If My Mother... Only Knew

[first lines]

Dianne:
[on phone] I don't know why I call. We always aggravate each other. [pause] Just send the check.

Dianne:
[on phone] Have you ever heard the word 'a**hole', Roger? A**hole, that's right. It's spelled A-S-S-H-O-L-E. You're a prick! That's right. Oh, you want me to spell that, too? P-R-I-C-K. Unfortunately, darling, you don't have any balls. If you had any balls, you'd have stuck it out with *me*.

[last lines]

Dianne:
I'm sorry. Darling, I truly am sorry.

Hope:
Mom, you've already said that. It doesn't bother me anymore. Besides I've got somebody new now. As a matter of fact, he should be here. We're going to the harbor today. You wanna come?

Dianne:
Oh, I'm not dressed to go anywhere. Thanks anyway, though.

Hope:
Well, at least ya gotta meet him when he comes in.

Dianne:
Honey, look at me. I look terrible.

Hope:
Mom, it's nothing he's not going to recognize. Anyway, all I can tell you is he's a lot better f*** than Robby ever was.

Lynanne:
Hope, I think I'm gay.

Hope:
Oh Lynanne, don't worry about that, honey. I've always kinda suspected it, anyway. It doesn't matter. You're my friend. I love you.

Hope:
Baby, I want you to make love to me.