Brave

[First lines; Queen Elinor and young Merida are playing hide-and-seek]

Queen Elinor:
Where are you? Come out! Come out! Come on out! I'm coming to get you! [young Merida laughs as she hides under the table] Where are you, you little rascal? I'm coming to get you! [Elinor looks under the table but Merida quickly moves to hide somewhere else] Hmm. Where is my little birthday girl, hm? I'm going to gobble her up when I find her! [Merida comes up behind Elinor and goes to run away but Elinor catches her] I'm going to eat you! [as Elinor and young Merida play, Fergus places his bow on the table] Ach! Fergus, no weapons on the table!

Young Merida:
Can I shoot an arrow? [picks up the large bow from the table] Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Please, can I? [falls and laughs as the bow is too big for her]

King Fergus:
Not with that. Why not use your very own? [presents her with a small bow] Happy birthday, my wee darlin'!

Young Merida:
I missed...

Queen Elinor:
Go and fetch it, then. [turns to Fergus after Merida leaves] A bow, Fergus? She's a lady!

Princess Merida:
[narrating] Some say our destiny is tied to the land, as much a part of us as we are of it. Others say fate is woven together like a cloth, so that one's destiny intertwines with many others. It's the one thing we search for, or fight to change. Some never find it. But there are some who are led.

Princess Merida:
[narrating] I became a sister to three new brothers. The princes. Hamish, Hubert, and Harris. Wee devils, more like. They get away with murder! I can never get away with anything!

Princess Merida:
[narrating] But every once in a while, there's a day when I don't have to be a princess. No lessons, no expectations. A day where anything can happen. A day I can change my fate.

King Fergus:
[telling a story] Then out of nowhere, the biggest bear you've ever seen! Its hide littered with the weapons of fallen warriors! Its face scarred with one dead eye. I drew my sword and...

Princess Merida:
[cuts in] WHOOSH! One swipe, his sword shattered. Then CHOMP! Dad's leg was clean off! Down the monster's throat it went!

King Fergus:
Awwwwww... That's my favorite part!

Princess Merida:
Mor'du has never been seen since. And is roaming the wilds, waiting his chance at revenge. [roars]

Queen Elinor:
Merida, a princess does not place her weapons on the table.

Princess Merida:
[moans] Mum! It's just my bow!

Queen Elinor:
A princess should not have weapons, in my opinion.

King Fergus:
Leave her be! Princess or not, learning to fight is essential.

Princess Merida:
[removes her bow from the table] Mum, you'll never guess what I did today!

Queen Elinor:
[not really listening] Mmm-hmm?

Princess Merida:
I climbed up the Crone's Tooth and drank from the Fire Falls.

[Hamish, Hubert and Harris look at her in awe]

King Fergus:
The Fire Falls, eh? They say only the ancient kings were brave enough to drink the fire.

[Merida wrinkles her nose at Fergus and giggles]

Queen Elinor:
[looks up from the documents she's reading; to Merida] What did you do, dear?

Princess Merida:
[disappointed] ...Nothing, Mum.

King Fergus:
Pretend I'm Merida, speak to me. What would you say?

Queen Elinor:
I can't do this!

King Fergus:
Sure you can! [Elinor gives him a skeptical look] There, there! That's my queen! All right, here we go. [takes a deep breath and speaks in a shrilly voice, impersonating Merida] "I don't want to get married! I want to stay single and let my hair flow in the wind as I ride through the glen, firing arrows into the sunset!"

[Fergus smiles and nods. Elinor smiles and takes a deep breath.]

Queen Elinor:
Merida, all this work, all the time spent preparing you, schooling you, giving you everything we never had. I ask you, what do you expect us to do?

Princess Merida:
[in the royal stables; taking care of Angus and rehearsing her own speech] Call off the gathering! Would that kill them? You're the queen. You can just tell the lords, "The princess is not ready for this. In fact, she might not ever be ready for this, so that's that. Good day to you. We'll expect your declarations of war in the morning."

Queen Elinor:
I understand this must all seem unfair. Even I had reservations when I faced betrothal. [Fergus looks up in surprise] But we can't just run away from who we are.

Princess Merida:
I don't want my life to be over. I want my freedom!

Queen Elinor:
But are you willing to pay the price your freedom will cost?

Princess Merida:
I'm not doing any of this to hurt you.

Queen Elinor:
If you could just try to see what I do, I do out of love.

Princess Merida:
But it's my life, it's... I'm just not ready.

Queen Elinor:
I think you'd see, if you could just...

Princess Merida:
I think I could make you understand if you would just...

Queen Elinor:
Listen.

Princess Merida:
Listen. [Angus whinnies at her] I swear, Angus, this isn't going to happen. [Angus touches her sympathetically and she pets him] Not if I have any say in it.

[Somebody just called Lord Dingwall a liar]

Lard Dingwall:
I heard that! Come on! Say it to my face! Or are you scared simperin' jackanapes, 'fraid to muss your pretty hair?!

Lord Macintosh:
At least we have hair!

Lord MacGuffin:
And all of our teeth!

Young MacGuffin:
[In a thick accent] If he was a wee bit closer, I could lob a caber at him, ye ken?

Lord Macintosh:
[confused at first, then regains composure] And we don't hide under bridges, you grumpy old troll!

[The Macintoshes, Macguffins and Fergus chortle]

Lord Dingwall:
You wanna laugh, eh? [turns to son] WEE DINGWALL!

[Wee Dingwall attacks Lord Macintosh, starting a brawl]

Princess Merida:
[after Young MacGuffin shoots and misses] I bet he wishes he was tossing cabers.

King Fergus:
Or holding up bridges...

[Elinor nudges Fergus scoldingly while he and Merida snicker]

[Young Macintosh smashes his bow on the ground after barely missing the bullseye]

Princess Merida:
[sarcastically] Oh, that's attractive.

[Young Macintosh throws his bow over the crowd]

Random Clan Member:
I got it!

Princess Merida:
[to King Fergus] Good arm!

King Fergus:
[brushes back his hair] And such lovely, flowing locks.

Queen Elinor:
[annoyed] Fergus!

King Fergus:
What?

[Young Dingwall wins the archery contest by accident]

King Fergus:
[to Queen Elinor, surprised] Well, that's just grand, isn't it? Guess who's coming to dinner!

Queen Elinor:
[also surprised] Fergus?

King Fergus:
[turns to Merida] Oh, and by the way, I hope you don't mind being called Lady Ding- [sees dog in her seat]

[Just then Merida, wearing a hooded cloak, appears on the field. She throws off her cloak, revealing herself, and the crowd gasps.]

Princess Merida:
I am Merida, firstborn descendant of Clan Dun'Broch! And I'll be shooting for my own hand!

[The lords look confused and look at Fergus and Elinor, hoping for an explanation]

Queen Elinor:
[also confused] What are you doing?

[After Merida's actions at the clan gathering, Elinor drags and throws Merida into the tapestry room]

Queen Elinor:
Michty me! I've just about had enough of you, lass!

Princess Merida:
You're the one that wants me to...!

Queen Elinor:
You embarrassed them! You embarrassed me!

Princess Merida:
I followed the rules!

Queen Elinor:
You don't know what you've done!

Princess Merida:
I just don't care how...

Queen Elinor:
There'll be fire and sword if it's not set right.

Princess Merida:
Just listen!

Queen Elinor:
I AM THE QUEEN! You listen to me!

Princess Merida:
OCH! This is so unfair!

Queen Elinor:
Huh! Unfair?!

Princess Merida:
[grabs a sword and swings it around angrily] You were never there for me! This whole marriage is what you want! Do you ever bother to ask what I want? No! You walk around telling me what to do, what not to do! Trying to make me be like you! Well, I'm not going to be like you!

Queen Elinor:
Och! You're acting like a child!

Princess Merida:
And you're a beast! [points her sword at the family tapestry that Elinor had been working on] That's what you are!

Queen Elinor:
[gasps] Merida!

Princess Merida:
[sticks the tip of her sword into the tapestry] I'll never be like you!

Queen Elinor:
No! Stop that!

Princess Merida:
I'd rather DIE than be like you!

[Suddenly, Merida slashes the tapestry, a line between the images of Elinor and herself. Elinor gasps in shock; Merida just stares at her angrily. Furious at what Merida has just done, Elinor marches up to her, whose angry face now gives a frightened pout]

Queen Elinor:
Merida, you are a princess! [takes the sword from Merida and tosses it aside; grabs Merida's bow] I expect you to act like one! [She throws Merida's bow into the fire. Shocked at her mother, Merida runs out of the room in tears] Merida! Merida! [immediately realizes what she's done and pulls the bow out of the fire; however, it is already ruined] Oh, no! What have I done? [weeps]

[Merida discovers that the woodcarver is a witch]

Princess Merida:
[excitedly] You're a WITCH!

The Witch:
[still trying to hide her identity] Woodcarver.

Princess Merida:
That's why the wisps led me here!

The Witch:
[getting angry] Woodcarver!

Princess Merida:
[more excited] You'll change my fate!

The Witch:
[more angry] WOODCARVER!!

Princess Merida:
You see... It's my mother--

The Witch:
[snaps] I'M NOT A WITCH! TOO MANY UNSATISFIED CUSTOMERS! [Merida stares at her in fright] [calms down] If you're not going to buy anything... [angry again] get out! [snaps fingers and knives point at Merida]

[The witch turns her carving store into a room with a cauldron and a lot of potions and spells]

The Witch:
You never conjure where you carve; very important.

[The witch picks up the cake from the boiling cauldron]

Princess Merida:
A cake?

The Witch:
Do you not want it?

Princess Merida:
Yes! I want it! Are you sure... if I give this to my Mum, it will change my fate?

The Witch:
Trust me, deary. It will do the trick.

Princess Merida:
[after Queen Elinor unexpectedly turns into a bear] Mum? You're... You're a BEAR! Why a bear? OH! That scaffy witch gave me a gammy spell! [Bear Elinor glares at her, demanding to know what she meant] It's not my fault. I didn't ask her to change you into a bear! I just wanted her to change... [guilty] you.

[A shocked and outraged Bear Elinor roars at Merida loudly]

[Bear Elinor is walking in the halls with a bed sheet around her body and Merida's following her, begging her to stop]

Princess Merida:
Stop! STOP!! [She takes the sheet away from Bear Elinor and she gasps in horror, covering her body with her paws] You're COVERED with FUR! You're not naked. It's not like anybody's gonna see you! [They suddenly realize that Maudie the maid is looking at them in horror. Bear Elinor sheepishly waves at Maudie and she screams and runs away] Now you've done it.

[Maudie runs into Fergus and the others]

King Fergus:
Maudie! [Maudie stutters] Calm down, lass. What is it? [Maudie still stutters] [impatiently] Spit it out, Maudie!

Maudie:
BEEEEAR!!!

King Fergus:
I KNEW IT!!!! HYAAAAAH!!!!

[He and the other men charge to where Maudie came from]

[Fergus, the lords, their sons, and the rest of the men are being distracted by the triplets, thinking there's a bear in the castle]

Lord MacGuffin:
I think we should lay a trap.

King Fergus:
[angrily] TRY SHUTTING YOURS! [They then hear a growl and see a shadow of a bear] There he is!

[They chase it up the castle roof and realize it is gone]

Lord Dingwall:
It must've sprouted wings.

Lord MacGuffin:
Or was carried away by a giant birdy.

Lord Dingwall:
A dragon, perhaps.

Lord Macintosh:
[mockingly] "Bear in the castle!" [normal] Doesn't make sense. It cannot open doors. He's got big, giant paws!

King Fergus:
[groans] Let's just get inside. [tries to open the door, but can't] It's locked!

Lord MacGuffin:
[points to Dingwall] Dingwall was the last up!

Lord Dingwall:
I propped it open with a stick!

[The men groan, and from the other side of the door, it is revealed that two of the triplets took the stick and chucked it away]

The Witch:
[repeated lines] Fate be changed, look inside. Mend the bond torn by pride.

Princess Merida:
[looks at the black berries; to Bear Elinor] Find those by the creek, did you? [Bear Elinor nods and keeps eating the berries] They're nightshade berries. [Bear Elinor eats another one] They're poisonous. [Bear Elinor spits out the berries and tries to chug down some water] Where did you get this water? It has worms!

[Bear Elinor spits out the water]

Merida:
Legends are lessons. They ring with truths. Our kingdom is young; our stories are not yet legends, but in them, our bond was struck. Our clans were once enemies. But when we were threatened from the north, you joined together to defend our lands. You fought for each other. You risked everything for each other.

[Merida - assisted by Bear Elinor - asks the lords' sons to write their own stories, follow their hearts, and find love in their own time]

Lord Macintosh:
Well, since you've obviously made up your minds about this, I have one thing to say: This is--

Young Macintosh:
[interrupting in a gleeful tone] A GRAND IDEA! [to his father] Give us own say in choosing our fate.

Lord Macintosh:
[stunned with outrage] WHAT?!

Wee Dingwall:
Aye. Why shouldn't we choose?

Lord Dingwall:
[also stunned] But she's the princess!

Wee Dingwall:
I didnae pick her out. It was your idea.

Lord MacGuffin:
[to his son] And you? You... feel the same way?

Young MacGuffin:
[in a thick accent] It's just not fair making us fight for the hand of a quine who does not want any bit of it, ken?

[The Dingwalls and Macintoshes stare at each other confused; Merida giggles]

Princess Merida:
[closing narration] There are those who say fate is something beyond our command. That destiny is not our own, but I know better. Our fate lives within us, you only have to be brave enough to see it.

[Queen Elinor feels sick after eating a cursed cake.]

Merida:
Just take all the time you need to get yourself right, mom. And maybe in a bit you might have something new to say on the marriage?

Elinor:
[groaning] What was in that cake?

Merida:
Cake!?

[suddenly Elinor rolls of the bed in pain]

Merida:
Mum? So, I… I’ll just tell them the wedding’s off then. [hears a growling noise from where Elinor rolled of down the bed] Mum? [walks round to see if Elinor is fine, she sees a giant shape under the blanket. It rises from the floor and the blanket falls off, revealing Elinor has transformed into a bear making Merida scream with terror] BEAR!!!

Merida:
Mum, wait. We have to...

Fergus:
Follow me.

Merida:
Stop! STOP! YOU’RE COVERED WITH FUR?! You’re not naked. It’s like anyone gonna see you. Now you done it.

[Maudie runs into Fergus and the others]

Fergus:
Maudie! [Maudie stutters] Calm down, lass. What is it? [Maudie still stutters] [impatiently] Spit it out, Maudie!

Maudie:
BEEEEAR!!!

Fergus:
I KNEW IT!! HYAAAAAH!! [he and the other men charge to where Maudie came from]

Merida:
Would you just listen me.

Merida:
[looks up and sees Elinor has changed back into a human] Mum, you're back! You changed!

Elinor:
[warmly] Oh, darling. We both have.

Young Merida:
AHH!?

Fergus:
Mor'du?! Elinor, run!

Elinor:
(gasps) Merida?!

Merida:
I'll never be like you!

Elinor:
No! Nononononono! Stop that!?

Merida:
I rather DIE be like you.

Elinor:
[gasps] Merida you are a princess.

[Merida and Bear Elinor reach the witch's cottage]

Merida:
I can't believe it. I found it. [excitedly opens the door, only to find the cottage completely empty with only the cauldron still in the middle; confused] No. She was here. [closes the door; to Bear Elinor] No, really, she was just here. [Bear Elinor whines] Oh, wait. [snaps her fingers then opens the door again, but finds it the same as before] No. [bangs the door shut. Tries again several times, but to no avail] No, no. No! No! [steps in the door and accidentally trips a wire, starting a Rube Goldberg machine that eventually shoots a knife, nearly killing Merida. The cauldron begins to bubble and glow green. Merida and Bear Elinor walk over. A ghostly image of the witch appears above the cauldron]

Witch:
Welcome to the Crafty Carver, home of bear-themed carvings and novelties. I am completely out of stock at this time. But, if you'd like to inquire about portraits or wedding cake toppers, pour vial one into the cauldron. If you'd like the menu in Gaelic, vial two. If you're that red-haired lass, vial three. To speak with a live homunculus-- [Merida quickly grabs the third vial, pops it open and pours its contents into the cauldron] Princess! I'm off to the Wickerman Festival in Stornoway and won't be back till spring. There's one bit I forgot to tell you about the spell. By the second sunrise, your spell will become permanent, [Merida gasps] unless you remember these words: [turns red] "Fate be changed, look inside, mend the bond torn by pride." [turns back to green]

Merida:
[confused] "Fate be changed?" "Mend the bond?" What does that mean?

Witch:
One more time. [turns red again] "Fate be changed, look inside, mend the bond torn by pride." [turns back to green again; cheerfully] That's it! Tah-tah! Oh, and thank you for shopping at the Crafty Carver! [disappears]

Merida:
[panicking] No. No! Where'd you go? [pours another vial into the cauldron]

Witch:
[suddenly reappears] Welcome to the Crafty Carver...

Merida:
[horrified] What?

Witch:
...for all your-- [Merida pours in another vial, causing the speech to overlap]

Merida:
Maybe there's a book of spells. [to Bear Elinor] Look around. We'll need more vials. [proceeds to frantically dump in the last two vials]

Witch:
I'm off to the Wickerman Festival in Stornoway, and-- [all of the messages begin talking over one another. Merida and Bear Elinor brace for impact] Thank you for visiting. Have a lovely day! [the cauldron explodes, tearing apart the cottage]

Merida:
[plays the harp and singing]

Fergus:
Merida, what are you playing the harp doing?! Give it to me!

Princess Merida:
[after realizing Bear Elinor isn't changing back into a human] No... No... I don't understand. [crying] Oh, Mum... I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I did this to you... to us. [hugs Bear Elinor] You've always been there for me. You've never given up on me. I just want you back. I want you back, Mummy. [murmurs] I love you.

Princess Merida:
I'll never be like you.