The Life

Ian Cooper:
[Speaking on movies about college] Well, let me tell you something - those movies are full of lies... beautiful, topless, lies.

Ian Cooper:
Hi, I'm Ian Cooper.

Jeff Clumberg:
Yeah, I know. I just saw you like thirty seconds ago.

Ian Cooper:
No, but... I mean... this is spontaneous, right? We've never met before today, correct?

Jeff Clumberg:
Oooh... I get it. You're doing like a magic trick. No, man, we've never met before. [winks]

Ian Cooper:
This used to be my room. I liked the synergy. Beginnings and endings. Life and death. You know they're closing down this wing next year.

Jeff Clumberg:
Yeah, it's great. We all get to move to B-wing. A man once told me they have an extra shower... per floor. And the carpets don't smell like puke. [Reverently] B-wing...

Jeff Clumberg:
Marvin, you're in a documentary. You need to wear a tie.

Jeff Clumberg:
How will we know when to stop pretending?

Ian Cooper:
I'll just tell you.

Jeff Clumberg:
Ah ha! But how can you tell us if we're pretending you're not here?

Marvin Nibblit:
We should have a codeword.

Jeff Clumberg:
Yeah, like, [looking around] "Gold-star."

Marvin Nibblit:
Yeah, that's pretty good. "Gold-star."

Ian Cooper:
Do you guys have class today?

Jeff Clumberg:
Shoot, we've always got class. What, you think we're not classy?

Travis Finch:
Hey, I know you. You're the guy from the film fest. You made that movie about the toy duck.

Ian Cooper:
"Duckstaposition." Yes, that was me. Guilty.

Travis Finch:
That movie was retarded. My friend's snowboarding video should've won.

Ian Cooper:
Oh, right..."Snow Dawgz."

Jeff Clumberg:
Marvin, did you put a thumbtack on my seat? [to himself] Who carries around thumbtacks?

Marvin Nibblit:
You abandoned me and made me look like a fool. We will be even once you accept your punishment.

Jeff Clumberg:
My punishment is to sit on a thumbtack?

Marvin Nibblit:
Part of your punishment, yes.

Scotty Emerson:
They're a great class. Every one of them is getting an "A" this semester. And, now that I think about it, everyone got "A"s last semester, too. Is it a coincidence? I don't think so. Just good luck - they all happen to be really, really smart.

Jeff Clumberg:
Oh, hey, your pen.

Emily Sessler:
It's OK, keep it. I've got plenty.

Jeff Clumberg:
Wow, I guess I can always "De-pen" on you... for a pen...

Emily Sessler:
Sure.

Ian Cooper:
If no one reads "Omega Station," why do you still draw it?

Jeff Clumberg:
For the chicks, mostly. I was told chicks really dig science fiction parody cartoonists.

Cyrus Walters:
Halo and Risk...

Ray Krockman:
Long have we dreamed of such a night...

Marvin Nibblit:
This is an excellent version of the board. They officially connected East Africa to the Middle East - I was wrong about that border... I should apologize to my cousin Amy. I said... horrible things.

Jeff Clumberg:
That's it. I'm walking.

Ray Krockman:
Don't do it. Never walk to see a woman. If you walk to her once, she'll want you to walk to her again - and then, next thing you know, she'll want you to drive to her.

Jeff Clumberg:
But I don't have a car.

Ray Krockman:
Exactly.

Scotty Emerson:
You should give me a call sometime. You want my cell number?

Cyrus Walters:
I would never call you.

Scotty Emerson:
Oh... yeah, I suppose. Marvin?

Marvin Nibblit:
I'll see you on Monday.

Jeff Clumberg:
No, if I regret anything, it's not taking South America when I had the chance. But, that's how Risk goes. The good news was, I still held Kamchatka. Like I say, there's always Kamchatka, you know? [pause] There's always Kamchatka.