H*A*R*F*A

Svevlad:
[Returning to his office from lunch] Boss... What are you doing at my computer?

Miro:
Checking. Checking if you worked anything this morning.

Svevlad:
Of course I did. I didn't sleep on the job.

Miro:
Svevlad, how long have you been working here? I'll tell you: a whole year. I think it is about time that you made an audit all by yourself. Without any help. Without Klaudija. Alone. So that we can throw you a little bit into the fire.

Svevlad:
Alone? I mean... At least two people always went to an audit. But OK... If you say so.

Miro:
[after Petar delivered the pizza to the office] This all could have been yours if you kept your job. But no, you became a delivery boy. Is that really better for you than to be an auditor?

Petar, pizza delivery boy:
It is better as long as I don't have to see you all day. Here you are, and goodbye.

Miro:
Oh, Petar. Wait, let me pay you for a once.

Klaudija:
[Refering to Miro] He is awful, without mercy. Last month, it was his birthday, and everyone in the agency had to go to his party. And applaud him. And praise him. And even the ones he audited. And you know exactly that the employees who applaud him the loudest will get the biggest salary.

Svevlad:
Yeah, I know. I didn't want to go either, but everything is difficult when you have to do it. Anyway... This job makes no sense. This is probably the dumbest job I ever had to do. Ever. It's all just from empty into hollow. Empty reports, empty digits... Urghh. A mass of nonsense.

Klaudija:
A completely empty and meaningless job.

Svevlad:
Hi, Ena

Ena:
I heard you lost your job. I'm sorry.

Svevlad:
Yeah, what can you do.

Ena:
We from the department bought you something to remember us by.

[She puts a bottled water in his box]

Ena:
I hope we will stay in touch as good friends.

Svevlad:
Thanks. Greet Klaudija from me.

Ena:
Ah, she threw herself from the top of the building. Too much pressure and such stuff, you know.

Svevlad:
Oh... I see.

Nevenko:
Secondly, more importantly. Miro, that thing with Svevlad... You cannot send a man alone in an audit. That is illegal. You know that. The law says that at least two have to go. But OK, he didn't know that so he was fired. Right? But in the future, be more careful. Someone might catch you.

Miro:
The important thing is that we got rid of him. That is the only thing of importance here. I never liked his clothes. He dressed up like some sort of a pirate, not an auditor. But you read all that in my report, right?

Nevenko:
No, I didn't read it. But I trust you did everything right.

Nevenko:
Goodbye, Miro.

Miro:
Goodbye.

[He exits the director's office and closes the door]

Miro:
One day, Seprtlje, I will topple you from that plastic throne!

Miro:
[Walking together with Ena] When is our bus leaving, Ena?

Ena:
In four minutes. [Upon hearing that, Miro starts walking three times faster and leaves Ena far behind]

Longo:
Oh, Mr. Graborka, welcome to Elixir!

Miro:
Good day.

Longo:
But... Where is your assistant? Mrs. Ena?

Miro:
I don't know, I have no time for such trivialities. Please, let's not waste time.

Miro:
Dear Gentlemen, I will now tell you my criteria for the review of your company. If the accuracy of your documents is 90%, you will get a passing grade, a D. If I find that the accuracy of your documents is 99%, that will get you a C. And a 100% accuracy is a B, very good. If you have any questions, feel free to pose them now.

Svevlad:
...And what is then required for an A?

Miro:
[laughs]

Miro:
Have I ever told you the story how I managed to beat up Cassius Clay?

Longo:
Today even my niece could beat him up!

Miro:
What would your niece do? He is protected by two bodyguards non-stop! His retirement home is like a fortress! But I watched him closely for months. I recorded his routine, like a real auditor! One day, he went to a store to buy a newspaper. I sneak up behind his back, kick that crotch of his, he falls, his catheter spills all over the floor, and I kick him two or three times and then run away! He, of course, cannot stand up, so I won. And that makes me one of only three people who ever managed to beat Cassius Clay!

Miro:
[talking on the phone] And for the weekend, the two of us will go to the congress of auditors together... What do you mean you are not going? Honey... We are going, Nives. We are going, or I will fire you!

Miro:
Look, a nickle. I found a nickle. Ha! Yes!

Nevenko:
[puts his arm around him] We found a nickle! Ha, ha!

Miro:
[shoves him away] Get away from me, you failed boss!