Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds

Helen:
[sobbing] You're a fag and I want my little f*ggot back!

[Troy drops his robe, ready to model nude for art class]

Troy:
[to Mr. Thompson] So, uh, w-where do you want me?

Tiffani:
[almost to herself] On my face!

Neil:
[to Troy, nervously] D-Right here on my desk and, uh, we'll get you in, um, several different positions.

Kyle:
[almost to himself] Missionary, reverse-cowgirl, sixty-nine...

[while sketching Troy in class]

Tiffani:
[drooling] I wanna hit that harder than Ike hit Tina.

Kyle:
[ditto] I wanna be wrapped in his arms forever and ever.

Gwen Anderson:
I wanna see him get it on with his boyfriend.

Kyle:
You think he's gay?

Gwen Anderson:
Does Whitney want crack?

Kyle:
I ate p*ssy for nothing?

Tiffani:
Be proud, bi-boy!

Tiffani:
I just... I just want to hear "I love you" instead of "Take it, you tight, little snatch."

Troy:
Would you do me the biggest favor?

Kyle:
Oh, of course I'd do you.

[Helen, coming upon her son Kyle kissing Tiffani in public, thinks her son's gone straight while Marc and Troy watch]

Helen:
[joyfully, after smothering her son with kisses] You don't understand. I used to catch this boy masturbating with every vegetable in the frig, and now THIS!

Helen:
[to Kyle] Have you told that awful ex-boyfriend of yours yet?

Kyle:
[looking over to "awful ex-boyfriend" Marc] Mom, I-I have a feeling that he already knows.

Marc:
I have a feeling this is the funniest thing he's ever seen.

Kyle:
Well, I have a feeling that the childish things that he's doing are acts of jealousy; and, in some small way, it's kind of nice to know that he cares for a change.

Helen:
Who gives a sh*t about him? I'm gonna be a grandma!

Tiffani:
[about whether Troy is straight or gay] He's an enigma, f***ing a riddle, f***ing a mystery.

Gwen Anderson:
Oh, don't even think you're breaking up with me. I'm breaking up with you.

Shane:
Huh?

Gwen Anderson:
I've sat in millions of bedrooms and listened to millions of boys tell me they're leaving me for the poll. I'm not gonna sit here and have one leave me for p*ssy.

Shane:
What!

Gwen Anderson:
I'm leaving you, Shane! Go NOT suck all the dick ya want!

Jacob Buchanan:
Stop the spread of faggotry!

Tiffani:
Okay, just because we used to date the same loser doesn't mean we have to be all cunty to each other.

Kyle:
Hey, I'm a catch.

Gwen Anderson:
Says who, your mom?

Jacob Buchanan:
[softly] Octavio, introductions lead to conversations lead to invitations of intercourse with the wrong persuasion. I'll do the introducing.

Jacob Buchanan:
[to Kyle and Troy] What the Hell do you want?

Violet M?fdaver:
[hearing Kyle's description of Tiffani] Is Tiffany a rhinoceros?

Kyle:
Size doesn't matter.

Tiffani:
[keenly observant] You haven't f***ed him yet.

Marc:
Hey, I don't treat people like pieces of meat.

Tiffani:
Well, you should. It's fun.

Troy:
[watching Kyle and Tiffany kissing] Wow. You two get a room. Invite me over.

Kyle:
This is war! Marc is gonna rue the day he ever messed with me!

Tiffani:
Wow, you almost seem like a top!

Tiffani:
Oh, hi, yummy. I'm Tiffany.

Octavio:
The rhinoceros?

Marc:
Gwen was my last girlfriend.

Gwen Anderson:
And Marc was my first. After him, all I ever wanted to date were fags.