Hagiga B'Snuker

[at the Rabbi's house]

Rabbi:
Who are the ten righteous, who were promised in their lives, that they would enter Heaven?

Hannukah:
In their lives!

Azriel Levi:
Enoch son of Jared, Eliezer servant of Abraham, Bithiah daughter of Pharoah, Serah daughter of Asher, Elijah the prophet, Messiah son of David, Hiram king of Tyre, Ebed-Melech the Ethiopian, Javitz son of Rabbi, rabbi Joshua son of Levi.

Rabbi:
[impressed] Very well.

Rabbi:
[to Azriel, approvingly] If there is no flour, there is no Torah.

[Famous Jewish phrase, meaning that person cannot live only by studying Torah, but must provide himself the material needs]

Hannukah:
What flour, rabbi? He's not working in a bakery! He deals with guavas, apricots, vegetables, fruits...

[Azriel asked glass of milk from the rabbi, unaware that his twin brother had shortly ago eaten meatballs. The rabbi exploded in rage and threw him out of the house. Azriel is confused]

Azriel Levi:
[to Hannukah] But what did I do? Did you see me eating a meatball?

Hannukah:
Ya waradi! What a meatball!

Hannukah:
Ya waradi! Each lens, a microscope!

Hannukah:
[to Gavriel, when he sees Azriel approaching] Cough. The potato is coming.

Hannukah:
[introduces Azriel's fake family to the Rabbi] They don't drink, they don't smoke, they don't play snooker. Regular righteous among the nations.

[a term usually used to describe gentiles that saved Jews during the Holocaust]

Hannukah:
Don't eh... exercise! [Hannukah trying to tell Salvador "Don't exagerate" in his broken English]

Salvador:
What did Jacob tell Esau?

Mushon:
When?

Salvador:
What "When?"? When they met!

Mushon:
Oh! Did they meet?

Salvador:
Of course they met!

Mushon:
Where?

Salvador:
At Bloomfield.

[a famous Israeli Soccer stadium]

Mushon:
[smirks foolishly] Ah... Bloomfield...