The Skeptic

[first lines]

[Deputy Lura looks around the dark house with his flashlight]

Deputy Lura:
Miss Deaver? It's Deputy Lura, ma'am. Got a phone call from this house. Somebody hung up. Everything all right? Miss Deaver?

[He hears a sound]

Deputy Lura:
Is somebody in there? I can hear you, you know. Miss Deaver, is that you?

[His flashlight finds Dead Miss Deaver, who appears to have died of fright]

Deputy Lura:
Jesus!

[Bryan has just learned that his aunt is dead]

Robin Becket:
God, that's awful.

Bryan Becket:
Look at the bright side. We get the house.

Robin Becket:
What is the matter with you?

Bryan Becket:
Come on, Robin, don't suddenly act like we were all close. That woman was cold as hell to us.

Robin Becket:
That's not the point.

Bryan Becket:
What is the point, Robin?

Robin Becket:
The point is that when someone just dies is not a time to bad-mouth them. It's a time to say a prayer and count your own blessings.

Bryan Becket:
I am counting my blessings. I get the house.

Sully:
You want to know what I think your problem with death is?

Bryan Becket:
Not really.

Sully:
You don't believe in anything. You know? You don't believe in a higher power, you don't believe in the afterlife, nothing.

Bryan Becket:
You're right. Life would be easier if I were gullible.

Sully:
You think I'm gullible, Beckett?

Bryan Becket:
Sully, you believe in everything.

Sully:
I don't believe in everything!

Bryan Becket:
Yes, you do.

Sully:
No.

Bryan Becket:
Okay. Didn't you once tell me you believed in the Loch Ness monster?

Sully:
Oh, they're gonna catch that sucker! You'll see.

Bryan Becket:
I don't know what the military was covering up at Roswell. Does that make it aliens?

Sully:
No! But alien bodies on the ground made it aliens!

[Beckett and Sully drive up to the house]

Sully:
Oh my God, it's a monster. She lived there alone? I wouldn't be caught dead alone in there. It would creep me out.

Bryan Becket:
I can't wait to get in there. I hear there's all kinds of antiques, even a wine cellar.

Sully:
You hear? Oh, that's right. This is the aunt that didn't like you, so she never invited you over.

Bryan Becket:
I don't care if she didn't like me. She's dead now. I'm inviting myself over.

Sully:
Yeah, but why didn't she like you?

Bryan Becket:
Don't know.

Sully:
You know, I gotta admit I find this all very, very intriguing.

Bryan Becket:
Well, you also find astrology intriguing, and it's not.

[Beckett and Sully tour the house]

Sully:
Yeah, but, you know, something still doesn't add up, you know? You got your classic mystery here. Don't you see that?

Bryan Becket:
Yeah, it's right up there with crop circles.

Sully:
Okay. You know what? I don't care how high your IQ test scores were. You lack common curiosity, and that's a flaw. It is. And I've got it. You know, I'm curious all day long, I'm like a two-year-old.

[Beckett smiles]

Bryan Becket:
You want to hear my theory on my aunt?

Sully:
[excitedly] You have a theory?

Bryan Becket:
I don't think she was the saint that everybody thought she was. I think she was hiding something, about herself or about her past. And she feared being around someone like me: someone who was smart and shared her blood, I just might figure it out. It's a pretty juicy theory. It's right up your alley. What do you think, Sull?

[Sully suddenly gasps; his eyes roll up in his head, and he staggers]

Bryan Becket:
Sully! Sully!

[Sully collapses against a table, sending a silver tea set crashing to the floor]

Bryan Becket:
Hey! [Beckett runs to him] Sully? Sully? Where's your juice? [He begins looking through the pockets of Sully's suit] Where's your juice? Where's your - oh, okay. I got it. All right, just hang on, pal, you're gonna be fine. Let's just get some juice in you.

Sully:
[whispers] There's something upstairs in the closet. Behind the crucifix.

Bryan Becket:
[to Sully] You're a crisis addict, you know that?

[Bryan has just learned that his aunt had written up a will, and that he does not inherit the house]

Bryan Becket:
Then who the hell did she leave the house to?

Sully:
The Delano Institute.

Bryan Becket:
Why would she...

Sully:
I don't know why, but she left it to a particular department there, run by one Dr. Warren Koven.

Bryan Becket:
Okay. What do we know about this Koven guy?

Sully:
He runs a sleep lab.

Bryan Becket:
Which is what, exactly?

Sully:
I don't know. I assume it's a lab where people sleep. And now they've got your house, I'm sure they're gonna sleep a lot easier.

Dr. Warren Koven:
Did something happen?

Bryan Becket:
Let's just say that I now understand how my aunt could have become confused and thought her place was haunted. [chuckles] I thought I heard something there myself, last night. I'm staying there until the estate is settled.

Dr. Warren Koven:
What did you hear?

Bryan Becket:
Whispering. Outside my door. I do not believe in ghosts, and I got the sense that you don't, either.

Dr. Warren Koven:
I don't. I don't believe in anything supernatural.

Bryan Becket:
Then we're kindred spirits. But that still leaves me short of an answer.

Dr. Warren Koven:
The human voice is not real complex. It's a sound that nature has very little difficulty mimicking. Now, what I'm gonna play for you is real. It was recorded in a farmhouse in the Berkshires, 1976. [He begins typing on his computer] It was heard by multiple witnesses, caught on tape, sworn to in an affidavit. Okay? It's the real McCoy. Uh, please. [He beckons Becket over, and Becket slides his chair to sit near the computer. Koven starts a brief audio file that sounds like someone sighing or whispering] Isn't that amazing? This is an authentic aural event. Now, that's probably what we call a chi cluster. It's a build-up of chi field energy then released into the sonic spectrum.

Bryan Becket:
But it's not words.

Dr. Warren Koven:
What do you mean?

Bryan Becket:
How does it come out as words? You know? In an intelligent sentence structure.

Dr. Warren Koven:
Well, it doesn't. I mean, maybe it does once in a million, like those monkeys typing sonnets, but...

Bryan Becket:
No, but it did. For me. The voice that I heard spoke. It did not just say oooh ahhh, it said something like, "An old trunk." And it kept repeating it, over and over. "An old trunk," or "In an old trunk." As if to suggest that I...

Dr. Warren Koven:
You heard whispering sounds, and presuming that they must be human, your brain strove to put speech to them. So, "old trunk" or "in the old trunk" was the best it could come up with. It's called psychoacoustics. Excuse me. [He gets up and walks away from the computer]

Bryan Becket:
Really! I respect the concept, I really do, but I don't know. What I heard was so...

Dr. Warren Koven:
[whispers] What'd I say?

Bryan Becket:
What?

Dr. Warren Koven:
Oh, did you catch that?

Bryan Becket:
Yeah, you said, "What'd I say?"

Dr. Warren Koven:
No, I didn't. I said "rud lie stay." [He whispers it again:] "Rud lie stay." *You* made it into "What'd I say?"

Dr. Warren Koven:
Your aunt did the same thing. She took a garden variety acoustical sub-event and made it into a haunting.

Bryan Becket:
I'm late for our meeting, Father. My apologies.

Father Wymond:
You know, some people would say being late for a meeting with a priest shows a, a subconscious hostility towards the church.

Bryan Becket:
You think it's subconscious?

Father Wymond:
I drove by there last night and I saw some lights on, and I was very curious about who you were letting stay there.

Bryan Becket:
I'm staying there.

Father Wymond:
[surprised] You are?

Bryan Becket:
Yeah. [at his expression] Robin and I are taking a little breather. Why, is something wrong?

Father Wymond:
Oh, you're gonna think I'm silly for even saying this.

Bryan Becket:
Oh, I think half what you say is silly anyway.

Father Wymond:
You're a good lawyer, Becket.

Bryan Becket:
I'm a doubting Thomas, Father. No offense. It's just in my nature.

Father Wymond:
None taken.

Bryan Becket:
Still. It's always good to see you.

Father Wymond:
And you, my friend. Just remember one thing, Becket. Thomas was wrong.

[Becket has found an old trunk in the cellar]

Bryan Becket:
[imitating Sherlock Holmes] Well, my dear Watson, what do you suppose is in the old trunk? The remains of someone murdered in this house, perhaps?

Bryan Becket:
[to Koven] I happen to be, Doctor, one of the most boringly sane people that you have ever f***ing met!

Bryan Becket:
I just don't get the way we dress kids for Halloween. Murder victims, Lizzie Borden? And then we stand back and snap pictures of it all as though it's something we should cherish, right up there with our first Communion!

Bryan Becket:
It's funny, though: you mentioned my mother. It's sad, I barely remember her. Except for tidbits, there's nothing.

Dr. Shepard:
She's in there, Bryan. She's in there.

Bryan Becket:
Okay, what? What do you think I saw?

Cassie:
A ghost.

Bryan Becket:
I don't believe in ghosts.

Cassie:
Well, that's ironic, since you're the one that saw it.

Cassie:
Look, it's not as out there as it seems, you know, that whole ghost thing. In fact, forty-six percent of the people in this country believe in ghosts.

Bryan Becket:
Forty-six percent of the people in this country can't find Europe on a map.

Bryan Becket:
You didn't hear that?

Cassie:
All I heard was you yelling!

Bryan Becket:
You didn't hear someone falling down the stairs?

Cassie:
Oh, God, no.

Bryan Becket:
You didn't hear that?

Cassie:
Oh, that's weird. The house talks, but, but only to you.

Bryan Becket:
Or I'm talking to myself.

Cassie:
Don't do that. You're not imagining things, Bryan. Why would you, all of a sudden, imagine someone falling down a flight of stairs?

Bryan Becket:
My mother died falling down a flight of stairs.

Cassie:
How'd you sleep?

Bryan Becket:
Oh, I slept like a baby. A baby that's fearing crib death, that is.

Cassie:
My God, you are one die-hard rationalist.

Bryan Becket:
Well, what the hell's the alternative? Dolls come to life?

Cassie:
No. They can be possessed.

Cassie:
Bryan, you're not crazy. You're not the type. Something supernatural is happening to you, and your episode last night - I think it was some kind of vision-spell. [He laughs] Don't scoff at what you don't know! And you don't know anything! You witnessed something in this house, a long time ago; and whatever is here, maybe your mother, is trying to tell you about it.

Bryan Becket:
You expect me to spend another night here alone? I'm shaking at breakfast!

Cassie:
Bryan, if whatever is in this house wanted to hurt you, it would have already.

Bryan Becket:
Tell me something, Father. These alleged abuses you talk of: Did you witness them first-hand, for yourself?

Father Wymond:
No. They were related to me by your aunt Marleen.

Bryan Becket:
Then it's hearsay. Testimony of conduct not directly observed. It's hearsay.

[Sully has confronted Becket about his poor showing in the courtroom]

Bryan Becket:
And all this on no sleep. Shepard gave me some pills for it, but they prove to be totally worthless, except when you mix them with Scotch, they tend to, you know, sorta enhance the Scotch. But, no, I can't concentrate on getting dressed, much less a court case! And about the only thing keeping me going these days is a morbid curiosity of where exactly it'll be that I totally f***ing lose it! [Sully uncomfortably glances over his shoulder, where he sees people are eavesdropping, with jaws dropped] So. How do you like our new relationship so far? The opening-up thing?

Sully:
[Sully hesitates, then whispers:] I like it better.

Bryan Becket:
[swallows] Well, bless your heart, partner. I think it rots.

[Dr. Shepard finds Becket in a bar, brooding over a glass of whiskey and a barely-touched sandwich]

Dr. Shepard:
I have an idea. Why don't we go back to my office for a nightcap?

Bryan Becket:
I have a better idea. Why don't you sit down and spill all the sh*t you've been keeping from me all these years, and I won't sue you for medical malpractice?

Dr. Shepard:
[humbly] All right.

Bryan Becket:
Father Wymond, that same...

Dr. Shepard:
[shaking his head] You gonna quote me a priest? They think they're dealing with the supernatural nine-to-five.

[SPOILER]

Bryan Becket:
God, how sad is that?

Dr. Shepard:
Sad? It's infuriating! Don't you think? To be locked in the closet for a sock?