The Unguarded Hour

[at the Deardens' party, the guests are discussing the ongoing murder trial at which Sir Alan is the prosecuting attorney]

Lady Agatha Hathaway:
My dear, I was at the trial today. Alan was thrilling! How he made that murderer squirm! [she chooses an hors d'oeuvre from the tray offered by the waiter]

Lord Henry Hathaway:
All the fellow did was to push his wife off a cliff.

Lady Agatha Hathaway:
[as Lord Henry moves to take a canap?, Lady Agatha stops him] Henry! [Sir Alan approaches] Oh, Alan, I was so proud of you today. How long will it take you to finish that little wretch?

Sir Alan Dearden:
The trial may take another week.

Lady Agatha Hathaway:
A whole week? [chuckling while stuffing her face] I mustn't miss a single day!

Lady Helen Dudley Dearden:
[softly] Excuse me, please. [leaves]

Lord Henry Hathaway:
Why is everybody so vicious about this fellow? After all, perhaps his wife *needed* murdering.

Lady Agatha Hathaway:
Well, if you think that's funny, I don't! [leaves in a huff]

Lord Henry Hathaway:
[following his wife] My dear, my dear, it wasn't meant for you.

Waiter at party:
[to Bunny] Cocktail, sir?

William 'Bunny' Jeffers:
Lady Hathaway would have made a most charming cannibal. Can't you see her dancing 'round the pot while the victim boils?

Sir Alan Dearden:
Well, anyway her morbidity is honest.

Sir Alan Dearden:
Now look here, Bunny, you're a pretty good lawyer. At least, you would be if you hadn't so much money.

William 'Bunny' Jeffers:
[Holding baby] He's so soft. Don't babies have any bones?