Madea's Class Reunion

Diana Massey:
So, how can you tell if a man is cheating on you?

Madea:
You think your man cheatin on you?

Diana Massey:
Yes I do...

Madea:
That's how you can tell.

Willy:
[to Ann] I got 27 different people live in my head, and every one of them ready to beat the hell out of you.

Madea:
What is wrong with all these black celebrities these days? Diana Ross allegedly drinking and driving. Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson says he's Peter Pan.

Cora:
That's what he said.

Madea:
This is what his kids look like. [covers her face with a cloth napkin and kicks]

Leroy Brown:
[about his wife] I had her creature-mated.

Ann:
You need a deposit like a credit card or cash...

Leroy Brown:
Oh yeah, I know all about that dep-o-sit. [takes out a bag of coins and drops it on the counter]

Woman at Hotel:
You probably go around writing bad checks everywhere? Do you hear me, you little bad lady?

Madea:
[shoots round from pistol] Nah, do you hear me? Do you hear me?

Willy:
[imitating Maya Angelou] Like the blood pressure on a black woman, eating pork all her life, still I rise. I am the hope of the slave and I don't work for free. Somebody better find my check. Or a phenomenal woman will get beat phenomenally.

Ann:
I'll have the corporate office mail you your check.

Willy:
I didn't mail my work up in here. You ain't finna mail me no check.

Willy:
[to Cora about Ann] You're gonna get us in trouble with her.

Leroy Brown:
I know that's right, I asked if they had a place I could shout, she said 'we don't do that here', I think she a alias.

Willy:
What's an alias?

Leroy Brown:
An alias is a person that don't believe in God, why're [you] acting dumb like brrrrrrduh?

Horace:
My wife's really sick, her nurse may be bringing her here in a wheelchair.

Ann:
I don't care if she's in a wheelbarrow.

Willy:
You going to hell.

Cora:
You can't do that to her, she's my boss!

Madea:
She can't fire you if she's dead.

Madea:
If you tell a man that you're going to call 911 and he backs off, that's a man who beats up on women cuz he's scared to beat up a man. But if you tell him you're going to call 911 and he says he'll call them for you, run. That's a crazy man who will beat up a woman or a man and you run out of there no matter what you gotta do, even if you're naked you get away from him as fast as you can.

Madea:
Where were you today, Penny? Didn't I tell you to come home from school today? I called Willona and Florida and Thelma and nobody knows where you at, where were you today, Penny? WHERE WERE YOU?

Ann:
I was with J.J.!

Madea:
Why are you using all these big words? The check bounced is that what you trynna say? Well say that say the check bounced.

Ann:
The check bounced.

Madea:
Well bounce it back.

Madea:
Oooh is that a coach? No that's a catch but that's nice!