Wiedzmin

Geralt of Rivia:
Have you turned stupid, soldier? Either leave on your feet or die on your back.

Hairy Bear Innkeeper:
Who's there?

Waitress:
Just a witcher.

Geralt of Rivia:
Just?

Azar Javed:
I warned you. Pissing upwind leads to disaster.

Geralt of Rivia:
You talk too much. Scared?

Azar Javed:
This time you pissed in a tornado.

Professor:
[summoned by Javed] I come at your command, master. I listen and obey, as a genie would.

Azar Javed:
Professor, cut the crap and get him.

Professor:
[to Geralt] You see, witcher? Too much water around for Azar to feel comfortable. Fire mages... limited. He needs me to do the wet work.

Geralt of Rivia:
Good. Two worms with one stone.

Azar Javed:
A heavily armed unit will kill all wounded in the hospital and make that red-headed b*tch watch. After they rape her, she will wish to die, but it will be far too late. We'll give her mutagens and see what happens. What say you, witcher? Still the indifferent tough guy?

Jacques de Aldersberg:
Only a grand plan pursued without hesitation could save humanity from what I saw in my visions.

Geralt of Rivia:
You trust your daydreams that much?

Jacques de Aldersberg:
I never asked for these visions, this gift.

Geralt of Rivia:
But you chose how to use it.

Jacques de Aldersberg:
Many times you insisted special gifts should be used for just causes. I chose the most just of causes- saving millions of lives.

Geralt of Rivia:
And pursued it by ending hundred of others.

Jacques de Aldersberg:
Many of the gifted foresaw the White Frost. Global cooling is this world's destiny.

Geralt of Rivia:
Why fight it then?

Jacques de Aldersberg:
You always believed man makes his own destiny. I seek to change all humanity's fate.

Geralt of Rivia:
You robbed humanity of its right to decide. You understand nothing.

Jacques de Aldersberg:
Like you, I tried to hide my otherness. To use my powers to redeem my sin.

Geralt of Rivia:
What sin?

Jacques de Aldersberg:
The worst of all. My otherness.

King of the Wild Hunt:
Do not deny it, witcher. You are my greatest champion. A perfect means of destruction. Wherever you walk, death and chaos follow. Now, as was years ago, accept it. Do not fight it. Give up to me yet another man you destroyed.

King of the Wild Hunt:
You want to fight me? So be it. Your flight from death ends here. Draw your sword.

Geralt of Rivia:
I was afraid you'd suggest chess.

[de Aldersberg disarms Geralt of his steel sword. Geralt draws his silver one and prepares to finish him off]

Jacques de Aldersberg:
That sword... is for monsters.

[Geralt stabs Jacques to death with his silver sword]

Alvin:
Shani screamed at the man in glasses. He told her she liked freaks and he'd show her what a real man was.

Geralt of Rivia:
Mmhh...

Alvin:
Shani cussed him and kicked him in the...

Geralt of Rivia:
Right... did they hurt her?

Alvin:
No. The man in glasses started crying and the others were afraid to get close to her while she called them bad names.

Alvin:
I heard heavy footsteps on the stairs. Then Triss got angry at those men. Angrier than she was when I colored her dress with the magic paint that is only seen in the dark.

Kalkstein:
[catchphrase] Sorry, I got lost in thought.

Abigail:
[on Alvin] With winter approaching, if I grow hungry, I'll eat him. [laughs] Doubtless the villagers think so, believing me a monster.

Geralt of Rivia:
Are you one, Abigail?

Abigail:
We all hide a monster inside us.

Dandelion:
Geralt, I was looking for you. I had no idea Nurse Natalia was such a wellspring of passion. You've ever seen her leaning over her patients? Those eyes!

Dandelion:
You've changed for the worse. Thanks for darkening my day.

Shani:
Geralt, are you about to vomit?

Geralt of Rivia:
I never puke after vodka.

Triss Merigold:
Do you have any idea of what you've done? You've sold out the city for a redhead! Get out of here before I turn you into the pig you are!

Yaevinn:
The order reveals its true face.

Geralt of Rivia:
Under their shining armor, it's all rot.

Yaevinn:
Bloede arse. He got me.

Siegfried of Denesle:
You were wrong to cross me.

Geralt of Rivia:
You're the one who's wrong.

Siegfried of Denesle:
Stop barking, wolf, and draw your sword.

Geralt of Rivia:
Do you enjoy working for a madman? Do you murder for pleasure or simply to follow orders?

Siegfried of Denesle:
I need not to listen to you. You're not even human.

Siegfried of Denesle:
[of a dead mutated knight] The bastards! Geralt, I knew him. He was still a human a month ago! Shorter than me!

Geralt of Rivia:
Well, you proved better with a sword.

Yaevinn:
Look into my eyes, dh'oine, and you will see your death.

Geralt of Rivia:
I see a blind fanatic about to perish.

Yaevinn:
Silence, traitor. You've delivered death too often. Retribution awaits.

Geralt of Rivia:
You might be able to brainwash young elves with your slogans, but they don't impress me, nor did they impress those you murdered.

Yaevinn:
I was wrong about you. You're a blind, rabid dog biting anything that moves. Someone needs to finish you off.

[visions of Yaevinn and Siegfried appear on the Ice Plains]

Siegfried of Denesle:
[to Geralt] You thought you could stand aside.

Geralt of Rivia:
I wanted no part of politics. I'm a witcher. I'm neutral.

Yaevinn:
We fought for those we love. You scorned that feel; never understand it.

Siegfried of Denesle:
A machine created to kill. You had no choice. Your time has past.

Yaevinn:
You are obsolete. The world has no use for you. Lay down your sword and rest, Geralt.

Geralt of Rivia:
[to the Grand Master] Have the courage to fight me, Jacques! Stop hiding behind specters and illusions. I'll find you.

Siegfried of Denesle:
You won't get the chance.

Abigail:
[appearing on the Ice Plains] You haven't changed a bit, witcher. Again you emerge from nowhere to kill humans.

Abigail:
The White Frost has stripped humanity of its luxurious robes. All that's left are beasts that think only of eating and procreating.

Thaler:
I'm an abso-f***ing-lutely amazing poker player.

Reverend:
Since the beginning of time, woman has been the nest of all evil! The Tool of Chaos, party to the conspiracy against the world and the human race! Woman is ruled solely by corporal lust! To satisfy her insatiable anger and unnatural desires, she gladly serves demons!

Dandelion:
Then bold Foltest uttered these words: "Virtous Radovid..."

Geralt of Rivia:
What the hell is that?

Dandelion:
I'm trying to keep a faithful and accurate record of these events.

Geralt of Rivia:
He said, "Stop deliberating, son, we need to put out the fire in this whorehouse".

Dandelion:
Geralt, you have no sense of poetry. There's the truth of time and the truth of legend.

Professor:
I hear witchers can parry bolts in flight. [Geralt draws his sword. The Professor points at crossbow at him. Leo tries to sneak behind the Professor]

Professor:
Let's see.

Geralt of Rivia:
Leo, stop! [the Professor turns around ands shoots a bolt at Leo, who falls on the floor, mortally wounded]

Professor:
Ah. Another fairy tale.

[the King of the Wild Hunt has summoned Leo's ghost from the dead]

Leo:
[to Geralt] You mock destiny. You mock it and trifle with it. Destiny is a double-edged sword. You are one edge and the other is death? No, it's we who die- because of you. Unable to catch you, death contents itself with us. Death stalks you, following in your footsteps, White Wolf. But others die. Because of you.

Professor:
Admirable fight, but duty calls us to the Trade Quarter. Contrary to popular opinion, chaos and terror do not spread on their own.

Professor:
Mistakes, witcher- they can be deadly. Give my greetings to that young companion of yours. And now, have a nice time dying.

Azar Javed:
Don't make me laugh, Geralt. Simplicity suits you like a fist in the nose and sentimentality suits you even less. You can't deny that. You're too smart. Besides, who do you want to defend? Foltest? A monarch with more sins on his conscience than the Professor has long words in his vocabulary?

[Azar has resurrected Rayla as a mutant]

Azar Javed:
Greetings, Geralt. Have you met Rayla? A singular transformation gave her the gift of life.

White Rayla:
Gerralt...

Geralt of Rivia:
A singular transformation? The gift of life? You call that enslaved bag of blood and muscles alive?

Azar Javed:
Better than alive... perfect.

Azar Javed:
You're in deep sh*t.

[repeated line]

Salamandra warrior:
Die, shite-eater!

[repeated line]

Drunkard:
You mother sucks dwarf's cock!

Drunkard:
[of Geralt] Twin albinos?

Zahin Schmartz:
Greetings.

Geralt of Rivia:
Greetings, dwarf.

Zahin Schmartz:
No pain in yer teeth? Schmartz, Zahin, dentist.

Geralt of Rivia:
Geralt of Rivia, witcher, immune to cavities.

[Geralt has found dentist Zahin Schmartz working in the torture chamber of the Execution Tower]

Zahin Schmartz:
Witcher Geralt. What brings you here?

Geralt of Rivia:
Zahin Schmartz... explains the groans. Heard of anesthesia?

Zahin Schmartz:
Sure, but herbs give me allergies.

Zoltan Chivay:
You hungry?

Geralt of Rivia:
[drunk] A little.

Zoltan Chivay:
We've bread, but we shouldn't eat plain bread.

Dandelion:
Zoltan's right. We need some lard.

Zoltan Chivay:
That mummy downstairs must have a full larder...

Geralt of Rivia:
You're joking!

Dandelion:
That mummy must have some lard, maybe pickles, too.

Geralt of Rivia:
Shani?

Shani:
Just don't get caught, Geralt. I'll pay for them tomorrow.

Geralt of Rivia:
Wait a second. Why me?

Zoltan Chivay:
Dwarves are no masters of stealth, Shani wouldn't sneak about and Dandelion, well, he'd mess up.

Geralt of Rivia:
[to Dandelion, drunk] You were going to enlighten me about vampires.

Carmen:
This is fascinating.

Geralt of Rivia:
Like Carmen said, it's fascinating, so amazing it's unbelievable.

Carmen:
I don't know much about vampires, but I do know a trick called 'the Vampire's kiss'...

Carmen:
I have an idea: let's play a game.

Geralt of Rivia:
[drunk] Hmm...

Shani:
It's a brilliant idea!

Dandelion:
I never turn down Carmen when she proposes a game.

Geralt of Rivia:
What game?

Carmen:
Truth or dare.

Dandelion:
Oo... like sexual dares?

Carmen:
Relax, Dandelion, no. Let's say you'd have to steal something from the old lady's cupboard downstairs.

Dandelion:
All right, I'll start. Shani, remember when I walked in on you and Geralt in Oxenfurt...

Geralt of Rivia:
Dandelion, don't go there...

Shani:
Unfair. I can't anger the old lady. She'll throw me out!

Geralt of Rivia:
Then you must tell the truth...

Dandelion:
How did you and Geralt end up in such a compromising position?

Shani:
Umm... professional curiosity. I was researching the influence of mutagens on a witcher's physical condition. I admit I found no defects. Speaking of which, you could use some exercise, Dandelion. It's good for your health.

Geralt of Rivia:
Ahem...

Carmen:
Sweetie, you clearly don't know Dandelion that well. They don't call him 'the tongue of the North' for no reason.

Dandelion:
[asking for Grandma's diary] Show me. I wonder what granny did when she was younger... bet she was a real player.

Geralt of Rivia:
One track mind.

Shani:
[reading the diary] Dandelion's right! Five lovers in the first few pages.

Carmen:
Still water runs deep...

Shani:
Thaler- I doubt you know him. We were walking along the dike one evening when I realized we were being followed by two men wearing grey coats over special forces armors. The coats were supposed to hide them. They didn't know at university I learned to regonize their kind. I thought we were going to be arrested, then Thaler told me not to worry- duty called and we neeeded to part. I was about to give him a piece of my mind when I noticed the men giving him signals.

Geralt of Rivia:
Were they wearing Salamander badges?

Shani:
Wait. I was curious, so I said he broke my heart and faked fainting. Thaler said to the men, "This better be important!" One of them answered, "But chief, we hid invisible-like." Thaler said, "Your balls will be invisible-like when I shove them up your arse".

Geralt of Rivia:
This investigation is getting expensive.

Raymond Maarloeve:
I'm not the Prophet Lebioda. I can't live on roots and berries.

Geralt of Rivia:
I do understand your sorrow. Your solitude. If I can do anything...

Lady of the Lake:
Cease treating me like a Goddess, I have enough worshippers. I lack one who sees me as other than the object of a cult.

Geralt of Rivia:
Milady, simple folk... they don't understand.

Lady of the Lake:
I judge them not. But let's return to your desire to help. Begin by paying me a compliment.

Geralt of Rivia:
Hmmm, I'm no good at this. Milady... ehm... your... wisdom is... inferior only to your goodness.

Lady of the Lake:
Enough. I choose not to believe you don't find me attractive, rather... I blame your famous scruples.

Geralt of Rivia:
Milady, your... eyes are like stars glimmering in the night sky.

Lady of the Lake:
Distant and cold. Weak, witcher.

Geralt of Rivia:
Your ass puts others to shame.

Lady of the Lake:
[bursting into laughter] None has ever paid me such a compliment! My brave knights only praised my soul, though I knew where their eyes fixated!

Geralt of Rivia:
Power, sex. Sex, power. They both come down to one thing- f***ing others.

Geralt of Rivia:
[of Adda] That spoiled little vixen... well, she wants some catoblepas. Rare would be best.

Triss Merigold:
Are you kidding?

Geralt of Rivia:
No. Triss, could you conjure up something, please.

Triss Merigold:
Sorcery at parties is considered very unseemly...

Geralt of Rivia:
I'll create a distraction.

Triss Merigold:
I'll do better myself. [casts spell]

Triss Merigold:
Catoblepas steak, rare, for the Princess.

Geralt of Rivia:
Thank you, Triss.

Triss Merigold:
You know I can conjure up orgasms, too?

Geralt of Rivia:
I think I prefer traditional methods.

Alvin:
[seeing a drunk Geralt returning home] You look like the Reverend returning from the cellar.

Geralt of Rivia:
Alvin...

Alvin:
You won't hit me, will you?

Queen of the Night:
[of Blue Eyes] The girl lives like a princess here. She wears the finest silks. Clients sell their estates to spend a single night with her. She enjoys servants and comforts you couldn't dream of. Her brother wished to give her in marriage to some old fool with hemorroids larger than a... No matter. She, on the other hand, desires to be a princess of the night. An eternally beautiful forbidden fruit. Vizima's dream.

Patrick de Weyze:
Sister, come.

Blue Eyes:
But... I was never under any spell.

Patrick de Weyze:
Silence, woman! We'll find you a husband who will beat this nonsense from your head!

Geralt of Rivia:
I can help you break the werewolf spell.

Vincent Meis:
Vrrau. No need. I'm better at catching criminals this way. Also, the criminal fear this terrible monster that defends the poor.

Roderik de Wett:
We know about your illegal gathering with the elf! Open up or you'll hang!

Yaevinn:
[to Triss] Sorceress, teleport us now! My unit is ready.

Geralt of Rivia:
Are you crazy?

Triss Merigold:
He's right, Geralt. This may be our only chance... Alkh'imbagha, harr'a!

Declan Leuvaarden:
I once saw a mage who emerged from a teleport without his legs. They arrived 5 seconds later...

Dandelion:
How did you get here?

Geralt of Rivia:
By teleport.

Dandelion:
Triss teleported me too. It was amazing. I always wanted to see what it's like.

Geralt of Rivia:
She did that for you? Must be having an off day.

Dandelion:
So why did Triss teleport you here?

Geralt of Rivia:
Let's say she saved me from the kiss of death.

Dandelion:
Interesting, perhaps I'll use it in my new ballad. In any case, what a truly delightful place. Triss said we should stay here until Princess Adda stops dreaming of slitting your throat.

Geralt of Rivia:
I'd have to agree... So, tell me about this place... in prose, if you don't mind.

Dandelion:
It's a charming area, thoroughly magical in its mood. The peasants seem altogether happy, while the peasant women are... mmmmmmmmm...

Adam:
I strive to compose a love poem for my beloved Alina.

Geralt of Rivia:
Ask Dandelion, the poet. Supposedly, he's pretty good.

Adam:
He said love would inspire me. He busies himself performing a diversionary maneuver.

Geralt of Rivia:
A maneuver?

Adam:
He's courting the miller's daughter to make Miss Arlene jealous. Clever, that one.

Adam:
[reciting his poetry] Ahem. Your hands fine and slender, your hips big and tender, all night and day, spin my head a painful way...

Geralt of Rivia:
[appalled] Enough. Speak no more...

Geralt of Rivia:
I'd best start at the beginning. What's your connection to Salamandra?

Berengar:
What the hell... it's a simple story. They found me some time ago and the Professor made me an offer I couldn't refuse. You know the kind- help us or we'll feed you your balls.

Abigail:
What about your sword? I heard witchers carry two - a silver blade for monsters and steel for humans...

Geralt of Rivia:
Both are for monsters.