Marvel Heroes

Deadpool:
You know this stuff just kills in Poughkeepsie!

Deadpool:
[to Scarlet Witch] More like the Scarlett Bi... Hey, hey, hey, I didn't see you there.

Spider-Man:
[to Bullseye] What you expect? You named yourself after a target. Duh!

Deadpool:
Wow, I can't believe you guys got Jean-Luc Picard to be in your game.

Deadpool:
So three mutants walk into a bar, right?

Deadpool:
[after seeing M.O.D.O.K] Did you see the size of that dude's head? Ha ha ha ha!

Deadpool:
Do I get a badge for this?

Deadpool:
No XP? What a ripoff!

Deadpool:
[to The Hulk] So greenie, can I get your cousin's number?

Deadpool:
[to Human Torch] You know I can flame on if I just had some lighter fluid.

Deadpool:
You want blend or puree?

Deadpool:
[to Captain America] You're as American as Mom's apple pie and hand guns.

Gambit:
[to Captain America] I wonder what would happen if I threw that shield?

Deadpool:
Pull my finger. No, not off!

Deadpool:
[to Shocker] Shocker? I didn't even know her. Ha!

Deadpool:
I'd sing some Black Sabbath right now, but the bean counter says we spent all our money on writers. What a waste.

Deadpool:
Explosions attract the coveted 18 to 24 year old male demographic.

Deadpool:
[regarding Hawkeye] Oh, oh, so they're letting Robin Hood in, but somehow the Avengers keep losing my phone number. What's up with that?

Deadpool:
[to Ms. Marvel] Careful, Marvel Comics will sue you for trademark infringement.

Deadpool:
[to Wolverine] Hey, Wolvie, any chance I can provoke you into some pointless bloodshed?

Deadpool:
[finds an item & groans] You don't wanna know where I'm keeping this!

Daredevil:
Oh, look. It's an Avenger. We're saved.

Daredevil:
Stop talking, Deadpool! Just... stop!

Deadpool:
[to Ghost Rider] Oh man, I forgot to bring the marshmallows.

Human Torch:
[to Ghost Rider] Geez, you look like a heavy metal version of me.

Ghost Rider:
[to Deadpool] Your time will come, assassin!

Daredevil:
How about that chin music?

Captain America:
[to Human Torch] You remind me of an old friend of mine. He was a bit of a hothead, too.

Deadpool:
[to Gambit] You know, maybe I need an accent too. 'Allo, mon ami.

Wolverine:
Before you say anything, Deadpool... Shut up!

Cyclops:
Spider-Man, can I just say I'm glad you're not a mutant?

Deadpool:
You have died of dysentery.

Deadpool:
[to Nightcrawler] Phew! Smells like somebody just teleported a bean burrito.

Deadpool:
[to Bullseye] Wanna use me for a dartboard?

Moon Knight:
[to Iron Man] Let's have our butlers battle. Samuels!

Punisher:
Don't make me shoot you, Deadpool.

Hawkeye:
Bullseye, that costume just makes this too easy.

Agent Lee:
[to Deadpool] Even I don't talk as much as you do.

Deadpool:
[to Punisher] You're just me without the funny, and the lithium.

Hawkeye:
Give it a rest, Deadpool, or your mouth gets to meet my fist.

Deadpool:
My cuisine reigns supreme.

Taskmaster:
[to M.O.D.O.K] Mental Organism Designed Only to get his Keister handed to him.

Hulk:
[to Venom] I prefer to smash Spider-Man, but you'll do.

Captain America:
[to Deadpool] You're just a walking Section 8, aren't you?

Daredevil:
[to Thing] You want me to patrol Yancy Street, Ben? Even I'm not that fearless.

Black Widow:
No, Spider-Man. I do not want to be your amazing friend.

Black Widow:
[to Doctor Octopus] You of all people should fear spiders.

Thing:
[to Captain America] Just so we're clear, I don't got to salute every time I see you, right?

Spider-Man:
Why don't you "stick around"?

Moon Knight:
[to Spider-Man] They call you a menace. I like that about you.

Gambit:
Did I just blow your mind?

Thing:
[to The Hulk] You're on thin ice, purple pants.

Deadpool:
[to Black Panther] Oh, yeah? Well, I'm the King of Deadpoolvania.

Ghost Rider:
Keep fighting, it's funny.

Star-Lord:
[to Human Torch] Be on fire all you want. Just no smoking on my ship, okay?

Deadpool:
[to Doctor Strange] What, no top hat? What kind of magician are you?

A.I.M. Technician:
I should've stayed at Google.

Star-Lord:
Combustibles are so outdated, Torch. Tell me when you're the human warp-drive.

Star-Lord:
[to Human Torch] You know this gun shoots water, too, right?

Star-Lord:
[to Captain America] I've seen a shield that like before. Do you know Major Victory?

Star-Lord:
And that's the "element" of surprise.

Star-Lord:
I love the sound of a villain hitting the ground.

Star-Lord:
[to Gambit] Use those cards in one of my bars, and the guys will rip off your arms.

Star-Lord:
Hey, man. Better me than Drax, right? He would exsanguinate you.

Star-Lord:
[to Moon Night] You know what's on the moon? Inhumans. And you don't want to emulate them.

Luke Cage:
[to Iron Man] Tony, five minutes in my neighborhood and your armor would be on blocks and stripped down for parts.

Luke Cage:
[to Cyclops] Hey, Cyke, you got a lot of brass for a skinny kid wearing glasses.

Luke Cage:
[summoning Iron Fist] Quit your meditating and let's go bust some heads!

Spider-Man:
[to Cyclops] You know, Cyke, you wouldn't have so many dental problems if you didn't grind your teeth so much.

Wolverine:
I guess there is somethin' that can stop the Juggernaut, eh? Me!

Juggernaut:
Don't you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, wimp!

Deadpool:
[upon defeating a HYDRA agent] Hey, do you know my friend Bob?

Juggernaut:
Silly HYDRA, your weapons cannot harm me!

Iron Man:
[to Venom] Go ahead. Try to eat my armor. I dare you.

Venom:
[to Green Goblin] We'll prove that we are Spider-Man's greatest foe.

Venom:
[to Storm] We can control lightning, rain, and suffering.

Venom:
[to Nightcrawler] Together, we'd be the stuff of nightmares.

Venom:
[to Black Widow] Would you like some real power, Widow?

Spider-Man:
[to Scarlet Witch] Your hexes, my Spidey-sense, Las Vegas. Whaddaya say?

Juggernaut:
Stand still so I can smash you into goo, Venom!

Star-Lord:
[to Spider-Man] I thought I was the only smart-mouthed Peter around here.

Juggernaut:
[to Hulk] As I recall, last time, I smashed *you*, purple pants!

Star-Lord:
[to Venom] I've got my eye and my gun on you, symbiote.

Venom:
[to Lady Deathstrike] You have big nails, WE have big teeth!

Spider-Man:
[to Gambit] Sorry. My aunt told never to gamble with strange mutants with accents.

Juggernaut:
[to Venom] Slobber on me one more time and I'll throw you into space.

Ms. Marvel:
So, this is what winning feels like?

Iron Man:
Shawarma time!

Beta Ray Bill:
Legends of your lunacy proceed you, Deadpool.

Agent Lee:
This is my cameo?

Rocket Raccoon:
[to Thing] I'm Rocky, you're rocky, we get it.

Rocket Raccoon:
[to Captain America] Can you fly with those head wings?

Deadpool:
[to Doctor Doom] Which college offers a doctorate in Doom sizes?

Agent Venom:
I thought Jack O'Lantern was the most annoying ever. Until I ran into Deadpool.

Deadpool:
[to War Machine] Hey, what happened Iron Man? You run out of paint or something?

Deadpool:
Where do these bullets keep coming from?