The Kings of Summer

Biaggio:
In Italian, the word for snake means 'the demon's cock'.

Patrick:
No it doesn't.

Biaggio:
There's a chance that it doesn't.

Joe:
I don't trust that old guy.

Biaggio:
He has a shadow behind his eyes.

Vicki:
How long have you been standing there?

Biaggio:
Hello

Joe:
That's not an answer.

Patrick:
I can deal with the fact that the chickens are store bought. Okay? I can! But it really bothers me that the loaded potato isn't Biagio's recipe...

Joe:
No! No no, that actually really is. I- I honestly have no idea where he's getting chives.

Frank:
You're right, it's a classic kidnapping. They took our children and the canned goods and pasta.

Frank:
Yes, I experienced a childhood on the planet Earth. I've heard the story of the boy who cried wolf.

Biaggio:
Do you know we've been walking for half a mile? I can tell by how much we've bonded.

Joe:
You haven't said a word the whole time.

Frank:
My question for you, Gary, is: How do you want me to eat these with my normal human mouth? Do you want me to unhinge my jaw like an anaconda? Should I put this in my belly and lay out in the sun for two months, digesting it?

Joe:
Vicki's making eyes at you man. Go talk to her. She's so into it.

Biaggio:
There's no point in me talking to her anyways.

Joe:
Why not?

Biaggio:
Joe, I'm gay.

Joe:
Are you sure?

Biaggio:
Yes, my lungs fill up every time the seasons change.

Joe:
That's not being gay, Biaggio.

Biaggio:
What?

Joe:
Pretty sure that's Cystic Fibrosis.

Biaggio:
Oh.

Rookie Cop:
Mr. Toy, are you familiar with the boy who cried wolf?

Frank:
Yes I have experienced a childhood on the planet earth, so... yes I've heard of that one

Frank:
Do you think you can apply it to my situation in an allegorical fashion?

Rookie Cop:
Ah, sarcasm. The poor man's wit.

Vicki:
So Biaggio, what do you do?

Biaggio:
I met a dog the other day, it taught me how to die.

Joe:
Ah... Is anything better than a good stogie, Biaggio?

Biaggio:
Being in a situation where it's easier to lie but you choose to tell the truth.

Joe:
Hmm. Guess that's better.

Joe:
You made these?

Biaggio:
I did. It took very little time. Very few days.

Frank:
Silence, land trunt.