!

[Upon Merlock's arrival, a bear's claw comes smashing through the door]

Scrooge McDuck:
He's got a bear?

Genie:
He IS the bear!

Merlock:
Now, give it to me.

Dijon:
Give? What give?

Merlock:
The map. Give it to me.

Dijon:
The map, that specific map right here right now?

Merlock:
[grabbing Dijon by the collar in fury] You didn't steal it?

Dijon:
Too many people, Merlock. Only one Dijon, but look what I did steal... several billfolds... this handy pocket watch... floss... a date nut bar... and two tickets to the feta cheese festival. For you, master.

[Merlock drops him]

Dijon:
Maybe you would like the floss?

Genie:
What's more important - a fortune or your life?

Scrooge McDuck:
[thinking] Well...

Genie:
Hey! It's not exactly a trick question.

Dijon:
Is there a doctor in the pyramid?

[during Launchpad's flight in the opening scene]

Scrooge McDuck:
Launchpad, is this a stunt you learned in flight school?

Launchpad:
Flight school?

Scrooge McDuck:
You mean you *never* took flying lessons?

Launchpad:
[lunkishly] Well, I took a crash course.

Scrooge McDuck:
Now he tells me.

Scrooge McDuck:
I cannot work, Mrs. Featherby. I'm going home.

Mrs. Featherby:
But... wh-what about your lunch?

Scrooge McDuck:
Sell it! [slams door]

[last lines]

[Dijon makes his escape from Scrooge, his pants loaded to beyond capacity with what he could carry from the money bin]

Scrooge McDuck:
Somebody stop those pants!

Dewey:
Quick, get back in the lamp!

Genie:
No! Not the lamp! Put me in a dog house, a madhouse, even a house of pancakes! Anywhere but the lamp!

Scrooge McDuck:
Since when does a hat have a mind of its own?

Huey:
Wait a second. What about our wishes?

Genie:
Wishes? Do I look like a birthday cake?

Huey:
Oh, come on! You can't fool us! A genie is supposed to grant wishes.

Webby:
That's three wishes for every master.

Genie:
Oh, geez! Everyone remembers that part.

Huey:
Do you think it might have the treasure of Collie Baba and his 40 theives?

Scrooge McDuck:
After all this time, I'm not getting my hopes up.

Launchpad:
Please put your seats back in an upright position.

Scrooge McDuck:
Just put the plane up in an upright position!

Louie:
[Scrooge has opened a chest stolen by Collie Baba and discovers it to be full of clothes] He stole clothes?

Scrooge McDuck:
Ah, nothing but old robes. 40 years of searching, and all I end up with is Collie Baba's dirty laundry!

Webby:
Well, at least the box is pretty, Uncle Scrooge.

Dewey:
[referring to Merlock] He can't still be alive.

Louie:
He'd be ancient.

Huey:
Yeah, older than Uncle Scrooge, even.

Genie:
Yes, except his first wish was to live for ever.

Huey:
Oh! Good wisher!

Genie:
[bursts into tears] No, BAD wisher! You don't know! He made me do the worst things!

Dewey:
Like what?

Genie:
Did you ever hear of Atlantis? It was everybody's favorite resort until Merlock couldn't make any reservations! Then down she went!... And poor Pompei! Mount Vesuvius would never had blown its top if Merlock hadn't blown his!

Louie:
But what are you worried about? He used up all his wishes.

Genie:
But that's just it - Merlock has unlimited wishes, because he has a magic talisman. It's what gives him all his powers... and when he puts it on the lamp, he gets as many wishes as he wants! Now you see why I'm a little jumpy?

Louie:
Well, maybe we should wish for the talisman?

Genie:
No, that's the one wish I can't do. You'll have to steal it from him yourself, and good luck!

Louie:
Well, don't worry about that mean old master now.

Dewey:
Yeah, he has no idea you're here with us.

Huey:
And that's the way it's going to stay.

Genie:
First, you have to hold the lamp...

Louie:
Yeah?

Genie:
Then, say, "I wish."

Huey:
Yeah?

Genie:
Then wish for something.

Huey:
That's all?

Dewey:
Boy! It's even user-friendly!

Genie:
Shabooey!

Louie:
It's a genie, isn't it?

Dewey:
It's not the tooth fairy.

Dewey:
What is that? A Mexican Jumping Lamp?

Huey:
Can't he stay with us, Uncle Scrooge?

Dewey:
Yeah.

Scrooge McDuck:
Oh no! I'm not letting this wee gold mine out of my sight!

Dewey:
But he's our friend.

Scrooge McDuck:
Nonsense! A genie's not a person! A genie is a-a-a... a thing!

[holds up lamp]

Scrooge McDuck:
Inside.

Genie:
Bye, guys. It was great while it lasted.

Dewey:
Webby! What did you do this time?

Webby:
I'm sorry. Just make them stop!

Louie:
But I've only got one wish left!

Scrooge McDuck:
Boys! What is going on?

Huey:
Uh-oh. Looks like the jig is up. Go ahead, Louie.

Dijon:
Where is everybody?

Merlock:
They have vanished!

Dijon:
But how?

Merlock:
[shouts] With the lamp, you fool! And you will help me get it back...

[shows Dijon a group of giant scorpions]

Merlock:
...or their sting will seem like a tickle compared to mine.

Louie:
I'm going to wish for a million wishes!

Genie:
Get serious! That never works!

Dewey:
Do you think we'll see a mummy?

Dijon:
That reminds me, my mummy's expecting me. It's time for my nap.

Louie:
Where are you going to keep all this treasure, Uncle Scrooge?

Scrooge McDuck:
I won't keep it all, Louie. Most of these artifacts will go to museums.

Louie:
That doesn't sound like Uncle Scrooge.

Scrooge McDuck:
That way, I can enjoy a healthy tax break!

Huey:
That does!

Dewey:
What a ride!

Louie:
Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing it again now that I know that you can live through it!

Webby:
After I'm done polishing my teapot, we can have a tea party with all my dollies.

Huey:
Thanks for the warning.

Genie:
Finally, room to stretch! My foot's been asleep for six centuries.

Huey:
You read the whole encyclopedia?

Genie:
Cover to cover to cover... what's this? Baseball? Bowling ball? Cinderella's ball?

Huey:
No, it's a globe of the Earth.

Genie:
Get back. You mean the Earth isn't flat? I must have missed that part.

Louie:
Boy, he HAS been in that lamp for a long time!

[for her first wish, Webby wished for a baby elephant and the genie grants it against his will; a baby elephant appears in the room]

Genie:
Now look what you've gone and done!

Webby:
What's wrong? She's cute.

Genie:
And big! Big wishes always big trouble! The bigger the wish, the bigger the trouble!

Louie:
He's right. One look at that elephant, and Uncle Scrooge will want to know what's up.

Genie:
Everyone who sees it will, and pretty soon, everyone will be fighting over me, the wishes will get out of control, and I'll end up being in the lamp for another thousand years!

Louie:
Jeepers! I hadn't thought of that!

Genie:
So please, please! Make small wishes!

Huey:
I wish for the world's biggest ice cream sundae. Uh, but not too big.

Genie:
Ice cream sundae, come on down! [Ice cream and whipped cream fall from the sky and land in the kiddie pool, but a giant cherry lands on Huey's head]

Genie:
Better watch out for that wind sheer.

Webby:
Genie, you're gonna love playing tea party.

Genie:
I know. I read all about it. Can I be the guy who dresses like an Indian and throws the tea off the boat?

Webby:
No silly, not a Boston Tea Party.

Mrs. Beakley:
If there's one thing I hate more than elephants in the house, it's rats!

Genie:
Wish them back, please!

Webby:
I can't! That was my last wish!

Genie:
I wish you hadn't said that!

Genie:
You call these party animals? They're lifeless!

Scrooge McDuck:
I can wish for the world's biggest diamond... no, the biggest diamond mine... no, no, all the diamond mines... no, the entire mining industry! I can see why this can take some careful thought.

Genie:
Music! Food! Guacamole! It's a party! Gotta boogie! Gotta Bingo! I gotta get out of this lamp!

Scrooge McDuck:
Can you keep quiet at all?

Genie:
If you let me out, I'll be as quiet as a mouse and just as small.

Scrooge McDuck:
Oh, all right!

[lets the genie out]

Genie:
Hey! Look at that! A couple of single guys out on the town!

Scrooge McDuck:
Guess again.

[puts genie in a little plant]

Scrooge McDuck:
You can watch the ball from here. Otherwise, you go back in the lamp.

Genie:
But what if I win the door prize?

Genie:
It's not my fault Merlock's after me. I don't just want to be Mr. Popularity. All I wanted was a life of my own... like your nephews. My own bike, stack of comic books, a sled, maybe some ski equipment, a CD player, my own home video entertainment system...

Scrooge McDuck:
All right! All right!

Dijon:
Good morning, Scrooge sir.

Scrooge McDuck:
What's going on?

Dijon:
At the urging of MY Genie, I have decided to seek my fortune.

Genie:
I-I never thought he'd wish for your fortune, Mr. McDuck, I swear!

Scrooge McDuck:
[looks at his lamp] But th-the lamp?... Gravy?

Dijon:
[holds up the real lamp] That's right! I get the loot, you get the boot!

Scrooge McDuck:
Wiped out with a wish. If I ever get my money back, I promise I'll never make another wish for myself again.

Louie:
At least we still have each other. Think of poor Genie.

Dewey:
If only there was a way we could sneak in and get back the lamp.

Huey:
But there are so many alarms.

Scrooge McDuck:
Aye, hundreds... and 14, 657 ways to trigger them.

Dewey:
And you know each and every one, don't you, Uncle Scrooge?

Scrooge McDuck:
Aye.

Louie:
Maybe the way to shut them off?

Scrooge McDuck:
Aye! Come lads! Something tells me we should plan a full-scale invasion!

Dijon:
Everything smells delicious when you're rich! [smells his cape] Even me!

Genie:
Shouldn't we be bird watching?

Dijon:
Don't worry about Merlock. He would not dare to confront the great and powerful Dijon!... Anyway, I don't think he knows about me yet.

Launchpad:
I've got the bin at 12:00 high, Mr. McD... give or take 10 minutes.

Dijon:
Whoever said money cannot buy peace of mind must have had the brain of a garbonzo bean.

Merlock:
You remember our magnificent old home?

Genie:
Yeah, Casa De Coo-Coo.

Scrooge McDuck:
Genie, get ready to grant my last wish... and yours too. I wish... the genie... would turn into... a real boy.

Genie:
I'm a boy! I'm a real boy! Now I can do all the things real boys do! Run through fields, play catch, roll over... wait, that's a dog.

Genie:
How can I ever thank you, Master?

Scrooge McDuck:
I'm not your master anymore!

Genie:
That's right! Can I call you "Uncle Scrooge"?

Scrooge McDuck:
You're a sweet kid, but don't press your luck.

Dewey:
So, what do you want to do as your first day as a boy?

Genie:
Well, let me put it this way... you'll never catch me, coppers!

Huey:
Quackarooney!

Louie:
Oh boy!

Dewey:
I'm gonna get you!

Webby:
Are you coming with us, Uncle Scrooge?

Scrooge McDuck:
You go ahead, Webby dear. We quad-zillionaires have our own ideas of fun.

Merlock:
At last, after all these centuries, the lamp will be mine again!

Dijon:
Yes, yes! You will be more powerful than, than... locomotive! More faster than speeding bull! You will leap all buildings in a single town!

Genie:
Oh no! It's Merlock! Hide me! Hide me!

Scrooge McDuck:
I've got to get you to my vault. It's the only safe place. Time to go back.

Genie:
But you saw what a dump it is.

Scrooge McDuck:
Sorry, Genie, but the party's over.

Genie:
[sighs] And just when we were getting to be buddies.

Scrooge McDuck:
Dijon!

Dijon:
[about to grab the lamp, but quickly stops] What? What? I am not touching a thing! I am clean! Innocent like a little baby goat! Yes.

Scrooge McDuck:
Go get our sacks.

Dijon:
Sacks? Oh, yes, sacks! Right away. Anything you say, Scrooge, sir. I do for you.

Huey:
I don't see anything, Uncle Scrooge.

Dewey:
Not even a mirage.

Launchpad:
Maybe we made a wrong turn at that last sand dune.

Mrs. Featherby:
Duckburg Daily News on line one, sir.

Scrooge McDuck:
For what?

Mrs. Featherby:
I believe they want to ask what happened to the treasure.

Scrooge McDuck:
[picks up the phone and shouts into it] None of your business!

[slams the phone]

Mrs. Featherby:
You've finally received your invitation to the Archaeological Society ball.

Scrooge McDuck:
Ah! How can I face those old fossils again? Every year, I tell them, "I'll find Collie Baba's treasure," and every time, I come back empty-handed.

Mrs. Featherby:
But you did have it for a little while.

Scrooge McDuck:
Does *everyone* have to remind me?

Mrs. Featherby:
Sorry.

Genie:
Hey, Pop! Give me a five! Get down! Get back! Get real! Get a haircut!

Merlock:
Are you certain this is where Scrooge lives?

Dijon:
Oh, this time I am very sure. I think.

Merlock:
Then we begin our search.

Dijon:
In the light? But I am not a popular favorite of that house! Scrooge find me, he kill me!

Merlock:
[shoves Dijon back into a briar patch] Then stay behind, if you wish! I'll try very hard to remember you at reward time.

Scrooge McDuck:
Blow me bagpipes! He's a genie!

Mrs. Beakley:
Does his mother know about this?

Genie:
Wait, wait! Why give him the lamp?

Dijon:
Because the master wants it so badly.

Genie:
But don't you see, with the lamp you'll be the big chief? The hot falafel? The most powerful person on Earth? Oh, great master!

Dijon:
Master? Master? Master Dijon? Oh, I like it! I really like it!

Scrooge McDuck:
Launchpad, get me out of here fast!

Launchpad:
Dull party, eh, Mr. McD?

Scrooge McDuck:
Just go!

Scrooge McDuck:
You maniac! Return the bin before I stuff that lamp down your throat!

Genie:
Uh-uh! Bad move! Bad!

Merlock:
You threaten me?

Genie:
[runs to Merlock] Please, Merlock. He's had a lousy day. Maybe a hot bath and a warm glass of goats milk oughta do...

Merlock:
[shouts] Silence! I wish you to cast him out of my house!

Genie:
No! No! I can't!

Merlock:
[shouts] Do it

[he points the lamp at Genie causing him to spin around]

Genie:
[in pain] I have no choice!

Scrooge McDuck:
I... I understand.

Mrs. Beakley:
Children, I think your uncle has something to say to you.

Scrooge McDuck:
Aye... Welcome home! Can I get you and Gene anything? Cookies? Milk? Ice cream?

Huey:
Oh, no thank you, Uncle Scrooge.

Louie:
Yeah, we're kind of full.

Webby:
And sleepy.

Scrooge McDuck:
That's because it's past your bedtime. Now, scoot along, little ones.

Huey, Dewey, Louie, Webby:
Good night, Uncle Scrooge.

Genie:
Nighty-night.

Scrooge McDuck:
Sleep tight.

Duckworth:
That's telling them, Sir.

Duckworth:
Oh dear, Launchpad isn't answering. He must be on his way. Won't you go, sir?

Scrooge McDuck:
Aye, to work! Tell Launchpad he can take YOU to the ball!

Dijon:
Master, all this flip-flapping - maybe we take the bus back?

Huey:
Dijon has everything - the mansion, the factories...

Duckworth:
Even your spat collection, sir.

Genie:
[looks in a fridge] Whoo, cold food closet! Where do you hang the chickens?

Scrooge McDuck:
Don't bother landing! I don't have time for any more disasters!

Scrooge McDuck:
I told you, I'm not going to the ball!

Duckworth:
But sir, I've already arranged for Launchpad to take you to the society's mountain lodge...

Scrooge McDuck:
So cancel Launchpad! I'll not only save face, but my life as well!

Scrooge McDuck:
I wish me, and my family, and the bin were back in Duckburg, right now!

Mrs. Beakley:
Here ratty, ratty, come to nanny... [sees a bunch of sentient toys]

Mrs. Beakley:
Ahhhh! This isn't a house, it's a zoo!

[Merlock, as a hawk, flies over Scrooge's estate carrying Dijon]

Dijon:
There it is, Merlock, there it is! You can drop me off anywhere along here...

[over a briar patch]

Dijon:
B-but not there! Not there! Ahhhh! That's quite a mean and nasty barb!

Merlock:
Where is the lamp?

Launchpad:
Either the water's getting higher or the roof is getting lower!