Lucky Number Slevin

The Boss:
Look at me. Look at my smile. Your son is dead.

The Boss:
Are you familiar with the shmoo, Mr. Fisher?

The Boss:
I bet it was that mouth that got you that nose.

The Boss:
Y-you? Nahh... You're dead. You're DEAD!

The Boss:
[After he and Slevin approach a large freezer and look inside] Hey Slim, you know this cat? Slim? I'm sorry, it's no use. [Slim turns out to be a frozen corpse] Ever since somebody shot him ol' Slim's gone deaf.

The Rabbi:
If there's one thing I know, is when someone is lying. A man in my position, that's all he has to go on. To know a lie when he hears it: the difference between life and death... your own... someone else's. That being said, he wasn't lying.

The Rabbi:
The unlucky are nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky, Mister Fisher. You are unlucky, so I may know that I am not. Unfortunately the lucky never realize they are lucky until it's too late. Take yourself for instance; yesterday you were better off than you are today but it took today for you to realize it. But today has arrived, and it's too late... You see? People are never happy with what they have. They want what they had. Or what others have...I'm a bad man who doesn't waste time wondering what could've been when I am what could've been and what could not have been. I live on both sides of the fence, and the grass is always green.

The Rabbi:
Since we're not friends and you hate baseball, then why the f*** are you here?

The Rabbi:
My father used to say: "The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle."

Slevin Kelevra:
[Repeated Line] I'm Slevin.

Slevin Kelevra:
I'm gonna say what any man with two penises would say, when his tailor asks him if he dresses right or left... Yes.

Slevin Kelevra:
[To the Rabbi and the Boss] The two of you killed everything I ever loved. (Pause) F*** you both.

Slevin Kelevra:
Bad dog.

Slevin Kelevra:
You have a deceptively tall knock. Congratulations.

Slevin Kelevra:
Somebody's trying to kill you. Me.

Slevin Kelevra:
I'm just a guy whose dinner's getting cold.

Slevin Kelevra:
I told you before...that's not my name.

Slevin Kelevra:
I did this to you. Me.

Slevin Kelevra:
And that's all there is to it?

Slevin Kelevra:
You can only kill me once.

Mr. Goodkat:
Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in Monte Carlo and came in third. Now that's a story. This... is something else.

Mr. Goodkat:
(Last lines of the movie) My name's Goodkat. You can call me Mr. Goodkat.

Mr. Goodkat:
I'm a world-class assassin, f***head.

Mr. Goodkat:
Sorry about that, son. But sometimes there's more to life than just livin'. Besides, you can't have a Kansas City Shuffle without a body.

Mr. Goodkat:
Don't worry. I'm gonna kill somebody.

Mr. Goodkat:
Because it seems to me that your son is worth more to you alive than he is to the Boss dead. And more money is worth more to me than less money.

Mr. Goodkat:
(After being asked about how his flight was and receiving a pat on the back) It was fine. And I kinda have this thing about people touching me.

Mr. Goodkat:
(First line in the movie) There was a time...

Lindsey:
I was thinking that if you're still alive when I get back from work tonight... maybe we could go out to dinner or something?

Lindsey:
A mobster with a gay son. How ironic.

Lindsey:
I'm short for my height.

Lindsey:
Thanks for the sugar, sugar.

The Boss:
They call him "the Fairy"...

Slevin:
Why do they call him "the Fairy"?

The Boss:
[impatiently] Because he's a fairy.

Slevin:
What, he's got wings, he can fly, he sprinkles magic dust all over the place?

The Boss:
[angrily] He's a homosexual.

Sloe:
The guy we lookin' for. His name is uh, his name is-

Elvis:
His name is Nick, man.

Sloe:
Nick, yeah. The cat's name is Nick. Now who, who are you?

Slevin:
I'm Slevin.(Sloe mutters the name confused for a minute)

Sloe:
You got some ID?(Short pause)

Slevin:
You see the funny thing about that is I got mugged this morning-

Sloe:
Hey! Tell it to the one-legged man, so he can bump it off down the road.

Slevin:
Who are you?

The Boss:
I'm The Boss.

Slevin:
I thought he was The Boss.

The Boss:
Why? Do we look alike?

Various Characters:
Why do they call him The Rabbi?

Various Characters:
Because he's a rabbi.

Slevin's Girlfriend:
[after Slevin walks in on her cheating on him] This is an accident.

Slevin:
What, like... He tripped, you fell?

Lindsey:
How ironic.

Slevin:
I know, I don't even gamble.

Lindsey:
No. A mobster with a gay son. Now that's ironic.

Sloe:
The Boss wants to see you.

Slevin:
Who?

Sloe:
The Boss.

Slevin:
Who's the Boss?

Sloe:
The guy we work for. Sit

Slevin:
Look. I'm not the guy you're looking for. I don't live here.

Sloe:
Yeah well you look like the guy who lives here.

Slevin:
Man, you don't know what the guy who lives here looks like.

Elvis:
What he means to say is that you look like you live here.

Sloe:
Yeah, that's what I mean to say.

The Boss:
[Showing a picture] This was my son. Notice how I said was? That's because he's dead. Relegated to the past tense. Went from an is to a was before he had his breakfast.

Slevin:
Bummer.

Slevin:
I have ataraxia.

Lindsey:
Ataraxia?

Slevin:
It's a condition characterized by freedom from worry or any other pre-occupation really.

Smith:
There was a time.

Nick:
[wakes up, sees a man in a wheelchair is addressing him, and checks his watch] 4:35.

Smith:
You misunderstood. I wasn't asking for the time, I was just saying "there was a time."

Nick:
There was a time?

Smith:
Mm-hmm. Take Brown Sugar back there, for example. [indicates elderly woman] She's pretty f***ing foxy, right?

Nick:
[pause] She's seventy.

Smith:
If she's a day. But there was a time.

The Boss:
[after Slevin has just told him he'll take the job killing the Rabbi's son] I knew you had sense.

Slevin:
Sense is something you have when you have a choice.

The Boss:
Sometimes, and sometimes it's when you know you don't.

Nick:
F***. Sh*t. Jesus.

Mr. Goodkat:
'F***, Sh*t, Jesus' is right

The Rabbi:
You must be Mr. Fisher.

Slevin:
Must I be? Because it hasn't been working out for me lately.

The Rabbi:
But I'm afraid you must.

Slevin:
Well, if I must.

The Rabbi:
Do you know why you've been brought here, Mr. Fisher?

Slevin:
For starters, I'm unlucky.

The Rabbi:
The unlucky are nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky, Mr. Fisher. You are unlucky so that I may know that I am not. Unfortunately, the lucky never realize they are lucky until it's too late. Consider yourself for instance; yesterday you were better off than you were today, but it took today for you to realize it. But, today has arrived, and it's too late, you see? People are never happy with what they have. They always want what they had...what someone else has...

Slevin:
Kind of like a rabbi who'd rather be a gangster or a gangster who'd rather be a rabbi? I mean, what is that, some kind of 'grass is greener on the other side of the fence'...thing? I mean, how do you justify being a rabbi and a gangster?

The Rabbi:
[pauses, slides tea tray aside] I don't. I am a bad man who doesn't waste time wondering what could have been when I am what could have been and could not have been. I live on both sides of the fence; the grass is always green. Consider, Mr. Fisher, there are two men sitting before you; and one of them you should be very afraid of. Where is my money?

Brikowski:
Who are you?

Slevin:
Philosophically speaking?

Brikowski:
Name.

Slevin:
Rank, serial number?

Dumbrowski:
You should really play ball kid.

Slevin:
Really? You think I'm tall enough?

[Punches Slevin in the stomach]

Brikowski:
What is your name?

Slevin:
[gasping for breath] Oh yeah, now I remember, Slevin Kelevra.

Elvis:
Wait, wait, wait. Look Nick, Slevin, Clark Kent, whatever the f*** your name is. The Virgin Mary herself could come waltzin' in here right now with her fine ass titties hangin' out and everything and if she told me your name was Jesus Christ, I still got to take you to see the Boss. You know why?

Slevin:
No.

Elvis:
Orders. And you do know what orders is right?

Slevin:
I think I understand the concept of-

Elvis:
Orders is "Orders" (but is said in an Ebonics for to really say all there is "Or-der-is".

Slevin:
I guess no one ever taught you not to use the word you're defining in the definition.

[Elvis punches him]

Elvis:
Say somethin' else. I will break your motherf***ing nose. I ain't playin' with you.

Slevin:
My nose is already broken.

[flash cut to Slevin in a car with a freshly bloodied nose]

Slevin:
How did you find out about us?

Mr. Goodkat:
I'm a world-class assassin, f***head. How do you think I found out?

Slevin:
I'm not gay.

Brikowski:
I'm a cop.

Slevin:
Well, I'm not a robber, if you catch my drift.

Slevin:
Someone's trying to kill you.

Yitzchok:
Who?

Slevin:
Me.

The Rabbi:
There are three things one may not do to save a life including his own. He may not: idol-worship, commit adultery, or perform an act of premeditated murder. Killing you before you killed me would be...

Slevin:
Kosher?

The Rabbi:
[scathing noise] Acceptable.

Slevin:
Anything else you want to tell me?

The Boss:
I suppose I don't need to say anything as trite and cliche as "go to the police and you're a dead man".

Slevin:
I think you just did.

The Boss:
I guess I did.

The Rabbi:
[whispering to Slevin] Whatever they're paying you...

[smiles slyly]

Slevin:
[chuckles slightly] There is no "they..." I did this to you. Me.

The Rabbi:
You?

Slevin:
Me.

The Boss:
Who are you?

Slevin:
Listen, I've been hearing that a lot lately--

The Rabbi:
[interrupting] My father used to say: "The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle."

Mugger:
Hey, you got the time?

Slevin:
Yeah man, it's about 3:20.

Mugger:
Yo, you got a smoke?

Slevin:
No sorry, I don't smoke.

Mugger:
Well then why don't you just give me your wallet, and I'll buy my own smokes.

Slevin:
Am I being mugged?

[He is punched in the nose]

Mr. Goodkat:
The reason I'm in town, in case you're wondering, is because of the Kansas City Shuffle.

Nick:
What's a Kansas City Shuffle?

Mr. Goodkat:
A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

Nick:
Never heard of it.

Mr. Goodkat:
It's not something people hear about. Falls on deaf ears mostly. This particular one has been over twenty years in the making. No small matter. Requires a lot of planning. Involves a lot of people. People connected by the slightest of events. Like whispers in the night, in that place that never forgets, even when those people do. It starts with a horse.

Slevin:
This isn't the first time this has happened, you know.

Lindsey:
You mean this isn't the first time a crime lord asked you to kill the gay son of a rival gangster to pay off a debt that belongs to a friend whose place you're staying in as a result of losing your job, your apartment, and finding your girlfriend in bed with another guy?

Slevin:
No, this is the first time THAT happened, but Nick has been painting me into corners since we were kids.

Lindsey:
What happened to your nose?

Slevin:
I was using it to break some guy's fist.

The Boss:
You? You're the triggerman.

Slevin:
Me?

The Boss:
You.

Slevin:
Aren't there professionals? People you can hire to do this sort of thing?

The Boss:
[Laughing] Of course there are. Yes. But you owe me 96,000 dollars. Why should I go out and pay someone else when I've already paid you?

Slevin:
Ok, I'm under the impression that you're under the impression that I owe you 96,000 dollars.

The Boss:
No, you owe Slim Hopkins 96,000 dollars. You owe Slim, Slim owes me... You owe me.