Then She Found Me

April Epner:
I know what I did to you, to you in particular. Kinda worst nightmare kind of thing, right? I knew that. Even at the time I knew that.

Frank:
What else?

April Epner:
I'll do it again, I will, I'll hurt you again and again. Not like that, you'd have to leave me if I hurt you like that. If we were together you would leave me if I hurt you like that again, wouldn't you?

Frank:
Yes. Yes, I would.

April Epner:
Good. But I'll hurt you in other ways, little ways, I won't mean to but I will. And sometimes I will mean to.

Frank:
This is quite an offer you've worked out.

April Epner:
You'll hurt me too, you know. You'll hurt me and change on me, you might even leave me after you promise you won't, how about that?

Frank:
I wouldn't.

April Epner:
But you might.

Frank:
But I wouldn't.

April Epner:
But... you might.

Frank:
Yeah, I guess I might.

Jimmy Ray:
[on phone] Hello?

April Epner:
...Nevermind.

Jimmy Ray:
What?

April Epner:
I have the wrong number...

Jimmy Ray:
Ms. Epner?

April Epner:
Hello?

Jimmy Ray:
Hi, it's Jimmy Ray.

Frank:
Why are you talking so fast?

April Epner:
Because I don't think Jimmy Ray should know that I'm here.

Frank:
Well if we're going to be family he should probably know he didn't just dream you up half-naked in his house and besides he knows you're here.

April Epner:
No he doesn't! I was very careful to wait until he was a safe distance away.

Jimmy Ray:
Hi, Ms. Epner!

April Epner:
Hi, Jimmy Ray.

Frank:
You made love on the day we met?

April Epner:
[awkward pause] Ah, yeah... Sorry. [Frank looks around uncomfortably] What happened?

Frank:
Um... I've gotta take a walk.

April Epner:
Really?

Frank:
The walk didn't work. You're mother's here.

April Epner:
No she's not, I told her to wait in the car. [Frank drags her around the corner]

Bernice Graves:
I'm just here if either of you need me.

April Epner:
Your wife was seeing someone else?

Frank:
Pretty much everyone else. I was too much for her.

April Epner:
Your wife? I'm sure she didn't feel that way.

Frank:
She told me.

April Epner:
What did she say?

Frank:
'You're too much for me.'

April Epner:
Ugh.

April Epner:
There is a Jewish story, an ordinary Jewish joke. A father was teaching his little son to be less afraid, to have more courage, by having him jump down the stairs. He put his son on the second stair and said, "Jump, and I'll catch you," and then on the third stair and said, "Jump, and I'll catch you." And the little boy was afraid, but he trusted his father and did what he was told and jumped into his arms. The father put him on the next step, and then the next, each time telling him, "Jump, and I'll catch you." Then the boy jumped from a very high step, but this time the father stepped back, and the boy fell flat on his face. He picked himself up, bleeding and crying, and the father said to him, "That'll teach you."

April Epner:
There is a Jewish story, an ordinary Jewish joke. A father was teaching his little son to be less afraid, to have more courage. "Jump," he said, "and I'll catch you." And the little boy trusted him, and the little boy jumped. And when his father caught him, he felt filled with love. And when he didn't, he was filled with something else, something... more: life. Amen.