Full Monty

Police Inspector:
Does your daddy always take his clothes off in front of you?

Nathan:
Only when he's rehearsing.

Gaz:
Told 'ya, robbing pipes, that's all.

Police officer:
Gary, my friend, no bugger robs pipes in the buff.

Gaz:
We do. Don't get your clothes dirty, do you?

Dave:
Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is not.

Gerald:
He's fat, you're thin, and you're both f***ing ugly.

Horse:
No one said anything to me about the full monty!

Gary 'Gaz' Schofield:
Folks don't laugh so loud when you've a grand in your back pocket.

Gaz:
Y' know Dave, it's a thought...

Gerald:
Ha! I could just see Little and Large prancing around Sheffield with their widges hanging out. Now that *would* be worth 10 quid...

Gaz:
Don't be so bloody daft. We were just saying...

Gerald:
Widges on parade! Bring your own microscope!

Dave:
The less I eat, the fatter I get.

Lomper:
So stuff yourself and get thin!

Gerald Arthur Cooper:
Fat, David, is a feminist issue.

Dave:
Well, what's that supposed to mean, when it's at home?

Gerald Arthur Cooper:
I don't bloody know, do I? But it is.

Gaz:
Gentlemen, the lunchbox has landed!

Gaz:
I've got a degree in ass wiggling, mate.

Gaz:
So, uh, Horse... What can you do?

Horse:
I dunno, really... Let's see, there's the, uh... The bump, the stomp, the bus stop... Me breakdancing days are probably over, but there's always the funky chicken.

Dave:
We want to know about dancing that's all.

Gerald Arthur Cooper:
Dancers have coordination, skill, timing, fitness, and grace. Take a long, hard look in the mirror.

Gerald:
Button it you lot some of us are trying to get a job, hey! and it says no smoking in here…

Gaz:
Ey and it says job club up there, remember the last time you saw one of them f***ing walk in?