The Oscars

The Oscars



  Nominated for 9 Primetime Emmys. Another 1 win & 3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.4
TV-14
Year:
2013
215
177 Views

Himself - Emcee, Herself - Performer:
We saw your b*obs // We saw your b*obs / We saw your b*obs / In the movie that we saw, we saw your b*obs. // Meryl Streep, we saw your b*obs in "Silkwood" / Naomi Watts' in "Mulholland Drive" / Angelina Jolie, we saw your b*obs in "Gia" / They made us feel excited and alive. // Anne Hathaway, we saw your b*obs in "Brokeback Mountain" / Halle Berry, we saw them in "Monster's Ball" / Nicole Kidman in "Eyes Wide Shut" / Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler," but / We haven't seen Jennifer Lawrence's b*obs at all. // We saw your b*obs / We saw your b*obs / In the movie that we saw, we saw your b*obs. // Kristen Stewart, we saw your b*obs in "On the Road" / And in "Monster" we saw Charlize Theron's / Helen Hunt, we saw them in "The Sessions" / And Scarlett Johansson, we saw them on our phones. // Jessica Chastain, we saw your b*obs in "Lawless" / Jodie Foster in "The Accused" / Hilary Swank in "Boys Don't Cry" / Penelope Cruz in "Vanilla Sky." // And Kate Winslet in "Heavenly Creatures" and "Jude" / And "Hamlet" and "Titanic" / And "Iris" and "Little Children" / And "The Reader / And whatever you're shooting right now. // We saw your b*obs / We saw your b*obs. Here's to the losers // Here's to all the losing works of art from "Lincoln" to "Amour", / To the disappointed actors wondering what they dressed up for. / Now the real performance starts with phony smiles at the ball. / Here's to the losers, God bless them all. // Here's to nominee Quvenzhan?, lift up that little head. / You'll be at the future Oscars when the rest of us are dead. / You have all Tom Cruise's talent and you're equally as tall. / Here's to the losers, God bless them all. // Oh poor Bradley Cooper, get your chin off the floor. / Here's your silver lining: You'll do "Hangover 4"! // Amy Adams, Jackie Weaver, Sally Field and Helen Hunt / Have to wait to smooch their Oscar, but you think that girl's adorable. / Time to pour a glass of 92 and curl up in a ball. / Here's to the losers, God bless them all. // Hey Seth, it's OK. All that movies will still be remembered forever. - / Oh yeah? What movies lost to "Chicago"? - Oh look, it's time to sing again! // Here's to Seth MacFarlane, ["Lincoln"! "Lincoln"!] it's your Oscar farewell / [Well, we messed that up. That's why it's live. It's a live song] // Here's the last toast of the evening, [Thank God!] it's to those who still believe / All the losers will be winners, all the givers shall receive. / Here's to trouble-free tomorrow, may your sorrows all be small. / Here's to the losers, here's to the losers, / Here's to the losers, God bless them all.

Herself - Co-Performer:
Suddenly, One Day More/I Dreamed a Dream and Winner: Best Actress in a Supporting Role: It came true. Thank you so much to the Academy for this and for nominating me with Helen Hunt, Jacki Weaver, Amy Adams and Sally Field. I look up to you all so much and it's just been such an honor. Thank you. There are so many people whose generosity and support is the reason that I'm standing here right now. I must thank Hugh Jackman. Hugh, you're the best. The cast, the crew, especially Simon Hayes and the sound wizards. Congratulations on tonight, you guys. The creative team behind "Les Mis?rables": Cameron Mackintosh, Tom Hooper; from Working Title: Eric Fellner, Tim Bevan, Debra Hayward; and from Universal: Ron Meyer, Donna Langley and Adam Fogelson. Thank you, guys, for your faith and thank you for this opportunity. I have to thank my team, led by the lionhearted Suzan Bymel. Josh Lieberman, Mick Sullivan, Maha Dakhil... Please say I just said everyone. Josh Lieberman again, just to be safe. Stephen Huvane, Jason Sloane and special contributions by Frank Selvaggi and Kerry Wagner. I want to thank my friends, especially the ones who are cheering from Crosby Street tonight. My family, who I'm so blessed to be a part of. My husband. By far and away, the greatest moment of my life is the one when you walked into it. I love you so much. [Closing remarks from her Best Supporting Actress acceptance speech] Here's hoping that someday in the not too distant future the misfortunes of "Fantine" will only be found in stories and nevermore in real life. Thank you.

Himself - Winner:
Best Picture: I know what you're thinking: the three sexiest producers alive. I want to thank the Academy; this is truly an honor. There are literally thousands of people to thank, so thankfully I'm not gonna thank them now. I'm going to thank everybody personally in the next few weeks, but there are a couple of people I want to acknowledge. I want to acknowledge my partner in crime and my great friend, George Clooney, who... Everybody should be so lucky to have a partner who is as talented and as humorous and who has as much integrity. So, thank you, George. I want to thank my beautiful wife Lysa; you make everything better. And to our kids, Maya and Olivia, I love you guys. I hope your old man's not embarrassing you up here. The reason I wanted to speak first - I wanted to speak before Ben - was Ben is a producer on the film and he is also our director. And I thought it would be awkward for Ben to thank himself, but it's not awkward for me. So on behalf of George and myself, I want to thank you, Ben. You directed a hell of a film. Couldn't be more proud of the film; couldn't be more proud of Ben. So ladies and gentlemen, our co-producer and the director of "Argo": Ben Affleck.

Himself - Presenter:
Best Documentary Feature and Co-Winner: Best Picture: Thank you very much. Thank you very, very much. I know eventually that thing is gonna start to go, so forgive me if this is a little bit quick. I want to acknowledge Steven Spielberg, who I feel is a genius and a towering talent among us. I want to acknowledge the other eight films. There are eight great films that have every right, as much a right to be up here as we do. I want to acknowledge them and thank them for what they did, and for many of them who didn't even get nominated this year. I want to thank, you know, I mean, Jack McNiece*, and Jerry Speck*, and Marty Brest, and my brother, and my mom and dad, and Patrick Whitesell, and Tony Mendez, who let us do his story. Thank you. And I'm gonna forget - I thank everyone in the movie, on the movie, worked on the movie, did anything with this movie, gets thanked. I want to thank Canada. I want to thank our friends in Iran living in terrible circumstances right now. I want to thank my wife - who I don't normally associate with Iran, but... I want to thank you for working on our marriage for ten Christmases. It's good. It is work but it's the best kind of work, and there's no one I'd rather work with. [Closing remarks during his Best Picture acceptance speech] And I just want to say, you know, I was here fifteen years ago or something, and, you know, I had no idea what I was doing. I stood out here in front of you all, really just a kid, and I went out, you know, and I never thought that I would be back here. And I am because of so many of you who are here tonight, because of this Academy, because of so many wonderful people who extended themselves to me when they had nothing to benefit from it in Hollywood. You know what I mean? I couldn't get 'em a job. I want to thank them and I want to thank what they taught me, which is that you have to work harder than you think you possibly can. You can't hold grudges. It's hard but you can't hold grudges. And it doesn't matter how you get knocked down in life, because that's gonna happen. All that matters is that you gotta get up. Violet, Sam and Sera, I love you; this is for you.


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