Eat with Me

Jenny:
[seeing Elliot's mom] You know, I always pictured her a little different.

Elliot:
Different how?

Jenny:
Well, I don't see the horns or the tail; so, she already doesn't match your description.

Elliot:
Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little bit.

Emma:
[checking Elliot's empty refrigerator] Did you get robbed?

Elliot:
Yeah, and they just raided the fridge.

Jenny:
So... how's your mom?

Elliot:
She's fine, I guess.

Jenny:
Interesting. So SHE can stay there, but I can't give birth there? I see how it is.

Maureen:
Oh, for f***'s sake. First you're cleaning your husband's house, now you're cleaning your son's apartment?

Emma:
I just think there are certain things we don't need to talk about.

Maureen:
Well, then... why are you so obsessed with his sex life?

Emma:
I'm just worried about him.

Maureen:
What, that he's havin' fun?

Emma:
No, that... he's... being safe.

Maureen:
Well, now at least you know he is - or WAS until you stole his condoms.

Ian:
[looking for relationship potential after anonymous sex] Look, we don't have to do all this if you don't want to.

Elliot:
What?

Ian:
I get it. You're not into it. It's okay.

Elliot:
What do you mean?

Ian:
Look at you. You're physically moving away from me right now. We should just walk away like nothing happened. I'm not normally that guy, but I can do it.

Emma:
But what do I have if I don't believe in anything?

Maureen:
AHHH! You just discovered why people drink.