Flexing with Monty

Monty:
Don't you knock pushups, bud. They got me where I am today. In two years... two years I will be head of the athletic department.

Bertin:
Yeah. Yeah, you know, I gotta hand it to you. You just twitch a little muscle and you got all the faculty hangin' by the hair in your armpits.

Bertin:
Hey, you know, couple of the girls in calculus were talkin' about how you wear your pants so tight. They'd like to know if you spray 'em on.

Monty:
Nothin' like a good healthy stink! It's the way nature intended it to be, bud.

Bertin:
I'm pregnant with my mother again, the mother I never knew. She wants to be born this time. Granny should've never had my mother aborted. The fetus... Does she flush it down the toilet or throw it in the garbage?

Monty:
Your head's full o' junk. It's probably why you're constipated.

Monty:
Worship my boot, you monkey-f***er! That's what you and your kind are - monkey-f***ers - having never read the Bible, that passage about men screwin' men? Kiss my boot before I bash your f***in' head in!

[Gay Man kisses his boot]

Monty:
Yeah, it's you monkey-f***in' faggots that started the plague!

Gay Man:
I don't know what you're talking about.

Monty:
I'm talkin' about AIDS, f*ggot. That butt-f***in', dick-blowin', needle-poppin' disease of the twentieth century.

Gay Man:
Hey, you're crazy!

Monty:
Oh, you think so? Oh! Oh, I hear you faggots have progressed to pig-f***ing, and some of you even sticking gerbils up your asses. What's next, huh? What's next? Sucking off aborted fetuses? It's your unclean f***in' that's bringing down our civilization, that's perverting the once clean masculine nature of the greatest power in the world - the United... States... of America. I bet you even indulge in the food of the sodomites - stewed monkey nuts and fried rat c*nt.

Monty:
Would you like to squeeze my fleshy soul?

Lillith:
In time, after the great nuclear meltdown, we will revert to the slime of our earliest ancestors, but what is most frightening is that we, the women of the world, will have to lay eggs in a marsh.

Lillith:
I crave fires. I light them whenever I can. Huge devouring flames, their white heat caressing my flesh. It's more exciting then being touched by hands.

Bertin:
Your navel twitches like the dead white eye of a blind beggar.

Lillith:
I always had a yen for stuffed cabbage... if it's done right. It's all in the seasoning and the way that the meat is chopped.