Grand Slam

Peter Stanislavsky:
My books cannot be written in a week. It takes, maybe, years! And when its finished an published, if I sell 2,000 copies, its good.

Marcia Stanislavsky:
How much can you make out of 2.000 copies?

Peter Stanislavsky:
Oh, about 700 dollars, if the publisher is generous.

Marcia Stanislavsky:
Darling, I'm sorry, I love you just the way you are.

Peter Stanislavsky:
Oh, I don't know, I think maybe it is better for you, oh, a waiter, I'll probably always be a waiter.

Marcia Stanislavsky:
Don't say that. Smile. Come on, smile for the pretty lady. Ha-ha-ha. Hold me, Peter. Tight. Tighter. Mmmm.

Peter Stanislavsky:
When you are like this,

Marcia Stanislavsky:
You're marvelous.

Peter Stanislavsky:
[Slams phone down] This is my night off!

Marcia Stanislavsky:
What is it, darling?

Peter Stanislavsky:
Oh, I must go again tonight. 270 Park Avenue. Another stupid party, I suppose.

Marcia Stanislavsky:
Oh well, it means a 10 dollar tip, anyway.

Peter Stanislavsky:
Yes, but my book, I never finish it.

Marcia Stanislavsky:
I'll meet you on the corner of 48th and 5th at 11.

Marcia Stanislavsky:
How have you been?

Philip 'Speed' McCann:
Okay. I've been working pretty hard. I just finished writing a book called Sex and What Causes It. It's for Bernard McGovern. I got five grand out of it.

Marcia Stanislavsky:
Five grand!

Philip 'Speed' McCann:
For only two weeks work. How have you been?

Marcia Stanislavsky:
Oh, boy.

Marcia Stanislavsky:
Speed, take me out somewhere. I want to go out and play.

Philip 'Speed' McCann:
I'd love to. That will be delightful. I've got to telephone. Oh, telephone. [Picks up the phone] Skylar 5-3-7-6-6.

Philip 'Speed' McCann:
Well, you dirty coward! Hitting a man with his pajamas on!

Cedric Van Dorn:
I'm very busy. What can I do for you?

Peter Stanislavsky:
Mr. Van Dorn, I have a proposition.

Cedric Van Dorn:
I'm not interested in any proposition from you, Mr. Stanislavsky.

Peter Stanislavsky:
There is money in it, for you. Lots of it.

Cedric Van Dorn:
Won't you sit down.

Cedric Van Dorn:
You're just a faker, the world knows it.

Peter Stanislavsky:
And what would you call yourself?

Cedric Van Dorn:
Haven't you read my book?

Peter Stanislavsky:
No, thanks. I have my own.

Cedric Van Dorn:
Yours was written by Speed McCann.

Peter Stanislavsky:
So was yours.

Cedric Van Dorn:
But you were only a waiter.

Peter Stanislavsky:
And you were only the Cherokee Indian that went around with the traveling medicine salesman.

Cedric Van Dorn:
Yes sir. But, I ultimately became promoted to salesman.

Peter Stanislavsky:
Well, if you ask me, being a bridge expert is a step down from being a fake Cherokee Indian.

Cedric Van Dorn:
Between you and me, I preferred to be an Indian. You didn't have to have so much sex appeal.

Marcia Stanislavsky:
Oh, he's bridge mad. He'll be bridge mad for the rest of his life. And I'm the one who started him. Oh, Speed, I feel like a creator of a Frankenstein.

Philip 'Speed' McCann:
I like them myself.

Marcia Stanislavsky:
Like what?

Philip 'Speed' McCann:
Those Frankensteins. You know, on a roll with mustard. Ha-ha-ha. Ain't I the clip.

Contest Radio Announcer:
They won the first three rubbers. And it began to look good for the Alexandrovitch Stanislavsky team. But, now they have lost two rubbers straight. Yes, it looks bad folks. It looks bad.