One More Train to Rob

[first lines]

[Harker awakens Katie with a kiss]

Harker Fleet:
Time, honey.

Katy:
So soon?

Harker Fleet:
Train's due at 3:10.

Katy:
You're up and dressed. I didn't even hear you.

[sniffing]

Katy:
You're not only up and dressed, you've been out... and from the smell of that perfume, I know where!

Harker Fleet:
Now, Katy...

[Harker dodges a water pitcher Katy throws at him]

Harker Fleet:
Now, you know that by sun-up, every sheriff within a hundred miles...

[he dodges a thrown bowl]

Harker Fleet:
... is going to be coming this way and I had to set up an alibi.

Katy:
Does it always have to be in a cathouse?

[during a train hold-up]

Conductor:
Mister, the westbound Express is right behind us. You're greenlighting it to highball right into us!

Harker Fleet:
Guess we'd better hurry.

Harker Fleet:
You know the difference between you and me? You'd never admit you're a thief. I mean, you want to be an honest man... you just can't get the hang of it. Me? I'm a thief, and I can't think of a more enjoyable way to make a living.

Timothy X. Nolan:
The bank in San Francisco won't extend me note. I owe them a hundred thousand dollars and with me holdings worth five times that, they're waiting like vultures to swoop down and foreclose.

Harker Fleet:
Tim, how many times have I tried to tell you that banks are not to business with, they're to rob.

Timothy X. Nolan:
You let the old Chinaman slip away. He was my ace in the hole!

Harker Fleet:
He wasn't worth two deuces in the barn.

Timothy X. Nolan:
Hark, you bloody idiot, the gold is getting away! It's lost to both of us!

Harker Fleet:
Yeah, well, I don't feel so bad. I got myself invited to a Chinese wedding. I'll give away the bride!

Timothy X. Nolan:
You mean you gave away the gold?

Harker Fleet:
You can't stand it, can you?

[to himself]

Harker Fleet:
And neither can I.

[last lines]

Timothy X. Nolan:
You're a rancher now. Who knows, in a month, six months, you might come to like it. The favor I owed you, Katy... I've hobbled and saddled him for ya. His wild stallion days are over.

[Tim dies]

Katy:
Get the carriage. We'll take him home.

Harker Fleet:
That untrustworthy son of a b*tch. He's done it to me again.