I'm Reed Fish

Reed Fish:
And with that, my friends... have a marvelous day in the Meadows.

Frank Cortez:
I'll zoom the zorse.

Reed Fish:
Oh and hey Kate, don't zorse around too much at work today.

Kate Peterson:
Um Reed, just so you know, that joke isn't funny. Don't use it on the show.

Kate Peterson:
I can't wait to try that asparagus again.

Reed Fish:
Sorry, what?

Kate Peterson:
The asparagus.

Reed Fish:
The asparagus? What are you talking about?

Kate Peterson:
Mrs. Sandstrom's asparagus.

Reed Fish:
Ah! The asparagus.

Kate Peterson:
What? You don't like it?

Reed Fish:
Uh, I don't know... it tastes asparagusy.

Rex:
So, Jill, I... I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I acted when you broke up with me. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. Or threw that hamburger at you.

Ralph:
Easy to get a beer gut when you own a bar. You don't even notice as it happens. Then all of a sudden, you look down and you can't even see your own damn shoes anymore. Yeah, I can't wait for that day.

Theresa:
[at the wedding altar]... and so I know, Andrew, that you will always, always protect me.

Andrew:
Word.

Frank Cortez:
Did you know the human eye expands by 45% when it sees something pretty?

Andrew:
You're knocking over my career!

Reed Fish:
I'm Reed Fish b*tch!