The Flint Street Nativity

[first llines]

Mrs. Humphries:
Who put Jesus in with the iguana?

Wise Man:
What's her name?

Jaye Dackers:
Jesus.

Wise Man:
Oh, but she can't be Jesus, there's already a Jesus. Debbie Bennett is Mary, and she's already got a...

Jaye Dackers:
This is Jesus.

Wise Man:
But Debbie Bennett...

Jaye Dackers:
Say hello Jesus.

Wise Man:
Debbie Bennett...

Jaye Dackers:
Say hello Jesus.

Wise Man:
Hello Jesus!

Debbie Bennett:
Well Jesus is more special than Colin.

Angel:
Why are you going to be Mary?

Jaye Dackers:
Because the prettiest has to be Mary, it's the law. And who's the prettiest out of me and Debbie Bennett?

Angel:
Well you are.

Jaye Dackers:
I know.

Star of Bethlehem:
Your dad can't be Santa Claus because if he was you wouldn't be Christian Jerrums you'd be Christian Claus.

Jaye Dackers:
Hey.

Debbie Bennett:
What?

Jaye Dackers:
I bring wonderful news of great joy.

Debbie Bennett:
Do you now?

Jaye Dackers:
You're going to have a baby, and it's going to be God's, and it's going to be called Jesus.

Debbie Bennett:
I know that.

Jaye Dackers:
And it's going to have blond hair.

Ass:
Jesus's head's fell off.

[last lines]

Angel:
[as her mother] Have one of these mince pies. Between you and me, those other ones are crap.

You can’t go home if you’re dead