The Lair of the White Worm

Lord James D'Ampton:
Do you have children?

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
Only when there are no men around.

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
I change my cars as regularly as a snake sheds its skin.

Kevin:
I'm not really into headbanging.

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
Are you into any kind of banging?

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
[as Lady Marsh places the game of Snakes and Ladders into the fireplace] Rosebud!

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
Fancy praying to a god who was nailed to a wooden cross, who locked up his brides in a convent. Did they really enjoy themselves, hmm? Poor little virgins masterbating in the dark and then in penance for their sins indulging in flagellation 'til their bodies wept tears of blood. Captive virgins, hmm, in the hands of an impotent god. Dionin will have none of that, Eve.

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
Dionin has a propensity for virgins, Eve, just like your false god. Problem is, they're so hard to come by these days. Aren't they, Eve?

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
[snatches a harmonica away from Kevin he played that briefly hypnotized her, catching her off-guard] That's enough of that, Kevin! That sort of music freaks me out.

[last lines]

[James is driving with Angus, whom appears transformed at this point, along a country road]

Lord James D'Ampton:
So... who was that on the phone back there? Was it the hospital?

Angus Flint:
[gruff voice] Hospital?

Lord James D'Ampton:
Yeah, was it about the girls and any updates on them?

Angus Flint:
No. It wasn't the girls.

Lord James D'Ampton:
Oh. Say... I'm famished. Before we go to the hospital to see the girls, do you want to stop some place for a bite?

Angus Flint:
[wickely smirks] Why not?

Lord James D'Ampton:
Perfect.

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
Oh, God, Kevin, you do have *appalling* B.O.! Save your breath... you've halitosis, too!

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
Now, if you're sitting comfortably, I shall tell you why you must not be afraid to die. To die so that the god may live is a privilege, Kevin, and if you know anything at all about history, you will know that human sacrifice is as old as Dionin himself, whose every death is a rebirth into a god ever mightier! [doorbell rings] Sh*t.

Lord James D'Ampton:
No, the common earthworm was not always the lowly creatures it is today. Remember that the next time you bisect one with your shovel. You want some more? [offering a spoonful]

Angus Flint:
Mmmm. It's very tasty!

Lord James D'Ampton:
Oh, good! So you've taken to our local specialty. Pickled earthworms in aspic is not to everyone's taste, I can tell you.

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
Can I help you?

P.C. Erny:
Oh, your ladyship, I've been stung by a snake.

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
Snakes bite. Bees sting.

P.C. Erny:
Yeah, it wouldn't be a bee this time of year.

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
Hardly a snake either. It's probably a nettle.

Kevin:
That's some system you've got there.

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
How do you rate the music?

Kevin:
I'm not really into it, banging.

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
Are you into any sort of banging?

Kevin:
I'm not bad on a mouth organ.

Lady Sylvia Marsh:
[chuckles] You're sweet.