Rudolph's Shiny New Year

Rudolph:
I wish he would have come to me first. I know just how he felt. I bet they called him names and wouldn't let him play in any New Year games.

One Million:
Hey, why for both edges of your mouth go down, not up?

Rudolph:
I'm looking for Happy, the baby New Year. What if I don't find him in time?

One Million:
"Don't"? Stop with the don't thoughts. Start with the do thoughts.

Rudolph:
Happy is the new New Year baby. He's missing. I thought he might be here.

One Million:
A little baby? Oh, yeah. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Rudolph:
He's here?

One Million:
No.

Rudolph:
Oh.

One Million:
But he was.

Sir Ten-To-Three:
Thou looketh for the wee babe Happy?

Rudolph:
Yes, Sir Ten-To-Three. We thought he might have come here. Is he?

Sir Ten-To-Three:
Aye.

One Million:
Where?

Sir Ten-To-Three:
Haven't the foggiest notion in me noggin. But comest with me, comest! We seeketh

One Million:
Comest with me, we seeketh. Clang, clang, clang.

Sir Ten-To-Three:
Oddsbodkins! Methinks that sounds like...

One Million:
Me thinks, too. Sounds like, looks like, smells like... It is!

Santa Claus:
Rudolph, once again the happiness of all the children of the world depends on you. You must find the baby New Year, and you have less than a week to do it.

Rudolph:
You mean?

Santa Claus:
Rudolph, with your nose so bright, you've six days to set things right.

Rudolph:
I'll do my best, Santa.

Father Time:
Oh, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Running a little fast, as it were.

Big Ben:
Don't you fret about that overgrown chicken.

Eon:
[to Happy] You will never be found here, and I will live forever! Hooray!

Quarter Past Five:
[about Eon] It's not us he's after.

Rudolph:
Then who?

General Ticker:
I do fear, the New Year. Don't you agree?

Quarter Past Five:
Oh, indeed I do. You see, Eon can only live until he is one eon old. Then he turns into ice and snow.

Rudolph:
How long is an eon?

Quarter Past Five:
Oh, inmeasurably long, but his eon is up this December 31st.

Rudolph:
That's why he wants to find Happy. If December 31st goes on forever, so will he.

Quarter Past Five:
Oh, he'll never turn to snow. He'll never stop scaring people.

Rudolph:
Not if we find Happy first.

[first lines]

Father Time:
[singing to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer] You know Rudolph who guided and pulled Santa's sleigh / and who saved Christmas by lighting the way. But there's more to tell / Rudolph saved the New Year as well.

[shifting to spoken dialog]

Father Time:
And it all began that same foggy night.

Quarter Past Five:
I am the Great Quarter Past Five. Father Time sent me to help you on your journey.

Rudolph:
The Great Quarter Past Five? May I call you Quart for short?

Quarter Past Five:
I'd rather you didn't if it's all the same to you.

Big Ben:
Climb inside. It's safe in there. [Rudolph climbs inside the mouth of Big Ben the whale, who begins mumbling]

Rudolph:
What did you say? [Big Ben mumbles again] Huh?

Big Ben:
I asked if you were comfortable. It's kind of hard to talk with your mouth full. Yeah. yeah.

Rudolph:
Oh sure, Big Ben, but maybe I'd better ride on top.

Rudolph:
1893 never heard of him. 1492 was too busy discovering things even to talk to us. 1965 was too noisy. And all 4000 B.C. could think about was building pyramids.

Rudolph:
Eon's tricked him again. Poor little Happy thinks Eon is the only friend he has in the world.

Sir Ten-To-Three:
We must pursue them. Yes, we must after them. To the ends of the earth, till victory is ours, for each dawn we die, we must after them!

Seventeen Seventy Six 'Sev':
But how? It's night. We can't see a thing.

Rudolph:
That's where I come in.

Big Ben:
Now Rudy, so's old Eon don't see us coming, you'd better dowse your nose; but keep that hope burning bright inside.

Rudolph:
Okay, Big Ben.

One Million:
Hey, wha, what's that for?

Big Ben:
Look at my clock.

Seventeen Seventy Six 'Sev':
11:30, New Year's Eve.

Sir Ten-To-Three:
Zounds, gadzooks, and odds bokins, we have but one half hour!

Rudolph:
We've got to be quick then. Come on, men, let's get Happy.

Rudolph:
You wanna see something? Look. [Rudolph makes his nose glow] Go right ahead, laugh right out. Doesn't bother me anymore. But when I was little, it sure gave me one heck of a time.

Eon:
Haha, they're all buried alive. Your last hope is gone and you'll live here with me as my slave. And all time will stop and I will never turn into ice and snow. Safe, safe, safe at last!

Santa Claus:
If I can travel all over the world in one night, I ought to be able to get you to Father Time in a few bongs.

[last lines]

Santa Claus, Father Time, One Million:
Happy New Year!

Rudolph:
And may it be shiny, too!

Rudolph:
You see? I stuck it out. And when I grew older, I found that this nose was the most wonderful thing in the whole world because it was a different nose from everybody else's. And it was all mine. It was really me. And heck, you know, with those ears, why you're going to be the happiest New Year ever.

Rudolph:
Aw, now don't get upset because I laughed. I couldn't help myself. Those ears made me feel so wonderful that all the happiness inside me just - just had to pop out. Same way with everybody else. Those ears, why they make folks... happy.

Happy:
Ha-ha-ha-Happy!