The Game Plan

Joe Kingman:
Never say no.

Joe Kingman:
You don't get abs like these eating peanut butter patties.

Joe Kingman:
(Speaking with a very evident lisp)What did you put in those cookies?

Peyton Kelly:
Um, milk, flour, eggs, cinnamon.

Joe Kingman:
Cinnamon? I'm allergic to cinnamon!

Peyton Kelly:
I'm sorry.

Joe Kingman:
You're sowry? I'm talking like this and all you can say is you're sowry?

Peyton Kelly:
I'm allergic to nuts.

[repeated lines]

Peyton Kelly:
Stupid is a mean word.

Kyle Cooper:
No it isn't.

Peyton Kelly:
Yes it is.

Kyle Cooper:
No it isn't.

Peyton Kelly:
Yes it is.

Joe Kingman:
I'm not giving you 28 grams of empty carbohydrates. We do not do simple sugars in this house.

Peyton Kelly:
But I'm a kid and kids love sugar. I mean, the simpler, the better.

Joe Kingman:
Well, my dad never let me have sugar.

Peyton Kelly:
Aww. Is that why you never smile?

Travis Sanders:
Is Spike wearing a tutu?

Joe Kingman:
You get into people's minds, JUST LIKE HER!

Peyton Kelly:
Well, at least I have a mind, otherwise I'd be JUST LIKE YOU!

Joe Kingman:
I thought you were dead.

Karen Kelly:
I can assure you I am not dead.

Joe Kingman:
I have an answer for your question Peyton. Win or lose today, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Joe:
I'm going to take my daughter home.

Peyton:
Daddy you won the championship!

Joe Kingman:
Aw, Peyton. I won much more than that.

Joe Kingman had the perfect game plan to win the championship... but first, he has to tackle one little problem.

Joe:
Well, who are you here with?

Peyton:
My father.

Joe:
Well, you better go get him, because I'm sure he's looking for you.

Peyton:
He's not looking for me.

Joe:
How do you know?

Peyton:
Because he's looking at me.

Joe:
What?

Peyton:
Hi, we've never met before, you were married to my mom, Sara. Sara Kelly. My name is Peyton. I'm your daughter.

Joe:
You need to be a mom to do this stuff.

Monique:
I don't know about that. True, mothers are smarter, kinder, and better at just about everything...

Peyton:
Stupid is a mean word.

Kyle:
No it isn't.

Peyton:
Yes it is.

Kyle:
No it isn't.

Peyton:
Yes it is.

[while having lunch at the Barking Crab]

Monique:
[examines Peyton as she coughs] OK, she's sweating like crazy, she's coughing, and her lips are swelling.

Joe:
Oh, come on. Don't fall for that. She's a little world-class performer.

Monique:
I don't think she's acting right now, OK? Give me 1 second. [to Peyton] Are you allergic to something?

Peyton:
Nuts.

Monique:
[to Joe, showing him Peyton's dessert] Did you know that?

Joe:
(Did I know what?)

Monique:
The dessert has nuts. Take her to the hospital, come on.

[Joe looks shocked as he lifts Peyton to his shoulder, carrying her]

Joe:
Hospital. Where's the nearest hospital?

Monique:
Ninth and Woodrow. I'll get the car. [Joe runs off] Hey, where are you going? What are you doing?

Joe:
[pushing bystanders out of his way] Move! Move! Move! Move!

Man:
[offscreen] Excuse me, sir.

[Joe runs across a bridge, through a traffic jam, then reaches the hospital with Peyton]

Joe:
Help, help! My daughter needs help! Help!

Emergency Room Doctor:
[approaching Joe, followed by his friends] What do we got here?

Joe:
Help. She's allergic. She can't breathe. She's allergic to nuts.

[one of the doctors takes Peyton and sets her on a wheeled hospital bed]

Emergency Room Doctor:
Looks like an anaphylactic reaction. Set her down.

Joe:
She can't breathe.

Emergency Room Doctor:
Baby. Baby, open up your mouth. [uses a flashlight to look inside Peyton's mouth] Airway's almost close. Let's move her. 10 liters non-rebreather mask.

[as the other doctors wheel Peyton away, one of them named Dr. Converse holds Joe back]

Joe:
Peyton. Peyton. Peyton.

Other Doctors:
[offscreen; barking orders]

Peyton:
[offscreen; gasping]

Dr. Converse:
I'll show you to the family waiting room. It's going to be fine. They're going to take care of her. She'll be OK.

[Joe, Monique, Webber and other adults sit in the family waiting room]

Dr. Converse:
[entering with a clipboard] Peyton Kelly's father?

[the adults stand up]

Joe:
[approaching Dr. Converse] I'm Peyton's dad.

Dr. Converse:
Your daughter's responding well to the treatment. We're going to keep her overnight just to be sure, but she's going to be fine.

Joe:
[sighing with relieved smile] Thank you so much. Thank you.

Dr. Converse:
You were really, really lucky this time.

Webber:
She's going to be alright.

Joe:
Yeah.

Webber:
OK.

[suddenly, a woman's voice is heard]

Woman:
Please tell me Peyton's alright.

Joe:
She's going to be… (Huh?)

[it's Sara's sister, Joe's ex-sister-in-law and Peyton's aunt/legal guardian, Karen]

Monique:
She's going to be fine. The doctor says that she's going to be fine.

Karen:
(Oh, right.) You're lucky I haven't called the police.

Joe:
Karen?

Karen:
I got home early, and I see you and Peyton. Your faces are plastered on the front of every magazine. I called Peyton 100 times yesterday, but she didn't answer. I flew out here, got off the plane, and I see all of this on the news.

Joe:
Karen?

Karen:
Is that all you can say for yourself is "Karen"?

Joe:
I thought you were dead.

Karen:
I can assure you, I'm not dead. How did you find her?

Joe:
I didn't, she found me. Wait a minute, is Sara still in Africa?

[beat]

Karen:
She didn't tell you, did she?

[short pause]

Karen:
Joe, Sara died in a car accident 6 months ago.

[beat]

Joe:
Oh, Peyton.