The Three Stooges in Color

Kevin:
Wow, the Stooges in color. What's next, flavored yogurt?

Bill:
Hey, Mike, what do you have there?

Mike:
[picking up DVD cover] Oh, I brought along the newly restored, and now in color too, "Reefer Madness," which I'm really looking forward to.

Kevin:
Can I see that? [looks at the back cover] It's got some guy talking over it. [throws the DVD off into the corner]

Bill:
You know, guys, I've been hitting the generic fruit punch soda kinda hard, so I'm go, uh, you know...

Mike:
Drain the snake?

Kevin:
Wring out the sack?

Mike:
Splash the boots?

Kevin:
Shake hands with the unemployed?

Bill:
I was actually hoping to, uh, avoid saying stuff like that, but...

[Coming back from "Malice in the Palace"]

Mike:
Well, hello, and a hardy "knyuck knyuck" to you all. You know, one of the most enduring myths about The Three Stooges is that they make men wet themselves with laughter but women avoid them like the black death.

Bill:
Well, I think we can put that little truism to rest once and for all today, Mike, because with us today we have an actual Three Stooges-loving woman. Woman!

Mike:
That's right. Woman?

[Kevin enters, in drag.]

Mike:
Oh, and we forgot to mention that kevin had to go wash his back...

Bill:
Down at the gas station.

Mike:
Right.

Bill:
Woman!

Kevin:
Yes?

Mike:
Hello, woman.

Kevin:
Hi.

Bill:
How's it hanging, woman?

Kevin:
Just fine.

Mike:
So, woman...you're a big fan of the Three Stooges, right?

Kevin:
I think they're great.

Bill:
And you are a woman, right, woman? No penis on you at all?

Kevin:
No.

Mike:
Could you say that to the camera, please?

Kevin:
No penis. I have no penis.

Bill:
That's what we thought.

["Disorder in the Court" ends.]

Kevin:
Ah, that Curly!

Bill:
Yeah, Curly! The robust mirth of falstaff, the voice of Cyndi Lauper, the iron crotch of Johnny Knoxville.

Mike:
So, what's next?

Kevin:
Guys, I'm afraid it's a Shemp episode.

Bill:
[angered] Ah, hell! [spits]

Mike:
What?! Son of a...

[Bill and Mike walk off-camera. They re-enter, Bill carrying a handful of papers, and Mike carrying a laundry basket.]

Bill:
I'm gonna do my taxes. I need something to look forward to.

Mike:
I'm gonna finally catch up with my underwear folding.