Critters 4

Fran:
A**hole!

Al Bert:
Eh, Captain a**hole.

Ethan:
I guess Rick's had a little too much coffee again?

Al Bert:
Rick has got a bug up his butt. See. He's gone and discovered himself a magnetic space anomaly. And he's gotten stiff in the jock.

Rick:
It's rust.

Ethan:
Magnify times four, please.

Rick:
Now it's great big rust.

Rick:
We got a goldmine here. I can smell it.

Al Bert:
I can sure smell something.

Al Bert:
Nuclear core is reading just shy of the red. Nearly to alert.

Rick:
Radiation?

Al Bert:
Negative. It looks more like natural decay. I'd give her about a month before we all glow in the dark.

Bernie:
Don't kind about sh*t like that. Just show me where the pharmacy is.

Al Bert:
What's the matter? Feeling a little bit under the weather there Bernie?

Al Bert:
Like my ex-wife. Anything I say, she does the opposite.

Bernie:
What's the matter?

Fran:
Rick! Cargo bay.

Al Bert:
Seems our fearless leader has some plans for Terracor's long-lost pod.

Bernie:
You mean steal it? Steal what's inside?

Al Bert:
Yup, leave us here counting R.E.M.s as we glow in the dark.

Bernie:
Scum bag. Are you sure?

Ethan:
Just what did you do to him?

Charlie:
Me? Nothing. That was the Critters. Look, I'm a bounty hunter, and I got job to do.

Charlie:
You an alien?

Ethan:
No, do I look like one?

Ethan:
What do these things look like?

Charlie:
What do they look like?

Ethan:
Yeah.

Charlie:
You ever see a piranha?

Ethan:
It's a fish, right?

Charlie:
That's right. They look nothing like a piranha. But they're hungry like a piranha.

Charlie:
Well, uh, that means everybody I know is.

Bernie:
They're dead. They're toast. They're history.

Charlie:
That's not normal.

Al Bert:
No sh*t, Sherlock.

Charlie:
No, I mean they don't usually turn from a fight. Or a meal.

Fran:
I thought you said there was no radiation danger.

Al Bert:
Well, Fran, maybe the nuclear core just changed its mind.

Al Bert:
Congratulations, Charlie, you have just murdered the ship.

Al Bert:
Rick and Bernie are dead. For all I know we may have been infected by some alien germ. So unless anyone else has another suggestion, I propose that we just hole up here and wait for them to come rescue us. They will be here any minute.

Ethan:
Yeah. If we don't blow up first.