Tammy

Keith Morgan:
Tammy, do you know how I got to where I am?

Tammy:
Sucking dick and kissing ass?

Tammy:
That's not chicken. I don't know what it is, but it's not bird.

Keith Morgan:
I can promise you that's 110% bird.

Tammy:
Bird doesn't come out of a squeezy tube!

Tammy:
What's Brookview?

Pearl:
An old folks home; like a prison for old people.

Pearl:
Muscle shirts are for muscles!

Tammy:
Once I got fingered by Boz Scaggs.

Pearl:
Oh, Tammy.

Tammy:
No, it's okay. It turns out it wasn't Boz Scaggs.

Pearl:
I watched Neil Armstrong walk on the moon.

Tammy:
On his bike?

Pearl:
That's Lance.

Tammy:
It's - I don't care which brother it is.

Tammy:
[angrily] I do blame you. I blame you for shoving me out of a hotel room last night and letting me sleep outside like a dog. I blame you 'cause you're already on your second bloody Mary. It's not even 10:00 A.M.

Pearl:
This is vegetables.

Tammy:
[voice breaks] I blame you for packing up your sh*t and making me come home from school when I was ten years old and finding an empty f***ing room. That's what I blame you for. You know how shitty that was for a little kid? You left me all alone.

Pearl:
Well, you weren't alone. Your parents were there.

Tammy:
It's not the same thing. You were my best friend and you just left me. I'm probably gonna need a tetanus shot 'cause I got nipped by a raccoon last night.

Tammy:
Hey, don't swear in front of my grandma, you piece of sh*t!

Tammy:
And I'm suing you, b*tch!

Missi:
For what?

Tammy:
You... for being an a**hole! That's what I'm suing you for.