Homestarrunner.com: Everything Else, Volume 2

Homestarrunner.com: Everything Else, Volume 2

Homestar Runner:
Hey Strong Bad, I really like your costume. The Spanish Inquisition? That's great.

Strong Bad:
Look, for the last time, I'm not The Spanish Inquisition, I'm not Cab Calloway, and I'm not Strong Bad wearing a yellow turtleneck! I'm Carmen freakin' Sandiego!

Marzipan:
I like Cab Calloway.

Strong Bad:
Okay, Poopsmith, that's the worst costume I ever saw. I mean, you're *Lazer Tag*? What, are you supposed to be dressed up as the product? Or is it more abstract than that, like you're supposed to be the concept of Lazer Tag? Come on man, you know you just found that old crap in a trunk in your basement.

The King of Town:
Ease off, Strong Bad! He's not the one that dressed up as a *girl* two years in a row.

Strong Bad:
Oh ho ho ho, you asked for it, King.

[Strong Mad punches The King of Town]

Marzipan:
What's wrong with girls?

Bubs:
Did any of you guys go to that house that was giving out change? I changed my costume and went back ten times. I made 35 dollars!

Strong Sad:
Did you guys go to that house where they let you into this big room and there's all these people wearing black hoods and they ask you these questions about life and existence and if you answer them wrong you get eternal damnation, but if you answer them right you get a Twizzler?

Strong Bad:
Um, no.

Homestar Runner:
No.

Coach Z:
Nope.

The King of Town:
No.

Bubs:
Nope.

The Cheat:
[a The Cheat noise that means, "No."]

Strong Mad:
No.

Marzipan:
No.

Strong Sad:
Oh, never mind.

Marzipan:
I like your costume, Strong Sad, but you weren't invited this year.

Coach Z:
Say, Pom Pom, check out this funky bass groove: a doo'rear, a doo'ri, a doo'rear, a doo'ri!

[He grooves around a little]

Homestar Runner:
I really have to pee.

Strong Bad:
Yeah, and the Poopsmith's not smelling any rosier, neither.

Homestar Runner:
Oh, oh, I've got an idea! Let's totally freak 'em out. Let's repeat the stuff that we just said! Hey, Strong Bad, I really like your costume. The Spanish Inquisition? That's great...

[the Homestar characters decide to celebrate Halloween by taking turns telling a scary story holding a flashlight; everything they say is interpreted in a thought bubble]

Homestar Runner:
[holding the flashlight] Once, there was this green goblin... [a goblin appears in the thought bubble] And he used to look around... and, um, I guess he did a dance... [the goblin dances a little bit] Oh, man, that was terrible. [Homestar hands the flashlight to Bubs]

Bubs:
And, the goblin, he had a Gremlin! And he jacked it up on some fat tires, and uh, and he tuned it up on some 4.11 positrak out back, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bore over 30, 11-to-1 pop-up pistons turbo jets 390 horsepower! I mean, he had some freakin' muscle!

[Bubs hands the flashlight to Pom Pom, who simply bubbles like always. Three girls with Pom Pom's head appear in the thought bubble. Then Pom Pom hands the flashlight to Marzipan]

Marzipan:
One of the girls had a cute little kitten named Kitty-kitty. The other girl had a cute little puppy named Chris. And then the third girl was a Republican.

Strong Bad:
Oh, brother! Gimme that! [Strong Bad snatches the flashlight from Marzipan; a robot appears in the thought bubble and vaporizes everything in it with his laser, except the goblin] So then the robot came and he started vaporizing everything with his vapor-gun! And he was like, "You take this, and you'd better, you, and you take this, everybody's gonna die!" And then he said, "Oh, the Gremlin! I hate the Goblin Gremlin! Bah!" [pause] I need to get some more punch. [Strong Bad hands the flashlight to The King of Town]

The King of Town:
And there was fried fish and heavenly ham and Salisbury sundaes and globs of meringue and strawberry frosted donuts and bowls full of jelly and Klondike pudding and scrumptious fillers... and... Doo! Doo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! [the King hands the flashlight to Strong Sad]

Strong Sad:
And so it turns out the robot had a human brain, which was stolen from a kindly old man, and the children of that old man came to the robot looking for their father, and they called out to him. And the robot's human brain remembered his children and his stolen life, and he was moved to tears. But the tears shorted out his circuits and fried his brain. And the robot toppled over and he crushed his children and the goblin, too. And none of them lived.

[Everyone cries and leaves, since it was a sad story]


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